~Killian~
Concerned, I watched Ayla as she cycled through a variety of emotions. I didn't know what to do other than let them run their course. She was handling it differently than I had expected, but it's not as if I had made it a habit to give targets their profiles.
When she started mumbling to herself, I knew the situation was going downhill fast, but I still had no idea how to resolve it. Even a bit of experience with emotional circumstances would've helped me, but alas, I had none.
"Ayla." I attempted to get her to turn her attention to me to no avail. "Ayla, hey."
Goddamnit, I knew letting her see the folder was a bad idea. I didn't even leave my room for days after Sir showed me my profile during some sick attempt at reinforcing in me that I was his. It worked, to say the least. I never questioned him again after that.
Abruptly, Ayla stood. "I'm going to fucking kill him."
Quickly, I darted after her as she bounded to the front door, but as soon as she began to open it, I reached above her to slam it shut, trapping her inside.
"Ayla, where are you going?" My tone was cautious. The volatility in her temperament alarmed me. I sensed an explosion coming, and with this woman, that would not be good.
She turned to face me. Her pupils were narrowed, filling her typically warm irises with white hot anger. "I'm going to kill him."
"And who is that?"
"Cox."
"Ayla." I pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand. "You can't do that."
"Why not? You do it."
It hurt, knowing Ayla thought so little of me. I tried not to think of the bite she just took out of me while responding. "We don't know for sure it's him behind this yet."
"It's him. It's that fucking asshole because who else could it be?"
"Ayla, I'm serious. Do you really want to kill someone who may be innocent? Are you ready to deal with that guilt for the rest of your life?" I tried talking some sense into her. "Do you really want the council to send you to rot in a jail cell? Because that's what they're going to do when they find out you took action without consulting them, even if he does turn out to be the guilty party."
"Yes. Let me out."
"I'm not going to do that."
"Fuck you." She tried to shove me, but in response, I threw more of my weight into keeping the door closed.
She was trapped.
"Let me out. Let me out. Let me out." She yelled, banging against my chest with her fists in time with each word.
The last demand came out more powerful than the first few. Was she trying to use an apha command on me?
Finally, I had enough. As someone without ties to her pack, the command wouldn't work on me at first, but eventually, it'd wear down my willpower.
"Stop it. Now," I growled, capturing her fists with my hands.
Trying to release herself from my grasp, she struggled for a minute. Just the fact that she didn't think to try to kick me showed me she wasn't thinking straight.
Eventually, her breathing evened out, so I took a step back, giving her space, but still holding her hands captive in mine.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have hit you."
I shrugged. "It didn't hurt."
"Killian," Ayla whispered, "I'm scared."
Her words pulled at my chest. Squeezing her hands gently, I replied, "That's okay."
"I don't want to die. Not yet."
"You're not going to die." I watched as another emotion rolled over her like a wave. Dread.
"There's gotta be so many of them out there, and they..." She paused, swallowing. Her voice quavered as she finished. "Well, they won't have something forcing them to care."
"No one's going to try to kill you as soon as the bounty's gone, Ayla, and I'm going to make the bounty disappear. You hear me?" I pressed her hands again. "I promise you that as soon as I find out who set the price, I'll take care of it. That's what I do. That's my job. You don't have to worry about killing anyone."
"You shouldn't have to do that," Ayla murmured. She tilted her head up to the ceiling, and a single tear fell down her left cheek.
That broke me. A feeling I can't describe welled up inside my chest to the point where it physically pained me. Empathy?
"But I want to," I stressed, releasing one of her hands to wipe the tear from her chin. She likely would have rathered me to not acknowledge it, but I couldn't help myself. At that moment, I too was trying to redirect my anger. The need to eliminate any threat that dared to think ill about Ayla was overwhelming. She didn't deserve to feel this way.
"I'm sorry." Ayla's dejected eyes locked with mine. "This whole situation is so fucked."
I used my grip on her right hand to tug her into me and tuck her head beneath my chin. Her hands immediately went around my back.
"It is," I agreed. "Doesn't mean it's your fault, so stop apologizing to me."
Ayla didn't respond. It was eerily silent for a long while, so I gently moved her back a step to survey her face. Usually, I could tell exactly what she was thinking just by the emotion in her eyes, but when I looked at her then, I saw nothing. After the one tear, she hadn't let any more fall. She'd numbed herself; I could sense it, and that scared me more than any threat to her life. When all of this was done, I wanted her to be the same annoyingly confident, snarky Ayla.
Aiming to distract her, I brought up the first thing I could think of. "I didn't eat dinner today. Did you? I have some vegetables I could make something with if you're hungry."
She shook her head.
"No? Are you sure? Then what's all this shit you've been giving me about needing more fiber?"
When that didn't even get a smirk out of her, I decided to head to the kitchen to make what I had anyway. She was always a sarcastic little shit when we were eating, so I was sure this would snap her out of it.
At some point after I'd turned the stove burner on and started trying to boil a pot of water, I heard the entry door slam. Cursing, I sprinted after her only to turn around when I realized I couldn't leave the gas on. Quickly, I turned the burner off and removed the pot that had started to boil in my absence. In my rush to move it over to the sink, I grabbed the handle and the side of the pot at the same time. Instantaneously, I hissed, dropped it into the sink, and effectively sloshed boiling hot water everywhere. Knowing the minor burn on my hand would fade in a matter of minutes, I ran it under cold water for a few seconds before following Ayla.
Outside, she was nowhere in sight, but I carefully followed her scent all the way to the main house. Hesitating, I paused under the cover of a shed out back. It was almost 2 in the morning, and the place looked quiet. All the lights were off, but with werewolves, that meant nothing. Praying that my next decision would not bring about my death, I silently crept through the back door and up the two flights of stairs to Ayla's room where I found her lying curled up on her bed in the darkness.
Her back was turned to the door. I could've killed her before she even turned around to see who had come in, except she hadn't even bothered looking.
"Ayla, hey," I greeted softly, approaching her and running my hand gently down her exposed arm. I knew I should have waited to admonish her, but I couldn't help it. "You should really be sleeping facing the door. The locked door."
"And you really shouldn't be in this house."
A hint of a smile formed on my face in spite of my worry. Her prickly remark meant she hadn't completely spiraled.
"You're right," I admitted. "I shouldn't be. Are you gonna scoot over, or are you going to make me stand?"
Ayla finally twisted around to peer at me. "Killian." Her voice was soft. "You should leave."
"I'm already here." I shrugged. "Any damage is already done."
"Since when did you become the more nonchalant one of the two of us?"
"I'd say about an hour ago."
The withering glare she gave me next didn't pack as much punch as it normally did.
"Too soon?" I joked.
Unresponsive, she stared at me for a bit before moving ever so slightly to the far side of her bed.
I removed my shoes, climbed on next to her, and backed myself up against the headboard. "My boss has a file on me too," I shared. "He made me read it once."
Still all curled up in a ball, she looked up at me with curiosity in her gaze. "Made you?"
"He's manipulative. He knew it would scare me into submission."
"You weren't doing something that he wanted you to do?" She shifted closer, letting her legs brush against mine.
"Exactly. I knew I was being manipulated, but I still let him win. Are you going to let them win?"
"No."
Brushing my fingers against her cheek, I smiled. "Good."
~~~
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