"He's so adorable." I mumble, tangled up in thoughts of Zach.
"What, sweetie?" Another volunteer asks with concern as we stand in the ticket booth at the front gate of the Meadow Wood football stadium.
I clear my throat. "We are running low on programs. Why don't I go get some from the storage closet in the snack bar?"
The middle-aged woman frowns. "On those crutches? Are you sure?"
"Positive." I'm itching to get a glimpse of Zach in his football uniform but I'm not going to tell her that. "The doctor says I need to start putting weight on my foot since I got my cast off two days ago."
"All right, then." She reaches into her apron and pulls out three twenties. "Get some smaller bills while you're at it."
"Yes, ma'am." I grab the money and stuff it in my coat pocket.
It's October 27th, six weeks since the infamous pep rally and one day before the semi-formal dance. When I limp toward the stadium in the fading twilight, the autumn air is crisp and cold, like Jack Frost is on the outskirts of town biding his time until the first day of winter arrives. Since cheering is out of the question on my broken ankle, Coach Roberts orders me to help out the football booster club moms at the ticket booth and the bake sale at every home game. I cheerfully comply, but it is excruciating being away from Zach on the sidelines.
On my approach, I glance at the home stands which are a sea of black and red. Hordes of people stand near the fence bobbing in time to an obnoxious techno beat that sounds like something you expect to hear at a square dance. The cheerleaders prance arm-in-arm holding their skirts out like country girls at a hoedown. Bethany's auburn curls bounce with each bob of her head, looking as gorgeous and intimidating as ever in her skimpy uniform with a modest white turtleneck underneath. Katelyn is even worse--blonde, tanned with long, lean legs and an ample chest and envy burns in my throat.
Ugh, she's like Barbie doll. Fake, plastic and perfect.
Slowly, I creep around the fence in search of Zach and find him on the sideline, clutching his helmet in one hand and pushing his bangs off of his forehead with the other. By the looks of it, he is overdue for a trim and I can't help imagining running fingers through his messy, ash brown waves. I slump down on my crutches and shut out the world to indulge in a bad habit: stalking Zach.
There's a sharp tap on my shoulder. "Hey, troublemaker."
I spin around. "Jordan! Sam! Aren't you supposed to be with the band?"
"We snuck away." Although Jordan stands before me, I wouldn't have recognized her in the red and black marching band uniform it weren't for her distinctive glasses.
"Come on, I've got to pee." Sam reaches out and grabs our wrists and pulls us away from the fence. "I didn't have time to go or eat dinner between rehearsal for the musical and the game. Opening night is next weekend."
"Your big debut!" I forget all about Zach and imagine Sam on stage under the spotlight. "I can't wait to see it."
"Well, I only have one line, but I'm also in the chorus, so I'll be on stage a few times," Sam folds her arms over the buttons on her uniform and eyes the restroom, which is a short walk away.
"After all that work backstage, you're finally a thespian!" Jordan says proudly.
"Technically I can't join the International Thespian Society until next year." Sam yanks Jordan's arm and pulls her toward the snack bar, closing her eyes and sniffing the breeze. "Damn, those nachos smell amazing They're calling me."
"'You know you can't eat in your uniform," Jordan wags a finger at Sam.
"I won't tell, if you won't."
"Throw in a hot dog and I'll keep quiet." Jordan winks. "Or else you can kiss first chair goodbye."
Sam turns to me. "Bribery and extortion. Why I do I put up with this?"
"Buy me something too while you're at it." I tease and steal one more glance at Zach over my shoulder. A smile softly curls over my lips.
"Getting your Zach fix?" Jordan nudges me in the ribs.
"You could say that." I giggle.
"You know this schoolgirl crush of yours is bordering on obsession, right?" Sam's tight smile tells me she's joking, but only partly.
"I'm not obsessed. There's something about him. I don't know. I can't get him out of my head. Maybe infatuation is a better word."
That sounds way less crazy. Although my brain tells me that my obsession with Zach is a distraction giving me something to focus on other than my trauma and insecurities, my heart wants to believe it's destiny.
"I get it, I do." Jordan nods. "The vacant blue eyes, the chiseled jaw—"
"That butt." A goofy grin spans Sam's pink face.
Jordan laughs. "Come on, he's got a girlfriend. You should set your sights on someone attainable."
She's right. Zach is out of my league and taken. He is forbidden fruit which makes me want him all the more. "Maybe if I told him how I feel or wait for him to break up with Katelyn it could work out."
Jordan looks at me like I'm delusional. "Those two Meadow Wood's hottest couple. They're not breaking up anytime soon."
"You can't sit around and wait. You should be out there on the prowl." Sam guides us toward the womens restroom and releases a throaty growl.
"Yeah, you're right. My chances would be better with someone else, but there's no one else I like who likes me back."
"Get out! There's got to be some guy throwing himself at you. You're a cheerleader, for crying out loud,." Sam tosses up her hands dramatically.
"Maybe there is someone checking you out all the time." Jordan slips me a knowing smile. "Staring at your legs in geometry?"
"Leo Goodwin!" We blurt out at the same exact moment.
"All you have to do is look his way and flirt a little," Jordan says, "and—"
"You'll get all that attention you'll never get from Zach." Sam has a knack for brutal honesty and I appreciate it, even if it ruffles my feathers.
"Thanks," I groan. "But, Jordan, didn't you warn me to stay away from Leo?"
Jordan holds the restroom door open for me and shrugs. "I did. He can be a jerk sometimes, but he likes you."
"No, not really." I shake my head vehemently. "Leo just likes picking on me."
