Izzy and I clap our hands together in a form of applause, the both of us still remained on her bed with Coop standing right in front of us.
He can't help but roll his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips.
"Yeah. Um I've been meaning to tell you guys, and it's not that I don't like being paid to hang out with my best friend practically but I just need a job you know? It has benefits and everything."
Coop's left hand is in his pocket while the other is going along with his words in this movement and he looks so proud of himself that he seems to be glowing.
He got a job.
Since Coop knows almost twelve languages fluently, this new software company hired him in a heartbeat, his job being to translate their words, letters, and emails so their business partners in foreign countries can understand.
He's going to get paid good money and finally has a reason to wear a suit.
I sign to him, saying that I'm proud and he begins to laugh nervously again, his shoulders shrugging and yeah maybe Coop is the most humble human being I have ever fucking met.
"Yeah um thanks like I'm proud of myself too, you know? I mean I even get like an office. Like it's not big or anything but it's also not like a shitty cubicle. It has a door and stuff and I feel like it may be one of those fancy ones too. Like the one's that are made of that shiny dark brown wood with one of those handles that make a dada sound when you turn it. Like fuck, I'm going to have an expensive fucking door guys."
Izzy doesn't really say anything, she just responds with a wide smile and opens her arms wide when she sits herself up, Coop walking to her immediately to accept her hug.
She makes a small circle on his back with her hand and he kisses the top of her head before he laughs again and we all just stand there smiling for a bit.
"Have you told Danny yet, Coop?" she finally speaks, her tone even bubblier than usual.
He runs his fingers through his hair before nodding.
"Yeah. He said he's happy for me and wanted to go shopping with me to get some ties since the one I have from tenth year isn't exactly suitable."
I roll my eyes before exaggerating a gasp.
'What, really!?' I mouth, Coop flipping me off quickly before all three of us chuckle.
"Yeah. I was wondering if you two wanted to come with as well? I mean it would help make the whole situation of Danny and I look less suspicious and I really enjoy you two hanging out with me."
"Oh, Coop! How you flatter us!"
He laughs again before bending down to tap her forehead, Izzy answering for the both of us immediately after.
"Of course, Coop. I've been wanting to meet this Danny of yours anyway. Just tell me when and I'll fit you into my planning book."
Izzy winks and I nudge her shoulder teasingly before, Coop sits himself at the end of the bed, the mattress drooping a bit.
"Sorry about that by the way. It's just that-"
"Coop, you don't have to explain. I understand."
His smile fades for a second before it's forced unnaturally, everything seeming to be plastic.
"Um I just wish sometimes that he would..."
He stops himself from saying anymore before shaking his head, changing the subject since he feels that he will kill the happy mood if he speaks of his concealed feelings.
Like always.
Neither Iz and I say anything. We just let the subject change and even though we can all have conversations about anything, our words never running out, Coop always finds it hard to even mutter the words I, me, and or feel in a sentence much less the same sentence.
He throws the gun away before he can pull the trigger.
"I get my own parking space for free too."
I smile softly at him and he glances at me.
"Winn, remember how we always wanted to know how it would feel to be able to park in that space that's always in those fancy plazas with those rock things in front of them that say Employee Parking? Well now I'm going to know how it feels, no one is going to get to park in my space."
This is Coop for you really. He's a man with bright hazel colored contacts that has a sister that has had cancer twice, a father that died when he was seven, a mother who is gone all the time, a boyfriend that he can't even hold hands with in public, a best friend who is mute, yet gets so damn excited knowing that he gets a free parking space to park his hippie bus in even though he will most likely be surrounded by large varieties of fancy cars that have names that make you sound like you have a funny accent when you try to pronounce them.
This is Coop and I'm so fucking happy that he got a job with a fancy door. The man deserves it.
'I'm jealous.' I sign, Coop chuckling and smiling genuinely again before resting his whole body against the bed, all three of us laying on it like a puzzle.
"What about you two? Any news I should know about?"
Change of subject Coop edition part two.
I would like to focus on him for once. I would like to ask him about his new job more like what he plans on putting on his desk, what he's going to put his computer's wallpaper as, if he's going to go suede or leather for his shoes, and if he can count how many people will go up to him and ask him about the weather the first day, but again, he doesn't like bragging about good things in his life. He thinks it's annoying and would be narcissistic of him when really it's a natural human instinct and he should embrace this good he has instead of hiding it.
However, I go along with it, not wanting to spoil anything for him, Izzy doing the same as she just shrugs and begins to speak again.
"Well remember that fanfic I read the other week that I was obsessed with, Coop?"
