When we became friends...
JULY - 2010
A week had passed. I'd gotten a few calls from my brother. He'd told me when he'd be flying in and he was actually really excited. As for me, I kept on with my community service. I'd helped out with Misty cooking some things. She mainly let me do the sandwiches while Lorenna just passed them out.
Every day since I'd met Gwen though, we'd sit down and talk. She was easy company and I liked taking my breaks and spending them with her for about ten minutes. She was fun and casual. Unlike anyone I've really met that's not my brother, but he gets annoying after a while. Gwen doesn't. She's grown on me. The way I never thought anyone would. Misty often gave us looks, like she predicted we'd be a couple soon, which I highly doubted.
I had grown to like Misty and Lorenna as well. When Jeann had come to check on me, she'd glare at me and ask Misty and Lorenna if I was behaving; which they always said yes to. I was actually really good and nice to them. With Jeann, I'd easily give her a dirty look and mock her, which resulted in her complaining to my dad who mainly just scolded me. He cared more about my service than my attitude toward the cranky front desk lady.
Today, I was actually really tired. My dad dropped me off when it was about breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and nodded to some of the men and women who helped in the cafeteria that I didn't know. They nodded back and I proceeded to stand by Misty who instructed me to clean the floors today. They apparently finished most of the wrapping and stuff. People had already left after they'd grabbed their food. Only a few were in here now. I grasped a mop and wiped the floor.
When I finished, I went back into the kitchen. Misty and Lorenna had me help prepare some lunch foods. When lunch did roll around, like always, I had waited for Gwen. She came down at the time I learned to memorize. 11:25. It was always a minute before, on the dot, or a minute after. I wondered why. It didn't matter much though, did it?
"Hey, Kyle!" she exclaimed as she grasped a turkey sandwich.
I smiled. "Hey."
She nudged her head to the usual table we sit at. I waved to Misty notifying to her that I was taking my usual break with Gwen. She smiled and nodded. I hurriedly left behind the counter and strolled towards Gwen. She'd already sat down and started eating her sandwich.
"So, how is it today?" she asked, her mouth half full as she modestly covered it with her hand.
I shrugged. "Alright, I guess. What about you?" I set both my elbows on the table and folded my arms.
"Well," she started, her finger touching her bottom lip as she glanced at her water bottle. She set one elbow on the table and swallowed. "We found out when I'm going to start my chemotherapy."
"Really?"
She nodded.
"W-when?" I asked, unsure of why I stuttered.
"September," she replied quietly.
"Are you scared?" I fiddled with my fingers nervously.
She didn't make eye contact and just sat there, thinking for a moment.
"I don't think I'm scared... as I am nervous..."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"Well, if you think about it, I'm not scared that I'm doing it. I'm just nervous about what people will think of me, how they'll look at me. I'm not scared of what chemo will do to me. I'm nervous about what I'll look like."
"No one's going to judge you based on your appearance, Gwen. They'll know you have cancer." I said.
"That's the thing. They'll know." She rubbed her forehead, obviously frustrated. Then I suddenly noticed she was on the verge of tears. "I don't want them to know. And I'm going to look ugly."
I had the instinct to go towards her and hug her. So that's what I did. I slowly made my way around the table, then kneeled next to her left side and urged her to look at me. She hesitantly did so.
"You're not going to be ugly, okay? No matter what, you're never going to look ugly. And chemo's good for you. People will know that you're strong enough to do it. They'll think of you as... a fighter."
She let a tear fall and quickly swiped it away.
"It's going to be good, okay?"
She looked away. I got up and hugged her. It wasn't awkward like I thought it'd be. She actually hugged me back. I never hugged anyone like this. I never even hugged a girl besides my mom I don't think. It was nice.
"Can you help me through this? There's not many people that I have that are around." I could hear the scared tone in her voice. She didn't want to hear me say no. I wasn't going to say that anyway.
"Yeah." I answered.
It was quiet for a moment, until she hugged me tighter. The question made me feel like she had no one to lean on and I was the only one here. That was a lot of pressure. I wasn't sure if I was going to be enough for her.
"Thanks, Kyle." She sighed while resting her head on my shoulder.
