Hassan and I have been hanging out quite a bit. His family was always nice, hospitable, and welcoming, which was a relief because I needed positive vibes in my life; especially now.
I won't lie, I still did not feel like I fit in or belonged one hundred percent but I was giving it my best shot. It was all I could do and I only focused on what I could accomplish and not so much on what I couldn't. The things I knew I could not accomplish were the things I left on the back-burner until I could deal with them.
It was how my dad always taught me, take care of what you can today and don't worry about what you can't or the worries that tomorrow might bring.
The ironic thing though, was that I tended to put a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders and while these responsibilities were accomplishable things, they were often too numerous for me to accomplish.
Therefore, I've learned that even if certain things were doable, it was the large amounts of such matters that made them difficult to finish and accomplish. So I've learned, the hard way, the need to take a step back and reflect on myself and what was reasonable.
I watched as my aunt and uncle watched from a distance, as I was being photographed for Jihan's line of jewelry for males.
They were smiling and Khaled and Louai were also watching from a distance. The photoshoot was done and I went to change and shower off all the oils they put all over me, to make my skin appear more radiant in the photos.
After freshening up, I walked up to my family. We all went to a restaurant where I was for sure going to order myself a burger and fries. Sorry, but I was gonna indulge if I felt like it since for one thing, Jihan was not requiring me to follow some diet to maintain my shape since I was already in shape but I was not going to overindulge, either.
"You did a really good job in today's shoot" Jihan smiled.
"Thank you" I said, looking at the rather huge burger with a nice side of crispy fries to compliment it.
"Look, I know you agreed to model for me and I am so grateful because you're a really talented subject and you know how to maintain your cool" she smiled. "But agents and other modeling agencies will try and get you to join them."
"Which means food will be well...out of the picture."
Everyone laughed.
"You really love food, don't you?" Khaled asked though he knew.
"Yes, a lot" I grabbed the burger and took a huge bite.
"It sure does look like it" Louai laughed.
I looked at Louai. I knew he wanted to patch things up and he would often insert a thing or two during a conversation. The issue still lies with me, though, because I still felt the effects of what he did to me and as much as I wanted to move on, I was having a hard time doing so.
That night still stung me. I felt it every day and every time I ran into a celebrity that was not a member of my family.
Especially one who had been a witness to the humiliation I endured.
After conversing and having a good time as a family, celebrating the fact I had, essentially, just launched a new career, we walked around the Dubai mall and went from store to store.
Looking at my phone, I received an update email from both Holly and Francie, giving me a quick update on what was going on at the shop and all seemed to be falling well into place.
It was one last thing to worry about.
Khaled appeared out of nowhere, startling me.
"Scared me" I laughed, placing my hand over my heart.
"I'm sorry" he chuckled. "I was hoping we could go get something to drink at a coffee shop. I was hoping to talk to you about something."
"Um, sure" I noticed the seriousness in both his expression and eyes.
We went to a coffee shop called Overdose, which was quite similar to Starbucks and had lounge chairs where one could sit, relax, and read a good book.
I fondly remembered the days I would go to Starbucks and sit there, reading and drinking decaf coffee so I would not make myself overdose on caffeine. It was my time and I missed those days of reading while being surrounded by the lovely aroma of coffee. But the moment Santi turned to his drugs, those days slowly began to drift into oblivion.
It was like I did remember those days but they felt so distant, it felt as if they may not have ever happened.
That's how long it has been since I've had that kind of time to myself.
"I bet you're wondering why the talk, huh?"
"Yeah" I admitted. "The seriousness in your expression and eyes."
"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't. Though admittedly, I am used to hearing less than pleasurable conversations so something like this is hardly a reason to fret or tremble, for that matter."
"I see you're quite tough-skinned."
"In some ways, yes. Emotionally in some cases, but mostly the toughness is more physical than emotional."
"I get it."
"But what did you want to talk to me about?"
