I have been a student at Fairridge Preparatory for almost three years. Alongside my friends. Against my enemies. I have worked my ass off to win. To have my name associated with victory. Sadie Jones is not a quitter. Sadie Jones is determined. And, now, Sadie Jones's picture is plastered on news websites, alongside Carter Conners's, to display our JW Debate victory. Their photo of choice was Carter and I standing with all of our awards, when he whispered those dirty words for only me to hear. How would you feel if I fucked you with this gold metal around my neck? They caught him looking at the crowd with a neutral expression while I stared at him with wide eyes. If you didn't know what he said to me, you would think that I'm looking at him with surprise that we won. The headline of the article reads: Fairridge Preparatory Juniors Win Prestigious JW Debate Competition. The article makes me smile.
"What are you smiling about?" Carter asks me, luggage surrounding his feet. We're standing inside of the gates that separate Fairridge from the rest of the neighbourhood. The school is right in front of me, in all of its glory. Cemented sidewalks, grey buildings, trees filling any open lawn space. We're standing in front of a circle of plain land, surrounded by buildings. On warmer days, the lawn will be littered with students sitting on monogrammed blankets. Game days will take place in this space, filled with blow up bounce houses and food trucks. There's no one outside now, since it's too late and everyone should be in their dorms now. The guards at the gate let us in, telling us to head straight to our dorms. Cadwell House for me. Clarence House for Carter.
I show Carter the article on my phone. His lips lift into a grin to match my own. "They chose a good picture." The mischief sparkling in his eyes tells me that he remembers exactly what he said when that picture was taken.
"It's not bad," I say, and I see his eyebrows rise in surprise that I agreed with him.
I think he's about to say something else, when I hear the crunch of a branch near the circumference of campus, lined with a forest. Through the dim outdoor lights, I see a figure in the distance, surrounded by a faint cloud of smoke. I don't have to guess who that is. There's only one girl who would be out of her dorm this late. Her eyes meet mine, and she gestures me towards her.
Carter notices. "I'll take your bags." Security gave us a cart to wheel our bags around campus.
"You don't have a key to get into Cadwell," I remind him. If you don't live in the dorm, your key card won't work.
"I'll leave your bags outside of the building, you can take them inside," he says.
"Okay."
He kisses me on the cheek, soft lips meeting soft skin. "See you in class, Jones." He means math class. Most of our classes have remained the same, except for the fact that I took on another art. Ana isn't taking a full year of Latin, so she'll have Film and Video with me. And Angie opted for the half-year Physical Education program, since she hates running and playing basketball.
When Carter leaves, I make my way towards Lena, smoking at night on the edge of campus. She's not even trying to be inconspicuous. She's standing directly under a lit lamppost. The closer I get, the more I can make out her features. Her red hair is tied up in a messy bun, with the front strands brushing her face. She's dressed in a silky PJ set. Her face is absent of her talented makeup skills, so you can see a light dusting of freckles on her nose and faint acne scars on her cheeks, as if they're rosy freckles. Smoke escapes her parted pouty lips, a cigarette resting between two fingers in her left hand.
When I approach her, my lips quirk up into a smirk. "Not afraid to get caught, Lena?"
She takes another drag of her cigarette. Lena is the partier of campus. If you're having a party and supplying alcohol or weed, she'll be there. You'd think she'd be like Landon–an athlete who's overly cautious about what they put in their body–but Lena's talents haven't been deterred by her debauchery. She's still the best volleyball player Fairridge has ever seen. I'd know, I've played alongside her.
She smiles at me. "Fuck no. Even if I was caught, the Headmaster would slap a detention slip on my desk and call it a day. Athletes, we're treated like royalty here."
"So, why smoke at night, if you're not afraid of being caught?"
The real answer, I already know: she just wants to. But, she says, "Because you are."
