A/N: Two Updates in a day!?!?!?Don't forget to read the previous chapter :)
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"How should we do this?" Hermione asked, pulling out some presents from Mount Giftmore.
"Why don't we start with stockings?" Sirius said, grabbing them from the fireplace.
"Yes, I agree." Severus sipped some eggnog. "I do believe that the gift unwrapping portion of our day may take a while."
"Who should start?" Draco asked, yanking his stocking from Sirius's hand.
"I believe we should go oldest to youngest." Remus gazed warily at the gifts. "I also feel the youngest might take some time."
"Oh, come now, Remmy," Annie said, yawning and snuggling up to him. "She's so cute and the main attraction anyway."
"Yes, but I would like to make it through Christmas before our child is walking."
"I do believe," Severus said, cutting off the couple's bickering, "that means Minerva goes first."
"Are you assuming my age?" the Transfiguration professor asked, crossing her arms.
"Seeing as you've been a professor since before any of us were born, I just figured…"
"She's messing with you, Snape," Regulus said, taking a scone from the dish Dora handed him. "Are these edible?"
"Mum baked them," the metamorphmagus replied. "So, probably."
"Where is Andy?" Narcissa asked, taking a scone herself.
"She's coming later. She said she wasn't interested in this year's Christmas tour of the headmaster's office and dressing drawers."
"And for that, I am eternally grateful," Severus mumbled.
Minerva smirked and reached into her stocking. Out came several soft-back books. Narcissa blushed when she caught sight of the pictures on the front.
"Well, I'll say…" Minerva's smile widened as she pulled out some whiskey. "Romance novels and liquor, this person knows me too well."
"And bath bombs?" Hermione's nose scrunched. "Professor, no offense, but you don't seem the type…"
"To enjoy a relaxing bath in the prefects' bathrooms?"
Dora cocked her head. "It's the prefect's bathrooms. Are professors allowed?"
"Oh, try and convince me you and Severus haven't rendezvoused there."
"It's the one place we haven't," she mumbled.
"And with that," Severus said quickly. "I believe it's Narcissa's turn."
"Wait! Doesn't she have to guess who it's from?" Harry asked, brow furrowed. "I thought the point was to try and guess who your Secret Santa was."
Sirius nodded. "Yes, but I do believe your headmaster was trying to move conversations away from his personal life, again…"
"Well, I do believe these are muggle romance novels," Minerva said, smiling. "And so that leaves three possible people. One just gave away that she wouldn't have bought bath bombs, and I do believe I just had a conversation with this person not too long ago about my love of this brand of whiskey…" She turned to Annie. "Thank you so much, Annabeth."
"You're welcome," Annie replied, nodding.
"Why don't we just have Annie go next and then whoever gave the gift goes next?" Neville asked. "No offense, but I don't want to get into a fight about Regulus's age or whether time traveling adds to or detracts from your current age."
"We could just let me go twice," Regulus said.
"How would that fix anything?"
"Okay, I agree," Sirius said. He turned to his friend's girlfriend. "Annie, would you do us the pleasure?"
Annie's arm disappeared in her stocking. She brought out more paperback books that made Narcissa's blush deepen. Remus choked, patting his chest.
"Well, I would almost like to believe that this is Minerva, if it weren't for this lovely title." Annie held up one entitled, Me and My Werewolf Boyfriend.
"So, that means there's five books about werewolves," Harry said, coming over to read the book jacket.
"Yes, however there is only one that isn't prejudiced," Remus said, glaring at the description. "It's definitely not this one."
Sirius looked at the cover photo. "I don't know. From where I sit, this book makes werewolves look quite good."
"Moving on," Annie said, going in deeper to the stocking. She pulled out a perfume bottle. "Oh, it's lovely!" She spritzed a bit in the air. "It's my favorite! I forget why I stopped wearing this."
Remus's face turned green. "I think I recall…"
"So, werewolf romance novels and perfume that makes Remus wretch." The muggle smirked. "I would say Sirius."
"No," Regulus said, smiling. "The much younger-and handsomer-Black."
