Irene's point of view
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START, but ever since I saw the girl I accidentally bumped into in the hallway of the school, my heartbeat quickens everytime I see her. My body also softens at the moment of I'm with her in the same place, in just the two of us together.
I'm really so confused about what happened to me, 'cause first of all. Since I've been working as a college professor here at university for a long years, I never felt this way of feelings with my other students. Like, to admire her?
Oh gosh Irene, hell no.
She's my student and i'm her professor, loving her is a sin.
I have a lot of answers in my mind that "I don't know" everytime I couldn't figure out why I liked her, bakit sa lahat nang magagandang babae ay siya pa?
Bakit si Samantha ang laging hinahanap-hanap ng mga mata ko sa tuwing babangon ako sa umaga para pumasok?
At siya pa rin ang iniisip sa pagsapit ng gabi.
Bakit nakakaramdam ako ng galit at selos sa tuwing kasama niya si Rachelle?
Bakit nanlalambot ang matigas na puso ko dahil sa kan'ya?
She is just a normal student like the others who aspires to become a teacher like us in the future, an innocent and ordinary girl who lives in the province that some fellow Filipino called the poorest place here in the Philippines. A very kind lassie, no matter how much I raise my voice to her and I am angry with her, she tries to understand and be kind to me.
Damn I really love this girl, argh!
In the moments that I always catch a glimpse of her sweet smile, my heart wants to escape from the ribcage, my stomach was pounded by many butterflies. I'm always dazzled by her shining sparkling eyes, her red and plump looking lips that I desperately want to steal a kiss.
I like everything about her, she's an ethereal and perfect. Her lips, yeah. I want to want to kiss and penetrate. Her eyes, I want to be the only one her eyes can see. Her cute chubby cheeks, I just want to squeeze it forever! Her scent, I want to smell it everyday. 'Cause, I will never get tired of smelling her.
Her damn baby scent, augh!
Of course the Samantha, she is what I want, want to be with for life. I don't care if they call me possessive in what I say, because all I want is to be with her and no one else.
She is 21 years old and I am 35, but age doesn't matter right? Just kidding
She's like an addictive drugs.
But it just hurts to think that I'm not the reason why she smiles everytime I glance at her. It's Rachelle, as always. How I wish na ako na lang sana 'yun, ang taong nagiging dahilan nang pagngiti niya.
Ako na lang sana si Rachelle.
I can't quite imagine that Rachelle, my number one bestfriend since then will be my peer over Samantha. I know Rachelle, she's a swinging both ways like me and I also know that she likes Samantha, even if she doesn't tell me the secret she's hiding.
Kung kinaya ko maging secret admirer, kaya ko rin maging spy sa mga ibang bagay. Lalo na't pagdating sa mga secrets.
I also admit that I quicky feel jealous when I see Samantha and Rachelle together in the same place hanging out and having fun with each other, my anger issue increases with everything. Even with Samantha, I pour out my anger on her.
I wish I could always be with her too.
Sana kagaya ko rin si Rachelle na mabait at matutulog sa gabi na walang sakit na dinadamdam sa pamilya..
I'm also aware too that college professor and students are not allowed to like each other or have a relationship inside the university, but my feelings can't stop me. Kung ano ang sigaw nang nararamdaman ko, mas mabuti na sundin ko iyon.
I am the grumpy and rude person to her, while on the other hand, Samantha still reciprocates kindness to me. But not gonna lie, deep inside I want to be clingy and sweet to her. Ang gusto ko ako lang at wala ng iba. Gusto ko dumikit sa kan'ya, sabay yakapin siya nang mahigpit at doon ko isisiksik ang ulo ko sa kan'ya.
In spite of that, she recognized me by being rude and always angry to her since day one. That's why I couldn't be soft and easy with her, na kahit minsan ay nadadala na ako dahil sa kan'yang mga kilos at ngiti. Baka isipin niya rin kasing gusto ko siya – well gusto ko naman talaga siya, sadyang natatakot lang ako. Magiging soft na lang basta basta which is gusto ko rin ilabas minsan.
Ayoko rin naman mag-expect na magugustuhan niya ako, dahil alam ko na aware siya sa simple rules and obligations sa University, so I'll just choose to hide my feelings for her and probably Kiefer is her type.
'Cause she's straight..