She passes me the cigarette. I've always stayed away from drinking for personal reasons, which extends to parties because those are full of alcohol and the risk of being caught. But, I've never been as strict when it comes to smoking–hidden. I would never grab a smoke on my own, but I've been alone with Lena in instances like these, and, if I'm being honest, I've accepted her offer to smoke about three times. Not a lot, but I'm not against it. So, I take the cigarette and bring it up to my lips. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I don't cough or wince.
As I blow out the smoke, Lena gestures to where I came from. "So, when did that happen?"
"What?" I ask, relaxing with another puff. If anyone ever saw me smoking, they'd probably think there's something wrong with their eyes. Because Sadie Jones would never break the rules like that. Poison her body. No way. But, there's something serene about being surrounded by smoke. After I heard that Maddie died, I wandered aimlessly around campus at night–against the rules, I know–on the brink of having a panic attack. That's until I found Lena, who passed me her smoke and soothed me with her breathy voice. We're not best friends, but she's always there when I need her.
"Don't play dumb, Sadie," Lena laughs, stealing the cigarette to take another drag. "You and Carter? It didn't look like you two hated each other."
"We're kind of dating," I mumble.
"Awe, are you in love?" Lena teases.
"No," I say. Love is complicated. But so are Carter and I. So, I add, "Not yet."
"Well, you're both kind of perfect for each other," Lena says, leaning against the lamppost.
I don't bother arguing with her. "What about you and Landon? Are you two still hooking up?"
She sighs. "No, that's over. I'm heading over to Jason's dorm after this. Third floor. Clarence House. A challenge if I've ever seen one." Sneaking into dorms is always going to be challenge, but, for Lena, seeing the senior hockey player must be worth it. I wonder if I'll be sneaking into Carter's dorm sometime. With his two roommates, I doubt it.
"I have faith in you," I say, taking the cigarette one last time. I know my limit.
"So, with the boyfriend, you're done with one night stands," Lena says, phrasing it as a statement, not a question.
I nod. "I can still be your wingwoman." During the beginning of junior year, Lena and I would set each other up with guys that we knew were interested in the other. My good girl reputation only involved drinking and parties.
Lena puts out the cigarette with the bottom of her shoe. "You were quite good at it."
"I'm good at everything I do," I tell her, smiling.
"I'm not going to deny it, brainiac," she says.
"I'll see you in math class, Lenny," I tell her, knowing that she hates the nickname.
She flips me off, walking away. "Fuck you, but love you," she calls out.
I head over to Cadwell house, finding my bags by the door, as Carter promised. I use my key card to unlock the doors, and walk through the carpeted halls of the dorm, passing the communal room full of brown leather couches. When I walk into my dorm room, Ana and Angie–both in PJs–jump off their beds and race towards me. You'd think they didn't come see me for the JW Debate ceremony a few days ago from their tight grips.
"Welcome home," Ana sings, dragging my bags into the room. She grabs my hand and Angie's bringing us both to rest on top of her pink and blue bed. I tell her I need to change before sitting down, so I head over to my dresser to grab the pair of PJs that I forgot.
"Did you run into Lena?" Angie asks, starring at me as I make my way to the bed, changed.
"Yeah, why?" I ask, burying myself under the comforter.
"Your clothes smell like smoke," she says. My friends know about my once-every-six-months smoke. Sometimes, Ana will take a puff if she catches us. But Angie has too many family members working in medicine and health and wellness to risk it.
"Sadie Jones, forever the rebel," Ana laughs. An inaccurate statement, if I've ever heard one.
"So, how was your time in Ridgefield?" Ana asks, referencing the text I sent our group chat about spending time in Carter's hometown.
"Carter and I are dating," I say outright. There's no point is sneaking around the truth. But, before they can share their excitement, I turn towards Ana. "And it's all your fault."
Ana smiles so bright, as if her favourite romance novel just came to life. Maybe it did. "Guilty. But, in my defence, I didn't tell him where to take you. Just that he should."
"Why?" I ask her. I have an idea why, but I want to hear her say it.
"Because you liked him–like him. And I knew that you would do anything to push him away, and, consequently, push away that feeling. I just made sure you didn't."
