If they never went to sleep then morning would never come. They could pretend that this was it, forever. The two of them together in a warm bed, with the soft light of the lamp on the nightstand giving everything an ethereal glow.
Charlie and Floyd had their arms wrapped snugly around each other and their legs tangled together. They'd been talking for hours and still it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. They could have had a thousand years more and it still wouldn't have been enough.
"Tell me about," Charlie requested in a whisper, as was the way of their little game, "the most embarrassing thing you ever did."
Floyd smiled. "When I was fifteen I got dared by my buddies to run across town completely naked. I ran into my grandma on my way back."
Charlie laughed. "What did she say?"
"Oh, she was not impressed," he replied, grinning. "Gave me all kinds of hell for it, as you can probably imagine. I couldn't look her in the eye anytime I saw her after that." He watched Charlie for a moment, smiling and silent, before saying, "Tell me about your favourite Christmas present."
"When I was sixteen my parents gave me my locket," she said.
His eyes flickered down to look at it.
"I put in the picture of my parents on their wedding day as soon as I got the chance and left the other side blank ready for you."
He laughed softly. "For me?"
"For the love of my life," she explained. "When a man came along and made a place for himself in my real heart then I'd know he deserved a place in my locket. You took care of that for me, though, so thank you."
Floyd grinned. "You're welcome."
"Tell me about your first day of boot camp," Charlie requested next.
"God, where do I start?" Floyd laughed and went on to tell her all about not just his first day but a lot of what boot camp had been like. He told her of the company's first commanding officer, Sobel, who the NCOs had mutinied against in Aldbourne because he was so inept. Floyd told her of Mount Currahee, and how they'd had to run the three miles up and three miles down in full pack in the boiling heat, and how on Friday nights, while every other company was out in town on weekend passes, Easy would walk for miles on end in the pitch dark and not be allowed to drink from their canteens. But, in amongst all of the intense training and horrible leadership, Floyd told her of all of his favourite memories from back then, too; pillow fights and drinking competitions and the time Duckie Wells bet Skinny Sisk he could outdrink Bill Guarnere with milk. And Floyd smiled so fondly as he spoke, his eyes faraway as his mind went to a different place, that Charlie felt herself fall even more in love with him, at perhaps the worst moment. Now was the time to start detaching herself so that she'd have something of her heart left to take with her in the morning when she had to leave for Germany, but Floyd seemed to have different ideas about that. He wouldn't be letting her leave with anything of her heart left at all. He would be keeping all of it.
"Tell me about your training," Floyd bid Charlie once he had finished regaling her with stories of boot camp back in the States.
Charlie smiled ruefully and reached out to push back a lock of hair which had fallen into his eyes. "Well, it was nothing like yours," she began.
Floyd laughed. "I bet."
Charlie let out her breath as she admitted, "It was lonely."
"Yeah?"
"Mh-hm," Charlie confirmed. "I didn't know Mabs or Boo or Autumn yet. I met Autumn on the ship coming to England, and Mabs and Boo at the train station in Aldbourne, since we all trained at different colleges. But I didn't have any friends back in training. All the other girls either seemed to all know each other already or else not have any interest in getting to know anyone. I tried to make friends a couple times but -" Her cheeks flamed as she recalled the embarrassment of it. "- nothing ever really stuck."
"Well, they're missing out," Floyd declared. He kissed Charlie's nose and smiled when she scrunched it up in response. "A person's gotta be dumb as a box of rocks to not wanna know you."
Charlie laughed. "I'm glad you think so." She simply looked at him for a moment, watched him smiling as he looked back at her, and felt her heart constrict. "And I'm glad to know you."
"And I'm glad that you're glad that you know me," Floyd replied with a smirk.
That smirk. That smile. It seemed to Charlie like the reason for living, now. How had she ever not been completely, desperately, hopelessly in love with him?
Thinking of the time before they'd been the way they were now should have made Charlie feel better about the fact they'd be returning to that way in just a few hours, but somehow it made her feel worse. She'd survived it back then because she hadn't known what it was like to be loved by him, and she also hadn't loved him the way she did now. But how was she supposed to continue with her life without him in it, knowing of all the joy he brought? How had they come so far only to end up right back where they started?
