✫ ✧ ˚ . * ✷ ˚ ✫
You're in the middle of whining when he urges you to move, despite your protests about how your legs hurt when he hears the commotion happening behind you two.
He's surprised Taehyung isn't the one who's whining but it's you. To be fair, you've been hiking for quite some time now and if someone isn't used to walking such a long distance, of course they'll feel it sooner. You're that someone.
But there's no time to be thinking about all of this when you both turn around, your sentence cut off by a loud cry Jungkook immediately recognizes. His suspicion is proved right when he spots Kiko on the ground, hands gripping what seems to be her ankle. He moves fast and without thinking, rushes toward her and her crying figure.
The ground is hard under his knees but that's the least of his worries as his heart twists when he's met with her teary eyes and usually soft features twisted into a painful expression. Hoseok joins Jungkook, scanning Kiko but he barely notices him as he tries to examine her ankle.
"I think you twisted your ankle,"
He doesn't want to hurt her, so his touch is as delicate and soft as it can get as her whimpers die down. The ankle is already swelling and it's not a pretty sight, judging by Kiko trying to bite down her cries and whimpers it must hurt too. It's more than clear she won't be able to continue to hike, not when she is still on the ground, probably not capable of standing up on her own, without any help.
"We have to get back. You can't walk with your swollen ankle." he informs her, feeling her warm and brown eyes on him.
"No, you guys wanted to go hiking. I can just walk slower, or wait for you to come back."
Jungkook knows how stubborn she can be, especially if she doesn't want to ruin the moment for everyone else and this is exactly the case. He wants to smile at her thoughtfulness and selfness, though his worry won't allow him.
He's ready to protest, informing her that there's no way she'll be able to handle the entire hike and the way back in this state. He knows she knows that – there's no need to pretend as if she is fine when she's not.
"It's fine. We can separate, but someone has to go with you. You won't be able to walk that distance on your own." Luckily Namjoon joins the conversation, apologetically looking at Kiko whose features turn into defeated ones.
"I'll take her," he says immediately, the need to get her to safety and let her rest her ankle strong. "You guys go."
He helps her stand up, his heart blooming as he's close to her and is welcomed by the familiar scent of her. He tells her to get on his back, not wanting her to strain herself any longer since she keeps her feet in the air, barely holding her balance.
"Kookie, Hoseok can take me."
He feels endearment by the nickname, suddenly feeling like the time has turned back – and things and love between them is the same.
Like he will. Why would he do that when Jungkook is already here, offering his help so everyone can continue with their hike? Is this her way trying to get away from him? He won't take that.
"No, it's okay." he assures her, urging her to get on his back.
The second her arms are wrapped around his neck and her body safely hugged by his hands, he feels calmness in his chest though it doesn't match to his frantic heartbeat. Namjoon offers to help, informing he's got some stuff that might help her ankle as three of them separate from the rest of the group.
With Kiko still on her back, he listens to the ground scrunching against his and Namjoon's boots as Namjoon is walking a little bit at the front. She's silent and Jungkook nibbles on his bottom lip, not really sure if he should say something. Should he start a conversation? Fuck, he hates to be nervous. It feels so weird. He wants to make everything right and it causes his nerves to act up, but at the same time he feels calmness of having her close to him once again. It's just another reason that reminds him how much he misses her. Not only being close to her but being in her presence.
He wonders if she's just as nervous as he is. Does she want to start a conversation? Or does she just want to get out of here, so he is no longer holding her in his arms?
Oh, fuck. Y/N...
He realizes he left you there, not even acknowledging you properly as he just left. Idiot, idiot, idiot. He curses at himself, dread rushing over him.
He feels so fucking bad. Are you mad at him? Are you annoyed he left with Kiko? Well, there shouldn't be any reason for you to be actually mad at him because you're not dating. But nobody knows that. You must've looked like a fool, a fool he made out of you, for leaving with his ex and leaving his "girlfriend" without any words or explanation. But despite this, he still feels bad for you and not because of how it might have looked like for your fake act. You deserve better, fake dating or not. Fuck. He fucked up.
