06.
THE INTANGIBILITY OF PRINCIPLES
In which Achlys thinks PLEDIS is a setback.
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October 7, 2020
EVERYTHING MUST COME to an end.
This is something Achlys has mused about on certain sleepless night. Even if energy can't be created nor destroyed, the shape it takes ceases to exist when the time comes — the source is constant yet it's form varies. She likes to think that, on the greater scheme of life, nothing comes to an end (instead, it just grows) and it's the temporality of human existence that gives permanence, or the lack thereof, such importance.
Nevertheless, there was the anomaly of art to account for. The song of the nightingale persists, even if the nightingale itself doesn't. The song she hears it's the same song all the generations before her heard. The song, not inherently made of energy, resists it's transformation.
Even if SEVENTEEN once ceases to exist — she mused — there would always be their music. She liked this thought.
Days later, once again thinking during one of her late nights, she concluded she had jinxed herself, because just four days after a similar conversation aroused within the group.
As had started to happen well before their debut, Seungcheol rushed to gather all fourteen members in a room to talk. They quickly fell into the living room, pooling around the couches (some throwing themselves onto them, some on the floor, and some bringing chairs knowing the lack of places to sit fairly well).
Achlys, sat with her legs crossed on a chair just to not be crushed between the other members, listened to the conversation going on. Joshua commented on a song cover he wanted to do, Hoshi explained an idea he had for a song, and Seungkwan excitedly described a program he had been asked to participate in.
Everything was going well, as always. The smiles everyone wore only fell when Mingyu finally broke his uncharacteristic silence and posed a question no member knew how to answer.
"I've been thinking a lot about it lately," he started during a brief pause in the chatting of the group, "Specially since we published our last album, it's just been a constant thought—"
"Okay, okay, we know you've been going through it," Jeonghan stopped him from rambling, "Early midlife crisis— but what is it?"
Mingyu took a deep breath, scratching his head, "Contract renewal. We haven't talked about it."
The silence after that was uncomfortable, Achlys noted, specially when compared to the one between the members before Mingyu talked. She pursed her lips, looking at her hands and scratching her knuckles. SEVENTEEN had an expiry date, designed to cease come a special day.
"I mean," Hoshi broke the tension, "I just didn't think we had to talk about it?"
"Of course we have to talk about it," SCoups sighed, pushing his back further into the sofa, "We need to know how all of us think about this."
Hoshi shrugged, "I just don't think there's much to talk. We have CARATs and each other, and it isn't fair on PLEDIS if we betray them. Yes, their way of taking care of us has been rocky, but they have done it, which is a lot as it is. I thought we would all renew our contracts."
Vernon shrugged. "I'll just go with the flow. I don't have any reason to make demands so I'll follow whatever you think is correct." It took him a second to end his words. "Not to put pressure on you."
Woozi shook his head, "No pressure here. I didn't say anything because I don't believe that this is the correct way of going about it. We're all somewhat reticent to argue this out in the open so let's just keep each other updated and maintain everything between PLEDIS and us."
For Achlys, Jihoon's words rang painfully true. The reminder of her priorities had her hands itching, and she feared to draw blood if she kept scratching at them.
"And why's that?" Hoshi asked, a frown taking over his face, "We're a group."
"Yes, but we're also individuals. All of us have priorities, projects and plans, not to start with money matters," Woozi shook his head, "There's more to this than just SEVENTEEN, I'm afraid."
Mingyu, again, was the one to interrupt the moment of silence, "I don't agree. It's SEVENTEEN that we're doing this for— it's for us. We should do this together."
"Lys," Joshua whispered from beside her, calling the attention of his best friend, "Careful with your hands. Are you okay?"
At Joshua's question, twelve more pairs of eyes focused on Achlys, who, pondering, just nodded and slowly separated her hands.
Minghao, always one for avoiding his problems, changed the topic and it was soon forgotten by most members. However, the gaze of Mingyu on her hands, unwavering throughout the afternoon, begged her to tell him her opinion on the renewal.
—
Mingyu took it upon himself to be the bridge between PLEDIS and SEVENTEEN.
Days later, Achlys found herself with the option of burning that bridge down.
"Noona," he sang, running to catch up with her as she went to live the training room, "I wanted to talk with you."
She have him a meek smile, ruffling his hair once he stepped beside her. He took it as the opening to take the initiative in the conversation.
"You were acting weird the other night so," he wavered, "I wanted to personally ask you about, you know, the renewal. One on one."
"Mingyu, I appreciate what you're doing," she started in a quiet voice as her eyes didn't move from the floor, "But this isn't something you should try to fix alone."
"That's the thing," he spoke up, "I'm not 'alone', and neither are you, noona. I've been talking with everyone, and you're the only one that seems to really have something holding them from signing the contract again. I'll— We can't continue as thirteen members. That's just... That isn't SEVENTEEN. I understand you also want to focus on yourself and your individual career, but you can't leave us—"
"That's not the problem, Mingyu. At all," Achlys shook her head.
"Then," he huffed, "What is it?"
"You only need to know that I genuinely want to stay in SEVENTEEN, okay?" She sighed, locking her from hers together to avoid scratching her hands. "There's no 'individual career' bothering me, or strange priorities you think I could have placed over the group. Mingyu, if I'm not telling you the reason why I'm not sure on renewing the contract is because I don't think it would help any of us. This problem doesn't concern my desires or what I think the group deserves or wants. This concerns me and PLEDIS."
"This concerns all of us, noona!" he whined, "We're a group. What concerns you, concerns me."
"I understand your worry, but I'm worried too, even if it doesn't seem like it."
Her words, despite the poor attempt at using a reconciliatory tone, put an abrupt stop in the conversation. Mingyu only joined her in awkwardly looking forward in silence as they walked.
"The way to fix it is easy, noona," he murmured after a minute.
She shook her head, "Renewing the contract isn't as easy as you think."
"But it is!"
"It isn't, Mingyu. Your contract and my contract are different. What's holding me back isn't SEVENTEEN — hell, I'd do anything for you — but PLEDIS."
"They're giving you the opportunity to renew your contract, noona. What else do you want them to do? They've helped us so much already, it's only fair—"
Mingyu's desire for loyalty was naive, — Achlys concluded — terribly naive. He hadn't yet understood what it entailed, or that it isn't as a tidy as one would hope; being loyal to one thing means being disloyal to everything else.
For her, being blindly loyal to SEVENTEEN, and by extension, to PLEDIS, meant being disloyal to herself, and Mingyu was far from understanding where her true loyalties laid.
"Mingyu," Achlys interrupted, "This isn't something I want to talk about now of all times. Rest assured that you'll be the first one to know of any decisions I'm planning to take and that I'll try my best to stay in SEVENTEEN, but the last thing I want is to pull you into a problem I have with the company."
"There isn't a problem, noona, just... Obstacles! We can fix them together, it concerns the whole group. If it's about your salary, I'm sure we could talk with someone."
"It's really sad that you think I'm that cheap," Achlys frowned, "Money would never be above SEVENTEEN in my list of priorities. My problem with PLEDIS isn't that I'm paid half of your salary — I'm okay with that, if it's the price and value of my work in the group —, what's stopping me from going head-first into signing a new contract with PLEDIS is the fact that most of the clauses go against my principles."