Seven months and I'm free. One month and I might get to go to the city. No fights, no backtalk, no curfew violations. Kym has kept clean, too. Max, on the other hand, did not last long; as he predicted, a poor choice of words in the presence of the wrong person removed him from the lottery. A surprising number of kids are still in the running, among them Wassim, Telarria, and Pinnow. The Bludgeoning Brothers were caught shaking a girl down for her pocket change within the first few days.
Countless legends play out before us in the clear night sky. Conquerors, mages, philosophers, humble heroes. They tell us their stories as we rest on the still-warm sand of the shore, the tales accompanied by the gentle in and out of the tide. The salt of the sea fills our noses, enhanced by the remaining yet waning heat. Our rolled coats act as pillows, my hand intertwined with hers in a comfortable and casual embrace. We don't speak of the gesture. To do so would bring it to life, and for now it must remain in this pleasant purgatory. The thought remains, the want, the hope. But the words stay locked away, and I am without a key.
"There!" Kym points at a cluster of stars. "Neqinerei's raven, Sisateniun."
"Ah," I say when the bird's form takes shape, "the sneaky little murderer."
"It's not her fault people might die when she's up to her master's trickery," Kym suggests. "You gotta crack some eggs to make an omelet, right?"
"Careful, don't want Sister Signe hearing you say that," I warn with a gentle smirk. "She might think you're a Neqinerei worshiper."
"And if I was?" she asks. "What would you think?"
The swell and recession of the tide fills my brief silence.
"As long as I'm in on the mischief, and not the target, it doesn't bother me," I answer, turning my head to look at her.
"What if I killed someone?" The question comes quieter, more cautious. Her eyes stay on the stars, but even in the dying light the dark orbs scream with fear.
"Have you killed someone?" I ask, my tone light to avoid sincerity.
"No." Her lips pull into a humored smile, the tension gone. Her eyes meet mine, her tight tiny curls resting on her cheekbones. "It's only hypothetical."
"Just don't kill me," I tell her, my own smirk growing. "I'd be really upset if you killed me."
"I would be, too," she says with a soft chuckle.
The calm oceanic rhythm plays in the background as we lie still, connected at the eyes in a sweet comfortable silence. She's so close. It would be so easy to just lean over, to make that first move, to press my lips to hers. Instinct implores me, screams at me. Just get closer. She's right there. You can do this. Her eyes wait for it, beg for it, I'm sure of it. The courage in me roars to life, a purposeful fire lighting the night. I inch toward her, my mouth beginning to form the proper shape to accept hers. My eyelids come to a close, and before a brief darkness takes over she mirrors my advance.
A bell, large and loud, beckons. We jolt up, our hands still clasped but our gaze shooting back to the Tower. The sound comes again, the chilling toll of doom bringing us to our feet.
"Shit, curfew!" the realization comes in a panic.
We release each other quick, collect our rolled-up coats, and climb the dune. Silhouetted on the western horizon stands the Tower of Lost Children. Its tall slender stature rests on a ridge. Its spire spikes high into the sky, the lantern below burning bright like a devil's eye. Though the belfry is dark, the bell within rings out. Jutting out from the side of the tower is a smaller construction, only one story tall. At the base of the rocks, a rectangular building of light grey bricks judges us for being out too late. Behind the main tower is another, this one built on the flat earth. It stretches to meet its brother halfway. Several yards in front of it, out in the open, stalks the last building: ten feet tall, round, its stones charred and smooth and windowless, only a solid wooden door breaking its surface. Baltevmt's Maw, reserved only for the worst offenders, watches as we pass. With summer coming to a close, so does its name. After autumn passes and we slip into winter, it will don its other moniker: The Frozen Chamber.
The bell taunts us with more ringing, laughing as it tells us we won't make it inside before its eight and final chime. We push ourselves hard, legs pumping faster and faster to bring us closer evermore to the Tower's entrance at the bottom of the ridge. My strides are longer than hers, but Kym keeps up without much extra effort.
Five...
Six...
Seven...
The door swings open free and easy as we collide with the wood. We trample to a stop just inside, hearts pounding as we catch our breath. The door shuts with a gentle click behind us, and as our eyes meet once more we break into a relieved laughter. The bell's finale rings out until it fades into silence, as does our delight.
"That was close," Kym says between exhales.