Sitting on my swivel chair, sipping a hot coffee during cold and rainy weather, thinking about the girl that I like with a smile plastered on my face, of course. And yep, that's me. This is my hobby every morning when I'm at the University and every night when I'm at my penthouse.
Always thinking about Samantha.
I'm literally obsessed with her, fucking goodness Irene!
Ano na ba ang nangyayari sa akin, at bakit siya pa? Sa dinami-dami ng babaeng magugustuhan ko at bakit siya pa? Aminado naman ako na I'm not a ruler matagal na, pero bakit sa studyante ko pa talaga.
"Hindi ka naman talaga straight noong una pa Irene, ano pa ba ang kinababaliwan mo?!" I talked to myself as if I was lunatic. I rolled my eyes in annoyance dahil hindi ko na talaga mapigilang hindi siya isipin.
"Fucking crazy, Irene!" I can't handle this anymore, I'm so obsessed with her to the point na inaalam ko ang bawat galaw at kilos niya.
Ganun na ba ako kabaliw sa kan'ya?
Kaso minsan gusto ko na lang manakit, dahil sa lagi niyang kasama si Dawn, lagi na lang si Dawn. Napaghinalaan niya pa na si Rachelle ang nagbigay ng bulaklak kahit galing sa akin 'yun, ako ang nagbigay nun kahit 'yung ice pack with letter noong first day of school, at syempre ang Sammybear niyang nickname na galing sa akin.
Sammybear is cute kaya, may paint din ako sa bahay about sa kan'ya and the title is 'Samflower'. I don't know, but I found it cute naman like her.
Sa maya mayang pag-iisip ko nang kung ano-ano tungkol kay Sammybear, nabigla naman ako nang may pumasok sa opisina ko na walang permiso at basta basta na lang kumaripas ng lakad papunta sa akin.
Wala naman ng iba kung hindi si Darlyne.
"What now, Darlyne?" I shut my eyes because of laziness and tiredness at the same time.
Dumagdag pa 'tong babaeng 'to.
"Gusto ko pong sumali sa mr. and ms. Intrams ng university, ms. Irene," She face to face uttered to me. Kung makapagsabi sa 'kin akala mo ako ang nagsimula ng patimpalak.
"I'm sorry?" Bakas sa saad ko ang pagtataka, dahil una sa lahat ang sabi ko babalikan ko siya, pero hindi ko naman sinabing siya ang isasali ko.
"I said, gusto ko pong sumali sa upcoming mr. and ms. Intramural,"
Kahit kailan talaga ang taas ng confidence niya, ito rin ang hinahanap ko kay Samantha at siguro ang magiging goal ko talaga as her trainer ay ang pataasin ang Confidence at tanggalin ang Insecurities niya sa sarili.
Her beauty and brain is enough.
"Gustuhin ko 'man ipasok ka sa pageant, pero may nauna na kasi sa'yo Darlyne." I lied, hindi ko naman talaga gustong isali siya kahit kailan.
"What?!" She spat her anger on me. "Then who?" Wala talagang modo 'tong batang 'to.
"My Sammybear,"
My eyes widened in shock when I suddenly realized what I answered to Darlyne. Ang tanga tanga mo Irene, bakit mo naman sinabi kay Darlyne 'yun. It should be private, only I can knows.
"Who's Sammybear, ms. Irene?" She asked, her brows furrowed in curiosity.
"I mean S-samantha, not S-sammybear." I coldly reasoned out while stuttering.
I saw that her eyes narrowed at me, she also got me to raise her right eyebrow. The audicity of this bitch!
I was startled when she started to slowly approached me while biting her lips, and when she got close to me, she placed her left palm on my arm and caressed it.
Napalunok ako nang ilang beses dahil sa hindi ko mawaring ginagawa niya sa akin, this bitch is seducing me. She held my face, then slowly brought her face into mine. I turned my head sideways to avoid her, causing me to hear her small giggle.
She held my chin which caused me to face her, gradually brought her face closer to mine, so that our lips could touch. I feel like I'm being hypnotized to kiss her, because I see Samantha in her.
Ang ganda mo Sammybear, I badly want to kiss you. Matagal na.
I closed my eyes tightly while thinking of Samantha that she was the one I was kissing and seducing me. I held the face of this girl to get closer on me, and when I felt her breath, I suddenly smiled.
Is this Samantha?
Oh gosh.
