TW, mentions of abuse, nightmares, mentions of J@ck D@vis AKA Y/N's father and really awful words coming from him. I WARN YOU
this is my fav chapter so far, i hope you love it☺️
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I am so distant from my mum and Li, more than ever. I can barely talk to them, let alone be around them. I spend the nights at Peter's, Ned's, or Lex's. But mostly I am always with Peter. Usually it is at his house, but sometimes it is at mine.
I've grown apart from my parents because of Jack. They treat me so differently. They are so careful with everything that they say and they're constantly whispering. I get it that they are just trying to be nice to me or be careful but it is so annoying.
"Awh big stretch." I hear Lex talking to Toaster as she stretches out her arms. "Y/N, I'm taking Toaster home with me."
"No, she's mine." Peter argues. "Right, Toast?"
"At least I can say her name right."
"It's a nickname, she likes it." Peter rolls her eyes, "Give me." He snaches the cat.
"You guys need to stop arguing about who gets her cat, because it's mine." Ned reaches over and grabs Toaster.
"You guys are going to over stimulate her." I mumble, not looking up from my laptop screen.
Peter then grabs my laptop. "What are you looking at?" He holds it and reads it.
"Wanker, don't grab my shit." I sat up to grab it.
"You have to talk with Natasha first, Y/N. I understand your situation, but you need her permission." Peter reads aloud.
I grab it from him, "You fucking dickhead." I roll my eyes, "Why would you do that?"
"Why was that from Mr. Stark? What about needing to talk to Mrs. Romanoff?" Peter wrinkles his eyebrows.
"Now Toaster doesn't like you." I shake my head at him.
"Hey..." Peter wines. "Anyway, what was that?"
"I asked Tony if I could move into the compound." I shrug my shoulders, "That's it. Please don't grab my stuff without my permission."
"What? Why?" Lex asks.
Ned wrinkles his eyebrows, "But then you will have to stop going to our school."
"Yeah, it's too far." Peter mumbles.
"Just shit with my mum and Li, and I want to be somewhere where... he can't find me." I look down at my hands, picking at my skin. "I just need to leave."
"Love, he can't escape prison or get to you, your mum is Black Widow and she's strong as fuck and will kill him if she had the chance." Lex utters, she then wraps her arm around me.
"No, you're literally a Spider, you haved saved so many random strangers, and I wouldn't be able to fight in fights without you, let alone be Spiderman." Peter smiles at me.
What a dumbass, Lex doesn't even know he is Spiderman. "Peter!" I feel Lex's arm loosen on me.
"What?" Peter wrinkles his eyebrows.
I sigh, "She doesn't know."
"Oh shit." Peter makes an o with his mouth.
"You're Spiderman?!" She looks at him with shock. "Did you know this?" She asks Ned.
"I-" Ned stutters, "It was on accident, I've only known for a month or so."
"What?" She pauses, "You all knew this and you didn't tell me? I mean I understand just you two knowing because of you both being Avengers, but if Ned knew and I didn't? What the hell?"
"No, Lex." I sigh, "Ned only knows because I was climbing on the ceiling in Peter's room with him and Ned happened to be there, we didn't know he'd be there." I try to tell her but she won't listen.
"Fuck you all, honestly." She stands up and walks out of my room. I mean I understand she's mad, I would be too because that's a big secret but she needs to listen to us...
"I'm gonna go talk to her." Ned gets up and leaves me and Peter alone.
"I feel like that was a bit dramatic..." Peter tilts his head to the side.
I nod my head, "A little." I agree with him, "You need to learn to keep your mouth shut."
"Hey, she had to know at some point." Peter shrugs.
I bite my cheek, "Yeah, I guess."
My door swings open, "Y/N, your friends need to leave and you are having dinner with Li and I tonight. We have to talk about... things." She says calmly but I know she is angry.
"Uhm, yeah okay." I nod my head. Peter gets off my bed.
"See you later, Y/N" He waves. "You too Mrs. Romanoff."
"Bye." I smile at him, "See you later." He walks out of my room, "What are we eating?"
"Salad and steak, it's ready now so lets go." She tells me, I nod and get up.
Once I am seated at the table, I have my food and I am eating but they are staring so intensely at me. "Can I help you guys?" I finally ask.
"Uhm-" My mum starts, "Y/N, have you ever thought about moving out?"
I wrinkle my eyebrows. "No, why?" I'm lying, no way in hell am I saying the truth.
"Tony, he texted me and asked if I knew about you wanting to move into the compound." She adds.
That bitch.
"We love you, Y/N. We want you here." Lina speaks up.
"So why are you treating me like I'm going to shatter like some glass." I mumble.
"We aren't," Mum argues. "Please just tell me why you want to leave?"
"I-" I look at my plate. "You guys just won't stop worrying about me, and... I'm just nervous that if I live here, Jack can find me." I whisper the last part extremely quietly.
Mum then sighs, "He won't escape, you are completely safe here."
"It's just been hard living here because it reminds me of things that happened." I mumble. "Sometimes my dreams are so realistic and they always happen when I am sleeping here, rarely when I'm at my friends."
"Babe, we aren't moving," My mum says. "It's a lot of work."
"You won't move out of the house that causes your daughter the most anxiety because it's to much work? Wow mum." I stand up and I push in my chair.
"No, Y/N, that's not what I meant." I hear her yell after me as I walk away. Tears are running down my cheeks, I just opened up to them and they both completely shut me down and made my feelings worthless.