"Right?" I say back, trying to catch my breath as well.
If there was a time to make my move, it's now. With adrenaline coursing through my veins, it would be even easier than the moment on the beach. We fall back into that comfortable quiet staring contest. My hand finds its way into hers once more. Her fingers interlock with mine, and her smile glistens. We come together, stepping close with such blissful expectancy. My free hand rises to her cheek to hold it with a gentle touch. My thumb caresses her skin, so soft and warm. Her hand finds my waist and pulls me in until our bodies touch. Our heads inch their way toward each other, eager lips tingling with desire and soul-tethered need. For a short, beautifully dangerous moment, there is only Kym and myself. I would live here forever if I could, savor it for as long as possible. The only thing better would be the kiss itself, that sweet collision of longing and fulfillment wrapped in romance's innocent embrace.
I can almost feel her lips on mine already.
"Hi," the child's voice shatters the moment.
We freeze for an agonizing second. The interruption separates us; we step apart and let go of each other. Bitter mourning of what could have been produces a heated irritation as the interloper stands a few yards from us. Short, blond, and thin, Pinnow's emerald eyes watch from the archway. Naive and ignorant, he offers a polite little smile.
"Hi Pinnow," I grumble. Kym hides her face.
"Are you guys heading to dinner?" he asks. "You've almost missed it."
"Yeah, we're going to dinner," I tell him. "Are you just coming back?"
"No," Pinnow shakes his little blond head. "Janco and Jibara were busy going around being mean to people, and Wassim and Telarria went off somewhere. I've been on my own most of today and kind of forgot about dinner."
Kym stops her hiding, and we exchange a look of pity and worry. She gives a single silent nod before her attention goes to the boy.
"You can come with us, if you want," she says.
Pinnow's face lights up at the offer. He turns in his spot and leads us through the hall. Kym and I look at each other with a brief look that says we could have encountered someone worse. We follow the small boy. Although we are back in the Tower, part of me yearns to hold her hand once more. I hush the desire; part of our unspoken pact prohibits such displays in public spaces. Neither of us would want some of the nastier kids to mock or ridicule us.
"So what were you guys doing out there?" his curiosity gets the better of him.
"Stargazing," I answer with a quick honesty. "It's a good night for it."
"We like to tell each other the stories," Kym adds.
"So are you two a couple then?" Pinnow asks as we round the corner to the dining hall.
The two of us stop, hesitant and answerless. A flash of heat fills my face and reddens my cheeks, an awkward little grin spreading across both of our lips. Our eyes dart from one another to elsewhere, caught in the unknown of how to respond to Pinnow's question. He soon stops as well, finding us several feet behind. Confused, he closes the gap.
"Is everything okay?" he asks. "Did I say something?"
"Nothing you did wrong, don't worry," Kym assures him, adjusting her awkward, or perhaps embarrassed, smile. "Why do you think we're a couple?"
"I dunno," Pinnow shrugs. "You guys are always hanging out together, even if Max isn't around. You go stargazing together. Wassim and Telarria do those kinds of things all the time, and they say they're a couple. So I thought maybe you guys are too."
Kym and I lock eyes once more in the deep awkward silence. Lost for words, we search for something, anything, we could tell him. Do we admit the truth hidden behind locked doors? Do we expose ourselves in such a raw and pure emotion? Do we lay our hearts on the line once and for all, stitch the pulsing bleeding bastards to our sleeves? The thought of that bliss being released sends my heart into a sprint and I don't know if the rest of me can catch up. Three little words bubble up from my gut and sit sweet and serene on my tongue. But my lips do not part, stuck together by some unknown glue.
Her eyes beg, for what I am unsure. Within the same second I see both the longing and the shunning. The hope burning bright and the despair shrouding darkness. The unequivocal yes and the indisputable no.
Kym kneels in front of Pinnow, leaning in close to his ear and covering her mouth to keep her words a secret. His face remains even, unaffected, calm. As she pulls away and returns to her feet, he gives her a small nod. Neither of them address the exchange any further, stepping into the dining hall. I catch Kym by the hand and pull her back with a gentle tug.
"What did you say?" My eagerness betrays my hope.
"None of your business," he responds with a small sly smile and a wink. "Come on, let's get some food."
Her hand slips out of mine as she takes a seat, and though my curiosity refuses to die I follow.