"Come on, kiss me miss ma'am." I heard Samantha voice as if seducing. She held me by my nape while resting her knee on my thighs.
Yes, I will Sammybear.
We were about to kiss, when suddenly the door opened and I heard something very familiar voice. She joyfully greeted me, but she couldn't continue her greet when she saw something that made her shock.
What a show, hindi na naman natuloy ang kiss namin ni Samantha again and again.
"Goodmorning, ma–" She trailed off.
It's Samantha's voice ah, if it is Samantha's voice that greets me just entering my office, edi sino 'tong hahalikan ko?
I opened my eyes that were closed, and I was very surprised that it was Darlyne who was in front of me that I was about to kiss, so I pushed her away in shock and looked at Samantha who was at my door.
Fuck, this is so insane! Hahalikan ko ang isang aso?!
"S-samantha.." I uttered her name stuttering. Imbes na apilyedo, pangalan pa talaga ang nasambit ko dahil sa kaba na nararamdaman ko.
She still didn't move from her place even after I spoke and the show is over, I could see the those tears rolling down on the sides of her eyes, as she pressed her lips.
She's crying, my Sammybear is crying.
"Oh, hi there, Samantha!" Darlyne grinned. She came even closer to me and held onto my arm. Hindi naman nakaligtas ang tinginan na 'yun galing kay Samantha, kaya mabilis akong kumawala sa kamay ni Darlyne.
Hindi ko mawari ang nararamdaman niya, dahil para siyang iiyak sa gulat.
"Ms. Mendoza, I-Its not what you think.." I've led her to whatever in her mind before she spoke unpleasant nonsense first to us.
Bakit ba ako magpapaliwanag kay Samantha, eh wala lang naman 'yung nakita niya. H-hindi naman natuloy dahil I thought it was her.
"Ano po bang nasa isip ko?" She answered coldly. Ano nga ba- psh! Irene naman inunahan mo kaagad.
"S-sana po kasi marunong kayo m-maglock ng pintuan, para hindi ako magugulat sa g-ginagawa niyo."
Nasindak naman ako bigla nang sumabat si Darlyne sa sinabi ni Samantha na nagpakunot ng noo ko.
"Yes, I'm so sorry for that. Dapat naglock nga kami ni ms. Irene para hindi mo makita na magki-kiss kaming dalawa," What the heck! Ni hindi ko nga ginustong halikan si Darlyne, dahil ang nasa isip ko ay si Samantha.
I couldn't argue a word to what Darlyne was saying, dahil para akong binubulungan ng kung sino at sinasabihan ng 'huwag na makisali sa usapan nila'. I just glancing back and forth at my two students who are in my office now and my body has seest turned into a statue.
"I'm sorry po, hindi ko sinasadyang ma-interrupt ang ginagawa niyo." I heard Samantha apologized.
"Sorry? Sa tingin mo mababalik ng sorry mo ang ginagawa namin." Mataray na sagot ng babaeng katabi ko, "Istorbo ka talaga eh!"
That's why I really don't like this girl, because I'm aware that she's been bullying Samantha here at the University since the beginning.
Such a mean bitchy!
"M-may tamang oras at lugar naman po kasi para sa ganyan, kaya hindi niyo rin ho ako masisisi - AH!" She was cut off when Darlyne suddenly threw one of my books here in the office at her arm, causing her to groan in pain.
Tinignan ko naman nang masama si Darlyne at pinagsabihan.
"Darlyne!" I uttered her name in annoyance. "Anong ginawa mo, bakit mo siya binato ng libro? Nahihibang ka na ba!?"
"Masyado kasi siyang epal, kaya ayan ang nararapat sa mga kagaya niya." She replied that made me pieced off.
Para akong sasabog sa galit dahil sa ginawa niya sa Sammybear ko. Sinulyapan ko naman si Samantha, at laking gulat ko nang makita ko na nakaupo na siya sa may pintuan at nakahawak sa braso niyang natamaan habang sumisinghot sa iyak.
I was about to support Samantha to stand, when she suddenly spoke while sniffing that made me stop what I was doing to her.
"B-bitawan niyo p-po ako," She cried. Para akong nadurog ng ilang beses nang marinig ko ang boses niyang umiiyak na naman.
I hate seeing her cry, just because of me.
"S-samantha.." I softly muttered.
"Please po, ms. Irene.." She pleaded while sobbing, "N-natatakot na po ako, ayoko nang masaktan ako ni Darlyne."