"Regulus Arcturus…" Narcissa scolded. The young man rolled his eyes.
"I guess that means it's my turn," the younger Black said, reaching in. Out came handfuls of books. "Books on modern wizarding history, a few on personal computers and phones, a muggle series called Babysitters Club?" He glared at the teens. "Very funny. A new broom? And new robes?"
"You needed them…" Hermione mumbled under her breath.
"Aha! Seeing as most of this is muggle anyway, I would guess that Miss Granger is the culprit!"
"And you would be wrong."
"What?" Regulus's brow furrowed.
"Well," Draco said, "you and Sirius are completely different sizes, so sharing clothes doesn't make sense…"
"Et, tu, Brute?"
"Yes, it was me." Draco rolled his eyes as he dove into his stocking head first. He came out with… "Are these muggle shirts?"
"It would appear so," Hermione said, taking a few and feeling them. "They're very soft."
"And a box of pranks?" the blond held up a Weasley Wizard Wheezes box.
"Which I'm sure Argus will love to have around," Severus mumbled to himself.
"And quidditch gear?"
"Perfect timing, too." Harry knocked on one of the kneepads. "Our next match is in three weeks."
"And finally, How to Make it in the Muggle World."
"Sirius definitely could have used that when we graduated Hogwarts," Remus mumbled to himself. He turned to Annie, whose brow furrowed. "He almost set the apartment on fire twice."
"I think I know who it is," Draco said, turning to his girlfriend. "It has to be Hermione." He smirked. "You tried to throw me off with a box of pranks and quidditch gear."
"Why does everyone keep thinking it's me?" Hermione asked, throwing her hands in the air.
"I believe it's the number of books that have come up thus far," Luna said, taking a sip of Severus's eggnog.
Harry snatched it away. "Yes, and Uncle Sev hasn't even been mentioned yet."
"I believe it's because no one knows what to expect from Uncle Sev," Draco added, shaking his head.
"He's gotten me a book every year so far."
"Well, if it isn't Hermione," the blond turned to his best friend, "then it has to be Harry."
"I wish! I really want to go next."
"Wait! Who is it then?"
Severus raised a finger. "I do believe you could easily deduce this. Once you pulled out the quidditch gear, you narrowed it down to five people. I would never get you a box of pranks, because I do not want to hear Filch's droning on and on, so that narrows it down to four. Neither Regulus or Sirius would buy you muggle shirts. This means it is either Harry or Minerva. Since we know it is not Harry…"
"It's me," Minerva said, smiling.
"Yes, that by far was the most random pairing," Sirius said, shaking his head.
"But she already went," Regulus pointed out.
"So, we have the next oldest go."
They all turned to Narcissa.
She sighed. "I really do not want to be labeled second oldest of the room."
Regulus looked at his brother. "Didn't she always want to be the oldest when we were younger?"
"I almost wish she was. Bellatrix led us into a lot of interesting situations," Sirius said. He glared. "That I always ended up getting blamed for."
"Fine," Narcissa sighed. She pulled out a pair of dragon slippers. "Ah, the annual dragon slippers." She paused. "But wait, Draco couldn't have gotten these for me."
Remus turned to her. "Did you name each pair?"
"Yes, after each of my enemies so I could step on them."
"What is with the dragon-themed gifts, Draco?" Neville asked, brow furrowed.
"They named me Draco. They had to assume this would happen," the blond said.
The next to come out were several muggle books. "Oh, this must be from Hermione."
The puffy-haired Gryffindor threw her hands in the air. "Just because I like books does not mean that is all I give for gifts!"
"Is that your way of saying it wasn't you?" Harry asked. She nodded.
"Well, then," Narcissa pulled out a few cookbooks. "I now think this might be Sirius trying to convince me to cook for the next family meal."
"No, I don't want to be poisoned," Sirius said, bouncing his daughter on his lap.
"Then, it's Severus."
"Narcissa, with all due respect, I don't think cookbooks will help anything," Severus said, shaking his head.
Narcissa sighed and pulled out her next gift. "An invitation to Andy's?"
