⚠️TW:⚠️ small panic attack (nothing new)
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I found two trays and put the food on them, along with cutlery, water and orange juice. After managing to get up the stairs without dropping anything, I lightly knocked on Robbie's door with my foot.
Lizzie had told me she slept in the same bed as him sometimes, so I checked his bedroom first. I heard a groan from the other side, so I took that as my cue to enter. I smiled lightly at the sight of Lizzie cuddled into Robbie's side, her face buried in his chest.
"Good morning", Robbie whispered, surprisingly awake. "Hi, I made you guys some breakfast, I'm leaving for the barn now", I informed him while putting the food down. "Thank you so much Nova, this looks delicious", Robbie thanked me.
"Lizzie is still pretty asleep, she's not really a morning person", he laughed, causing another groan to erupt from Lizzie as she half-consciously snuggled more into his side. "I get it, it's early, I'll be out of you guy's hair now. I'll be at the barn, call me if you need anything", I smiled before leaving them to it.
Ally was at the barn waiting for me when I got there, also pretty asleep. We did all the barn work first, before going for our hack. We took a little walk through the forest, galloping along the track.
Feeling a lot lighter, I said goodbye to Ally before taking the tube to my now new normal station. Looking at the time, I saw that it was a little past 8. Lizzie had sent me a text saying she was at work but to call her if I needed anything.
I replied with a thumbs up, sending the message right as I arrived at the station. Stepping out of the tube and looking around for creeps, I began my way home. It feels weird to be calling it home, I felt like an intruder when I let myself in with the key Lizzie had given me.
I took a nice shower and changed my bandages before sitting down by the desk with a huff. School work really wasn't very tempting right now. Hoping to find some motivation, I put on some quiet music before jumping right into it.
English and Science were a breeze. The hours ticked by, and I didn't move. Geography and Religion were also fine. Math, not so much. I had always struggled with math. It just didn't make sense to me.
I understood it up until like 7th grade, but when they started adding letters, I became completely lost. Letters don't belong in math problems!
Frustration was setting in. I couldn't figure it out. My stomach was pretty empty too though, I hadn't gotten up to eat anything. Being hangry and frustrated isn't a very good combination, let me tell you that.
I was losing myself to my thoughts. Math was important. Everyone else exceeded in it. I was so stupid! Why couldn't just be smart? What if Lizzie didn't want me if she found out how stupid I was?
My thoughts were so loud, I didn't even hear my door open.
Lizzie's pov:
I had called Nova's name multiple times, with no answer. Her stuff was in the foyer so I knew she was here. Immediately, I assumed the worst. What if she was passed out in the bathroom?
Worry filled me as I climbed the stairs as quickly as I could. Her bedroom door was closed, but I could hear quiet music from the other side. She didn't answer any of my knocks, so I slowly opened the door.
I let out a sigh of relief when I saw her sitting by her desk with her school work. "Hi Nova", I said quietly, not wanting to disturb her. "Nova?" I repeated, a little bit louder, but she still didn't react.
When I walked over to her, I saw her glossy eyes, her trembling bottom lip and her hands which were weaved firmly into her hair. "Nova baby", I said softly, putting my hands around her wrists. She flinched away from my touch, which made my heart clench.
She looked so out of it, so anxious. Her thoughts were eating her up. "Nova darling, can you hear me?" I asked. Her eyes slowly found mine, and the tears finally fell. "Lizzie", she choked out a sob.
"Hi baby, come here", I smiled sadly, opening my arms. With no hesitation, she launched herself into me. "Shhh, you're okay, deep breaths hun." I led her over to the bed and sat down beside her.
I gently held her wrists and tried to get them away from her hair. She fought against me and let out a whine. "Nooo..." She was clearly frustrated and low on energy. "Nova baby, you're hurting yourself." She slowly let me guide her hands down, and I put them in my lap, tracing patterns on her palms.
"There we go baby, keep breathing for me okay?" She nodded, wiping her tears. "You wanna tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" I asked once she had gotten the chance to calm down.
"It's stupid", she mumbled. "I'm sure it's not. Your emotions are valid, let yourself feel them."
"Were you struggling with school work?" I asked. She nodded. "I could try and help you if you want", I suggested. "It's fine", she mumbled. "That's what I'm here for, to help you."
"Okay..."
"Great! What subject are you struggling with?" I asked. "Math..."
"Ohhhh, math sucks", I said, earning a little laugh from Nova. "It does", she agreed. "Do you want to sit by the desk or on the bed?" I asked her. "Bed?" She answered almost as a question. "The bed it is."
I grabbed her textbook, her notebook and writing supplies. "That's another thing I'll have to get you. School stuff!" "It's fine, I have what I need", she tried to decline the offer. "That wasn't a question, you're getting spoiled", I said, shooting her a warm smile.
I'll be honest, her math work was hard. We both struggled, but with some teamwork and some Googling, we got there eventually. It wasn't all smooth sailing, Nova was on the brink of tears a couple of times, but we got there eventually.
"There we go! Do you have anything else you need to do?" I asked once we finished. "No, I always leave math until last so I'm done now." "That's good. When did you last eat?" I asked her, given I hadn't seen any new dirty dishes in the kitchen when I got home.
"Breakfast...", she mumbled. "You haven't eaten since breakfast?! Come on, we have to get you some food", I started panicking. She let me drag her down to the kitchen and I sat her down on one of the kitchen stools.
"You stay there. What do you want?" She shrugged her shoulders. "What about an omelette?" I suggested, looking at what we had in the fridge. "Sure."
I made the omelette and we ended up sharing it. We spent the evening watching a movie, cuddled up to each other. Every time Nova would nuzzle further into me, my body erupted into butterflies.
She was completely relaxed in my embrace, focused on the movie. I couldn't focus on the movie, I was taking in this beautiful moment with my new daughter.
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Aaaaand I'm back! How are we feeling today? I need a distraction so give me some stories abt your day :)
I'm at school, stressed and bored out of my mind. I'm just not feeling like it today.
But I'll be fine. Take care of yourselves please, eat something, have a drink of something (water, not vodka)
Love, Frida xx