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"𝐵𝑦 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑡
𝑊𝑒 𝒃𝒂𝒏 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒆 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑
𝐷𝑒𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑓𝑢𝑙
𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝐶𝑎𝑠𝑏𝑎ℎ 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑"
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𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, Sammy looked at her long time friend with a unsure face and tried to keep up with his fast pace, "We were coming up with hypotheticals...I didn't mean to actually do it."
"You worry too much Sammy. I'll take credit for all of it if it makes you feel better." Chris exclaimed, skipping towards the van, only looking back to send her a mischievous grin.
Stopping in her tracks, Sam thought about his offer and yelled out, "You can totally take credit if it flops, otherwise it was all my idea."
While waiting to load the cars on a ferry boat that would take them from Finland to Sweden, Sam and Pontius got bored and randomly started to plot makeshift pranks they would pull on each member. As a joke, Sam suggested to throw water on Steve-O as he was sleeping and Chris thought it was genius.
Swinging the door open, Pontius could see the faces of two very confused men. Jeff and Knoxville sat in the seats across from each other, going over their next steps for the trip, when they stopped their conversation and stared back at the wide-eyed man standing outside.
"Do you guys by any chance have a water bottle...preferably filled." Chris saw Knoxville try and hide his water by putting it behind him, squinting his eyes as the man did so.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Johnny laughed before asking, "For what use?"
"Don't ask questions, classified information." Sam interjected as she popped her head from the side of the door.
"Well well well, if it isn't little miss sticky fingers." Jeff taunted, jokingly glaring at the girl who has managed to snatch his pink bandanna, MP3 player and one of his magazines. He should've known by the first "hey can I see that real quick" that he wasn't getting any of his items back.
She tilted her head and with a sigh said, "Yeah yeah, don't cream yourself, Boo Boo."
"You know what?," Jeff laughed, turning his head towards Johnny while waving a finger at Sam, "I like this girl...let's keep her."
"I'd rather not. I'm missing my aviators and i have a strong feeling I know who's kidnapped them." Johnny speculated, looking back at the girl standing outside the van.
She turned her head to look behind herself and back around at the man staring her down, "I know you're not talking to me, Spikey. If I wanted your glasses they would've been gone by day one."
Using his thumb to point at the Jag, Chris quickly blurted, "I'll give you your glasses if you give me the bottle."
"You'll what-" Samantha gasped, snapping her head to face him. She was surprised he gave her up so easily for a prank. It took steady hands and a dead asleep Knoxville to slowly pry the shades off his face and onto her own eyes.
"Deal." Johnny interrupted her protest, giggling as he hoped out of his seat with the filled bottle in hand and ran away with Pontius to find a cameraman.
Standing with her mouth opened wide, Sam scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. She could hear Jeff inside the vehicle trying to contain his laughter and twisted her head towards him.
"We both know he's not getting those back any time soon, so he shouldn't get too excited." She asserted, climbing inside the car and sitting in Knoxvilles previous seat.
"Hey, a deals a deal," he started with his hands up, shrugging his shoulders he continued, "Party boy got his bottle and PJ gets his prized possessions back."
"Good luck with that. I've got them in a place where no one can find them." Sam stated proudly. Her toiletry bag wasn't the best place to hide them but what did he know, no man was going to go through her bag that was filled with tampons to look for a pair of glasses.
Shaking his head with a laugh, Jeff straightened up and cleared his throat, "I was being serious when I said I wanted to keep you by the way. I feel like we could really use your help."
Leaning back on the window, Sam raised an eyebrow, "Im not one to willingly hurt myself on camera for some laughs, so I don't know where I would be any help."
"Think more behind the scenes and less on the screen...I heard you were a nurse."
Sam began to roll her eyes and groan as soon as she realized what he was implying. Back in California, Samantha was working as an RN for a hospital in LA and she enjoyed it. The pay was good, her hours were great, and she had no reason to take up any other job.
"Did Chris put you up to this? He's been trying to get me to quit and become his personal caretaker for like two years now." Sammy complained, not too thrilled with the idea of tending to her idiotic friend for no money or days off.
"Actually, it was Steve-O." Jeff stated, crossing his arms over his chest. He tried hiding his smile when he saw Sams face change with the mention of the boys name.
Opening and shutting her mouth, trying to figure out the words she wanted to say, Jeff's comment left her flustered. She remembers telling Steve-O about her job back when they were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in Russia, trying to pass time by telling each other random facts about themselves.
A tampon flying at the girls face and an out of breath Johnny running up to the car with his glasses in hand made the two adults shift their attention. Knox stuck half his body in the car, using one hand to hold himself up and the other to flip off the girl.
"One, Nice try. Woman products and underwear weren't going to stop me from getting these back, Sam Bam," Johnny waived the hand that had the aviators and took a deep breath before continuing, "And two...it's go time."
"One," she started in a mocking tone, tossing the feminine product back at him, "If you made a mess in my bag looking for your glasses I will castrate you."
He sucked in his teeth and shortly glanced at Jeff who wore an amused face. Tremaine just raised his hands up in defense and stuttered out, "Me personally, I wouldn't mess with her. I saw her put Pontius in a headlock and keep a tight grip just because he burped in her ear."