"Oh, for the New Years' Party?" Sirius asked. "Great! That means everyone's invited now!"
"Even Bellatrix?" Luna asked, eyes sparkling.
"If you want to use some of your polyjuice, then sure," Regulus said.
"No," Severus shook his head. "I do not need the headache or paperwork involved in inciting a terror incident."
"Finally," Narcissa pulled out a large book, "a scrapbook full of pictures of Dora."
The entire room to Dora. The metamorphmagus shrugged. "She never knew me growing up, so…"
"I think I know who it is," Narcissa said, brow quirked.
"Alright, my turn!" Dora pulled out several large bars. "Oh, Sev, you've made your point. We all know I like dark chocolate now. I still haven't finished last month's supply."
"Not me, my dear," Severus said, sipping some more eggnog.
"Oh, and some French roast coffee."
"That is a super dark blend," Hermione pointed out, taking a closer look. "So, there seems to be a theme…"
Dora pulled out the next gift. "And the theme is broken: a silver cross necklace!" She unhooked it and pulled it around her neck. "Gramps will be so pleased to see this at dinner this evening."
"Your other grandfather would have been appalled," Narcissa said.
"Eh, he was a wizard. I'm sure he had some past family members burned at the stake. We'll forgive him if he is slightly anti-religion."
"Okay, moving on," Hermione said. "Do you have a guess?"
"Wait! There's one more thing." Dora dug down deep before pulling out her last gift. "What on Earth is this?"
Severus took the pot. "It's a plant." He sniffed. "A garlic plant."
"Why would I get a garlic plant?"
"Well," Neville said, shrugging. "Garlic is the best way to repel vampires."
"As are silver crosses," Hermione pointed out.
"And everyone does think Sev is a vampire," Remus said.
The headmaster glared at his student. "I liked you better when you were deathly scared of me."
"How do you know it was me?" Neville asked, brow furrowed.
"It's a plant." The potions master motioned around the room. "Does anyone else in this room have a green thumb?"
Sirius shook his head. "I would never have guessed that was a garlic plant."
Dora smiled. "I'm guessing it was Neville."
The boy's head dropped. "It was me." He smiled. "Which means it's my turn." He pulled out the first gift. "Look, it's a box of chocolates."
"Hopefully not a charmed one," Draco said, staring disinterestedly at his fingernails. "I have no desire to go through that again."
"'My Mama once told me, life is like a box of chocolates,'" Regulus said, smirking. Everyone stared at him. "What? I got bored and started flipping through my new books. This one talks about recent movies and gives a few quotes."
"In what movie would they ever use that quote?" Severus asked, eyes-rolling.
"A colonial film called Forrest Gump."
"Oh, I wanted to see that one!" Hermione said, bouncing. "It's supposedly all about history."
"So, did you get me chocolates so you could talk about Forrest Gump?" Neville asked, pulling out his next gift.
"If I had been the one to get this, I wouldn't have gotten a box of pranks."
"Fair enough," the boy said, looking through the container of Wizard Wheezes. He dove back into his stocking. "Oh, look, a book!"
"Still not me!"
"Read the title aloud," Sirius said.
"'How to Get a Girl in Ten Steps'." Neville's brow furrowed. "Does someone really think I need a girlfriend?"
Remus sighed. "Or it could be from someone who thinks everyone needs a girlfriend."
They all stared pointedly at Sirius.
"Yeah, it was me," the animagus said, smiling cheekily. "My turn!" He pulled out the first gift. "Condoms? Really?"
"Whoever it is probably does not want anymore unplanned pregnancies," Severus said, dryly.
Sirius shrugged. "Well, seeing as I currently don't get out much…" He handed them to Remus.
The werewolf's brow furrowed. "These aren't going to help much at this point." He turned to look at Annie's belly.
Dora snatched them from his hand. "Thank you!"
"And whoever it is hopes I might actually plan my own lessons," Sirius said, holding up a lesson planner. He looked pointedly at his best friend.
"Not me, Padfoot," Remus said, shaking his head.
