AUTUMN's
Time flies fast.
Parang kailan lang, nasa bar ako nag-eenjoy dahil finally, I am free—I got the freedom I've been wanting. Nagwawalwal. Then I've met Spring that one night, tinakasan ko siya pero unexpectedly he got me pregnant at sa laki ng Manila, akalain mo na nagkatagpo ulit kami. Pinilit ko nanaman siyang takasan pero wala, huli na ako at nahulog na rin ako.
But love is too scary lalo na at walang kasiguraduhan ang lahat.
And in that span of time Spring and I learned how to build a friendship. Pinilit namin na magkasundo para sa—magiging mga anak namin. Yes, twins.
Well, hindi maiiwasan na nabwibwisit ako sa kaniya pero hanggang ganon na lang iyon hindi na lumalala at konting oras lang naman, okay na ulit kami. Wala marurupok eh.
-
Our pregnancy still remained as a secret, kahit family niya or family ko hindi nila alam. Ang hirap lang kasi sabihin sa kanila na magkakaanak na kami because in the first place, everything just happened because of that one night. We were strangers to each other and I think we will remain strangers until the end. Yung mga bata lang naman ang concern namin dito.
And as I've said time flies fast.
I am now admitted and any time now ay pwede na akong manganak.
"Inhale, exhale." Spring instructed me habang nakaalalay ito sa akin. Kasalukuyan kaming nasa loob ng labor room.
I appreciate him for being here by my side though he has been very vocal about his phobia with bloods.
I kept on walking back and fourth despite the every minute contractions that I feel.
"Aaaaww! Hooooh!" I shout in pain as I held tight unto Spring's arm. "S-Sorry." Hingal kong aniya, dahil alam ko na masakit na rin dahil kanina niya pa sinasalo ang mga paghigpit ng hawak ko at nagiiwan iyon ng marka sa braso niya.
"Okay lang! Dito naman sa kabila oh." He said habang nakangiti.
I continued with the cycle. Lalakad, uupo, minsan nakatuon ang dalawang kamay ko sa pader habang nakatayo, minsan nakatayo ako sa gilid ng kamo pero nakasubsob ang mukha ko sa my bed. Si Spring naman nakaalalay lamang sa akin, minsan hinahaplos niya yung lower back ko kapag nakikita na niya akong hirap na hirap.
Pumasok naman ang doctor to check on me.
I laid back on bed as she do what she needed to.
"Maam ililipat ka na namin sa Delivery room." Suddenly I felt cold when I heard her say na delivery room.
Nagpaalam naman saglit ang doctor but she instructed us before she left.
Natatakot ako. Kinakabahan ako. But at the same time I am excited. "Hooooh! Hoooooh!" I released all thw nervousness in my system right now.
I closed my eyes. "You can do this, Autumn. You can. Kaya mo. Kakayanin mo." I motivated myself.
"Do you want me to come with you? Inside the delivery room?" Nagulat ako sa tanong ni Spring but no, ayoko. Alam ko naman na naglalakas lakasan lang din ito ng loob.
"N-no. Kaya ko, hintayin mo kami ha." I said and let out a small smile.
Hindi nagtagal ay pumasok na ang mga nurses, may dala silang isa pang bed na may wheel. They leveled it with the bed where I am laying. They instructed me to transfer carefully though they assisted me naman in transferring.
They wheeled me outside the labor room and proceeded in the delivery room.
Well, I was given options and yeah I chose the painless delivery but it doesn't mean that I won't feel any pain, ofcourse I will but not like the usual na sobrang painful.
And it started.
Giving birth isn't easy. In my case it really wasn't easy lalo na at dalawang bata ang iniluluwal ko. I thought it would take a long time giving birt but no parang nahipan lang ng hangin and boom they are already out of my body.
I only felt relieved when I heard their loud cries then a tear suddenly fell. I am happy, pakiramdam ko buong buo na ako.
