Aliyah
I was at the door number that was on the paper. I was scared. It could be set up to kidnap me for whatever reason. There was no way for Kazimir to help me. I didn't tell him where I was going.
I don't what to expect when I came here. I finally decided to knock, but my heart was beating out of my chest. I was slightly shaking and my skin was alert.
The door opens and he stands there. He was still wearing the suit from earlier, it was just ruined now. His eyes lit up, when he saw it was me.
"Mi amor," he says, softly.
"Don't call me that, I just want answers," I said.
I enter the room and he closes it behind him. I looked around and I was in more casual attire. It was luxurious and I didn't expect anything less.
"How are you alive?"
I just went straight for it. I didn't sugarcoat anything and didn't bother trying to catch up.
"I was just injured and people thought I died," he shrugged.
"You never thought to contact me? Try to see if I was okay? I was fucking worried and I was stressing out the babies, you never thought to see if we were okay?" I yell.
"I was in a fucking coma by the time I woke up you were gone," he says.
"You never looked for me," I said.
My voice cracked and my eyes became blurry. Tears were brimming my eyes and I just didn't know how to feel. I used to be deeply in love with this man and was always ready for the next child that would come out.
"I did, I couldn't find you. I thought about you everyday, but it seems you have moved on."
He comes closer to me, I couldn't believe it that after all these years that he was here. He puts his hands on my cheeks and I put my hand over his.
His hands were calloused and were the same rough hands that I remember. He was still the same way I remember him.
"I lost everything and couldn't live like that anymore," I whispered.
"I understand, but I wish I was able to get to you sooner before he had."
I looked at him and he lifted my face up. My tears fall out of my eyes and I cried softly thinking about all the pain I went through. I stared into his brown eyes that were glistening over.
He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I was hesitant at first, but slowly eased into the kiss. He put his hands around my waist and pulls me close to him.
He kisses me with more desperation and pushes his tongue into my mouth. I thought of Kazimir and how he would kiss me. The way he would take his time and learned my body language.
The way he would kiss, suck and bite on my neck. The way he would suck on my lips and use his tongue to dominate me. His hands grabbing my hips pulling me against him not allowing a slither of space between us.
Juan pulled off my shirt and leads towards a bedroom. I start to undo the buttons on his shirt and he took it off. He grabbed my breast and kissed each one.
I didn't want him touching my breast, because that has never been his thing. He isn't a big fan of boobs. He was more of an ass person. That was more of a Kazimir thing.
I pushed his head lower and away from my boobs. I don't like the idea of him touching my breast at all, that was only something for Kazimir. He kissed down to my stomach and takes off my pants.
I was in my bra and panties, he takes me in. His eyes blaze with lust and he licks his lips. It wasn't that adoring look that I expected, but it's been years. I didn't expect him to feel the same way or look at me the same.
"Lay on the bed," he orders.
I get onto the bed and rest on my elbows. I part my legs and he rips off my panties. He ruined my panties and I guess I'm leaving here without any underwear.
"Condom," I said.
I was glad that I was able to remember one. I wasn't sure on why I had said it. I let Kazimir fuck me raw not to long ago and I wasn't sure about Juan.
"Tell me you don't let that white motherfucker fuck you raw?" He asked, in Spanish.
I bit my lip and averted his gaze. He cursed in Spanish and walked to the nightstand. He got out a condom and tore it open. He took off his pants and revealed his cock to me. He rolled on the condom.
He eases into me and I let out a small moan. I closed my eyes as he slowly thrust into me. Kazimir plagues my mind and him talking dirty stuff to me in Russian.
I opened my eyes and looked at Juan. He thrusts deeper into me and I just couldn't feel anything towards him. It wasn't the same as before, it was only setting on me now. I closed my eyes and imagined Kaz.
I imagined it was him sliding in and out of me. Grabbing my hips and thrusting into me. It was his body touching my body. I couldn't open my eyes and look at Juan.
"Malyshka, you take my cock so well," he moans.
"Yes," I pant.
"You love my cock fucking your pussy baby."
"Oh yess," I moan.
I feel Juan grabbing my hair and going faster inside of me. I open my eyes and it brought me back to reality. I only felt this way towards him because it was a trauma response. I was trafficked for how long and then he came into my life.
I let him fuck me however he pleased. Kazimir on my mind for the rest of the time and I waited for it to be over. I wanted Kazimir's touch not his. I faked my orgasm as he got closer to his.
I might have partially orgasmed as I though of Kaz again. Thrusting deep inside my wet heat and filling my insides with him.
