I feel so bipolar. One moment I feel happy, well happier than I have in a while. But then I'll feel like ripping someone's head off. Just like I almost did so Superboy yesterday. I still feel awful about that. How can I feel like that? I mean, I'd rather feel pain rather than nothing at all, because I really don't want to feel numb but I don't want to feel that much anger again.
After our match, Black Canary had pulled me aside and on my way to her office I pretty much decided to do what I want and if anyone tried to stop me, they'd be burned. Now I'm so disappointed in myself. But I quickly remember what Black Canary told me, "It's ok to be angry. But it's never alright to be cruel."
Now that I've cooled down enough to understand what she meant by that, I realize that I owe Superboy an apology. But I don't think he'll want me anywhere near him for a while and I can't blaim him. But I have to try. I force myself out of bed and throw on a plain blue shirt and jeans before I walk down to Superboy's room. I make myself knock before I loose my courage.
I hear shuffling inside his room and he open the door, just a crack, "What do you want?"
I sigh and force myself to look up at him, "To apologize. I shouldn't of done what I did yesterday and I'm sorry for it."
I turn around to leave but he gently grabs my arm and drags me into his room. We both sit down, rather awkwardly, on his bed. He looks over at me, "You're not the only one that needs to say 'sorry'. But before you jump to conclusions, before our match Black Canary told me to provoke you. She wanted to see how you would react. To see if you would loose control of your powers. But you didn't....so good job? And sorry."
I smile up at him, "Thanks for telling me that. I feel a bit better knowing you're not that big of a jerk. You're not that big of a jerk right?"
He shakes his head'no' and chuckles at me, "Normally I'm not. But I want to ask you something. How come you're acting so sweet now and you were acting like a little wrath yesterday?"
I sigh and look down at my hands, "I don't really know, I was angry. All I could see was red. It wasn't fun, on my way to Black Canary's office I basically decided that I was gonna do what I was gonna do and whoever tried to stop me could burn for all I care. But now I feel just the opposite. I feel awful, and embarrassed that I could think like that. I think it's a side effect of my powers. And an unfortunate one at that."
We sit there in silence for a few minutes but Superboy speaks up, "You know, when I first got here, I was a real hot head. Kryptonian's are known for our tempers. I had to work through mine and I still get angry but I have better control over it now. I choose to take it out on a punching bag instead of people and it really does help. Ella, if you ever need someone who understands what it's like to have pent up anger clawing to get out and you don't mind spending time with a 'jerk' just come see me and we'll go spar or something."
I nod my head and smile at him, "Thank-you and I'll try not to bash your head in this time."
He smiles back at me, "Not like you could even make a dent in it my little wrath."
One of my eyebrows raise without my permission, "Your little what now?"
He starts full on laughing at me and I lightly punch his shoulder, "Not nice Suppy, not nice at all."
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Filler Chapter, More Nightwing Action Coming Soon.
(Also check out Three Days Grace: Pain)
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