"You're awake" Remus said from the room upstairs, looking at Spencer from the railing as she sat in the living room.
"Couldn't sleep" she shrugged, continuing to read her book.
Remus nodded, "would you like me to make you some tea?"
She shook her head, "I'm okay."
Remus continued to stare at her, it seemed she was only staring at the page.
He shut his eyes one he realized what was wrong.
He made his was downstairs, sitting on the opposite end of the couch.
"You have every right to be mad at me" he spoke.
"I'm not mad" she replied.
"If you were, I'd understand" he stared at the fire.
"I'm not mad" Spencer repeated.
"If you want me to take you to Arthur's, I can. Or I could buy you-"
"Remus- I'm not mad."
"What are you feeling then?"
Spencer looked up from her book, staring at the side of his face.
"Hurt" she answered after a few minutes of silence.
Remus nodded to himself.
"I know you don't mean it... but that hurt Remus. You were the one person I would've never expected that from" she closed her book.
He looked back at her, finally noticing the broken look on her face.
"We're fine, I need you to hear that and so do I" she caressed his cheek. "I just hate that you did that to hurt me" she whispered.
"I know" Remus nodded slowly. "Me too. Especially on your birthday."
"My birthday is today, not yesterday" she laughed lightly.
"Still" he shook his head. "That was wrong of me."
"Yes it was, but we're moving past it."
"How can you say that after I did it on purpose?" he asked in disbelief.
"Because I've done the same thing, I've said words to purposely hurt someone just because I was hurt and overwhelmed. Like I told you yesterday Remus, we're one in the same." she answered. "I don't like you any less than I did three days ago" she smiled softly.
"You should."
"But I don't" she smiled. "Because you didn't mean it."
Remus moved her to his lap, hugging her tightly and wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I don't know what I would've done if you'd left" he whispered, his head in the crook of her neck.
"Gone after me later I hope," she chuckled lightly, "I wouldn't have left you" she caressed his head.
He shook his head slowly. "God Spencer- I'm so fucking sorry."
"I think we're going to need a "sorry" jar" she said, Remus felt her laugh in his chest.
He held her tighter.
After a few minutes, Spencer yawned.
"Shall I carry you upstairs?" his thumb drew a line against her back.
Spencer nodded before Remus walked them up to their room.
"You mean so much to me Remus" she said sleepily. "I hate it when you think you don't deserve anything."
"I feel I should be the one telling you this."
"Shh" she rested her arm on his chest. "You can remind me when I get mad and take it out on you" she lightly chuckled.
Remus laughed, "good night Spence" he spoke after a few minutes.
"Mmm" she replied, almost asleep.
"Happy birthday" he whispered.
"Go to sleep Remus" she giggled.
──────⊱⁜⊰──────
Spencer woke up to Remus fingering her, "good morning" he smirked.
"Hi" she whispered, biting her lip.
Remus' other hand reached for her clit and in few minutes she came on him.
"Happy birthday" he kissed her forehead.
"Happy birthday" she nodded.
Spencer heard Nox scratch the door, she covered her face as she laughed.
"Do you know how difficult it was to even get him out of the room Spencer" he said seriously.
"And I thank you for your efforts- we don't need to traumatize him" she took her hands off her face, smiling at him.
He smiled back at her, an endearing look on his face.
"I have a gift for you" he spoke.
Spencer sighed with a smile, nodding.
"Get dressed, I'll see you downstairs" he kissed her forehead.
"How dressed should I get?" she sat up before he left.
He thought about his answer, "put on one of my dress shirts and some underwear" he said before leaving.
"If your father is downstairs I have bad news for you!"
"It's just us" he laughed.
Spencer got dressed and made her way downstairs, she found Remus sitting at the kitchen island.
A device shaped like vessel laid on the table.
"What is this?" she asked as she sat down in front of him.
"Poke it."
"You poke it" she shook her head.
"Poke it" he shook his head.
Spencer poked the device, her finger causing it to levitate a few inches.
A hologram appeared and suddenly people came into view.
Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Andrew, Harry, Hermione, Remus, and her grandfather all started singing happy birthday.
Spencer could tell the recordings were filmed in different locations, but smiled at the thought of them all being together.