"You evil genius," I say.
Ana laughs.
"I can't believe you're an official couple. Now we can go on double dates!" Angie is practically giddy with excitement.
"And there's the fault of my plan," Ana says.
"Do you know how many guys would kill to be with you," Angie tells her. It's true. Ana is highly sought after at Fairridge by practically everyone, but she's more picky when it comes to her potential suitors.
"Eh," Ana just shrugs her shoulders. The last person she was with was Landon, and nobody even knows how that went. But it's public knowledge–across the Fairridge campus–that it ended badly. Though, the more time I spend with them, I can see their undeniable attraction. They're flirty as fuck, even if it's in a hostile way.
"Who else knows about you and Carter?" Angie asks me.
I list off Gracie, Felix, Lena, Carter's friends, and, as I say the names, I feel the absence of a particular one. Maddie. My sister. She would've been the first one to know. And, as I look at the eager eyes of my two best friends–honorary sisters, no doubt–I feel the need to come clean to them. They would hate that I'm experiencing this pain alone.
Before I even open my mouth, I can anticipate their reactions. Concern. Empathy. No anger at the fact that I didn't tell them sooner. Because that's how we are. When we first moved in together, our bond was apparent. We would tell each other anything and everything. And that's when the One Secret rule came into play, even if it was a quite juvenile idea. We would tell each other everything, but we were each allowed to have one thing that was considered nobody's business. If the secret wasn't about anyone in the group–if it didn't hurt anyone–nobody had know. The One Secret rule became our trio's way of showing our respect for each other's boundaries. Fairridge teaches you to fend for yourself, and we do. But we're also a unit. The One Secret Rule is why I never felt guilty about hiding my sister's death, I was just drowning in guilt for my part in it. It's why it took us so long to hear about Ana's relationship. But, the thing about the One Secret rule, we always come clean in the end. Because we'd rather be together than apart.
So, when my expression turns somber, Ana and Angie look at me with concern. But I swallow my nerves, and say, "So, you know my sister, Maddie..."
I spent half of the night crying with Ana and Angie. They are two of the most understanding girls I've ever met. Like Carter, they told me a million times that it's not my fault. Maybe they're right, but there's always going to be that part of my brain that doesn't believe them.
I didn't quite realize how much homework I would have to do, but, after a day of classes, I am carrying five textbooks, three stapled stacks of paper, and a bunch of stress. Students from all grades have been stopping me around campus to congratulate me for the JW Debate win. More have been stopping me to see if it's true that I'm dating Carter Conners. He kissed me quickly after math class, and I swear everyone in the hall was looking at us as if we both just stripped naked and professed our love for each other. Lena laughed when she came out of the classroom and saw everyone staring at us, and then she winked at me.
I'm supposed to meet Ana and Angie to help shelve some books at the library. Still, I feel like my arms are about to be crushed by all of the books I'm carrying, which didn't fit in my backpack. I'm one step away from dropping everything when I someone steps in front of me and relieves my arms. Carter stands in front of me, black slacks and a white button up, rolled up to the tops his forearms with the top two buttons undone. His air is disheveled, freckles dust his nose, and the smile on his lips could power a million lightbulbs.
"Let me help you, Jones," he says, even though he's already holding all of my stuff.
Still, I say, "I don't need your help, Conners."
He places a chaste kiss on my lips, but my stubborn expression remains. He laughs, "Too bad."
I'm aware of the students that have stopped to watch us and whisper. Gossip spreads at Fairridge quickly, and the rivalry between me and Carter has been news for years. So, the fact that we're around each other as a couple and not to rip each other's heads off is surprising to everyone. Though, if you were sitting in on any of the classes we had together today, you'd think that we still despise each other. Throwing insults at each other, correcting every small error the other makes. It's as if nothing has changed. Yet, everything has.
"Where are you going?" Carter asks, falling into step beside me.
"The library," I tell him.