He was so blind with Kiko that he didn't think things through.
"Thank you for taking me," Kiko speaks up, sensing his tense body as she tightens her grip on him. "I appreciate it, but Hobi could've taken me. I don't want to cause any trouble between," she pauses, "you and Y/N." she adds softly.
Is that a pain he hears in her voice?
He lets her words sink in, wondering if she's saying all of this because she finds it weird how he left you there. Shit, he practically threw himself out there to help Kiko, instead of at least glancing at his "girlfriend". This might complicate things and it might make her suspect you two. It's already enough that Hoseok is suspicious about his sudden new relationship with his best friend.
He's not sure how he would feel if somebody found out about the fake dating. He guesses he would be embarrassed that he is going to such lengths for his ex-girlfriend that broke up with him. This way it sounds pathetic – he sounds pathetic. But he knows why he's doing it. He knows she still cares and there's something more to it.
Her reason behind their break up seems sketchy, and it's not because Jungkook can't reconcile with it. If she wasn't acting so weird, he would have to let her go and maybe he will have to. But he can sense there's a piece that is missing.
But most importantly, he would feel sorry for you because he dragged you into this. Sure, you agreed and you have a deal. It's simple and he doesn't want to overthink it. But he cares for you so much, he wouldn't want to put you in any humiliating position. Fuck. That thought makes his heart twist in a painful manner.
"Don't worry, there's no trouble." he assures her lightly.
Is he telling the truth though?
Are you mad at him?
He would be if he were you. And that's why he'll talk to you as soon as you come back because he wouldn't want to make it seem as if he doesn't care about you. Fake or not, he still made a mistake.
Namjoon stops and waits for the two of them to get closer to him, as he asks Kiko questions about her ankle as he assures her he'll do his best to take care of it.
He wishes he could talk to her more, maybe bring up some topics that might be too painful for both of them but with Namjoon's company it's not possible. He will have to wait for later. He just hopes he will have enough time to do that.
✫ ✧ ˚ . * ✷ ˚ ✫
No. No. No. No.
No. He can't believe it.
He doesn't want to believe her. Because how could she?
Why the fuck did he ask her if she cheated on him?
Deep down, it felt like the only reason why she would break up with him just like that. And then her whispered and silent "Yes" just broke his heart into a million pieces all over again.
The whole conversation keeps replaying in his mind, fuck, he barely remembers the way back to the camp. His bigger fear has been just confirmed and he has no idea what to do. He wants to leave. Right this second. To pack all of his things and maybe cry himself to sleep. He feels anger, betrayal and a heartbreak.
He needs you.
For some reason he needs to tell you, find comfort in you.
Maybe he shouldn't because he's emotional and his emotions are getting the best of him. He is confused and frustrated, he shouldn't involve you into his mess more than you already are.
Everyone around him is happy, completely clueless about the inner battle inside him, crushing his chest and heart. He is sensitive, that's for sure. And then he sees you.
You and Namjoon sit together, smiling at each other as you're immersed in whatever conversation you have going on. No. He shouldn't bother you with his shit when you're clearly having fun. Would it be selfish of him to call out to you and spill his heart out?
Ever since Kiko confirmed his biggest fear, his own mind and heart not having an idea how to deal with it, it's like he can't control his emotions. He's angry and hurt by her. If he had a time to cool down, he would not how stupid it is to be angry at everyone.
Namjoon spots him, he notices the slight awkwardness in his movements as he puts more space between you and him – probably thinking it's inappropriate now that your boyfriend is staring at you two having a warm conversation. And of course, you notice and look in his direction which makes him look away.
No, it's better if you stay away from him right now. He needs to be alone – deal with stuff in his way. Even though he knows what that is. He is too disturbed to even think properly.