Coop shuffles his body, laying himself on his stomach with his hands now holding his head as his elbows rest on the mattress for support, his attention on his sister.
"Yeah. The Niall one right? The one you were crying about because the chick died at the end?"
I stifle a giggle, trying to contain my amusement because,
a.) Izzy cried for like two days because of the ending.
and
b.) It was a story about Louis' friends which is kinda odd but I don't judge.
"Shhh, Coop. Don't even bloody remind me. And like yeah, she kind of replied to my comment yesterday!"
I give Izzy an impressed nod and thumbs up, her teeth now showing as she thinks about it.
"Well shit. Congrats. What'd she say?"
She holds her finger up, grabbing her phone from the nightstand beside her and for a second, Coop drops his hands in alert since she seems to be struggling, but she stops him.
"I can get it, Coop. Sit sit sit."
He nods hesitantly even though she can't even see him before finally turning back to her position, her hand resting on my shoulder as she takes a breath and looks at her phone.
"Okay, like she's not really popular so of course she saw my comment but like oh my god, Coop."
The side of Coop's lip curls up and he sits up completely this time, his legs crossing over each other.
"Go on."
She clears her throat dramatically when her finger finally stops scrolling and she gives a bright smile.
"Thank you so much. I am very flattered by your comment as I am flattered by all your comments @IzabelWaters. And I'm sorry that the ending was kind of a downer. However, sometimes death is just plainly unavoidable. Whether it be of the physical kind or even of the emotional. It's a profound thing, yes, but sometimes death can make things seem more important, this flash of relevant realization hitting someone in the dark and helping them see that there is a way out of a shadow. And also people sometimes just drink too much than they can handle and just... well that."
"Your username is IzabelWaters?"
"Coop! That wasn't the point. Like this person that writes super amazing replied to meeee."
My mouth is in a straight line and that girl's response just keeps on echoing in my head. I wish she would write that on a napkin for me.
"Well yeah like fuck. She's pretty deep in just a comment. Don't want to even know how her story is."
"It was amazing, Coop like she compared love to rocket launchers and made it sound so pretty, I wanted to cry."
"You always want to cry."
"Shut up, Coop. Like this is a big deal!"
"I'm just teasing! I'm seriously happy for you. How old is this chick anyway?"
"Twenty-three and her name isn't , chick. It's Magnolia."
"Twenty-three and writing fanfiction..."
"IT'S ART, COOP"
I begin to smile again, Coop's hands up in a defensive way before he laughs softly.
"Alright! Alright!"
He turns to me, his eyes rolling.
"What about you, Winn? Anything happen with, Louis recently?"
I feel my cheeks heat up at the mention of his name, and I realize that Izzy's hand is still on my shoulder once I feel her squeeze it.
I open my mouth, but quickly close it after licking my lips, not really knowing what to say.
"Spill."
'Nothing-'
"Spill, Winn or I swear to god I will find the weirdest, Louis story on Izzy's phone and read it out loud to you."
"Coop!"
My hand quickly goes to my face as I groan heavily from embarrassment, my head shaking.
'Fuck.' I mouth.
"Winnieeeee."
I sigh before removing my hand and sitting myself up as well, both of my hands going to my hair as I pull the strands to the side and begin curling them around my finger individually.
Coop sucks at blackmailing people (Thanks Oxford), but I still don't want to even hear anything about fictional, Louis no matter how deep it is. That's what I have the real one for.
I know my face is probably red, that I'm completely flushed and I feel myself kind of shy away when I begin signing, Coop translating everything to, Izzy as I do so.
I tell them about the phone call from yesterday, the one that got me feeling all manic and hopeless for, Louis. Well even more than I was already before.
We were texting.
I had my headphones on and was listening to this new band I found while reading a digital issue of an Avengers comic I bought on my Ipad, Louis telling me about this couple in the crowd at one of the concerts. He said that he thinks the guy was forced to go with his girlfriend. I asked why and he explained how the girl was wearing merchandise from head to toe, a picture of his face seeming to be on the nails of her index fingers even and that her boyfriend was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt, his arms crossed over his chest in a I don't want to be here, I only listen to Led fucking Zeppelin way.
I laughed loudly at that, telling him how it did seem kind of fishy and then he responded and my chest was feeling that thing again.
From: Llama Tomlinson
There's only a month left and I'm done...Are we going to speak about the details of our date?
I replied back, my other hand dropping my Ipad completely on my bed as I focused all my attention on my phone. He has a month. Then he of course is going to visit his family, but then... he's going to see me again.