I grab my school backpack and another bag, I grab clothes and my toiletries and I put them into my bag. Once I'm packed I walk out of my room. "Where are you going?" I hear my mum ask but I shut the door instead of replying to her.
I get inside of my car and I call Peter immediately. "Hello." He says when he answers the phone, but his voice is deep, like he is using the effect from his suit.
"Can I stay the night at your house, please?" I mutter. I back out of my driveway and begin driving away.
"Yeah, what's wrong?" His voice is now back to normal.
"I'll tell you when I'm there. Thank you so much, honestly." I wipe a tear away.
"Of course, I'll always be here for you." He then hangs up. I listen to some music on the way there.
I know that they're just looking out for me but the way she made me feel so unwanted or unvalidated. And she won't move because it is too much work? Again, I understand, but when it is your daughter who is triggered by a place that is supposed to make her feel safe, she doesn't even try, at all.
Thank god for Peter, I'm so glad to have a friend like him, he is so nice, and pretty- wait what? God what the fuck? No. He is not pretty. I just think of him as a friend, that's all.
Maybe I should buy him and May something sometime, or bring them food sometime. They are just so nice for letting me stay over all of the time like I genuinely don't know what I would do without them.
I pull into the parking lot of his apartment complex in no time and I get out of my car and I grab the bags I have, then, I get a text from Peter.
Peter: can you climb up the wall and crawl through my window? May doesn't want friends here so
Y/N: I can stay at Lex's or Ned's if you're not available?
Peter: no, no! I want you to come over
Y/N: oh, okay. I'll be there in a few minutes:)
I then walk to the side of the building where Peter's window is, it is the only one open. My suit covers me and I climb up the wall. Once I reach his window, I knock even though it is open, "Can I come in?"
"Yep." He walks to me and holds out his hand and helps me in.
I breathe out air and my suit comes off, "Awesomesause." I nod my head, "Hey, thanks for this."
Peter lets out a chuckle, "Awesomesause?"
"I'm reverting back to 2014 when I was mentally healthy and my life was somewhat okay." I mumble with a smile on my face.
Petter awkwardly nods, "Uh... Okay." He nods his head. "You realize you can talk about your trauma without smiling."
I feel called out.
That reminds me of Harry's song Matilda when it says, 'Matilda you talk of the pain like it's all alright.' I shake my head, "I'm good, thanks though." I set my stuff on the floor. "Thank you, seriously."
"Of course, can I ask what happened?" He asked me. I sit at his desk and I turn the chair around.
"You're not allowed to judge me because I feel like I overreacted." I say. He nods at me to go on. "So they asked me why I wanted to move out because Tony told them, I said that sometimes when I sleep there or when I am just there, it triggers me. Like I have nightmares every time I'm there and I haven't had one when I sleep here or at Lex's. I kinda just told them that I needed to get out of that house because it's too much of a reminder of Jack. My mum then told me that it is too much work. I understand, I just wish she worded it better, like she didn't even try to understand me." I say very quickly. "So... I left as I always do. I don't want to go back for a bit, they just treat me so differently. You know?"
Peter nods his head, "Yeah, I get that. I mean- I don't get it, at all. But yeah. You can stay here whenever you want. I'm sorry, I suck at being a supportive friend." I laugh at him.
"You're good." I mutter and I spin in his chair.
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"You bitch, you've ruined my career." Jack spits, knocking my door open, "I can't do anything ever again because your dumb friend caught us. You lied! I know you're just a slut who loves being full and filled up."
I backed up against my headboard, "No- No, how did you escape prison?" My breath quickens, I knew it, I knew this would happen.
"That's none of your fucking buisness considering you put me in there." He towers over me on my bed. "Turn around."
"No." I hiccup. "Please, no. I'm your daughter, I'm your kid, please no." Tears run down my cheeks.
"I said turn around! Did you not hear me?" He pins my wrists above my head and turns me around.
"No! Stop it! Please stop it!" I shout, choking out sobs into my pillow.
I feel my body shaking, "Y/N wake up, you're dreaming."
Peter?
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I gasp, my eyes shooting open and I sit up. My breathing is quick and there are hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Oh my god. I'm at Peters. I'm not at home. "Hey, hey, it was just a dream." Peter gently grabs onto my arm. I choke out a sob and pull my knees to my chest. "Can I sit next to you? Is that okay?"
I gulp and nod my head, "Mhm." I answer. Peter then sits himself next to me, my breath still quick.
"Take some slow breaths, okay? You're okay, he can't hurt you, you're okay" He wraps an arm around me and I lean into him, my breath slowly steadying.
"'m sorry." I quietly say. "This is so embarrassing, 'm sorry I woke you." I shake my head, "God I'm so sorry, I can leave if you want."
"No, no, no, Y/N. Stop saying you're sorry, this is normal, don't be sorry." Peter holds onto the sides of my cheeks as he speaks.
I don't know what happened because one second I am just glancing at his lips, and then the next, they're on mine.
And he's kissing me back?
Oh no, what am I doing?
This is going to ruin our friendship.
I pull off immediately, "No,we can't do that. No. FUCK. I'm so sorry." I shake my head, "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What did I do?" I stand up and I grab my bags, "Shit, I can't be here."
"Shoot, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking right." Peter begins panicing. I grab my bags and my suits covers me.
"I'm so sorry." I whisper as I jump out of the building and I land on the ground.
What was I thinking?
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FKSFHEIOSAHGULISGUIODRSHGUSA
this chapter took a turn
btw peter is a bit more mature than in the movies and different
obvi
anygays, i have school in the morning because it just started:(
stay gay xxxx
Word count: 2442