"It's about Louai."
"What about him?" I tried not to sound too bothered by the fact we were going to talk about my cousin who tried to ruin me and did, to a certain extent, succeed.
"Well..." he sighed as if trying to come up with the words to explain the purpose of this convo he was so obviously having a hard time starting. "Look, I know what Louai did to you over six months ago now, was perhaps the hardest thing to deal with and I made it worse for you by turning my back on you."
"It was and it still is" I said, being truthful because let's face it, it was the worst humiliation I had ever had to deal with.
"Louai is trying hard and he wants to not only get to know you but also, he wants to draw closer to you."
I had no clue how to answer. He was being sweet about it and knowing how much he loved his brother, I realized he wanted there to be peace between Louai and me. The problem was that I was not a hundred percent able to let it go, even though I did want things to change between him and me.
"Khaled, I know you mean well but the problem is that while I know he is regretful, I'm still having a hard time letting it all go. I can't put a timetable to this and I can't simply say everything is okay when it isn't."
"I get it and I won't force you either. I just wanted to talk to you about it so you can think about it and make the decision yourself. But if you're not ready to be friends with him like we are, it's okay and he's going to have to accept that because, at the end of the day, he is who caused this."
Louai was not a bad person and knew his only aim was to protect his family from someone he felt held too many secrets and who he did not feel was being truthful. He had a point in that because when we first met, I had a bag full of secrets that I did not want anyone to know about. Still, he could have gone about it differently.
If he wanted to have me investigated, he could have done that in secret. Or he could have done something else but the humiliation he put me through, to get me out of the way, was too much for me to let go.
However, I was very much aware that at some point we were going to have to talk about this and find a way to move past it. This cold war between us had to come to an end at some point before it turned into an actual war between us.
"Well...what I can say is that I will get over it at some point. But I think it's best if he talks to me as opposed to you doing the talking for him."
"He's scared of talking to you" he chuckled.
"He really shouldn't because if he's afraid I'm going to deck him again, he can rest easy because I won't do it, again."
"You two should have a heart-to-heart. You are cousins, after all, and the last thing I want is for you two to be at odds when the past is in the past...though I'm not minimizing what he did because what he did was cruel."
"He made the wrong decision for the right reasons, I guess."
"But it was still wrong, what he did. I reminded him that it was wrong but I was also wrong because you were victimized at the end."
"I don't like being referred to as a victim, to be honest. It makes me feel weak and helpless and I don't see myself as such."
"You're not helpless. I think you're one of the strongest people I know but I don't think you realize that."
"You're right, I don't. Because I feel anything but strong."
"But you are and I know you will get through these traumas. You will come out of them victorious and I see you taking those steps already."
"How so?"
"You're slowly stepping out of your comfort zone and you're a model now, though only for my mom's jewelry line" he chuckled.
"It was a decision I wanted to make, to do something different with my life. My whole life always revolved around getting good grades, going to university, and making something of myself but as you know those plans fell through."
"But you also found ways of making something of yourself. You own an auto shop and you fix cars for a living. You're a mechanic and an auto technician. You're super smart, you're sensitive, and you have a good heart. You're a winner in my book."
"Thank you, I appreciate your kind words."
"Anytime."
Then a concerned expression engulfed Khaled's face. Turning around, he saw Louai with Yacine Al-Aziz at the clothing store across the café and it looked like he was trying to bully him.
We both got up and walked over to where the action was taking place. People, nosy snoopy people, had their phones out trying to capture the juiciness that was taking place in front of them.
I got a bit ahead of Khaled and the moment I saw Yacine push Louai like the bully that he was, I sped up and stepped between them.
"What the hell is wrong with you putting your hands on him like that?!"
"You need to get out of my face!" he tried acting tough.
"If I were you, I would get the hell out of here before you see how wrathful I can be!"
"You, wrathful?" he mocked. "You're nothing but a wannabe model SLASH celebrity and you only get that juice because your uncle is none other than the famous Superstar Ragheb Alama."