To: Llama Tomlinson
Yeah. When do you want to talk about it?
I was taken off guard to say the least. I mean I know we were going to have to talk about it at some point but I didn't think it would be so soon. Especially since I still had and have no idea where the hell I'm going to even take him. I mean it can't be public really since if pictures come out, my parents will kick my ass but I also don't want to do it at a hotel room or somewhere so closed in. I want it to be open and have this feeling of freedom yet it still be private.
Then my phone rang and I grew nervous, excited, surprised and everything in between and beyond and I was just staring at my screen for a few seconds, reading over his contact name over and over again until I finally took a deep breath and answered, my headphones still plugged in so no one in my house could hear and so I could text him my responses easily instead of having to put my phone back down and back up over and over again from my ear to my lap.
"Hi." He simply said, my stomach turning and my smile beginning to appear.
I texted him.
Hi
"It's midnight and I'm in Chicago and Niall's fucking snoring and I really want to go on this date with you already."
I covered my face with my right hand, beginning to giggle and hearing, Louis join in through the line.
People used to put pieces of soap in people's mouths when they would snore so they would stop.
"Hmmmmm. Did it work?"
Well they would usually choke until they woke up or die so I guess.
"Sounds morbid....but it might just work."
We both laughed, thinking about it now, I understand where that fanfic girl that replied to Izzy was going with the whole rocket launcher thing.
Just hearing, Louis made me feel as if this piece of me was skyrocketing, his voice causing me to explode at the end in all the right ways.
"Who was your first date, Winnie?"
His voice was in this soft whisper, most likely not wanting to wake anyone up and it reminded me of the wind that appears the next day after a big storm when the weather is cold but not too cold and the sky is this pastelish aqua color covered with wispy clouds.
Mathew Nottingham. The son of one of my mother's coworkers at the center.
"When was this?"
When I was sixteen.
"How was it?"
I practically snorted at the thought of Mathew Nottingham. He was two years younger than me, conceited, had this piece of hair that would always stick up at the side right behind his left ear that always drove me mad, and would always drink two cups of water before he would eat which for some reason aggravated me. I only decided to go out with him in the first place because his mum used to bring me these nifty pens with fur at the end that reminded me of trolls and my mum practically begged me.
He told me that my hair reminded him of ramen noodles before they're cooked and told me that he didn't like the smell of my perfume.
"So I'm guessing it wasn't great.... Well what a dick. That sucks."
I shrugged to myself, knowing that, Louis couldn't possibly see me at all.
I mean it was kinda cool though that he knew sign language. But then again, he still wouldn't listen to me.
Louis didn't answer for a while, everything silent and I began to panic, thinking he had hung up or something.
"He knew sign language?"
I released a breath of relief.
Yeah. He knew spanish and french too.
"Oh."
Is everything okay?
I pressed send hesitantly, not wanting the conversation to end but also worried about where it would go. He was beginning to seem a bit off and I knew that it was because of something I said.
I heard him yawn through the line and he cleared his throat.
"Was he your first kiss too?"
He ignored my question completely and my chest was feeling tight again.
Nope.
"Who was it? How many dates have you been on?"
I was unsure were all these questions were coming from all of a sudden. Did he have to know about all my romantic yet non romantic relationships in order for him to go on a date with me? I felt like he was maybe using these question as some sort of test and it wasn't making me feel comfortable.
But I answered anyway.
I've only been on a date with him really and Coop was my first kiss.
Everything goes silent again before I hear a holy shit leave his lips. I brought my phone closer to my mouth, laying myself down against my bed completely to get more comfortable.
"You and Coop had a thing? But I thought the dude was like gay like completely."
I sigh, moving my ipad to the side so I had more space.
He is. But back then he was unsure and wanted to make sure and I hadn't had my first kiss and he wanted to see if he liked kissing girls and so it happened and then he went and hooked up with some guy at a bar and I watched Toy Story 3 with Izzy.
"Sounds like it was some day."
It was I guess. I mean I didn't feel anything though and he tasted like lemon which I hate and he told me that it felt like he was kissing his cousin or something.
"You hate lemon?"
Yeah. It tastes like the drop of a roller coaster. And I hate roller coasters.
"What did I taste like?"
This time I didn't answer for a while. I froze and my cheeks flushed again and all of these words popped up into my head immediately which really sucks because if I were to have said everything in my mind, the world would have collapsed from the weight so I had to choose.
"Winnie? Are you there?"
Yeah I'm here. You tasted like the end of a movie.
"End of a movie, huh?"
