The typical Anime Type Beach Episode.
Surprise! I am back with a new chapter a bit early!
The egg sandwich that Xie Lian had pulled out from his little ferret lunch box (with white ears, and face on the lid and the cutlery holder as the tail) was interesting, in an artistic manner. The bread was charcoal black, and was as stiff as cardboard, and so sharp that it cut the insides of Hua Cheng's mouth as he chewed. The egg inside was fluffy but was greyish yellow in colour, and had a slight watery taste on his tongue. The sauce? The jam probably... was exceedingly thick and violet.
"San Lang, you promised..." Xie Lian said, threateningly.
Hua Cheng's face is tight as he tries hard to swallow back.
"You promised you won't laugh, and you are laughing." Xie Lian was pouting now.
But Hua Cheng could not help it. His shoulders shook and pressed his fist to his lips to physically press it down. He finished the first piece quickly, he was really hungry, only having breakfast early that morning. He swallowed and said:
"Gege. Normal people have the dilemma of using a fork or chopsticks to beat eggs. But beating eggs in hand to hand combat!" Hua Cheng roared in laughter.
"San Lang, I was just seven years old! To beat means to physically beat...that's what I thought back then" Xie Lian pouted further, his brows drawn as he huffed. Hua Cheng could give up anything just to kiss that sweet pout of his gege.
"Still! Imagine boxing with eggs." Hua Cheng chuckled and picked up the second piece of sandwich, much to Xie Lian's surprise. Hua Cheng was fine after having his chocolate. And right now, he was very much enjoying the sandwiches Xie Lian had prepared, hoping his San Lang would like them.
"Gege, did you mix chilli jam with blueberry jam?" Hua Cheng asked, chewing thoroughly.
"Yes! I thought you might like the hot sweet taste." Xie Lian said, smiling nervously, scratching his nose.
"Like? I love it, gege. You should cook more."
"Really, you think so?"
"En."
Just then an announcement sounded,
'Puqi station up next. Passengers are requested to-'
"San Lang, let's go!" Xie Lian exclaimed, excitedly. He pushed the lid of the now empty box down and put the container into his bag and both of them got up to move towards the glass doors. When the metro entered the station, it slowed down and the doors opened, and a pleasant humid air hit their faces in a blast. The station was calm and quiet-even if you whisper, you can hear it clearly. The sun was bright and warm, the breeze was pleasant and the rustling of palm leaves greeted their ears.
The little town was exactly what Hua Cheng would imagine a settlement from the Colonial Rule - the area was a mixture of traditional and foreign cultures, giving off an offbeat but nonetheless amazing holiday vibe. They decided upon renting a single bicycle, and soon, with Hua Cheng on the paddles, Xie Lian on the rack behind him, they zoomed steadily through the town, following the strong salty sea breeze. Pretty, picturesque little cottages, with hay and bicked sloped roofs, were arranged on the crooked line that the bricked path followed, the crossings were a bit off angle and there were hardly any signals. The town was on the slope of the gently folded hills which used to be mistily visible from Hua Cheng's bedroom in The Hua Residence. So far away, so magical - it used to stir up fantasies in the young child.
Up they cycled and down they rolled. On one such downhill route, Hua Cheng completely lifted his feet off the paddles and let the cycle roll down with no restraint, making Xie Lian clutch his shoulder in a death grip.
"WO-HOOOOOOOOOO"
"SAAAAN- LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG"
They both screamed in joy and adrenaline rush.
The downhill path led them through a lively market area. There were shedded stalls of vegetables, fruits, meat, eggs and fish. Stray chickens pluckered about on the already crowded pavement, and pecked at the overflown seeds under the grain selling stall. Several shopkeepers kept calling out the best deals, lifting the produce to show off its quality to their little crowds of interested customers. Housewives and maids bargained skillfully for an even better price, pointing out minimal flaws in the otherwise perfect products on display. Children playing around with tires or marbles on the pavement,accompanied by excitedly barking dogs, quickly moved aside when the bicycle passed through at thunderous speed. Hua Cheng did not even bother ringing the shrill bell, so Xie Lian leaned forward and pressed down the button repeatedly like processed, to warn the crowd.
Hua Cheng felt giddy, but in a good sense. No, it was not because he was with Xie Lian (it was). Whatever fear, insecurity, uncertainty always gripped his heart has decipatted. His mind was clear, his heart afloat. The cool breeze felt refreshing as it caressed his cheeks and ran through his hair, ruffling it thoroughly. Surprisingly, this day, Hua Cheng did not have any bit of anxiety, clouding his mood.
Hua Cheng does not know why.
Hua Cheng does not want to know why.
Previously, even when Hua Cheng used to be with Xie Lian, there were times he felt anxious.
Anxious of crossing an invisible line and making Xie Lian move away from him.
