Aliyah
We rode into the gates house and I still remember this house clearly. Men were already piling outside of the house. I tensed and Kazimir had his hands on my thigh.
I watched as she emerged out the door. She wore a plaid summer dress and her her hair straightened. There were mixes of black and gray.
The car stops and I got out. I faced her and I didn't hold any resent me towards her. Kazimir stood next to me and his men.
Alexei on my other side. Sasha stayed behind, because she does not sit well with dead bodies.
"I thought you were smarter," she says.
"We need to talk."
"There is nothing for us to talk about. Take your Russian and leave."
"Emilia, it's serious. There's a few things we need to talk about," I said.
"Listen to me very carefully, you come near me again. I will kill you," she threatens.
"I would choose your words carefully," Kaz warns.
"You do not scare me Russian," she hollers.
"You should be."
"Matteo, gimme toy," someone screams.
It was a childlike voice. Matteo? Giggles erupt and I looked up at her. My brows furrowed and I remember the names of Alya's arm. I didn't pay attention to names. I found them insignificant to me.
I knew it would be dangerous to even go inside to look. The possibility. If Juan is alive there's a possibility of my baby boys being alive.
"Grandma, Matteo take toy," a boy cries.
Emilia turns to the house and turns back to me. She shifted her hands and gestured to one of the guards to take care of it. Matteo? As in my son Matteo?
I pushed past the guards and run into the house. I knew this place from the back of my mind. Yelling came from behind me and I went to the laughter.
"Matteo," I shout.
There were children playing in the living room. Two little boys chasing each other. Two girls played with Barbie dolls.
"Mommy," they scream.
The rush to me and hug my legs. I look down at the boys and I sink to my knees. My eyes welled up and I didn't know how to process this. I looked at the boys carefully. They were slightly to young.
There speaking was not developed like four years olds should be. They were to small. They weren't my boys. I guess I did loose them after all. I moved away from them and stood up.
"You should go," she says.
I turn around and Kazimir stands next to her. Guns were raised and the air was tense. The children looked slightly scared.
I looked at the boys and sadness filled my heart. I looked at them more and they didn't have my features. They had some of Jorge's. I looked at the girls.
There was a young one and a older one. She looks about one and could be about two. I looked at the other girl.
She stayed silently and looked at me. She had his eyes. Her lips were like mine, but slightly could be his mixed with my lips.
I turn to Emilia. She was glaring at me and looked as if they children weren't here she would kill me.
"The girl aren't theirs. Who's the parents?" I ask.
I looked back at her and I know for sure that she was mine. I was told I had boys, but I'm looking at a girl right now. Why am I looking at girl? I either gave birth to twin girls and one of them did actually die at childbirth or a girl and boy. The boys just didn't make it. I thought of what Kazimir said.
She told me that Juan died. She told me I had boys and broke the news to me. In that last month of my pregnancy Alya was by my side whispering in my ear. She lied to me.
"You are in my home, You don't demand anything," she yells.
"Answer the question, that girl don't belong to her or him. The children here look to young to even be mine, but that little girl," I tremble.
My voice was cracking and she takes a deep breath. I was becoming frantic to get an answer, because it would be impossible.
"You don't have a right to her, when you left," she says, coldly.
"I don't have a right. I am her mother," I yell.
"You don't get to claim her, You abandoned her," she shouts.
"Do you really think I would leave her here. With him after all he was the reason."
"Get the children out of here, take them up to their rooms," Emilia orders.
The men move, but I couldn't be in any position to touch her. She doesn't even know who I am. The men get boys and the girls. My eyes followed and I wanted to hug her so bad.
Juan was alive this whole time and my Baby was alive. Alya lied to me about everything. I believed her because I thought we got over everything.
"Tell them to put away their gun," she says.
"Tell yours to do the same."
I nodded to Kaz and he put his hands up. His men put his gun and Emilia's follow. The air was tense and nobody spoke.
"You knew they were alive this whole time," I mumbled.
"Who was alive?"
"The girl and him."
Her eyebrows furrow and confusion displayed across her face. I didn't want to say Juan's name in front of Kazimir, but she could use context clues. They lied to her as well, that explains why she thinks I abandoned them. Them, I don't even know their names.
I felt like an idiot. This was all game. Things weren't making any sense to me. Why is it that I have been recruited and sent right back into the past. I'm now reliving another hell, just with Russians.
It wasn't making any sense. My head was starting to hurt and I rubbed my temples. I felt like I was going insane and wanted to rip out my hair. This doesn't make sense. Why would Alya lie? Why would she does this to me?
Why is it that I had to go through this? Why? My brain was going haywire and pounding spreading through my head. I had to grip onto something before I fainted. I rested my body against the couch.
Kazimir rushed to my side and held me up. His arms arms held me and I gripped onto them. I wonder what he was thinking about this whole thing.
"Are you okay?" He ask.
I nod my head and I rest against him. I needed answers to what was happening.
"You don't know?" I ask.
"Know what?"
