Hope found herself glancing over at Josie many times as she tried to focus on finding her a shirt, but also, she couldn't, her mind completely drifted back to what they previously did.
The auburn-haired girl was starting to get a sense that maybe Josie likes her, or maybe not, it was a wild shot to assume someone liked you, but Josie's been acting different.
Josie looked over to meet eyes with the older girl and Hope immediately turned around. Her face heated from embarrassment as she grabs one of her shirts.
"Uh, it might be small but if you wear that and cover it up with the jacket, you'll be fine." Hope says as she handed Josie the shirt. The shorter girl avoided eye contact because she knew how that made her feel.
Josie took the shirt and she chewed on her bottom lip. Josie then took off her shirt and Hope felt her nerves increasing.
The brunette set aside the shirt and put on hopes—offered—shirt. "Thank you for this Hope, I've had the best day that I can possibly have."
Hope shook her head "we stayed in this house all day, how could you possibly have the best day you could ever have?" Hope raised a brow.
Josie smiled as she looked down because she found the floor so interesting now. "I was able to spend some time with you." Josie muttered
Hood could hardly hear her, the shorter girl stepped up and raised her chin. "Jo, I could hardly hear you." Hope admits sadly.
Josie raised her head up a little to see hope, she felt heat take over her face, it was the same move she did on Hope yet it felt so comforting when it was Hope to do it.
"I said ..I was able to spend time with you, so that's why I had an amazing day, and I can't wait for our adventure tomorrow because I love spending time with you." Josie smiled
Hope sighed and shook her head "we need to talk about this whole thing with your father and your boyfriend, you can't keep trying to push that talk away because you aren't ready, I need to know where you stand."
"What do you mean where I stand?" Josie raised an bow before she shifted her weight onto her left side.
"Where do you stand in this relationship? What are you doing here Josie because you have me all types of confused." Hope admits with a short sigh following right after.
Josie let out a dry chuckle and shook her head "what relationship hope? Do you mean as friends? Because that's what we are, I've been telling you this for the longest." Josie muttered.
Hope nodded her head and chewed on her bottom lip. "You are such a star Josie, I mean i should have known that people like you go around kissing their friends as a sign of friendship, do you fuck your friends as well?" Hope asked as she walked over to the door.
Josie was a bit confused on why there was a change in hope's attitude. "Hope, we didn't kiss, ever, that neck thing.. forget about it, and all those other times.. I'm not the girl that you want me to be."
"The girl that I want you to be!—No you mean you're a girl that hide yourself because you're too much of a coward to come out. You're too scared because you care what people thinks, and to tell you the truth, you have every right to be that way you're your own person just like everyone else is their own person, but what you don't get to do is act like things don't happen with a meaning, back down there in that kitchen, we were like this couple—"
"No, we were just being silly the way friends are.. stop trying to get me to admit to something that isn't true." Josie scoffed
Hope nodded her head "if it wasn't true you wouldn't have used the word admit , I mean it's your life Josie, and I can't blame you for being scared because not everyone's background and family is the same as others so they can't just come out willingly when they want, but you will not lead me on, I won't let you and I'm not going to. I don't even know if I can be your friend, watching you get hurt by a guy that only keeps hurting you while I'm here, and I can do so much better." Hope looked down at her fidgeting fingers.
Josie eyes widen, she was taken back by the confession, of course the brunette felt something at that very moment but she couldn't say anything, she rather be that coward then to let herself be happy.
"I should go, I'll bring back your clothes-"
Hope shook her head "keep it." She says as Josie walked outside of the door. Hope then slammed the door shut and plopped onto the bed.
-
When Josie got to her house, it was all quiet, she assumed that maybe everyone had went to sleep after the party.
The brunette ran up to her room and she plopped on the bed, she didn't even bother shutting the door.
"Hey jo." Lizzie voice filled the empty room.
Josie turned over to see her sister before she sat up. "Lizzie, I think I messed up." Josie says as she brought her legs up to her body.