"And some DADA books, and some classroom management books," Sirius listed. He turned to Hermione.
"No! Not me!" Hermione yelled.
"Parenting for Dummies," the animagus read. He sighed and his shoulders sagged. "Come on, guys! She's still alive. I think I'm doing pretty well here."
"Yes," Severus said, rubbing his head. "Because that is what we all want for our children: just for them to still be alive."
"And some hangover potions, and headache potions, and more potions." Sirius smirked. "Why don't we call it?" He turned to his other best friend. "Spots, is it you?"
"How could you ever have guessed?" the dark man asked, smirking.
"Now it's Uncle Sev's turn!" Draco pointed out, smiling widely.
The potions master rolled his eyes, pulling out his gifts. "Well, this first one narrows it down considerably: a 'Best Teacher Ever' mug. Since Draco and Neville have already gone…"
"And Dora," Dora said smugly.
"Dear, I have told you many times never to remind me that I've taught you."
"Yes, but I did want to make the clarification."
Severus sighed. "Next, is a charmed boutonniere."
"How do you know it's charmed?" Annie asked, brow quirked.
"What idiot would give me a boutonniere months before my wedding?"
"Well, I mean," Hermione cut in, "that would narrow it down, too."
"No, I'm using some of my waning hope for the future generation and saying it is an everlasting charm," the headmaster said. He picked up his next gift. "Chocolate, which appears to be perfunctory at this point." Then, he picked up a bottle. "A potion."
"I wonder what kind," Dora said, taking the bottle.
"Hmm, a student who is both good at charms and potions," Severus said, staring pointedly at Hermione.
"I'm not the only student here good at charms and potions," the Gryffindor girl stated.
"Out of the students I have to pick from, you are my top choice."
"And I would never get you a subscription to the Quibbler," Hermione said, picking up the next gift. "If my friend's dad wasn't the publisher, I wouldn't even touch it on principle."
Harry looked at his girlfriend. "Luna, I feel you might have made this a little too obvious."
"If not the subscription," Regulus picked up another gift, "I think the matching nargle finding glasses do the trick."
"Thank you, Miss Lovegood," Severus said, putting his things back into the stocking. "What is the potion, may I ask?"
"An aura-reading potion," Luna responded, smiling.
"Ah." He pulled the potion away from Dora.
"My turn," the Ravenclaw chirped. She grabbed her stocking. "Oh, look! Some new quills! Just what I needed." She continued to dig. "And this journal is lovely. It sparkles!"
"Is she going to be this chipper every morning?" Draco asked his friend.
"Why do you care? You won't be living with her," Harry said.
"You mean, we aren't all going to live in a mansion together?"
"Out of the ten properties we own, I don't think we need to live together all the time."
"Ah," Sirius gushed. "This sounds like the first fight we had out of Hogwarts, Moony."
"Except we did have to live together, because James was the only one with any property," Remus said, pouring himself another cup of tea.
"Yes, and I'm sure he would have loved to have the two of you living with him and his new bride," Severus said, dryly.
"It was a fair enough assumption. I mean, we lived together before the wedding," Sirius said. He crossed his arms. "Even after, we had our own guest room."
"Rooms. Separate, guest rooms," Remus corrected quickly.
"Moving on," Harry said quickly.
"And a third beautiful outfit!" Luna listed, holding up the robe she probably never would have picked for herself. "Whoever this is, they are too kind."
"If you are going to be fanatic over each of these outfits," Draco started, "then how about we move on to the guessing portion of this game. Because, I am aware of who got these for you, and knowing them, there are twenty more outfits."
"Oh, I just can't decide!" Luna twirled around the room. "Everyone I would have guessed has already gone."
Neville shrugged. "Harry hasn't."
"Yes, but I know who he has because I helped him."
"Okay, I think Draco gave you a pretty good clue," Hermione said, rubbing her eyes. "Who, in this room, does Draco know best?"
"But, Hermione, it's not you…"
"No! It was Narcissa. Narcissa got you twenty-nine beautiful outfits. I know, because I helped her, too."
Sirius huffed. "We weren't supposed to help each other."