Sam locks eyes with Jordan. "Are you going to tell her or am I?"
"Rose, he's totally flirting with you." The exasperation in Jordan's voice makes me wonder if I am completely clueless or if she's the one who's got it all wrong.
"Whatever." I duck into an empty stall while Sam and Jordan do the same. "Leo is like that with all the girls. He's a player. I'm not interested."
"Sure." Although I can't see Jordan, I sense she's rolling her eyes at me.
We finish up and I wave goodbye to Jordan and Sam. While they wait in line for the snack bar, I sneak through the side door to access a storage closet and find an opened box of programs. My hands scoop up a dozen and stuff them down the front of my jacket for safekeeping, then I cautiously approach the snack bar volunteers to exchange twenty-dollar bills for fives and ones.
As I swing my crutches toward the ticket booth at the front gate of the athletic field, my mind wanders away from the usual fixation on Zach to a new target: Leo.
Does he really like me? I picture him sitting across from me in public speaking class, giving me a sly, sideways glance with the hint of a grin. Maybe. But do I like him?
Sure Leo is cute, but he's still a boy and acts like one too. Zach, on the other hand, is a man--mature, respectful and well mannered. The answer to my question is obvious.
I only want Zachary Ashburn and if that means staring at him from afar, then so be it.
Determination courses through me and I quicken my pace. I will wait patiently in the wings until Zach is free from Katelyn, then swoop in to catch his attention when the time is comes. If it ever comes.
I sigh and enter the cramped ticket booth. "Here are the programs and money."
"Thanks, sweetie," the booster mom says with a smile.
I stare out into the grassy space in front of the parking lot and spy none other than Leo Goodwin sauntering up with a few other boys I don't know. He's walking right out of my mind and into reality, which is a little disconcerting. I would search for a place to hide, but it's too late because he sees me.
"Josephine, what's up?" Leo nods hello.
"You're wearing a hoop earring instead of the diamond stud?" I stare at the gold loop hanging from his earlobe.
"Yeah, I'm trying something different. Do you like it?"
I shrug. "It looks fine."
"Fine? Or real fine?" He says it with one eyebrow raised and a half smile on his lips.
I suppress a smile, not wanting to inflate his enormous ego. "No comment."
Leo hands me a crisp five-dollar bill out of the pocket of his starter jacket and I pass him his ticket. Instead of walking away he leans over the booth. "So, are you excited for the dance?"
"Yeah, are you?" I stand there, awkwardly, well aware that his friends are watching us with curiosity.
"Definitely. It's going to be tight. I got a new suit and a mask."
"I'm sure your date will like that." I nod, wishing he would just stop talking and I could be out of the spotlight.
He leans even closer to me. "Oh, really? What else will she like?"
I take a step back. "I don't know. You could pay for dinner. Maybe get her a corsage? It should match her dress though."
"What color is her dress?" Leo raises his eyebrows playfully.
Why is he smiling like the Joker? I cross my arms. "I don't know. I'm wearing a red dress. A lot of girls will probably wear black. Maybe get a white flower?"
"White it is." He taps the counter and backs away. "See you tomorrow, cheerleader chick."
As Leo and his friends disappear around the corner, I quickly unzip my coat. For some reason, every time I interact with Leo, my temperature rises a few degrees because he's so irritating.
I feel sorry for his date.
"One ticket, please." The abrasive voice sounds like gravel scraping against pavement under the wheels of an eighteen-wheeler and instantly snaps me ot of my self-conscious stupor. "And throw in a program, while you're at it."
I turn to see a weathered old man before me and freeze in horror. The last time I saw him he had a chainsaw wrapped in his thick, wrinkled hands. The memory of the buzzing and his maniacal laughter rings in my ears.
"Here you go, honey." He holds out a crisp dollar ten-dollar bill.
With trembling hands, I take it and look down, hoping the old man does not recognize me from the day Ryan and I were poking around his property. I shove the ticket, program, and change at him. "Enjoy the game."
"I will. I'm here to see my grandson score a field goal," the man says with pride and a faint southern drawl. He flicks through the program and hold it up for me to see. "There he is. Number 8. Zach Ashburn. You know him?"
"Yes, sir." I am desperately in love with him. He barely knows I exist. "We have a few classes together."
"Then you probably know his girlfriend, Katelyn. A fine young lady. Real pretty, too. If I was a young man again, I'll tell you what," Zach's grandfather laughs a little too eagerly.
"I know Katelyn." I clench my jaw and do my best not to cringe. "I'm going with her and another girl to the homecoming dance tomorrow night."
"So you're friends?" Zach's grandfather stares down at me.
I hesitate, a knot forming in my gut. "Yes. We're friends."
It's not a lie, is it? Katelyn and Bethany were sorry. They've changed. This time tomorrow, I'd be at the dance with them.
"To be a teenager again... " He smiles wistfully. "Well, enjoy the game."
"I will," I lie.
The old man walks away while regret wells up in my stomach. Maybe Zach's grandfather found my Grandma Josephine's necklace. He might even tell me about it, if I muster up the courage to ask but I stand there in the ticket booth making small talk and avoiding eye contact like a total coward.
Grandma Jo would be so disappointed in me. I am such a failure, and an ugly one, too.
It's hopeless.
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Whoa... the crazy chainsaw man makes another appearance, and--surprise--he's Zach's grandfather! Did you see that coming?
Do you think Sam and Jordan are right? Does Leo like Rose or is he like that with all the girls?
Does Rose have a chance with Zach or should she give up?
Stay tuned for Rose to get all glammed up for the BIG DANCE!!!!