"Ugh, don't remind me." Sam shivered, reliving the moment all over again- One thing Sammy hates more than people pinching her arms to get her attention is the sound of people burping, farting, or any other disgusting thing that comes out of the human body.
"We'll go back to the topic of chopping my balls off later, we're boarding the fairy in less than ten minutes and mission 'wake up sleep-o' is in motion." Johnny nagged, reaching to grab the girls arm to drag her over to where Pontius and Dimitri stood.
Planting her feet on the ground, Sam leaned back and tried to yank her arm back, "Excuse me, but I was in the middle of a conversation-"
"-Go do your mission or whatever the fuck...I'll still be here and we can continue this later." Jeff interjected, waving the girl out the door.
Groaning, Sam let Johnny pull her all the way out and he didn't let go of her arm till they met up with the two other men. Pontius was gripping the water bottle with both hands, holding it close while giggling. Dimitri stood there recording the open door of the Jag, getting a glimpse of a knocked out Steve-O, and then pointing the camera at Sam and Johnny.
Knoxville wrapped an arm around the girl and brought her closer to the camera, "Why don't you explain what's about to go down, Sammy."
"If I must...Steve-O, better known as Sleep-O for the remainder of this trip, hasn't done anything but sleep...So, with the help of this little lad," She directed her hand to Pontius who was stationed in front of the sleeping man with the bottle ready to be squeezed, "we are going to give him a little wake-up."
"Well said, lady Sam Bam." He teased in a British accent, bowing down to her while clapping.
Curtsying, She replied back in the same accent, "Why thank you, Sir Spikes."
"Hey! You said you wanted no part in this." Chris whisper-yelled, staring at the girl from across the car. He waited for her to turn from the camera and to him, one hand on his hip and the other holding the bottle.
Turning to face the boy, Sam stood with her hands blocking the sun and shrugged her shoulders, "I change my mind. It's actually planned out so I know it'll be good."
Rolling his eyes, Chris nodded at the camera next to him and ran up to the car. He threw the water on Steve-O, to which the boy immediately woke up to.
Sitting up in his seat, Steve-O spit the water the was dripping from his face and stood still trying to figure out what just happened to him. Placing a hand to her mouth, Sam tried to hold back a laugh as she jogged over to where she could be face to face with the boy. She could see from the inside that his face and upper half of his body were now wet, the seat he was once laying on now collecting a pool of water.
"What happened?" Pontius asked, a hint of mischief in his voice.
Taking of his glasses, Steve-O looked past Sam and to Chris, "Fuck you, dude. Fuck you is what happened."
Steve-O grabbed a random shirt that was laying around the seats and tried to dry himself off with that. He could hear the sound of Pontius' laugh and tried to block it out by shoving his face in the shirt.
Crouching down to his level, Sam had to bite her lower lip to try and keep a straight face, "You want some help?"
"No," Looking at her and then back down to the mess, Steve-O shook his head, "For all I know, you were in on this."
"I'm feeling a lot of hostility at the moment." She said while waiving her hand around. Pushing off her knees, Sam walked over to the trunk to grab a towel, ignoring his wishes.
Shooing off the boy that was leaning on the hood, Samantha opened the trunk only to find her bag missing. Doing a double take, she dug through the mess of what was supposed to be a trunk and couldn't find it anywhere.
"What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, pulling away from the trunk and facing the boy she had previously shooed away.
"I don't want to get ugly, Drew," Sam sighed, staring at the boy with a tired face, "Please don't make me get ugly."
"It was Knoxville." Pontius blurted out quickly, figuring if he told the girl the truth he wouldn't be in the middle of her warpath.
"Thank you for the honesty, ChrissyPoo." Nodding her head, Samantha grabbed a towel from her friends bag and slammed the trunk closed. Wringing the towel in her hands, she slapped the boy with it as she made her way back to Steve-O.
"I already told you I don't want your help." A now semi-dried Steve-O grunted out, trying to unravel the drenched headphones that were around his neck.
Climbing in the backseat, trying not to get bothered by the wet spots she was most definitely sitting on, Sam tossed Steve-O the towel with a sarcastic grin while trying to help with the cords around him, "How about you just accept my generosity and stop arguing with me?"
Tossing the headphones to the floor once fully detangled , Steve-O sat back in the chair and puffed out a breath of air, "Did you have any part in this?"
"Me?", Sam gasped shocked, "I would never do something so cruel."
"Yeah, you're just too innocent." He scoffed, not falling for her bluff.
Staring at the man with an offended face, Sam argued, "Innocent? What do you know about me and being innocent."
Glancing at her and then back at the roof of the car, Steve-O laughed to himself while shaking his head.
"You're funny."
"You'll see how funny I really am next time I plan something against you-"
"-So you did have something to do with it." Steve-O interrupted with a smirk. He looked at the girl who's mouth was left open, having nothing to say to defend herself, "Gotcha."
Left dumbfounded, Sammy tried to help herself but was stuck with nothing.
"I'll tell them to use pee instead of water next time."
And with that, the girl slipped out of the car and strutted towards the van. She never liked being called out or caught in a lie, and Steve-O did both.
//𝐚.𝐧.
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞...𝐠𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