Owlpaw's gaze was directed towards the pale gray sky as snow fell in lazy flurries down towards the ground. The forest floor had become covered in a thin layer of snow and the air had become colder and colder which each passing day. Leaf-bare had finally arrived and with it would come endless troubles including less prey, less herbs and sickness. Honeyfrost and Pebblestep especially had been working hard to be prepared and it almost seemed like there wasn't anything Owlpaw could do to help.
She had found herself once again feeling like she was constantly in the way and getting under their paws. Neither of them had said anything but she couldn't help but notice that all of the difficult and more intensive tasks had been take care of by the older medicine cats whereas Owlpaw was still doing basic tasks like treating elders and checking on the nursery full of kits.
Owlpaw did the work without complaining, she knew that this was a serious time and she still had a lot to learn and she was still an apprentice but Owlpaw couldn't help but feel a deep longing in her chest for something more. She did her best to suppress these feelings but over the last few days it felt like a thorn in her flank.
"Owlpaw!" Honeyfrost's voice suddenly broke in her train of though and Owlpaw whipped around to face her mentor. Honeyfrost was giving her a look of confusion, even though Owlpaw drifting off into thought was nothing new.
"Sorry." Owlpaw dipped her head. "What did you say?" She asked, her belt burning slightly from embarrassment.
"I was going to ask you to go collect some herbs. In all the preparation for leaf-bare there's a few that Pebblestep and I overlooked."
Owlpaw lifted her head, collecting herbs wasn't the hardest task but it would allow her to get at least something important done. "Of course."
"You should take someone with you." Honeyfrost suggestion. "Someone to help you carry them. We need marigold, burdock root and some juniper berries. Anything else you see along the way feel free to grab as well. Thank you, Owlpaw."
"Of course." Owlpaw dipped her head and turned out of the medicine cat den, she didn't want to waste any time. She knew exactly who she wanted to bring with her because they hadn't had any time to spend together. As she stepped into the snowy camp she looked around until she found the mottled black pelt of her sister.
"Blossompaw!" Owlpaw called and she ran over to her littermate who was standing with Mudfall.
"Hi, Owlpaw." Blossompaw's ears perked up and her eyes lit up at the sight of her. "Did you need something?"
Owlpaw briefly looked to Mudfall and hoped she wasn't interrupting anything. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to come gather some herbs with me. Honeyfrost asked me to gather a few things and I could use some help carrying it all back."
Blossompaw looked to her mentor. "Can I go with her? Please?"
"Of course, Blossompaw." Mudfall waved his tail. "You've been training hard lately, something like herb gathering might be just what you need."
His comment made Owlpaw slightly nervous and she turned her gaze to Blossompaw. Is she over training again? While Owlpaw had been gone she had heard that Blossompaw had essentially overworked herself to the point of collapse which had her feeling concerned. "Well let's get going before all the herbs freeze!" Blossompaw nudged Owlpaw with her muzzle and the two sisters walked away from Mudfall.
Once they were outside of the main camp, Owlpaw asked the burning question. "You're not overworking yourself again, are you?" She asked quietly.
"No." Blossompaw ducked her head, her ears going back slightly. "I just like training, okay?" Her tone was definitely defensive.
"You know you can talk to me, right, Blossompaw?" Owlpaw assured her. "We're sisters."
"I know." Blossompaw sighed, there was clearly something else going on but Owlpaw didn't know what. "I just--" She stopped for a moment, staring at her paws. "It feels like I'm so far behind our brothers. Rushpaw and Oakpaw don't struggle at all with hunting anymore but I do. I almost ruined Bramblestrike's warrior assessment because of my failures."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Owlpaw stepped closer to her sister, wrapping her tail around Blossompaw's shoulders.
"I didn't want anyone to judge me, I don't know if anyone else could understand what I'm going through. You're doing great as a medicine cat and our brothers are already turning into great warriors."
Owlpaw's gaze drifted downwards. "Of course I understand, Blossompaw. I failed at being a warrior, I couldn't hunt, I couldn't fight. That's why I became a medicine cat, but I'm not a great medicine cat."