He pulls out and the condom filled with his cum. I looked at him and my heart felt empty. There was no longer anything there. Whatever I was holding onto was the past. It was the false reality I made myself believe.
"Stay," he murmurs.
"I can't he will be looking for me and if I stay longer he will keep me on a tight leash," I partially lied.
"Who cares, we could be together again Mi amor," he says.
"Just a bit longer," I reassure.
"How long?" He ask.
"I'm not sure," I answered.
He moves away and I assume to go clean up. I just wanted to hurry up and leave. I picked up my shirt and put it on. I got my leggings and put them on.
They felt different without my panties on, but it would work. He came back out and he has boxers on. He comes over to me and picks up my panties, I reach to take them from him mine.
"I'm going to keep these," he smirks.
"I wonder who's fault why there in shreds."
"I guess we will never know."
"I have to go," I brought up.
"Right," he mutters.
We leave the bedroom and he walks me to the door. He kisses me and whisper sweet nothings in Spanish. I eventually left and I dread going back to the penthouse.
***
I head straight for the shower and didn't speak to Kazimir. I wanted to wash off any hints of Juan on me. I don't know how I was going to tell Kazimir.
My heart dreaded to even bring up the conversation. I put on one of his shirts to engulf myself in his scent. I only wore my panties, because wearing a bra felt useless right now.
I joined him on the couch and looks at me strangely. I don't say anything and rest my body against his chest. I didn't cuddle him, but only felt guilty.
"What happened?"
"Nothing, I just went on a walk," I lied.
"A very long one," he trails off.
I drag my eyes over his big muscly arms and his muscular chest. He was all muscle yet he was soft and comforting. I had felt more mixed emotions for him than I have ever for Juan.
We had a rocky start, but I couldn't deny the way I felt anymore. Looking at his face, I studied every part of him. He was different from many men I have fucked.
I usually kept them at arms length, but him I let in to quick. I let him so easily. He was at my mothers grave. He was more apart of my life then I wanted. The truth would eventually set me free, but that means what we have will fall apart.
I didn't mind, because in the end I could cherish the memories I had with him. He let me understand parts of me that I refused to.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He ask.
I shake my head and smiled softly. I felt like the more I came to realization with reality everything was breaking down. I was breaking down mentally.
I could sense that I was slowly falling back into my depressive state here and there. I couldn't help it anymore, the idea of killing seemed so much better. Having to confront my past was the worse and there was nobody to torture to burry my sorrows in. I blinked away my tears and Kazimir wrapped his arms around me.
His arms felt like blanket and I felt safe in his arms. He doesn't even know what I did tonight and knowing him, he wouldn't react so easily.
I cried in his arms and hugged him. I was showing the most weakest parts of me lately and I couldn't hide it anymore. There was nothing left for me anymore.
I think it was best that we leave Miami now and goes to Louisiana to see Emilia. Emilia was Juan's mother, so that was another part of my past I was facing.
He pulls me into his lap and just trails his hands up and down my back. I finished crying and his chest was wet with my tears. I tried to wipe his chest off, but there was no point.
"Let's watch shameless and eat food," he suggested.
I nodded my head, because it doesn't sound like such a bad idea. He gets the remote still having me on his lap. He switches to Netflix and the last episode we had recently watched. We was on episode eleven.
I moved to get off his lap, but he didn't allow me to move. He holds my body against his as if I was his blanket.
"I wanna go get the blanket," I mumble.
He lets me go and I get up. I got to the bedroom and get the blanket. I put it on my head and let it drag behind me. Kazimir was at the door talking to one of his men in Russian.
I went to sit back down on the couch and he came to sit back down eventually. He gets comfortable and I rest my head on his shoulder. He fixes the blanket around me and we watch shameless laughing a little.
I had my fun moments with Juan. It was more child-like manor coming out since I never got to really experience a normal teenage years. I couldn't compare them anymore. There was nothing to compare.
I would choose Kazimir in the short amount of time I met him. It wouldn't be anybody else, but him. For him I would pave a path that would have me destroying myself.
I would rip out my hair and shed my skin to show him how much he meant to me. He has comforted me the most in last few weeks in so many ways, He never pushed the topic to much. He was making me insane. He was making feel ways I thought I could never feel again.
Kazimir had eased his way in and he doesn't even know it yet. What was I going to do in the end? There was no way he would allow me to live in the end. In this world you live or die and I hate it, but it is life. I couldn't care anymore if I was to die.
I would be fine knowing it was Kazimir would kill me in the end. The only hand I will be glad to die by, to die for.