I didn't answer. I just stayed quiet. I honestly didn't want this moment to end for some strangely odd reason. But it did. After about ten minutes, she left back to her room.
Once I got back to the kitchen area, I knew Misty would interrogate me, so I kept my distance from her. I wasn't really up for her chirpy love-struck attitude for me. It got quite annoying and as much as I hate to say it, she was starting to become more correct every time I'd see Gwen.
I didn't want to think about it. I wasn't really fond about this whole cancer deal. So if Gwen did chemotherapy, wouldn't she get sicker? She probably wouldn't be able to come down here anymore and she'd need some people to take her her food.
Then I started to think about worse things.
I've seen those movies where the girls or guys get cancer and stuff and they end up dying after doing chemo. Does that mean she'll die? No. That can't happen. She's too good to die. The world needs more people like her. That won't happen to her. I know it won't. She's strong. She'd fight. I know she would.
Later, around dinner time, Lorenna asked me to send some trays to some rooms. I'd never done this before. I was actually quite nervous and confused. I was nervous because I didn't want to get sick or anything. I was confused because she never ordered me to do this.
"There aren't many people here today. Heidi and some other staff usually help out but some called in. I need to send these." Misty said after I had asked her.
"But what if I get sick or something?" I questioned, wide-eyed.
"You won't, Kyle. You aren't serving to the severe patients, only the non-contagious patients. Now hurry, you don't want them to starve to death," she said, pushing me. I wanted to say 'no pun intended' but decided against it, knowing I'd receive annoyed looks.
"Aren't nurses supposed to do this?" I mumbled.
I hurried to the floors she'd told me. They were the lowest levels so I wasn't rushing much. I entered one room with a man who was staring at the TV. He looked absolutely miserable. He was missing one leg and his left hand. I slowly walked in and he restlessly turned to me, staring curiously as I awkwardly made my way toward his rolling table tray.
"Why isn't Tiana giving me my food?" he demanded.
"I-I don't... know... some of the- uh... staff didn't come in today..." I stuttered. He kind of freaked me out with the way he looked at me.
He struggled to reach over to the tray that I'd set on the rolling table.
"Oh." I muttered, pushing the table closer to him.
"Thanks, kid." His voice was kinder than when he first talked to me. I wonder what happened to him.
I nodded then turned to leave. He didn't say anything else to me as I hurried back to the cafeteria. I felt kind of sympathetic, a feeling I really never witnessed. I actually wanted to help him more, make sure he was okay, and be certain that he had whatever whenever he needed it. I've never really felt this way before for anyone.
I sent a few more deliveries and saw other sickly people. Some were sleeping whilst others were staring at the TV. There were even some patients that weren't doing anything. They'd stare at the wall and mutter a 'thank-you.' I felt extremely terrible for every one of them. Although, none had given me the impact of the little girl's room I had entered.
I assumed she had a non-contagious disease but it seemed pretty serious. She had another person in the room which I assumed to be her mother. She was sleeping and the girl was just playing with some dolls. I thought she was maybe in the ages of six to eight.
Once I'd given her the food for the night, she made a sour face. I smiled at her. She returned it, but didn't dare touch the food that was set on the tray for her benefit.
"Thank you!" She waved as I turned to leave.
"You're welcome," I answered, returning the gesture back to her.
She looked back to the two Barbies she held in her hands and continued playing, not giving the food a second look. I'd wished I could go to McDonald's or something and buy her a meal she'd actually want to eat instead of the junk they serve here.
I mean, the rest of the cafeteria staff do try and make the food appetizing, but there's so much food to make, it's hard to try and perfect each and every dish. And then there are so many patients... It's a difficult task to provide for all these people.
"Oh, Kyle! Did you serve them all?" Lorenna questioned as I'd entered the kitchen quietly.
I nodded.
"Well, your father should be here soon, I guess. So you could go out to the parking lot. Misty, Patty and I will clean the rest of this up." She looked around the kitchen.
"Sure?" I looked around also; there wasn't much to really do except for wash some of the tables, dishes, and trays.
"Of course, sweetie. Go ahead." She ushered me out of the kitchen area.
I told her and the rest goodbye, and then strolled out of the doors to meet my dad. When I was walking passed the front desk, I'd noticed Jeann sitting with her glasses pushed down to the tip of her nose. She was studying something held in her hands, her eyes squinted.