"Unlike some idiot standing in front of me, I don't pretend to be what I'm not, like you!"
"Oh really, and what am I pretending to be?"
"Tough, that's what! And you ain't tough and you ain't got a backbone either if you think bullying others makes you such!"
"You better get out of my face, right now!" he threatened his face mere inches from mine.
"If you don't walk away now, I will call the police, and believe me that I will!"
"Bitch, I told you to get out of my face!"
"That's it, I'm calling the police" I turned around while noticing other celebrities here. I even saw Sheikh Hamdan, AKA Fazza, talking with my aunt and uncle, who were witnessing this commotion.
"Oh, the hell you are!" he grabbed my arm but the moment he did, I turned around lightning fast and landed a hard and nasty punch to his stomach, then flipped him over until he was down.
Everyone started taking photos of me, especially some of the girls and most were wearing hijabs.
Really nice hijabs that complimented their beauty.
I ignored the people around us and watched as Sheikh Hamdan walked over. I was now both worried and scared that I was going to get arrested but I had to defend myself too.
Yacine looked at me with anger and got up about as fast as he fell when I flipped him around, making him land on his ass.
He then pulled out a pocket knife, which was perhaps the stupidest thing when the Sheikh was right there. Only, I had a feeling he was so enraged that he didn't even notice him.
"You think you're so tough?!" he looked at me with hate while people panicked.
Only, I was not afraid.
"And you think holding that knife is gonna make you tough?" I said in a tone that told him I could still take him down, and quickly charged at him to disarm him.
He started trying to stab me but I blocked all his blows, but managed to slash me in the arm but did not let the pain deter my attention from the murderous intent that was taking place.
We wrestled and managed to disarm him and landed a hard punch to the face. He tried punching me but he was not succeeding until I slammed my palm into his face, making his nose bleed and once again trying to stab me the moment he picked up his knife. I grabbed his arm in a position that would hurt and debilitate him.
Things got heated but I continued using the moves my friend Jordan Garner taught me, who was maybe close to a decade older than I was, and was an agent for the FBI and was trained at both Quantico and the CIA's farm.
I continued the moves I was taught, which was something I had gotten good at, as it was a mixed form of various martial arts moves. I disarmed him, again, and then the police showed up and grabbed us both. Then my uncle came to defend me and when the police ignored his request for me to be released, Sheikh Hamdan stepped in and told them to leave me and to arrest Yacine.
He explained what had happened and that I was simply defending myself since he did threaten me with a knife.
My arm was bleeding badly but the wound was kind of superficial, though it was still painful and the stinging was bad enough to give me discomfort. But physical discomfort and certain levels of pain were something I was good at handling at this point after Jordan trained me to handle it.
Sheikh Hamdan as well as my uncle, both reasoned with the police, and finally, after the Crown Prince got a little more serious, he let me go and Yacine was arrested.
After this fight, we were escorted home by the Prince's security team, the Sheikh coming along to the house for dinner, since my uncle was super grateful he made it possible for me not to get arrested.
Walking into the bathroom, I took my shirt off and looked at my bleeding wound. I grabbed some alcohol and some pads, and pressed them against my wound, stinging like a mother.
I stood there, my heart beating fast as the pain from the stinging the alcohol caused, but again not something that was going to debilitate me as I was still applying the same pain handling techniques Jordan taught me so I would not be a hundred percent debilitated by the enemy.
Exiting the room after treating and covering my wound, Khaled and my uncle were looking at me as if they were seeing me for the first time.
"What's up?"
"How did you learn to fight that way?" asked Khaled. "I didn't think of it the last time but this time, you made it seem like you were highly trained by the FBI or CIA. Those weren't simple martial arts moves."
I decided to tell them the truth, and I was going to because secrets tended to destroy relationships. And my family was too important for me to lose over something that was unnecessary to keep secret.