Lizzie nodded and closed the door. "If you broke up with Landon after what got leaked, then there's nothing wrong about that, you don't need to be sad—"
Josie shook her head "no..I didn't talk to him yet, I'm talking about Hope.. I've messed up with her and life and now I don't know what to do."
"What did you do.. to Hope? Spare me any sexual details." Lizzie scrunched her nose.
"I had the best day with Hope, we laughed and it wasn't fake, I haven't had a genuine laugh in so long, and I fed her cupcakes, it was adorable and heat warming at the same time, I even talked with her little cousin—which he's so adorable." Josie smiled at every memory.
"So, what's the problem?" Lizzie asked
Josie sighed and she begin to look out into the air. "I told her we were nothing more than friends and she kind of freaked out and said she didn't want to be my friend at all, and then I left,"
"Well, you can't be mad if you lead her on, unless you didn't know you were leading her on. Do you even want to be her friend?" Lizzie asked
Josie nodded "I do want to be her friend, I love every moment we had, she's the only person that has made me happy, happier than I've ever been and happier than I'm sure that I ever will be."
Josie took a deep breath "I just can't lose her any more than I have, I love waking up with her, and I love her smile, and sometimes I want to cry because she makes me so freaking happy, but at this very moment I want to cry because she's mad at me for something I can barely understand myself, I don't mean to hurt her it's just I'm not ready to say the words that she want me to admit out loud, I can't even say it to myself, and right now I really miss her and I missed her once I left her house."
Lizzie could see a tear leave her sisters eyes. "Yesterday I caught myself looking at photos of me and her just smiling because I felt so happy and when I checked the time I realized that I'd been staring for over hours just at us, just at her. I know I hurt her but I want to make it better, I need to make it better because it's her.. any other person I wouldn't truly care about making happy.. Hope's just something different, she's someone different."
Lizzie smiled before she glanced over at her sister. "Are you sure you aren't in love?" Lizzie asked
Josie scoffed "no..no.. there could be possibly a little crush there but I'm not in love. I mean sure she has the qualities that I would want my significant other to have but she's just a friend."
Lizzie nodded and crossed her legs. "Okay, so what do your so-called lover have to be, for you to be in love?" Lizzie asked
Josie shrugged her shoulders "I don't know to be honest; I want someone who makes me smile and someone who understands me. Someone that enjoys what I enjoy, and if they don't then at least be happy that I have something that I enjoy. Someone that can have fun with me and compliment me over the littlest things. I really want someone that's going to make me see past all the little things that I don't really enjoy about myself, overall, I want to be someone's number one, I'm everyone's backup plan and I Just want to be important to them.. but that's too much to ask for apparently."
Lizzie nodded "I understand how you feel, have you told hope about this?" Lizzie questioned.
Josie shook her head "Why would I tell hope about this? I know there's a little feelings there, but I don't think it will stay for long and it's nothing, plus I need to get out of the toxic relationship that I'm in now, I'm not going to worry about anything else." Josie says before she threw her head back on the bed.
"I think I know just the thing that you may need, You seem to be completely out of your mind." Lizzie sighed
-
Saturday morning.
"Hello Josie, your sister tells me that you need help."
Josie crosses her arms before she leaned back and against the bright yellow couch she was sitting on, it had soft cushions and it was very tiny if you were to ask Josie.
"I don't know why my sister said that I should be here, I mean I know I need help but not this type of help, I'm only going through problems with defining myself and saying the words out loud, it shouldn't take a therapist to help me with such a thing if we are being honest." Josie ranted on before she rolled her eyes.
The therapist nodded "Okay, that's a start, do you feel that maybe this whole defining things thing, is getting in the way of your whole life now? do you feel like you may go into a habit of shutting people out because you don't feel that you are capable of telling others how you feel?" The man asked
Josie scoffed "Can't you see that I don't need help, I'm wasting your time when you can be helping someone who actually needs the help." the brunette got up.
The therapist got up and shook his head "You aren't wasting my time, and I can't force you into talking to me about what's going on with things at home but if you are comfortable with it then you are more than welcomed to tell me. Plus, you can't leave, your sister signed up for 2-weeks of therapy, an hour session, and we have a rule of no refund." He says as he sent a soft smile
Josie puffed and plopped down on the couch, "So, I can just sit here in silence and not say anything?" Josie asked as she raised her eyebrow.