"You should sleep soon," Floyd said. Something about the way he said it, about the way he was looking at her, told her he knew exactly what she was thinking about. He knew her so well.
Charlie's heart clenched tightly once more. Fear and nerves and dread. She felt cold all over. "I don't want to sleep," Charlie told him. "I don't want to miss anything." I don't want to miss you for a second longer than I have to.
"It's alright," Floyd said, noticing her getting teary. He smiled softly, sadly, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Freckles," he whispered, his voice so quiet it broke.
"Floyd," Charlie replied, mustering a smile for him. She sniffled and pushed back the tears because it was always going to end this way, wasn't it? And hadn't she gotten her wish? She'd wanted to fall in love, experience what it was to be absolutely head over heels for someone at least once in her life, and wasn't it even more than she'd asked for that he'd loved her too? She had to hold onto that. Through all of it, at her ugliest and her most beautiful, he'd loved her - and even now, when they were so close to saying goodbye. How had she ever gotten lucky enough to be able to say that?
"Charlie," he whispered. He kept his hand in her hair, brushing it back even though none of it was in her face anymore. He was still smiling in that crooked, soft way she loved so much. That smile that belonged to her. "You are my favourite thing in the whole world. My favourite thing."
Then why are you letting me go? she thought.
"Every beautiful thing in my life is because of you," she said. She shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes once again. And, because she knew she'd never get another chance to tell him, she pressed on, "You have a smile like sunshine. And a laugh like the sound of Christmas bells. And eyes that feel like coming home." She reached up and tangled her fingers with his, both of their hands resting on her cheek. "The world feels like a better place because you exist in it."
His smile really was like sunshine, then. The brightest, most beautiful sunshine she'd ever seen. And when he kissed her it was soft, gentle, feather-light.
He leaned back and looked at her, still smiling, still beautiful, then kissed her again, harder this time.
She held onto him tight, keeping him there, not letting him leave her a second sooner than he had to.
I could die here, she thought. I could die here, in his arms, and not regret anything. The problem was only that he would. She'd been ready to set up a life with him, no matter how long she had to wait. She had been willing to do anything to stay with him forever. But now that they were being torn apart she knew it was too much to ask, that he wait for her for however long it took. They would be so far apart. They would be going home separately. How could she expect him to give her anything more than what he'd given her already?
But for the rest of her life she'd get to say that, once upon a time, in a glittering summer that felt like the truest, softest dream, she had been loved by Floyd Talbert, and what a thing that was to be able to say.
It must have been the early hours of the morning, somewhere around three or four, and though Charlie's eyelids drooped she pushed them up resolutely. She wanted to keep looking at him, keep talking to him. Pretend that they still had forever.
"You said you were going to marry me," Charlie whispered when she was too sleepy to realise what she was saying.
Floyd smiled, softly and sadly, and caressed her hair once more. While her eyes were closed he didn't have to worry she would notice what he was doing, so he took care to study every part of her face, every eyelash, every freckle, committing every detail to memory. Even if he got back to the States after the Pacific and found her married with children, he still wanted to remember her face, how beautiful she was, how angelic. He wanted to remember this moment, even if it felt like the hardest of his whole life.
"I would've," Floyd told her softly. "I want to."
"Let's go now," Charlie whispered. "Let's elope."
He smiled regretfully. She didn't know what she was saying. Her parents had written to her countless times since they'd been in Austria with names of eligible young men who were interested in her. He couldn't steal her life like that, not without giving her the choice. Right now she thought she wanted him, but he didn't want her to think it. He wanted her to know.
"Freckles," he whispered back, fond, devastated. "I love you so, so much."
"Floyd," she murmured, beginning to fall asleep. "I love you more than anything."
"It'll be alright," he assured her, and kept saying it even after he knew she'd fallen asleep. He wanted her to know it, even if she didn't feel it. He wanted to force himself to know it, too. "It'll be alright," he whispered, again and again and again. "It'll be hard in the beginning," he said, running his fingers lightly across her nose and cheeks, just barely touching her freckles. "But," he continued, so in love with her he couldn't stand it. The pain in his chest was unbearable. "Soon, or eventually, it'll all be alright."