"What do you mean?" Blossompaw raised her head. "You're an amazing medicine cat. You told us all the great stories about healing Berryheart and Leafdawn, and how you saved the MountainClan deputy!"
Owlpaw let out a sigh, she did do all those things, but she hadn't done anything nearly as useful since then. "That was outside of the Clan. Since I got back it feels like I'm only in the way. I don't know if it's just because I'm bad at what I do or if the medicine cat den is crowded with three medicine cats." She thought painfully back to the birth of Petalbreeze's kits. There was only two of us in there. "But even when Petalbreeze was giving birth, I was nothing but in the way and Honeyfrost had to send me out so she could take care of it herself." Owlpaw slumped her shoulders. "I just feel like a bumbling kit, just like I did when I was a warrior apprentice."
The two sisters were silent for a moment before Blossompaw responded. "I think you're doing a great job, Owlpaw. You will make a great medicine cat and you'll find your paws soon enough."
Owlpaw lifted her head to look at Blossompaw and let out a tiny laugh. "Thank you, but shouldn't you take your own advice?"
Blossompaw let out an awkward chuckle. "I'll try."
Owlpaw touched her muzzle to Blossompaw's cheek. "That's all you have to do, as long as you're trying, then you're doing a great job."
Blossompaw's eyes softened. "Thank you, Owlpaw. I'm so glad that I have you around."
"Of course." Owlpaw waved her tail happily. "We're sisters afterall."
Blossompaw gave a soft purr. "Now we should probably go find those herbs!"
"That's probably a good idea." The two she-cats set out into the first to go searching for the herbs that Honeyfrost requested. The first place they went to was a cluster of juniper bushes near the AshClan border.
Owlpaw began carefully picking the blue-colored berries from the spiky leaves. She glanced briefly over at her sister who seemed to be lost in thought looking over the border. "Everything alright?" Owlpaw called to her.
Blossompaw shook her head. "Yeah, just thinking." She padded over to the juniper bush and started picking the berries as well.
"What are you thinking about?"
She hesitated for a moment, staring intently at the small berries at her paws. "I actually had a question for you. About Slatepaw."
"Slatepaw?" Owlpaw had barely thought about the arrogant AshClan apprentice since the gathering, she had much more pressing issues on her mind. "What about him?"
"Was he as insufferable during your journey as he was at the gathering?"
"Pretty much." Owlpaw sighed as she recalled the constant verbal abuse and insults from Slatepaw. "He never said anything kind to anyone except maybe Leafdawn, and even then he was always testing her and disrespecting her. I've never met a more disrespectful cat. He would help out by hunting and I suppose he fought well when we got attacked, and he saved me but he made sure to insult me as soon as he did so.
"He didn't like Mountainstar when we first met her and wanted me to leave Nettleheart behind to die before insulting rogues. He helped when we were giving battle training to the MountainClan warriors but he was very reluctant and was honestly kind of mean to them so Leafdawn forced him to step away and just made him hunt instead. He was pretty awful."
"Oh my goodness." There seemed to be a horrified look in Blossompaw's eyes. "I didn't realize he was that bad, I knew he was arrogant and rude but I didn't think he was so terrible."
"Yeah." Owlpaw sighed again, wrapping her collected berries in an oak leaf. "Why do you wanna know?"
"I encountered him on the border while I was hunting the other day, and as always he insulted me but I was just wondering how bad he actually was." Blossompaw shrugged. "Oh well, he's not our Clanmate, not my problem." Something seemed off about Blossompaw's words, but Owlpaw was sure it was nothing.
"Exactly, he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with me. He's AshClan's problem now."
Blossompaw laughed in agreement and the two of them go to work gathering the rest of the herbs. Owlpaw's thoughts roamed as they did so, she was still curious about why Blossompaw was so curious in Slatepaw, but Blossompaw had always been curious. I'm sure it's nothing. I'm just glad I got to spend some time with my sister, I know that I will always be able to depend on her.