But of course, it wouldn't be you if you just ignored him.
Jungkook manages to grab a beer for himself, trying to make himself relax even though it seems incredibly impossible. And then you call out to him but he finds himself not to react to your soft and very noticeable worried voice.
And before he can think, he barks at you something he would have never done if it weren't for his current state. "Why don't you go back to giggling with Namjoon, would you?"
He realizes how fucked up that sounds as soon as he says it, an immediate guilt spreading all over him but the frustration and anger overpowers him. And then you joke, chuckling as if everything is fine.
Only that it isn't.
"Ouch, who hurt you?"
"I'm not in the mood, Y/N."
He needs space. He wishes it would be easy to tell you that. But there's a low chance of you actually stepping back and allowing him to have it.
And the more he thinks about what he saw, he realizes what a fucking idiot he must look like to everyone. Kiko made a fool out of him. She cheated on him and while you're supposed to be here, pretending to be his girlfriend, you sit with Namjoon giggling and smiling at each other like there's no worry in the world.
You open your mouth, Jungkook should've expected it though. You push him and although he knows you're coming from a good place, he voices his frustration the wrong way.
"For fucks sake, just leave me alone. Go back to Namjoon."
But you don't let him go so easily. You open your mouth again, this time more persistent and he knows every word you say is right. That's why he didn't want you to be close to him. Not when he's overpowered with so many negative emotions. However, the worries and guilt is the least of his priorities right now and handling all of this by himself, he can't think straight.
He's annoyed and angry. Never felt this way toward you before. You push his buttons and if he could think straight, he would know you're right.
It's not fair of him to bring Namjoon into this, or to lash out at you like this at all and you remind him that there's no point in you acting like this because of his friend. And unfortunately for him, well mainly for him, his mouth beats him to everything before his mind could. You think he is jealous, that's what you asked him.
"I'm not. But you're supposed to be my girlfriend and here you are giggling with some other guy. How does that make me look? How does that make us look?"
Right now, this is the least of his worries but he's not in the right state of mind to talk about what happened with Kiko. He's being totally unfair but he can't control it.
When your response comes in a form of laugh, he actually bites into his tongue to not react even more inappropriately than he already has.
"Is that what's bothering you? I don't know about you, but you're the one who sneaked out with his ex-girlfriend to God knows where. So, how does that make me look, huh?"
He glares, even though he's aware that you've got a point. Somehow you always manage to make one. None of this is doing any good to him, nor to you. He hates that you're getting frustrated and mad, he hates that he's the cause of it but like everything, this is in the back of his mind.
Jaw clenched tightly, he decides to keep his lips locked because that's for the best. He doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to explain things and he needs to be left alone to ponder about everything that's happened. Does he want to cry? He's not sure. He's not the type to cry much, if he does it has to be something very serious for him to shed tears. One thing is sure. He's heartbroken and hurt.
You stand there for a moment, probably giving him time to collect his thoughts and say something, but he doesn't want to talk. He only hopes you will respect that because he doesn't want to fight.
He's too busy not even looking at you to notice you scanning the situation. Until you speak again with a much gentler and quieter voice. The tone that almost makes him fall down on his knees and beg you for forgiveness.
"Okay. Whenever you want to talk, I'm here."
You sound defeated, almost similar to how he feels right now but at the same time, he's pretty fucking miserable.
When you walk away with shoulders slouched to join others, Jungkook only stares in the distance not sure if he feels revealed that he's finally left alone, or feels even more miserable that he managed to have an argument with one of the most important people in his life.
✫ ✧ ˚ . * ✷ ˚ ✫
You fell asleep quite quickly, at least that's what Jungkook thinks when the soft puffs have been coming from your side for some time now. Still, he lays with his back turned to you for a moment until his side starts to ache from not changing his position. He turns back to you, finally facing you to find your face turned in the opposite direction.