Yeah like you tasted like completion and a happy ending.
"Fuck, Winnie."
I'm sorry.
"No. No. Like don't be. I just- I really want to kiss you again. Can I kiss you at the end of our date? Am I allowed to do that?"
You can do it before if you want. I really don't mind.
I bit my lip and pressed send, a small hum escaping his lips.
"I just- I don't know like I don't want to kiss you before and then you get disappointed about the date and you feel shitty after because you kissed this dude that hasn't gone on a date in years that thinks he has it all together and ends up fucking it up."
You won't.
"What if I do?"
You won't.
He took a deep breath through the line, my name repeating itself in his voice.
"I'll take your word for it."
Good.
"You're hoodie is really comfortable by the way."
Really?
"Yeah. I'm wearing it right now actually. It's nice and big and can hold like two Xbox remotes in the pocket."
I felt my heart melt a little at that. It was sort of a big leap for me to send him that thing. He told me he liked it and I figured why not? It was one of the greatest decisions I've ever made.
I miss seeing your t-shirts.
He laughs, this silent laughter that's melodic and grand in every way.
"You do? Didn't think you even noticed them."
I did. And yeah I do. They're wicked.
"Which is your favorite?"
The one that says Love Will Tear Us Apart.
"Oh? Well that's mine too. I love Joy Division. They have really good tunes."
Agreed. And, Louis?
"Yes, Winnie?"
I miss you too.
"Don't say that."
I felt a bit of panic rise inside me. I felt like I fucked up, saying too much yet again. I'm the kind of person that gets caught up in a moment, my mood always turning into something deeper in certain situations, these words that I would never have the confidence to say appearing right before my eyes and ears in my voice when I get so sucked in by the vortex of feelings and simple words that mean so much.
Why?
He muttered a fuck under his breath and I closed my eyes in frustration at myself.
"I am literally the cheesiest bastard around you."
They opened again, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I-"
He sighed.
"I'm not really a person that likes to talk about things they feel and stuff but yeah like I want to tell you no matter how cliche it sounds. Alright?"
I didn't text anything.
"Like I don't like hearing that you miss me because then that means that- like it reminds me that you're not here."
My stomach was turning and twisting and I missed him even more, I liked him even more and I felt like this feeling was probably bad for my health for some reason because it felt too right to be normal.
I don't think I'll be able to hold off the kissing until after our date, Louis.
He chuckled once.
"Yeah me either."
Izzy is giggling immensely when I finish the story, Coop just nodding.
"So you told him about the whole kissing thing?"
I feel my whole body freeze and I mentally face palm.
'Oh. I'm so sorry. You don't mind do you? That I told him?' I sign, a small smile growing on his lips immediately.
"Nah. Course I don't mind. Was just surprised but it's cool. Did I really taste like lemon though?"
Izzy laughs even more and I shrug.
He curses.
"Fuck. That's gross. I think I ate like sweets though before it happened. Maybe it was that."
"Coop, do you really care if you taste like lemon?"
"Iz, would you want a boy that tastes like lemon to kiss you?"
She shrugs and I rest my head on her shoulder, a small yawn leaving my lips.
"Hey if it finally gets me some action, he can taste like grapefruit for all I care, Coop."
I laugh and Coop covers his ears with his hands.
"I'm not hearing this from my little sister! Nope!"
She rolls her eyes.
...
The rest of the afternoon went by pretty well. Celeste came back from her trip to Atlanta and brought home these Coca Cola t-shirts from the factory over there for the three of us.
I thanked her with a hug and immediately put it on over my tank top, now having an article of clothing to match my camera lanyard.
Coop and I helped her unpack and when Coop told her about his new job, she grew teary eyed and held him in her arms tightly, repeating how proud she was in his ear. He grew a bit embarrassed but still hugged her tightly in return anyway, Celeste already walking herself out of her room door to head to the kitchen so she could cook Coop's favorite (Vegan Saffron Risotto). However, Coop immediately stopped her before she could even reach the hallway, laughing a bit at her excitement.
She had just gotten back and he knew that she was exhausted, so instead he heated up some of the leftover vegan mac and cheese he made for him and Izzy yesterday and we all sat around the table, listening to Celeste talk about her trip and about this man with bunny slippers that sat next to her on the plane.
She said that she could have sworn that she heard him call them Charlie and Phil and she was uncomfortable the whole time.
We all laughed and enjoyed each other's company until I checked the time and decided to return home so I could see my parents. My dad had texted me that he was in the mood to watch the Avengers and I couldn't say no to that.