He nods and continues to walk beside me. "I'm meeting Ana and Angie," I say.
"I'm going to the gym with Ty and Landon while Dimitri's at a meeting for the school paper. Don't worry, Jones, I won't impede on your girl time."
I huff. "You're impeding on my alone time right now."
"You love having me around," he states.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," I say. But, I can't lie, these verbal battles with Carter will always entertain me. So will his presence.
When we walk through the library doors, I spot Ana and Angie by a cart of books. I offer them a wave, which they return, eyes on Carter beside me. Ana winks, as if she's the matchmaker that set us up. She kind of is. I'm about to head towards them, when Ms. Davenport intercepts us. "I'm so glad I caught you two," she says. "Come with me."
Carter and I look at each other with confusion, but follow her to the glass room our debate meetings are usually held in. We settle in our usual seats at the desk in the middle of the room.
"I'm going to make this quick because I know you both have places to be," Ms. Davenport says. We don't ask how she knows that, it's common knowledge that Carter and I are always busy on the Fairridge campus.
"We are very proud of your victory at JW Debate. It has given Fairridge an immense amount of positive publicity. So, the Headmaster and I have agreed that we'd like to do something for you two, as a congratulations and thank you," Ms. Davenport speaks the words quickly.
I cut in, "Ms. Davenport that is very kind of you and the Headmaster, but we've been given trophies and a large cheque for our success in the competition."
"We don't need anything else," Carter agrees.
"Yes, yes," Ms. Davenport says. "But we'd like to give something from the school. Anything that you've been hoping for at Fairridge. A preference in dormitories next year. A theme for prom. You are both very involved, and I'm sure there's something that you can think of."
Carter and I keep looking at each other in confusion. It sounds like they're willing to offer anything. Fairridge Prep is a very proud school, and they view the students' achievements as their own. You are looked after well here. If you're talented enough, smart enough, they'll throw cash and opportunities at you until you can't catch them anymore.
So, I steal another glance at Carter, his hands clasped and resting on the table as if this is a business meeting. But, this time, when his eyes meet mine, I see something in them. An idea. And it's hidden behind a glimmer of amusement, as if he knows that what he's about to say will surprise me.
"I do have an idea," he tells Ms. Davenport. "Now that you mention it."
"Go ahead, Mr. Conners," she says, her full attention on him. So is mine.
"I propose that we have two valedictorians next year, since I know they've already been chosen for this graduating class. I'm not asking for Sadie and I to be appointed for the position, but I'd like for, out of all of the students running, two to be selected. Two to plan the graduation. Two to give the speech at graduation."
I'm staring at Carter with pure shock. But Ms. Davenport is nodding. "I can make that work. It's an interesting ask. But I'm sure everyone will appreciate one more opportunity to be able to write 'valedictorian' on college applications. Does this ask satisfy you, Miss Jones?"
Ms. Davenport and Carter are staring at me. "I approve of the idea."
Carter is grinning from ear to ear. Ms. Davenport stands up, shakes our hands, and exits the room.
"You think we're both going to win," I state, turning towards Carter. That's obviously why he made the request. He is convinced that we will both be voted. And he is absolutely correct. I know how valedictorian works at Fairridge, and it was always going to be me or Carter. But, now, it will be both.
"A genius plan, I know," Carter says, that cocky smirk that I've grown to love–something I'll never admit to him–dancing on his lips.
And it is.
It's an opportunity for us to both take the title. For us to stand on the same level of the podium, together.
So, even as we're competing, we're winning.
And we stay winning.
...
A/N
After over 110 000 words, we have officially reached the end of Sadie and Carter's story. We still have an epilogue to get through, but this is the end of our time with the two characters during junior year.
Thank you for supporting this story and sharing your love for it. I've still got more to write, but I'm already missing Fairridge and these characters.
The story will be marked as completed as soon as I release the epilogue, but there are some bonus chapters that will come out after that.
I hope you've enjoyed following these characters around and I'll be back with another update soon :)
Happy reading!