I just looked at her preventing my face from showing emotion, I held her arm that was shaking with fear and gently caressed it.
You don't deserve this, my Sammybear.
"I'm s-sorry po sa kanina, g-gusto ko lang naman bumati sainyo. Pero maniwala ho kayo o sa hindi, hindi ko po talaga inaasahang makikita ko kayo na ganun."
I understand my Sammybear, I'm on your side don't worry.
I came back to my senses when she suddenly stood up while still shaking in fear then wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Mauna na ho ako, pasensya na po ulit."
"Wait, are you okay na ba?" Hindi ko alam kung sino ang kumukontrol sa sarili kong katawan para tanungin siya na may pag-aalala na tono.
"O-opo, ayos lang ako."
She finally out of my office, so this is the perfect time for Darlyne and I, to settle for what happened earlier.
I turned around to see Darlyne and gave her a death glare. I rushed to her near on my table, then held both of her arms tightly together. Gusto ko siyang piratin sa inis at pagpiga-pigain sa inis.
"Ano bang pumasok sa kamote mong utak para saktan siya ng ganun!" Gusto ko ilabas lahat ng galit ko sa kan'ya habang may pagkakataon pa.
Nakita ko naman na napapikit siya sa takot, kaya napangisi ako sa tuwa.
"I'm sorry, hindi ko naman sinasadya, eh."
"Sana lang totoo 'yang sinasabi mo Darlyne, kung hindi mapipilitan ako ng wala sa oras para ipadispatya ka dito sa loob ng university!" I threatened.
"Bakit! Ano ba sa'yo 'yang babaeng 'yan ha!" She yelled, "Isa lang naman siyang basura kagaya ng iba kung ikukumpara mo sa akin, na naliligo araw-araw sa kayamanan."
Hindi mahalaga sa akin ang kayamanan kung mawawalan ka ng respeto sa lahat ng tao.
"Ibang-iba sa'yo si Samantha, Darlyne. Kaya huwag mong subukan ikumpara ang pagkatao niya sa'yo, dahil kabaitan at busilak ng puso ang hinahanap ko sa isang tao, at hindi kayabangan at kapangyahiran sa kasamaan!"
"Bakit gusto mo ba siya? Kaya ka nangkakaganyan sa babaeng 'yon," Natigil naman ako sa tanong niya, na hindi ko inaasahan.
Umiling ako bilang sagot, kaya tinawanan niya naman ako na may pang-asar na tono. This bitch!
"Wala kang pag-asa sa kan'ya ms. Irene, itigil mo 'yang imahinasyon mo! Si ms. Dawn. Si ms. Dawn, ang gusto niya at hindi ikaw, kaya mangarap ka hanggang sa maubusan ka ng hininga." Para akong sinampal sa katotohanan, kaya napabitaw ako ng hawak sa kan'ya at nakaramdam ng kirot sa puso.
'Wala kang pag-asa sa kan'ya
Wala kang pag-asa sa kan'ya
Wala kang pag-asa sa kan'ya'
Three times screaming in my mind. Ayoko na, kung hindi siya ay 'wag na lang. Hindi ako papayag na hindi ako.
"H-hindi ko siya gusto," I deny what Darlyne said as mixed with full of lies. I like you a lot, my Sammybear.
"Then great! I have to go.. but one more thing," She commented and fixed herself, "Isasali mo ako sa ayaw at sa gusto mo ms. Irene." After that, she left me alone.
Kinuyom ko ang mga palad ko na hanggang sa maging hugis bilog habang nagngangalit ang aking mga ngipin sa inis. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang aking galit at mabuti naman ay nagtagumpay ako.
Huminga ako nang malalim, sabay lumakad palabas ng opisina ko na parang walang nangyari. When I got to the elevator, I didn't expect to see the two lassie who make my head heat up when they are together.
Samantha and Rachelle, as always and in all ways.
I can see the joy in Samantha's eyes when she is with Rachelle, which I envy and jelous.
I hope I can make her happy too.
But I can't.
Hanggang tingin na lang ako sa mga mata ni Samantha na nagniningning sa saya, na hindi naman ako ang dahilan.
__________________________________________
(Author: Kamusta first week? HAHAHA)
(New Chapter)
I apologize for the incorrect grammar and typographical error
See you in next chapter!
- your author krispykwim