"Oh, come on, Sirius. We all know you helped Siria."
"How else was she supposed to get something?" the man asked, glaring. "Was I supposed to send her off with a bag full of money and say, 'Go on, darling! Have fun!'"
"Well, seeing as Narcissa cannot go again, I think it is Remus's turn," Hermione said.
Everyone in the room stared at her.
"It's freaky how you figured that out so quickly," Neville said.
"I'm smart. Get over it."
"Okay, my turn," Remus said, trying to avoid World War Three. "Okay, first, some books." He looked pointedly at Hermione.
"Nope."
He shook his head, and then his eyes narrowed. "I think I heard something." He dug in a bit. "Ow! Something scratched me."
"Well, you should be more gentle with it," Sirius said. He blushed, "Or so I've heard."
Remus pulled out the squirming gift. "An orange tabby cat."
"Kitten."
"Okay," Remus cocked his head. "I want to say it's Sirius, but he's already gone."
"I'll take that for you, dear, so you can continue," Annie said, taking the kitten.
"Thank you. Next...tick and flea medicine. Well, that's useful…"
Sirius nodded. "Especially after that incident fifth year…"
'Which we swore we'd never talk about…"
Severus perked up. "I have to hear this…"
"Next up, some squeaky toys," Remus said, his nose scrunching. "That are a bit slobbery. Okay, that means it is definitely Sirius."
"Oi!" Sirius's brow furrowed. "I would never slobber on your gifts."
'But someone who's teething might," Remus replied, pulling Siria onto his lap. "How about you help me, darling." Siria giggled. "We have dog food...why not cat food?"
"Because cat food was on the next shelf up."
"What?"
"Siria couldn't reach it."
"Wait!" the werewolf quirked a brow. "Are you telling me Siria did pick out my presents?"
"Of course she did!" Sirius huffed.
"But why are they all pet-related?"
"Because I took her to a pet store, said, 'Ok, sweetie. Time to pick out presents for Uncle Moony', and I let her crawl around."
"And only bought the things she could touch?"
"Exactly, I bought everything she touched."
"She touched a kitten?"
Sirius shrugged. "Through a cage."
Remus shook his head. "A dog bone, cat nip...at least that's useful. A leash, a dog sweater-and look, Padfoot, it's your size."
"Yeah, I knew I was going to regret buying that."
"Well, here are some nice, human-sized sweaters," Annie pointed out. "They're soft, too. Siria has good taste."
"And why on Earth would I want a nursery catalog?"
"Because you're going to have a baby?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "I can pick up a magazine anywhere."
"Read the note," Sirius said, sighing.
"All to be paid for from the 'Young Moony' fund set up by Sirius Black." Remus's eyes narrowed. "Young Moony Fund?"
"Did he just say he was going to pay for our whole nursery?" Annie asked.
"Yes, but he couldn't have thought of a better name than 'Young Moony'?"
"I think you're skipping over the fact he just said he would pay for our whole nursery."
"It's Sirius. He does that. You get used to it."
"True. He tried to pay for our wedding," Severus said.
"With that," Narcissa said, rolling her eyes. "I do believe it is Siria's turn."
"How are we going to convince her to stick her hand in and pull something out?" Draco asked.
"She's not actually going to open her stocking. Someone will have to help her."
Nine hands raised. Severus glared at Sirius.
"You do realize you don't have to raise your hand to have control of your daughter," the potions master said.
"Really? I thought we were raising her by committee," Sirius said, brow furrowed.
The dark man shook his head. He walked over and picked the tot up from Remus's lap and took her stocking.
"Okay, darling. Let's open your gifts from your Secret Santa."
"But, wait…" Neville raised his hand. "How is she going to guess?"
"Well, by my estimation," Minerva said, "it can only be Remus, Harry, or Hermione. We could always take a vote ourselves."
"See," Regulus said. "We are raising her by committee."
"Fine," Sirius sighed. He pointed at the three finalists. "But they don't get a say, then."
Severus rolled his eyes and the edges of the stocking. "Good. Now that we have that decided: Siria, what do you see?"