He pulls out his phone to check the time, immediately turning down the brightness to not hurt his eyes and also not to wake you, even though you look like you wouldn't. Turning his screen to you, he checks your face as he leans closer to you. You're cuddled in your sleeping bag, fists curled under your chin as you look peaceful. Fuck, he feels like a dick.
He tried to sleep but he couldn't. Even when his eyes stayed close, his mind would take him to different places and all of them included his ex-girlfriend. Lying on his back, he sighs and lets his phone drop on his chest as he rubs his face.
How has he managed to fuck things up so badly?
One thing is sure. He needs to talk to you and at least apologize for his shitty behavior. Yeah, he had a right to ask for space and you should've given it to him. He also realizes what a great friend you are and he would do the same thing for you. All of you in the group can be a little pushy sometimes, but there are no bad intentions ever. But he shouldn't have lashed out at you for talking to Namjoon.
He just found out the most painful news and sensitive as he got, he saw you having an amazing time which for some reason only irritated him. It's not about you though. He knows it's the freaking sensitivity and vulnerability that he suddenly felt. But of course, none of this excuses him.
Maybe if he was your real boyfriend, he probably wouldn't appreciate his girlfriend giggling with some other guy though, no offense to Namjoon. Jungkook knows he's the most reliable and polite guy here. He would never get involved in another relationship, not mentioning when his friend is involved.
With the never ending thoughts and frustration, the tent suddenly feels suffocating and he sits up abruptly. Taking his phone with him to get himself some kind of light, he gets out of his sleeping bag and puts his shoes on. He makes sure to be quiet as much as possible, tossing a look across his shoulder on his way out to check on you. You haven't moved, still sleeping deeply and that's his clue to fully get out of the tent.
The surrounding is dark and quiet, the complete opposite of how it was just two hours ago. He's not sure what to do now that he's outside. Should he take a walk? It's not exactly safe, not that he's scared but he could imagine what would be everyone's reaction if they found out. Including yours. God, you would scold the fuck out of him. Maybe you should. That's what he deserves anyway.
Sighing, he makes it to the fireplace where the fire has been already extinguished. The cold breeze touches his cheeks but he doesn't care. He enjoys the quietness and looks up at the night sky. What a sight.
He's not sure when was the last time he's seen so many stars decorating the dark sky. If only his phone could capture the beautiness of it. Maybe his camera could but it's in the tent and he wouldn't want to risk waking you any further. He's still not sure how to talk to you and you do tend to get annoyed when someone wakes you up.
It's almost funny how he's suddenly timid about your reaction. Well, he knows he fucked up so there's that.
"Holy shit!"
Someone curses in a hushed tone and Jungkook turns abruptly, turning on the flashlight exposing Namjoon's sleepy and scrunched up face.
"What are you doing here so late?" Namjoon whispers, getting closer to Jungkook as he tries not to stumble. Jungkook lights up at the ground to help him until he gets to him.
He doesn't want to attract any more insects, so he turns off the flashlight and puts the phone into his sweatpants. "I could ask you the same thing."
Namjoon remains silent for a second and even in this stupid darkness, he feels his eyes on him. "Just went to the toilet."
Jungkook grins amusingly, "Toilet?"
They're in the middle of a forest, no one in the middle of the night is going to the main building that's further away for a toilet. Namjoon's cheeks and neck reddens.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeah." Jungkook chuckles, looking at the sky again.
"Listen... about earlier. I hope you know I wouldn't–interfere or mow another man's lawn. That's not who I am." Namjoon speaks up after a while, though Jungkook's eyes stay attached to the stars.
What has the universe prepared for him?
Also... mow another man's lawn? Jungkook snorts at the term.
"We just talked, I swear." He quickly adds. "You know I don't get involved in anyone's business, I respect everyone's privacy. But Y/N came back quite sad and it was hard not to notice you two–I guess I just hope you guys didn't fight because of me. I will keep my distance from now on, I swear. Besides, I have a girlfriend."