As they finished, Spencer could see Remus coming toward her with a cupcake.
"Happy birthday Spencer!!" everyone said.
The device fell down on the table, Spencer gave it a teary smile.
"Happy birthday, my love" he lit a candle, handing her the cupcake.
Spencer looked up and smiled at him, admiring his features.
She looked down at the cupcake, holding it in her hand.
Closing her eyes, she made her wish. Then blew out the candle.
"You remembered" she smiled.
"Of course I remembered" he chuckled.
"I just don't like party's celebrating me. It's weird" she shivered.
"What's weird about it" Harry asked.
"Like when people sing happy birthday, what do you look at? The cake? The people? What if there isn't that many?" she answered rapidly.
"Thank you, Remus" she held him tightly, whispering into his ear. "It was perfect."
Remus rubbed her back, smiling.
Suddenly a noise came from behind them.
There was an owl at the window.
"Another surprise?" she chuckled, wiping her tears.
Remus shook his head, confused.
"Maybe it's for you" Spencer added.
He walked to the window and tried to get the letter, the owl bit him.
Remus stifled a groan, placing his hand over the bite.
"Not for me" he shook his head, looking back at Spencer.
Spencer walked to him, the owl handed her the letter.
"Are you waiting for a reply?" she took it.
The owl flapped it's wings.
"I don't know why I asked" she chuckled.
She opened the letter, finding three words written down.
Happy Birthday
- Sev
"Oh" she said out loud. "I don't have anything to send back" she told the owl.
The owl promptly left.
"Well," she cleared her throat, "at least he remembered" she added softly.
"Well I didn't know how to bring this up but," he walked into the living room and grabbed his bag, "here's this" he handed her a card.
Her name on the front of the envelope.
Spencer paled, she new the handwriting very well.
"I didn't speak to him, I called your grandfather for the video and- well he wanted to see me and give it to me" he added.
"My father saw you?"
"No! No- your grandfather gave it to me."
Spencer nodded, taking the card. "Did you read it?"
"No" he answered quickly. "I wouldn't do that" he shook his head.
She nodded, looking down at the envelope.
"Do you think I should open it?" she whispered.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
She shrugged, "that it's my birthday and I can open it tomorrow and it won't change a thing?"
"Then open it tomorrow," he shrugged, "or in an hour or next month or next year or not at all" he places his hands on her shoulders. "You don't owe him anything" he nodded.
"I know" she nodded. "Can you just," she ran her knuckles on her throat, "give me a second."
Remus didn't answer, Spencer quickly left to the bathroom.
She locked the door behind her before sinking to the ground, holding the letters close to her stomach.
Her other hand covering her mouth.
She shut her eyes, not allowing her tears to fall.
She sniffled, shaking her head at herself.
"Spence" Remus said from outside the door. "I'm sorry- I wouldn't have given-"
"It's okay, I'm okay" she gave him a sad laugh. "I just- need to breathe" she nodded to herself.
"Can I come in?"
"Give me a minute" she answered.
After two minutes, Remus sat down outside the door. His heart aching as he continued to hear her cry.
Fifteen minutes passed until he heard her unlock the door.
She didn't said anything, so he didn't go in.
"You can come in" she whispered.
Remus opened the door, finding her on the floor.
Her back against the wall.
"Hi" he said softly.
Spencer gave him a sad chuckle, "hello."
"How are you feeling?" he closed the door behind him.
"Like the old me" she admitted, looking at the wall in front of her.
"How did she feel?"
"Not good" she gave him a sad smile, not looking at him yet. "I just know this feeling so well," she looked up at the ceiling, "the sense of abandonment" she closed her eyes.
A tear escaped.
"Emptiness" her voice cracked. "I'm damaged."
"You're not- love" he sat in front of her, running his thumb on her knuckles. "You're not damaged-"
"I am" she nodded. "Beyond repair" she gave him a sad smile. "Everything I've gone through has made me this awful-"
"Going through bad things does not define you. You're a great person, worthy of everything" he cut her off.
"I'm a broken egg" she cried harder, covering her face with her hands.
"What?" he asked with a confused chuckle.
"I'm the cracked egg-" she sniffled, "Emily would- he's not going to put me in his shopping cart" she shook her head.