Anxious that one day Xie Lian will tell him he does not need therapy anymore.
That he is all good to go.
Hua Cheng does not want to be all good to go, truth to be told. He wishes to have a vulnerability, or many of them which he would only show to that one person he adores, who will hold him through his worst and also the best. He wants to laugh openly with someone, without feeling self conscious. He wants to cry aloud in front of someone without feeling he is doing something he is not supposed to. He wants to be angry for someone's sake, but not on the verge of murder. He wants to feel sad for someone, but not to the level of self harm. He wants to share everything he has got with that someone. He wants to be someone's chamber of secrets too.
And that someone was Xie Lian.
No matter how selfish the declaration sounded, Hua Cheng could not change his mind. He could only wish his therapy to go on and on, even after he is all well. Because, Hua Cheng is sceptical of the world. He could hardly explain Yin Yu, his oldest friend, his problems, and he was sure he could also not be with other people, apart from Xie Lian. He is afraid... maybe he is obsessed with his psych.
No, Hua Cheng had thought, back when this idea came to his mind. He honestly does not think about Xie Lian all day. He can concentrate very well in his work, though there are random times he suddenly misses Xie Lian a lot, but can hold himself back from texting him more than necessary. He feels happy at the mere thought of Xie Lian. At the thought of Xie Lian smiling at him or at the ring he always wears.
Hua Cheng feels happy from within.
But right now, none of the wishes are on his mind.
Hua Cheng takes in the sounds of seagulls screaming, the faint roar of the waves crashing against boulders and of course, Xie Lian giggling behind him, his sun hat dangling around his neck, as he had raised both hands up against his ears, enjoying the weird sense of freedom this little town offers for free.
Hua Cheng enjoys it too.
The path ended as abruptly as it had started. The duo dismounted and parked their cycle by a wall. The way had apparently disappeared into a forest of thin wanton trees on sand. The sound of the waves was loud, no doubt that the sea was just across, and Hua Cheng could taste the salt in the air around them. The breeze was now a strong wind more like a gale, pressing the front of their attires firmly against their bodies whereas the back fluttered.
Xie Lian firmly placed one hand down on his hat to hold it down in place, and gently took Hua Cheng's hand. The walk towards the shore was slow, up against the wind, on the soft dry sand and through the thin trunks of wanton trees, branches full of thin grey-green needles like leaves, bent gracefully along the drift.
Hua Cheng thought he might go deaf- the waves were just so noisy, like a series of roars and splashes, noisier than E-Ming screaming for food or whenever he throws a tantrum. When they finally stepped out on the clear beach, there was a salty spray all over his face and clothes. The sun was harsh and the glistening reflection made it no better, but Hua Cheng liked it. He liked the sting in his eye, when he had to raise his free hand over his face, to keep the light from blinding him. He liked the way the bright yellow hue filtered through the gap of his fingers. He decided he would paint this picture soon.
When Xie Lian let go of his hand, Hua Cheng walked forward a few more steps, slightly enchanted, maybe more mesmerised. He gently kicked his shoes off, noting the warm sand when his bare feet dug into it. Looking around, there was no one else on the beach other than themselves and little red crabs who scurried away underneath the wet sand as soon as they saw the human couple. Maybe because it was off season - not exactly a holiday week. Hua Cheng liked that even better. The privacy was much appreciated.
He looked back and almost choked.
"Gege, what are you doing?"
For Xie Lian was stripping. His shirt was gone, his bag was puddled by his feet and he was climbing out of his shorts, with tight white swimming boxers already underneath. Xie Lian grinned at him,
"It's a beach, San Lang. Come on. Don't be shy."
Yes, Hua Cheng also had his swimming boxers under his pants but -
"Gege, look away please." he said, pushing Xie Lian around gently. Xie Lian's skin was rosy pink under the assault of the sunshine but it felt cool under Hua Cheng's touch. He quickly took off his clothes.
"I hope you used sunscreen..." Xie Lian asked, eyes closed, back facing him, just as his word.
"Yes, I did." Hua Cheng nodded as he straightened his boxers a bit. He had finished off the entire bottle of SPF 100 sunscreen and had covered every inch of the exposed skin, back at home, in the washroom with E-Ming prowling around, playing with his slippers. If he hasn't, his pale milky white skin would have been a goner by now.
"Good. Now come." Xie Lian walked into the receding wave foams and further into the water, leaving behind his footsteps. Hua Cheng followed, deliberately stepping right next to those steps, after he folded his clothes and stuffed them in his bag. He had to debate whether to pull his eye patch off.
He had yanked it off.
"San Lang, sit down." Xie Lian looked into him intently. He had noticed the eyepatch was no more, but he did not comment. The look in his eyes and his widened smile was enough to tell Hua Cheng:
'You are beautiful just as you are.'