The tot giggled, turning and grabbing Severus's nose. Dora giggled. "Other than Uncle Sev."
Siria giggled again and grabbed at the stocking edge.
"Very good, Siria," Severus said gently. "What's inside?"
The girl saw something sparkly and grabbed it.
"Look at that," Dora said. "A glittery bow."
The headmaster smiled. "Good show, Siria. What else do you see?" The girl picked up a squishy lion. "Of course, three Gryffindor suspects."
"Oh, and you would've gotten her a snake?" Remus asked.
"I mean, there are still fifty looking for good homes," Harry said.
"For the last time, Potter. My daughter is not getting a pet snake," Sirius said.
"Just watch: she'll be sorted into Slytherin and begging for a pet snake."
"I do believe she'll end up in Slytherin, though," Severus said.
"How are you so sure she won't end up in Gryffindor? At the age of four months, she slipped away from her caretakers and caused trouble. That's a pretty Gryffindor trait if I do say so myself," Regulus said.
"Yes, but she has manipulated everyone in this room into adoring her, so much so as to work with their most detested enemies."
"Oh, come now!" Remus humphed. "You've been friends with Sirius way longer than she's existed."
"I was speaking of Narcissa," Severus said, continuing to pull out more gifts for Siria. "And here's a lovely muggle baby book on animals."
"Well, then, that does it. We know the gift giver is Snape-approved," Draco said. "It has to be Harry."
"The one time it's actually me!" Hermione burst. "The one-time I actually am the Secret Santa, and it's definitely Harry?"
"Well, I guess we don't have to vote," Annie said, smiling.
"Then, it's my turn." Hermione pulled over her stocking.
Meanwhile, Severus and Siria were still pulling out gifts. "Miss Granger, how many toys, dresses, and books are there?"
"My parents are well-paid dentists and my boyfriend feels the need to use some of his massive fortune for my basic needs. I haven't had to pay for anything since third year." She shrugged. "I invested the majority but I figured this was the perfect time to spoil the next generation of Black children."
Harry turned to Draco. "We need to get her a hobby."
"We didn't do much better," the blond said, pointing to the mound of gifts.
"Well, let's see: perfumes, chocolates, books, earrings, and other assorted jewelry. All of which were probably picked out by Draco, which means Harry," Hermione said, turning to her friend. "Thank you!"
Harry cocked his head. "I wonder who my gifts are from?"
Everyone in the room stared.
"You don't know?" Severus asked, still pulling out bows.
"Well it's Secret Santa," Harry said as he began to pull out gifts.
"This is the one who saved the world from the dark lord multiple times?" Narcissa asked.
Draco shrugged. "To be fair, Voldemort did knock him around a bit."
"Ooh, goodie! Another sweater!" Harry announced, much in the same fashion as his girlfriend had earlier.
"Should we tell him?" Sirius asked.
Remus shook his head. "Let's see how long it takes him."
"Chocolate, a Rubix cube, and DADA...oh, it must be Remus!" Harry exclaimed.
"Oh, must it?" Severus asked, quirking a brow while pulling out another stuffed toy. "Whyever do you say that?"
"Well, it's the same DADA books he got me last time around."
"That's what gave it away?" Regulus asked. "Not that he was the only one to not have given a gift yet?"
"How was I supposed to remember?"
"How about we move on to the gift opening portion of the morning?" Dora suggested, moving toward the tree.
"Not to ruin this lovely moment of actually getting to gift-opening…" Annie started, "but I think the baby's coming."
"No, the baby's over there," Luna said, pointing to Severus and Siria, who were still opening her stocking.
"The other baby."
"The other baby?" Remus asked, eyes widening. "The baby that isn't due still for a few more weeks?"
"No, the other, other baby."
Sirius turned to his baby cousin. "Dora, you didn't tell us…"
The metamorphmagus glared. "Trust me, this is not how I'd be announcing it."
"I do believe we need to leave," Remus said, helping his girlfriend up.
"Gift-giving after the baby, then."
CHAPTER END
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