"I have good news for you" he sat beside her, his shoulder touching hers.
"What?"
"Well, number one, you're not an egg," Spencer started crying more, "but most importantly others will put you in their cart, Spence" he added. "So you're a little broken, who cares?" he shrugged. "We can glue you back together."
She nodded, still crying. "I like the teacup metaphor better" she laughed. "I guess I haven't completely learned how to live with the cracks, huh?" she looked over at him.
"It's hard" he nodded. "But you're still breathing so I'd say you're doing a pretty good fucking job" he smiled.
"Yeah" she sniffled. "I'm doing a good job" she smiled.
"Come, I want to show you something" he kissed her forehead before going back into the living room. "For the past few weeks, while you've been napping, I've picked up... well I don't know what one would call it" he sat down on the piano.
"A hobby?"
"Not really, a hobby requires one to continuously- you get my point" he answered. "This is for you" he said before placing his hands on top of the piano. "Here's to hoping for a better year."
Remus began playing happy birthday on the piano, a simple noise that filled Spencer's heart.
She smiled as Remus concentrated on his hands, making sure he hit the right keys.
Once he finished Spencer sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He wiped her face with his thumbs before placing his hands on her waist.
"I'm glad you were born" he said softly. "If not for this day, I wouldn't be here" he hugged her.
Spencer held him tightly, nodding slowly.
"Do you want to lie down for a nap?"
"No it's okay- let's just do whatever you have planned" she answered.
"Take a nap Spence," he shook his head, "I know you want to" he took his head back and smiled at her. "Believe it or not, we're doing what you want to do."
"Watch cheesy films and eat our weight in Chinese food?"
"Exactly" he answered.
"What did I do to deserve you" she caressed his face.
"I'm sure in another life you sacrificed someone" he shrugged.
"Ah yes, my Aztec roots" she chuckled.
"You're Aztec?"
"Well- the Aztecs were the Native Americans who dominated northern Mexico at the time of the Spanish conquest. Their origin is Mexican but they aren't necessarily Hispanic. Their values aren't Hispanic, and their language is not Spanish, their religion isn't Roman Catholic-"
"Wait- you're catholic?"
"No- well yes? Sorta? My mother is" she answered. "I grew up going to church but- well my point is- it's all confusing due to colonialism, thank you Europeans, but from what I've learned from the culture is that they sacrificed humans."
"Why?" he asked, intrigued.
"It was a serious and important thing for them," she shrugged, "Aztec priests used blades to slice open the chests of sacrificial victims and offered their hearts to the gods. They then tossed the victims' bodies down the steps of the towering Templo Mayor- to reverse drought and famine, etcetera etcetera."
"Etcetera Etcetera?"
"Well I only know this much because of my parents- I didn't attend secondary school in Mexico" she answered. "I'm sure there's more."
"So you're Aztec then?"
"Honestly? I don't even know" she shrugged. "Im sure my ancestors are. I grew up learning about Aztecs and Native Americans, not only that but the Mexican culture as it is today. I'm all of it in a way. I didn't spend much time in Mexico so most of it is forgotten by now and there's only so much I learned from my parents."
"So you were born in Mexico?"
"Yes."
"And how'd you get here? Isn't there a magical school there?"
Spencer laughed, "Remus I left Mexico when I was like eight or something, I didn't even know magic existed. But my dad got offered a job here and we all knew English already- it wasn't that hard to adapt."
"So... are you a citizen?"
"Why? Would you like to get married and make me one" she wiggled her eyebrows.
Remus laughed, "yes that is in fact the only solution."
"I have dual citizenship, yes" she answered.
"This is very interesting" he spoke. "Come on" he carried her upstairs.
"Did I bore you already?" she laughed.
"No but I know you're answering my questions to be polite, you can answer more later. But for now," he led them to their room, "sleep" he put her down gently.
"Are you going out?" she asked as he didn't lay down next to her.
"No but if you need something I can go get it."
"No it's okay" she smiled. "Maybe when I wake up we should go for a hike?"
"What happened to cheesy films and Chinese food?" he chuckled.
"There's twenty four hours in a day" she shrugged.
"Okay" he nodded before kissing her forehead. "We'll see how you feel later."