Hua Cheng sat down in the water obediently. When the next wave crashed in, the cold water rose up to Hua Cheng's navel. From where he sat, it felt as if he was sitting cross legged in the middle of the ocean, like the Sea God himself. Another wave, bigger than the previous one, hit him and almost came up to his chest, before receding again. Xie Lian stood behind Hua Cheng, and placed his two hands on Hua Cheng's bare shoulder for a moment as if to calm Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian, then pointed forward, towards the faint line bridging the two vast horizons, the sky and the ocean. The red glass ring on his left hand's third finger glinted against the light.
"San Lang, do you see that?" He asked in a soft voice.
"I do," Hua Cheng replied similarly.
"What do you see?" Xie Lian kept that hand on Hua Cheng's head, patting him slightly.
"The line." Hua Cheng said, and tried looking up at Xie Lian, but his head and shoulder were kept in place quite efficiently.
"Does San Lang know what there is?"
"No..."
"As per what my mother says, there is magic where the sky meets the sea. An utopia, a land of dreams coming true. You just need to get there, and the rest will be as good as being in heaven."
"Is that possible?"
"Try reaching there, and you will realise that you have ended up in the exact same place where you had started. But! You have gained much more experience, wisdom, knowledge, and strength. In other words, you have grown. That's the magic."
"So, practically speaking, we move about in cycles."
"Yes."
"But each cycle is different, even if the path is the same."
"Yes."
"Because, life is like the ocean."
"I will consider it that way."
"Or maybe, we are like the sea. Not everyone, a few of us, like you and me."
"And," Xie Lian prompted, intrigued on how Hua Cheng was thinking.
"And... the sea does not like to be restrained. And it's always on the move, no matter how hard things are. I am not making any sense, am I?" Hua Cheng realised he had just been rambling on.
"San Lang is talking in a perfect sense." Xie Lian patted his head.
"Gege, this... this makes me feel so small, and insignificant. Like I don't matter at all. We don't matter at all. Like-"
"-a drop in the ocean." Xie Lian finished his sentence, helping him out of his loss of proper vocabulary at the moment.
"En." Hua Cheng tried tilting his head up, and when he could, he threw his head back to look at Xie Lian, who was already looking at his hair.
"Are we not? Just a single person in billions." Xie Lian smiled at Hua Cheng, but did not pull back. For a few moments, only the call of birds, roar of waves and howl of the winds were heard.
Close, close, impossibly close their faces were. Noses and ears were a bit red and eyes were locked. Xie Lian brushed aside a stray lock of hair from Hua Cheng's forehead and the hand was gently caught.
"We are." Hua Cheng whispered.
"We are just single species, and like many other species, we will soon cease to exist. In other words, we matter as a whole, not really individually. It is the work of the so-called society that we feel like we are useless if we fail. That we need to achieve, and go higher and higher - till you forget who you are." Xie Lian slowly broke eye contact and gazed forward towards that line where the sky meets the sea, his eyes shining amber.
"And you should never forget that who you are is not given by the state of you."
Xie Lian removed his hands and Hua Cheng got up.
"Let's have fun," Xie Lian said, bouncing towards the shore. Hua Cheng watched him walk back and then chase after a receding wave, his toes just a breath away from the foamy edge. When another wave crashed in, he trotted backwards, laughing aloud. It was like he was playing a game.
"My mother had taught me this game. Playing Chase with the ocean. San Lang... SAN LANG!" he squealed shrilly as Hua Cheng just walked up to him, picked him up by tucking him under his arm by the waist and placidly dropped him into the water. But Xie Lian did not go down without a fight, he wrapped his arms around Hua Cheng's shoulders and soon, they were splashing and tumbling in the shallow part of the great waters like hippos, caked in salt and sand, going under the clear blue waves to see who can hold their breaths longer, bobbing up gasping for for air, choking sillily on the salty sea water - just making a mess of themselves, laughing, and wheezing.
Only when they were exhausted and every bit of their skin was dripping wet, they came back on the shore and laid on their backs like starfish. Though, after a while Xie Lian turned around and laid on his stomach. The sun had gone over to the right, but the warmth was comfortable.
"Let's build a sand castle." Hua Cheng suggested. His lips tasted like salt, and he felt a bit dirty, having grains of sand clinging on to him, still it felt great. To be this honest with himself, to truly have fun and to be with somebody who feels the same.
"Umm, I was thinking we could make sand statues of each other." Xie Lian mused, pulling his face up from the sand.
"Oh! Gege is challenging me in my own field of expertise!" Hua Cheng said getting up. Xie Lian got up too, to brush off the sand from his chest.
"San Lang. I am not challenging you." He said, with a side-long glance.