"He's alive, I saw him a few days ago," I told.
"Let's talk in private without your Russian."
"I'm okay, listen I'm going to be fine. Just don't cause any trouble especially since there are children," I say.
"If they don't first," he said.
I looked up at him and stared at him. His mouth turned into a frown and he let out a sigh. He grumbles in Russian and lets me go. I put my attention to Emilia and she had her lips in a thin line.
She walks towards a office that she keep on the floor for meetings. I walk behind her and we enter the office. I sit down and she sits in front of me.
She had barely aged, but she still looked beautiful as ever. We stared at each other in silence and I had to be the one to break the silence.
"Did you know Juan was alive all this time?" I ask
"Juan was never dead that is why I am confused," she answers.
"I was told he died and with that stress made me give birth. I gave birth to two boys and they died," I said.
"But they were girls, who would lie about the gender?" She questions.
"Alya, she told me."
"Why would your sister do that?
"I have a few guesses, but we both have been fed false information."
"No, there is more missing. How could you think he was dead without coming to talk to me first? I treated me as a mother, so why did you never come?"
"I thought you were grieving and didn't need me to add unto the stress. I just thought about how everything was turning upside down for me," I replied.
We both had been deceived and it was a lot to process all in one. Wait if she knew Juan was alive does that mean Juan knew the girl?
"Has Juan met her?" I blurted.
"What type of question is that," she scoffs.
Of course he had. I'm not surprised why wouldn't he want to see his child. Although he got to see her, I couldn't. I was lied to. I was living a lie for the last few years.
I was depressed and I had PPD all in one. I was doing my best to take care of taking care of Hakeem, but the suicidal thoughts always passed through. I went through all of that for what? Because Alya wanted to do what?
"What's her name," I demand.
It wasn't a question, it was a demand. There was no option to answer or not. She was going to tell me.
"Azura," she spoke.
I smiled softly because I had told Juan that my mother wanted to name us that. She went with Alya and Imani instead because her and my father couldn't come to a comprise.
Alya had also know that, but she must have played a part in that.
"Does she know who I am?"
"She does," she answers.
I stayed silent and looked down at my hands. I don't know where to go from here. Juan never thought to say our baby was alive. I sighed and massaged my temples. I couldn't even ask Kazimir for comfort.
What does this mean now? I had Azura that I have to consider now. Could I do all of this now? Could I still be able to carry out the plan? I don't know.
I don't know if I could do any of this anymore. I wanted time with her. I might never be able to see her again. I wanted her to know me as her mother and not what lies she has been told.
"Can I have her for the day? I will bring her back," I wonder.
"Imani," she starts.
"I know it's a big thing for me to ask, but I have never had any time with her," I faltered.
"How can I trust you?" She ask.
"Emilia, if my reaction towards the kids was not enough then I don't know," I said.
My voice was uneven and was hopeful. I was going on emotions now. I don't know how to feel anymore.
"Do you still love him?"
"No. When I saw him, I thought I did. I thought there was still a possibility of me loving him," I hesitated.
I wasn't sure if I should admit this to her. I needed to get it off my chest and Emilia was like a second mother.
"I had met him alone and we had sex. In that moment, I knew I didn't love him. All I could think was him in that moment," I admit.
"You love the Russian?" She gasped.
"I don't know, but it's not Juan anymore," I sighed.
"I can't force you to love my son, but I don't trust those men out there. By the way he looks at you I can see I can trust the safety on my grand baby."
"He will make sure that she is safe," I nod.
"Bring her back before seven, her bedtime is at eight."
She gets up and I get up as well. She comes over to me and bring me into a hug. I was tense at first then melted into the hug. I needed the comfort of her. I missed her. We stayed like this for some time and didn't say anything.
I think the hug said everything it needed to say. I just don't know how this will work as time passes. We pull apart and she looks at me smiling.
Her eyes crease and I can see the aging on her face more. The years I missed out with her because of Alya. I could have came back, to check and yet I never did.
"Does he know you had sex with Juan?"
"No, I haven't told him yet," I whispered.
"You should, before he finds out. I have heard things about Kazimir. The roaring lion, when he is mad its not a wrath you want to feel. I suggest you do," she advices.
I gave her a half hearted smile and we walked out her office. She tells one of the guards to get Azur in Spanish and Kazimir looks at me. His hands were in a fist and didn't seem comfortable.
I walked to him and he kept his hands by his side.
"What is happening now?"
"We leave, but we need to come back at seven."
"Why?" He wondered.
Azura came down the stairs walking quick to me. I get down on my knees and she hugged me. Her body was so small against mine and it was such a strong hug. She held onto me tightly.
"Mommy," she says.
"Hey princess," I smile.
"I knew you would come back for me," Azura grinned.
My heart hurt so much, but the more I looked at her, I knew she was mine. When I came into the living room, she was the only one who didn't move. She could tell I was her mom.
I hugged her again and kissed her forehead. I looked at Kazimir and I couldn't read the expression on his face. This was going to get very complicated.