When she woke, Remus was hugging her waist. His head on her chest.
Nox was at the end of the bed, beside Spencer's feet.
It was late afternoon when Spencer enjoyed the sight before her.
Smiling as this was something she never imagined for herself.
"Very cute" Emily said from the chair.
"Yeah" Spencer whispered.
"Happy birthday Mis" Emily whispered.
God, I haven't heard that in a long time, she told herself.
"Happy birthday Bea" she chuckled lightly.
Emily gave her a sad smile, "I haven't heard that in a long time" she admitted.
"Me too" she whispered. "Joshua still calling you Betty?" Spencer asked, laughing as she caressed Remus' head.
"Mom too" she nodded.
Spencer nodded back, unsure what to say.
"Did she say anything?"
She cleared her throat, "no but dad sent a letter" she replied looking away from her sister.
"Oh."
"Yeah, well," she shrugged, "more than I expected if I'm being honest."
"How do we feel about that?"
"Can we talk about it another day?" Spencer asked. "I just-" she took in a deep breath, "I don't want Remus to have to deal with me having a mental breakdown again."
"When are you going to the Weasley's?"
"Tomorrow" Spencer said.
"In a couple days then."
"Sure."
Emily smiled. "I'm so proud of you" she said softly.
Spencer closed her eyes as she nodded.
"You're so hard on yourself Spencer," she shook her head, "you are bloody brilliant, realize that" she chuckled.
Spencer laughed, "have you been listening to George again?" she said tearfully.
"Yeah," Emily nodded, "I always will" she shrugged.
Spencer sniffled. "He misses you... all the time."
"Yeah, as he's making out with some girl in the corridor" Emily chuckled, wiping her tears. "Kidding. I know he does, I know" she smiled.
"Did you know Harry asked about you?"
She shook her head, "what did he ask?"
"Remus has been talking to him about his parents," she smiled looking down at him as he lightly snored, "I guess he wanted to know about you since he didn't really know you."
"That's nice of him" she replied. "I do know about his living situation..."
"Yeah" Spencer nodded.
"What are you planning?"
"Why would I be planning anything?"
"Spencer" she crossed her arms against her chest.
She rolled her eyes.
"I know you're doing something" Emily said. "You're blocking it from me."
"I didn't know that was a thing I could do" she pointed out.
"Stop trying to change the subject, What are you doing?"
"I'd like to do something" she shrugged. "I don't know what I can do, you know? I did some research though."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she answered, "I'd have to prove that I can take care of myself and him. His aunt would have to transfer custody to me and not only that but I need to prove I can provide proper housing and-"
"You want to adopt him?"
"No, he'd just be under my care."
"Spencer... what does Remus think of this?" Emily asked.
"I haven't asked" she shrugged.
"Wait- so while you're making plans-"
"Not making plans" Spencer cut in.
"-on adopting a 13 year old, you have yet to tell your boyfriend?!"
Spencer sighed, "Nobody knows" she looked at her sister. "Not even Harry."
"So why are you doing this?"
"It's what I would've wanted."
"And if you can't do it?"
"I'll die knowing I tried" she answered.
Emily just stared at her sister, not knowing what to say.
"Spencer... you can barely take care of yourself" Emily said softly.
Spencer rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Harry will be away at school for most of the year, all he needs is a house where he won't be abused-"
"I understand that his living situation is not ideal but have you thought about your own living situation? Spencer you need money to live, you need a place-"
"I have money."
"You have money."
"Yes, Emily. I have money."
Technically.
"You don't have a place to live" Emily countered.
Spencer shook her head, moving away from Remus' grasp and walking downstairs.
"Why do you think that is, Emily?"
"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have-"
"Yes. You shouldn't have."
"Think about it Spencer... how can you-"
"Emily, I'll find one" Spencer said sharply.
"This won't be easy-"
"I know it won't be easy!" she cut her off. "I know it probably wont even happen this summer or this year even! But if I get started now and I try- I just want to try, okay?"
Emily sighed.
"James and Lily would have wanted someone to try. I know that and I don't even know them" she shrugged. "But this is my decision, not Remus' or yours. Mine."
"I'm sorry" Emily whispered.