"What? You have a girlfriend?" Jungkook frowns in confusion, looking at Namjoon who frowns back.
"You didn't know? I thought you did."
"No. Since when?" Jungkook questions, hearing this news for the first time. Today is about news for him, he guesses.
"For a while. Wait, I talked to you about her before."
Jungkook's frown deepens until a realization hits him and he lets out a soft Ah. "Oh, I totally forgot about that. Is it the same one? I mean, wow, sorry."
"Yeah, it's the same one." Namjoon chuckles. "But that's beside the point now. I don't mean to cause any harm."
"Joon," Jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyebrow for a second. "You're fine. It's–I'm the idiot here. You've done nothing wrong." he assures him as Namjoon cocks his head to the side.
As usual, he doesn't ask any further questions even though he knows more than he lets on. In the end, everyone could notice him and Kiko separating themselves from the group and disappearing from them. But Namjoon doesn't question him nor sticks his nose into something that doesn't include him. He guesses that's what you two possibly argued about. The only thing he knows is that you two talked and he could see you two not looking happy. And then you came back and you were kind of gloomy, even though you tried to act as if everything's fine.
"Do you and your girlfriend, sorry what was her name?"
Namjoon snorts, "Maya."
"Right... Do you and Maya argue sometimes?"
"We actually don't." Namjoon responds with a smile.
"Well, great." Jungkook mutters. Good for them.
"At least it's nothing major. But if we do manage to go through some rough path, the important thing is that we discuss it and when one of us is wrong, or both of us, we apologize."
It sounds easy but Namjoon doesn't know that you and him aren't a real couple. Everything is a big facade. It's not right to compare you two to Namjoon and his girlfriend. Jungkook knows how the unpleasant conversation between you two started and what caused it. It wasn't a couple's fight though.
His previous relationship was pretty harmonic. He can't really pinpoint any big moments where he and Kiko fought.
"I'm planning to talk to her tomorrow. I messed up."
Namjoon stays silent, just simply accompanying Jungkook to his lonely thoughts before he squeezes his shoulder in assurance. "You're not a bad guy, Kook. Y/N knows that."
Jungkook gives him a small nod, sighing at the stars.
"Woah, look at the stars!" Namjoon gasps, causing Jungkook to snort. He only noticed now?
He keeps any amused remarks to himself though, gaping at the stars once again.
"I'm going back to sleep. It's chilly out here, you shouldn't stay here for too long."
The corner of Jungkook's lips twist up. "Don't worry. I'm going too."
With that, they go to their separate tents as Jungkook joins you in your tent. He checks on you again, seeing that you have slightly changed your sleeping position as you're now facing Jungkook. Your lips are pouty and you cuddle to your fists again, shifting on your spot a little.
Are you cold?
Jungkook wonders before he slowly reaches to your face as he gently touches your cheek and forehead with the back of his hand. You're not cold to touch but you're not exactly warm either.
I'm sorry, he mentally thinks as he stares at your sleeping figure. Not wanting to feel like a creep, he gets into his sleeping bag and scoots closer to you. You don't budge, though you suddenly let out a soft sigh that makes Jungkook chuckle silently.
He's practically glued to your side but still leaving enough space for you to move, in case you wake up. He only does that because he thinks you're slightly cold and when you inch closer to him, your face almost touching his chest, he wonders if you're going to wake up later on and kick him in the balls for getting close to you.
However, he still keeps his distance as much as he knows the true warmth would bring you if he cuddled up to you. He doesn't think it's appropriate at the moment, his own guilt keeping him from doing that. Not until you two talk again or well, not until he apologizes is more appropriately said.
His eyes start to feel heavy after a while, knowing he's going to wake up much later than he was planning. He falls asleep shortly after, your bodies being close until a natural need of changing position separates you and his kind gesture never gets noticed.
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