"Goodnight, Jeann," I smirked, knowing she hates it when I talk to her.
She grunted in response, not taking her eyes off it's occupied position.
I chuckled and the automatic doors opened. The night sky was a dark shade of navy blue, letting a million stars light the sky. My dad's car was parked against the curb. He was scrolling on his phone, probably reading an email or something. I opened the passenger door and swiftly took a seat.
"Good day?" he asked.
He could honestly care less about my day from the tone of his voice.
"Sucked," I mumbled.
He looked up at the road as he heard the sound of my seat belt being secured and buckled. He put his left hand at the top of the wheel while his right still held his cell phone.
"Well, that's the point," he sighed.
He didn't look at me, nor did I look at him. I stared out the window and watched as we passed the buildings at a rather slow speed. I started to think about that girl again. Why she was there? How long she's been there? Then I started to think about Gwen. Is that how she was?
She had taken me to a whole new level today; how vulnerable she was when she thought she would look ugly. How could she think something so stupid? I didn't understand it. At all. She was beautiful and it kind of scared me to think that. I'd never thought about a girl like that. I mean, I've thought about some girls being hot, but there was something about Gwen that didn't let the word 'hot' be appropriate for her. It didn't fit her at all. Maybe it was her innocent personality.
"Kyle, hurry up, dinner's ready." my dad's voice was muffled from the glass between us.
I didn't notice his car door shut, nor did I notice that we were parked at my house. He knocked on my door window again and I suddenly jolted up. He nudged his head to the front door. I sighed and got out of the car.
Once I'd entered the house, my parents were already sitting down at the table. I closed the door and went to sit at my usual spot, left from my mom, right from Kory's usual spot, and across from my dad.
"Hurry, Kyle. Your food is probably cold now," Mom warned.
I didn't answer, just grabbed my fork and stabbed it into the lasagna. Like always, it tasted really good, just like all of my mom's other dishes. She's always been an extraordinary cook, but then again, whose mom isn't? I guess my mom has an advantage though. She works as a chef at a restaurant she started.
"How was the service today, sweetie?" she asked. I assumed it was by habit now because that's obviously the only way she starts conversation since there is none.
I shrugged, not taking a glance at her.
She dropped her arm and stared at me, annoyed of my lack of conversation. Then, her face lifted. She brought her hand back to her mouth and engulfed another piece of lasagna.
"What about that girl? Gwen, is it?"
I was about to eat another piece, but my hand stopped and I looked directly in front of me, catching the face of my father. My mouth was completely open. My father's eyes looked up from his fork and stared at me, waiting for me to reply. My mom's smile was easily noticed from all of us.
"What?" I questioned, lowering the fork a bit, looking at her and turning my head to her slightly.
"Oh, c'mon Kyle. I met Misty and she's given me updates on how you've been behaving. She mentioned that you've befriended a girl named Gwen."
I completely turned my gaze to my mom. Her happiness illuminated the room. Why was she asking me this? In such an odd attitude?
"Oh."
"Well?" she urged on.
I looked down at the piece of my lasagna. I dropped my fork and a small clattered noise echoed from the contact of glass against silver.
"She's all right"
"All right? Misty said that you and her talk to each other every day, when it's lunch time." My mom blinked, confused from my answer.
I shrugged. "Yeah."
"Well? What do you guys talk about? What characteristics do you two share?"
"She's just a girl, Mom."
She didn't say anything for a while. I noticed my dad lift his glass of water and take an awkward sip. My mom squirmed in her chair and folded her hands in her lap.
"Well, I hope I get to meet her-"
"Julianna, he's obviously uncomfortable," my dad budged in.
I silently thanked him for the interruption. My mom meeting Gwen? That would be the ultimate embarrassment. I could almost see them getting along. Besides, Gwen might pass away. What's the point in meeting someone you'll miss and mourn over when you can keep your distance and not get attached?
I guess I shouldn't be saying that. I'm attached now. I'm using my words against myself.
My mom huffed and brought her right hand back up to the table, lifting her fork and stabbing it into a piece of meat. "I'm just glad he's finally made a friend."
Yeah. A friend.
...
A/N
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Picture of Gwen on the side