Spencer shook her head, "I understand where you're coming from. I just turned 18, I'm still in school, you name it. But even if I could only have Harry for a sleep over and let him sleep on a bed that isn't in the burrow for a night... that would be enough" she wiped her tears.
Emily nodded her head, "I know you'll be able to do it" she smiled.
Spencer gave her a teary chuckle, "I'd like to" she nodded.
"Why are you crying! It's your birthday" Joshua appeared.
"I was wondering where you were" Spencer smiled.
"Oh, you know, here and there" Josh shrugged. "So, tell me, have you guys had birthday sex yet?" he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Josh!" Spencer laughed out loud. "Jesus" she shook her head.
"I will take that as a yes then" he looked at Emily. "So, what are we talking about?"
"Just," Spencer shrugged, "what I'll be doing after I graduate" she answered.
"And that is?" Josh asked.
"Well, I need to find an apartment and a job" she said, "those are my priorities."
"Aren't you guys like, rich or something?" he asked. "I remember your dad-"
"Yes, my father has money. I do not" she cut him off. "I have some, but I don't want to rely on that."
"Ah yes, ever so humble" he chuckled.
Spencer smiled.
"And if it doesn't work out?"
"If what doesn't work out?"
"You know, what if you don't find an apartment or a job. What if-"
"I will find an apartment. I'm okay not finding a job" she chuckled.
"How much money are we talking about?" Emily asked.
"Hey" Remus said as he came from upstairs
"Hey" Spencer smiled at him.
"Hello" Joshua spoke.
"Joshua says hello" Spencer chuckled.
"Hi" he looked out. "You're awake" he looked back at Spencer.
"Yes, I was having a chat with Emily" she replied. "Are you ready for our hike?" she asked.
"Oh! you were serious."
"Yes" she laughed. "Or would you rather stay in-?"
"No! I'd love- lets go" he ran upstairs.
"Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow or something" she smiled at Emily and Joshua before running upstairs behind Remus.
"Why are we in a rush?" she asked laughing.
"You'll see," he threw her some clothes, "hurry" he said before he finished changing and went back downstairs, packing a bag.
"Okay," she said putting her shoe on, "I'm ready."
"Put the other one on in the car, c'mon!" he ran out the door.
They arrived to their location within 15 minutes, Remus parked the car and immediately got out.
"There's no one here" Spencer noticed the absence of cars.
"You'll love it" he took her arm and walked into the forest.
Within ten minutes, he stopped and walked away from the trail. Spencer could see an empty space.
"Yes, I am finally murdering you" Remus noted.
Spencer laughed, "reading minds now?"
"I try" he smiled back at her.
Once they reached the empty space, Remus set down the bag he was carrying and took out a blanket.
He set it on the ground, then sat down. He brought out a board game.
"How big is that bag?" Spencer asked.
"Sit" he replied.
"Yes sir" she sat down.
Remus laughed, "we just need to pass time for a bit" he shrugged.
"Okay" she nodded. "Well we could-"
"No" he shook his head.
"C'mon" she got on his lap. "You know you wanna" she moved her hips, her arms to his neck.
"When we get home," he whispered in her ear, "I promise" his hands moved to her waist.
Spencer felt something fall on her arm, she looked at it and saw a water drop.
"It's raining" she smiled before looking up.
"Give it a second" Remus said as he put the board game back in the bag, apparently they got there just in time.
The small drop quickly became a downpour, Spencer laughed and let the water hit her face.
She got off Remus, raising her arms and twirling in the rain. Remus smiled as he ran his hand through his hair, admiring her.
"It's raining!" she screamed happily.
She looked up at the sky, the rain creating her favorite sound.
For a minute, Spencer stayed there.
Just looking up at the sky between the leaves.
Then she ran to Remus, hugging him tightly.
"You're right, I do love it" she said before kissing him deeply. "Thank you, thank you, thank you" she chuckled.
"It's nothing" he shook his head.
"It's everything" she shook her head, moving the hair out of her face. "You're everything" she cried. "And I know I should tell you more-"
"You do" he shook his head.
"I should tell you more" she shook hers. "You are the best part of me," she looked at him, "I'm- I am very happy with you" she nodded.
Remus wiped her tears, "happy birthday my love."
She nodded, "thank you."