The guy nodded, soon they fell in a comfortable silence. They haven't talked to each other for most of the session. Josie couldn't help but to think about her mind of cycles, all she does is deny her feelings for hope and then admits and then denies it all over again. It's honestly confusing.
"My name is Dorian." The guy decided to speak up seeing as they only had 10 minutes left of the session.
Josie nodded "My name is Josette, but everyone calls me Josie, sometimes jo depending on how well you know me." Josie admits before she laid flat on the couch.
"Well, Josie, I thought maybe you should get to know me, I mean I'm not all for talking about my personal life, but if you felt comfortable, I would like for you to get to know me, I tell you something about me in order for you to be comfortable enough to share something about you." Dorian plopped his notebook in his lap.
Josie nodded "Okay, I'll see if I want to tell you about my life, depending on how I feel,"
Dorian smiled "okay, I have 3 kids, a 3-year-old boy, a 7-year-old girl and a 14-year-old boy, I also have a lovely, beautiful wife, Emma, would you like to see a photo?" He asked
Josie smiled and nodded "Yes, I would love to see them."
Dorian than took out a photo of his wife and kids and showed them to Josie. The brunette was so happy to see the smiles on the young kids, it warmed her heart so much. "You seem so happy, in that photo."
"I'm always happy, my wife is truly the only one that makes me happy and of course my kids but without her, those little rascals wouldn't exist, we've been through a lot." Dorian admits
Josie nodded "and you love her?"
"More than life itself." Dorian answered
"How did you two get into a relationship?" Josie asked
The man smiled and then grinned "Well, she was in another relationship with someone else, I was just her best friend, I didn't want to be her best friend because the minute I laid eyes on her, I wanted to marry her, it was love at first site. I didn't want to be a home-wrecker, so I got into another relationship."
"And how did that turn out?" The young girl asked
Dorian smiled "I was miserable, My relationship was so toxic, and it was effecting my mental health, a few weeks after that, Emma broke up with her lover and when she was drunk, she confessed to being in love with me. I broke up with the girl and me and Emma took things slow, now here we are."
Josie sighs "how did you know that you loved her?" Josie asked
Dorian readjusted himself "I just knew. I knew that she was the one I wanted to wake up to every morning, she was the one that was there for me at my lowest and she was the one that I would go back to over and over without question, there was many people to doubt our love, but we overcame them, and we showed them people that we had each other, and that's all we needed."
The brunette nodded "I'm..." She paused before she looked down at her fingers and then back up at Dorian "I'm into girls. well, I'm into a girl." She paused again "I... I might even love her. I spent so much time with her that I realized that she's the only one that gets me, and when I looked at that photo of you and your family...I seen my family, not my sister, my parents,and I but I saw the future. I want that.." Josie trailed off as she looked back down at her fingers.
"What do you want Josie?"
"I want hope.. I want Hope Mikaelson and I want to grow old with her, I want what you and your family have, I know I'm young, but I Know what I want and who I want. I didn't know before, but now I do." Josie admits as she nodded her head with a single tear leaving her eyes. "I'm going to fight every battle with her...I'm willing to go over every rule that my father have just because I want her."
Dorian smiled "you said you think you love her, why are you so unsure?"
"I don't know how to love myself. How can I love someone else? I have these strong feelings but are they strong enough for love? can I make her happy when I'm not emotionally or physically happy myself?" Josie questioned sadly
Soon the timer went off "We will continue this next session, that is if you are going to open up next time." the therapist says as he gets up.
Josie sighed and got up "thank you for today, Mr. Dorian, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow." She says before she left out.
The talk was very affective and played a big part on Josie, she enjoyed the whole thing with talking about her feelings. Josie took out her phone and she called up Hope. No answer... straight to voice mail. Josie decides to leave a message. "Hey hope. I know you don't want to talk with me and that's perfectly fine. But I need talk to you, it's something essential. I need to tell you how I really feel, in person, So I'm coming to your house."