So when Coop dropped me off at home, I felt content and ready for the next part of my day which so far seemed to be a great one. However, that soon changed when I walked through the door and automatically heard screaming coming from the family room.
I heard my dad and Gene, my mum no where in sight.
I'm now slowly walking myself closer and closer, their voices growing louder and more consuming and since Sylvia isn't here, my dad is using this harsh voice that seems a bit terrifying.
I don't know what to do or how to react or what the argument is even about. They still haven't heard me I'm guessing since the screams are still being thrown at one another, so I kind of just stop a few feet away from the entrance, my hands holding eachother.
"DAMMIT, GENE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU! YOU'RE ONLY EIGHTEEN AND I WON'T ALLOW THIS!"
"IT ALREADY HAPPENED! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT ANYMORE! IT'S MY LIFE!"
"YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD DIE FOR THIS EDUCATION?! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL!"
I heard these broken sounds coming from her voice, her very strained and torn apart voice that sounded like the scratching of a chalkboard.
"I EARNED MY SCHOLARSHIP! OKAY?! STOP ACTING AS IF YOU GAVE IT TO ME!"
"I PROVIDE FOR YOUR LIFE, GENE! WITHOUT ME NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE EVEN HAPPENED! NONE OF IT!"
"SHUT UP! I'M SMART! I GOT THIS BECAUSE OF THAT I-"
She stopped herself, her coughs interrupting her. They sounded like smoke in some weird way.
"I JUST DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE, OKAY?! WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT?"
"BECAUSE YOU CAN FULFILL SO MUCH YET YOU'RE THROWING IT ALL AWAY?! AND FOR WHAT?! FOR NOTHING!"
"YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE! STOP ACTING AS IF YOU DO, ST-"
"YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEGUN IF YOUR MOTHER AND I DIDN'T BUY YOU!"
The room grows silent and I feel like there is no more oxygen in the air. It's cold and brutal and I want a jacket, not only for comfort but to hide in. I want one that can suck me up and make me forget about the words that fell from my father's lips. They were one of the harshest words I have ever heard.
"Gene."
Her sobs are loud enough to hear from the front of the house and I still don't move.
"No. Y-you're right."
"Gene..."
"I-I'm gonna go. I'm gonna r-run out of here and I don't want you to follow me."
"Gene please don't."
The sound of her footsteps suddenly grow louder and louder each second that passes. And I know she's heading my way, she's heading towards the front door and I don't know if I want her to see me or not, if I want her to know that I'm even here. But when she sees me and falls to the floor right beside my feet, her face hitting the marble, I get my answer.
Her sobs are loud and uneven sounding, her eyes watering even more once she looks up and sees that I'm here.
They widen and she just shakes her head in a quick manner, one of disbelief and disappointment.
She tries to get herself up, her arms shaking in the process before she's finally on her feet again, her balance almost losing itself for a second time when she leans her body against a wall for support.
I just stare at her and I hear my dad beginning to come and then she leaves.
She had a bruise on her cheek.
"GENE!" He screams.
He doesn't even look at me and I begin to walk up to my room.
Maybe that writer is right. Sometimes death is just plainly unavoidable. Whether it be of the physical kind or even of the emotional. It's a profound thing, yes, but sometimes death can make things seem more important, this flash of relevant realization hitting someone in the dark and helping them see that there is a way out of a shadow. However, I don't think Gene is going to get out of a shadow anytime soon.
I think, Gene is the shadow.
--------------------------------------------
Hey guys! How are you all???? Well this chapter was very important. Not only for Louis and Winnie but for, Gene. If it wasn't exactly clear (Sorry it's midnight and I'm tired :p) Gene dropped out of her school and her dad is hella pissed. Her dad btw was not the one that gave her the bruise. No physical family abuse here. And I would like to thank allll of you because I REACHED 900 FOLLOWERS THIS WEEK LIKE HOLY FUDGE BALLS I TEARED UP NO JOKE!!!
I want to do something hella special so I was thinking an update of anything you guys want? Like would you want a double update of SL for this week coming up? Chocolate update? Or maybe even Denim first chapter update? Comment if you want what you all want :)
Side is gif of Gene and btw there was a Chocolate reference here ;) The fanfic writer that replied to Izzy was in fact Magnolia (the main girl from Chocolate!) :DDD
Song on the side reminds me of Gene and what Winnie thinks of her.
Btw I haven't checked for grammar or anything so I'm sorry if mistakes. I'm tired and will check tomorrow and fix. I promise.
ILY ALL! And please
Comment
Vote
Fan
Other