Xie Lian moved towards the wetter sand and started making a sandman. Hua Cheng walked around a bit, and picked up two rocks. Grinding one against the other he sharpened them and started working on the sand. Just like he works with clay, he shaped the sand, repeatedly glancing back at Xie Lian to capture the delicate contours and curves of his body. He heard Xie Lian hum to himself as he collected sticks. But Hua Cheng concentrated - the rock moved like a sculpting knife on the sand as he carved out the face, the eyes, the nose... and he realised sand was much more forgiving than the clay was.
By the time Hua Cheng turned back, Xie Lian was trying his best to hide his work.
"San Lang, don't look!" He exclaimed, for Xie Lian was able to add an eye patch, a smile and googly eye to his sandman ' San Lang :) ' carved at its foot, whereas Hua Cheng had built a sand statue looking almost like Xie Lian in a drape of robes, sitting in lotus stance, a sincere smile on his face (though Hua Cheng himself was not really satisfied with it).
"Gege, am I that cute?" Hua Cheng teased peeking above Xie Lian's head quite effortlessly.
"San Lang..." Xie Lian groaned and hid his face.
"Yes gege?" Hua Cheng smiled cheekily.
"Your sculpting is so good." Xie Lian said.
"Gege thinks so?" Hua Cheng cocked his head to the side
"I do."
"But gege, what do we do with these now?" They could not really carry it home could they?
"Let's leave them here. Oh!" Xie Lian exclaimed. Wondering what caught Xie Lian's eye, Hua Cheng looked down at the receding wave and saw a big white shell. Curious, he picked it up and examined it. It was clear that the animal residing there was not there anymore. Hua Cheng was about to offer it to Xie Lian but Xie Lian spoke first:
"Since it is San Lang's first time at a beach, he should take it back."
And who was he to argue?
So Hua Cheng placed it carefully in his bag. Xie Lian suggested they should not leave before the sunset and they both got cleaned and put their clothes on again. A bittersweetness spread across Hua Cheng's chest as they waited patiently for the sun to dip.
The sunset...
Hua Cheng knew endings could also be beautiful.
But... the sight was beyond beautiful. The sun was red, a burning red, the sky gradiented outwards from a bright crimson to violet above at the twinkling stars. The vermilion bled into the water, overwhelming the blue, making it look like a bloodbath from war, but the scene did not make one uneasy. It just took away one's breath. The foam was pink now, and so was Xie Lian's cheek. Hua Cheng could feel the wind change and the water line was much closer, than it was in the afternoon, than it should be according to the tides. The crabs were gone now. The sky behind them was ominously dark, clouds rumbling.
"We should return now, San Lang." Xie Lian whispered. Hua Cheng sighed.
He did not wish to go back, just yet. He did not like the bitter feeling of staying away from Xie Lian. It was an infatuation, a little crush - he tried to reason with himself. But, the heart wants what it wants and right now, he wants to stand there, arm and hand pressed against Xie Lian's, their rings brushing and clicking against each other, as they bask in the approaching twilight.
But the tide was rising, the clouds were near and the time was flowing.
Making sure no one remains static.
Rooted.
On the way back, Hua Cheng cycled back too slow, as if wanting to miss their metro. Hua Cheng was glad that Xie Lian did not hurry either. Xie Lian also seemed hesitant to go back. Right... It might be raining in the city. Depressing.
The lamp-lit path was quiet now, the market closed, and warm lights pressed against the closed windows of the cottages.
Hua Cheng wanted to stay.
They got on right on time when the gates were closing, and they managed to hope on the very last carrier.
The duo did not talk much on their return. Xie Lian's shirt looked a bit wrinkled up than usual and his eyes remained closed, as if meditating. Hua Cheng did not disturb him for now. He stared out of the nearest window, feeling the uncomfortable friction of the eyepatch against his red eye.They had to stand this time, it was quite crowded. Large drops of water poured down in sheets against the windows, when they neared their station.
"We should go there again." Hua Cheng said when it was announced that the next station was theirs.
"We must." Xie Lian smiled at him, and squeezed his hand.
But before Hua Cheng could say anything, something happened.
Something people never expect to happen especially after having a great day.
And Hua Cheng had not expected that either.
That anxiety gripped him in its viciously sharp claws.
The metro suddenly lurched, making the lights go off. The temperature rose inside the carrier and Hua Cheng felt weightless as the world around him tilted and blurred.
YAY A CLIFFHANGER.
The next chapter will be intense and you guys know very well that I do not update regularly. But if I receive a ton of comments (especially compliments, I will be motivated and the chapter might come out early as well
So...
I need you to be patient.
While I write the next chapter down.
(And also enjoy the feeling of knowing that I might be tormenting you guys with the delay... HUAHAHAHAH *evil laughter*)