Thank God, I delivered them well and ofcourse dahil din sa galing ng doctor ko.
I can't wait to see them pero sa ngayon hinang hina na talaga ako. I want to rest.
SPRING's
"Mister Lacsina?" A doctor approached me.
"Doc? Bakit po Doc? Kamusta na po yung mag-iina ko?" Natatarantang tanong ko.
The doctor smiled first. "Congratulations Mr. Lacsina, healthy ang babies niyo and anytime now ay ililipat na sa private room—" As if on cue Autumn laying on hospital bed is being wheeled out of the delivery room. "Oh ayan na pala ang Misis mo." I smiled when I heard Misis mo.
"Thank you doc!"
-
Andito na kami sa private room, si Autumn tulog pa, syempre hindi naman biro ang manganak, bukod sa normal delivery—imagine two humans coming out of you. Exhausting, right?
A knock was heard and what comes in made my heart melt. My—Our babies.
"Sir? Okay lang po ba gisingin si Maam, need niya na po kasi magpabreast feed." Sa taranta at saya na nararamdam ko ngayon tanging tango na lamang ang naging tugon ko.
"Sir?" Untag muli ng nurse.
"Ay oo nga, gigisingin ko nga pala." Tatawa tawa kong aniya.
Lumapit naman ako sa bed ni Autumn at bahagya siyang tinapik. "Autumn? Tum? Gising na." Mabuti na lamang at madali lamang gisingin si Autumn despite sa pagod na nanalaytay pa rin sa sistema niya.
"Hmmm?"
"Andiyan na ang babies natin." I softly uttered. Nakita ko naman kung paano nagsilandas ang luha sa mga mata niya nang makita na ang kambal.
"Maam, Sir. Iwan na lang po namin ito dito, paki fill-in na lang po ng nga details na hinihingi. Salamat po." The others nurse uttered while the nurse is busy assisting Autumn.
"Thank you. Sige, dadalhin ko na lang mamaya sa may nurse station itong mga papel." Aniya ko.
"Sige na miss, kaya ko na po dito. Andiyan naman yung tatay nila para i-assist ako." Narinig kong aniya ni Autumn.
Habang ang isa ay nagbbreast feed pa kay Autumn, buhat ko naman ang isa. I never knew they can changed my life in a snap. I fell in love with them the moment I saw them.
"Palit na tayo..." She said referring to our babies.
After breastfeeding both of our babies, kinakailangan muna na ibalik sila sa nicu.
"Hmmm you already have names for them?" I asked her. Nakita ko naman siyang bahagyang tumango pero bakas sa mukha niya ang pag aalinlangan.
"Meron na...but if you want, ikaw na lang mag—" I cut her off.
"Ikaw ang nanay nila, ikaw na ang magbigay ng pangalan nila..." Ako naman ngayon ang medyo nagalinlangan sa hihilingin ko. "...Ahm Autumn ah—"
"Damara and Layon J. Lacsina." She said while smiling and that put me in tears. Damara and Layon J. Lacsina. Hindi niya ipinagkait sa mga anak namin ang apelyido ko. She let them carry my surname.
"Hoy bakit ka umiiyak? Parang bakla oh." She jested.
Lumapit naman ako sa kaniya. I held her hands kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Tum." I sincerely uttered and caged her in my hug.
She flinched aftera moment. "Ang drama mo, hindi bagay." and we both laugh.
Hindi ko kailan man pagsisisihan ang one night na nangyari sa amin ni Autumn. That one night in our life gave the greatest blessings we could ask for.
Ngayon, maiinit na mata at judgements naman ang kahaharapin namin. Matatanggap ko naman kung galing ito sa ibang tao at wala rin akpng pakielam sa sasabibin nila, wala naman silang alam.
What I worry is how our families would react and accept this situation of Autumn and I and the twins.
But, for now. Masaya ako. Masayang masaya ako. Autumn and the twin completed me. I am willing to trade everything huwag lang silang mawala sa akin.