Everything was ready. Everything was prepared. Armour had been enchanted and strengthened. Swords had been sharpened. Bows and crossbows had been tightened. The soldiers were all well-fed and trained. Everything was going to plan.
Everything other than yourself.
You felt like a mess. Your favourite sword wasn't enchanted fully so it felt slightly heavier than usual. You hadn't had enough time to have your armour repaired yet so it was slightly damaged. You had given some of your rations away to some younger soldiers because the royal kitchen simply didn't have enough for them. And then of course was your mind. You couldn't focus on anything other than the conversation you and Aegeus shared the previous night.
But you had to focus on other things. Like leading your troops towards the battlefield.
The Nether roof glowed, and a thick blanket of smoke covered the netherrack, creating an ominous setting that caused a wave of unease to wash over you. The whole area made the hairs on the back of your neck stick up, your mind buzzing as you scanned your surroundings, searching for emergency escape routes and such.
It was strange, to be so uncomfortable and unsafe in your own home. Your own territory. The very place you were born, brought up and raised up in. But this was war. It is full of pain, tragedy, rage and, most commonly, loss. You just hoped your side didn't have to experience too much of that.
As you walked across the barren wasteland you called home, you felt like an unsettling sense of deja vu, something rather strange as you were sure you had never taken this path to war or battle before. You knew this place like the back of your hand, there was no way you had done this very thing in this very place before.
Though, now that you looked at the back of your hand, you realised that maybe you didn't know the place that well seeing as you had a rather old-looking scar across the back of your hand that you had never noticed. If you didn't know what the back of your hand looked like, how on earth were you meant to know where you were?
You began to panic, taking in your surroundings at a much faster pace, your head turning from side to side, eyes flickering from left, right and centre. Your breathing began to speed up, your armour suddenly felt just mildly too heavy, your sword too long and your bow too thin.
Yep. Definitely panicking. So, you decided to do the trick your mother taught you all those years ago. You tapped your fingertips against your thumb, missing your ring finger on purpose, hoping that this would distract you.
But right as you started to do so, you realised why you hadn't done this technique in a while. You were too good at it. You could tap your fingers and miss the one with perfect precision every time, without even focusing.
Therefore, instead of calming yourself down, you seemed to make yourself more stressed, now also thinking of ways to lessen your panic.
All of a sudden, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Your hand flew to the hilt of your sword as you turned your head to look at the person with eyes full of panic. This was it. This would be how the war would begin and end. The ex-princess, now army general, being brutally murdered on their way to battle.
Only it wouldn't be. You were just paranoid. It wasn't a either skeleton standing behind you, or anyone else who wanted you dead. It was simply just Aegeus. He jumped back slightly when he saw your hand fly to your sword but still remained near you.
"Woah, Woah. Easy. It's just me" Aegeus said, raising his hands to show he was unarmed. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and dropped your hands to your side, slowing down your walking pace slightly so you could walk side by side.
"What do you need Aegeus? I'm a little busy" you questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.
You watched as Aegeus looked you up and down before his face softened slightly. "well, originally, I came to ask you if you had spoken to Technoblade yet but, judging by the way you're acting, you definitely haven't. In fact, it looks as if you've been panicking"
"Aegeus, we are marching to war. I think I'm allowed to mildly panic" you stated with no emotion on your face, trying to make yourself so blank that even Aegeus couldn't read you. Though, you should have known that was impossible.
"Firstly, that" he began, pointing at your face, "is not 'mild panic'. Secondly, you're not panicking about the war because you need to; you're panicking about the war to distract yourself from your other reason to panic. Yours and Technoblade's feelings" he stated.
"Fuck you," you sighed, looking away from him.
"Maybe I could just go and get him"
"Get who?"
"Technoblade"
"No" you quickly shot back, eyes wide.
"Yes"
"No"
"No"
"Yes"...."No, wait. Ah, fuck"
Aegeus laughed in triumph, raising his fists to the sky as you crossed your arms and grumbled about how annoying he was. You only had your lack of sleep to blame for how easily you fell for that one. How cliche of you.
You turned your head to look at Aegeus only to find him gone. And when you looked further back into the crowd of your soldiers, you saw his head bobbing up and down as he ran through them, a perfect division of soldiers as they rushed to get out of the Piglin's way.
You huffed slightly as you laughed at the absurdity of it all. You were marching to war with a man who previously despised you, though is now one of your closest friends and you were simultaneously being set up with your other ally whom you had been endlessly flirting with (unknowingly) for the last three months and had nearly kissed only a few nights ago before completely ignoring him so you didn't have to deal with the emotions that came with the attachment issues you so clearly had but elected to ignore.
Maybe you should see your therapist again.
No time for thinking about your mental health, you had skeletons to kill. Though, you only wish you could kill a few now as you heard the quiet mumbling of the soldiers behind you come to a stop, no doubt thanks to the pigman you had just been dreading to see.
In the corner of your eye, you saw Technoblade fall into position, now walking at your side, steps matching yours. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before one of you finally decided to speak up.
"Is there a reason why Aegeus so suddenly decided to want to switch positions with me?" Technoblade questioned, turning his head to look at you.
"No idea" you quickly responded, not returning his glance.
Technoblade hummed for a second, deep in thought. "That's strange because he had a very mischievous smile on his face"
"I'm more intrigued as to why you actually did as he asked. I overheard you the other day yelling at one of my soldiers for questioning if they could switch positions yet, here you stand, switching positions. Hypocrite"
He stammers, trying to think of something but ultimately failing. He rolls his eyes before sighing: "I- Aegeus told me you were panicking. I wanted to make sure you were alright"
"Oh...I'm fine, thanks" you said, dismissing any and all feelings that began buzzing around your body, deciding that now was not the time. "I recommend you stop worrying about me for the rest of this battle as it might risk the safety of yourself and any others around"
"You don't understand, do you?" Technoblade scoffed, rubbing his temples for a moment before turning to look at you with an intense emotion within his eyes, an emotion you couldn't quite place. "If I had to risk the lives of every soldier here to keep you alive, I would do so without a second thought"
Your heartbeat quickened. Your breathing quickened. Were you blushing? No, you physically couldn't. Though, you were definitely heating up. You had to shut this down quickly.
"Technoblade, I don't think you understand" you began, now finally turning to look at him. "If I needed to be killed to secure the safety and protection of my soldiers and my people, I would gladly kill myself. If there was, even in the smallest amount, any hope that I could get my people home, I will get it done no matter how much harm comes to myself in the process. So, I recommend you stop caring about me and be prepared to kill me if you have to"
You stared at Technoblade with a range of emotions on your face. Eventually, you turned your head away and began to focus on the trek ahead of you. You sped up slightly, hoping to escape Technoblade's presence as much as you could and, to your luck, he decided not to speed up with you.
The rest of the journey was held in an awkward silence between you and Technoblade, with you, on occasion, talking to the soldiers that were stationed behind you. But, other than that, the tension within the air had never been thicker.
(a/n
2 months. It took 2 months for me to finally work up the courage to write again. But, as you can tell, I have decided to keep updating this story mainly as I use writing as an escape from reality so I'm going to continue using it as such. With school starting in 3 days for me, updates will be becoming more common as I'll procrastinate more. Apolgies if any of this doesn't make sense, I'm very tired and have spent my entire 2-month summer working 2 full-time jobs.
Anyways, enjoy)