I woke up in a cold sweat from the same nightmare I had been having since I came home. Sighing I climbed out of bed immediately pushing the dream as far from my mind as I could, not only for myself, but so Spoke wouldn't have to see the images I lived with. I looked at the time realizing I needed to get ready for work so I quickly jumped on the shower and washed the sweat away. Once I was dressed I made my way downstairs hearing Grams and Sook talking in the kitchen. When I came in my grandma came right over giving me a hug. I tensed, but hugged her back. She's the only one I would allow to touch me since I had been home. No one knew what had happened and I never wanted them to know, but grams managed to get it out of me when she heard me having a nightmare.
I sat with Sook who continued giving me side glances and I could tell she was trying to read my mind. "Spoke, it's rude to poke around in someone's head without permission," I said not taking my eyes from my plate. She cleared he throat and went back to eating her breakfast. She wanted to know what I wouldn't talk about so she could understand why I had changed. We had been close before I enlisted and when I came back I was guarded even from her. Grams watched us closely as we ate in silence and when we were done I took both our plates to the sink. Before I could start washing them Grams placed a hand on mine, "Let me get these Hun, you two are gonna be late." She gave me a loving smile and I nodded, kissing her cheek and following Sookie out the door.
I mentally prepared for another night working the bar, actually hoping for a slower night. I put a smile on my face as we walked in and headed to Sam's office where we kept our things. I left and headed straight to the bar setting up music and prepping for the night. Patrons slowly cam in all members of the town and I began making drinks when needed. Images of the war still happening overseas flashed across the TV and I had to tune out the racist comments coming from the people at the bar. When I turned back I saw Arlene looking flustered as she walked back to where the waitresses get the plates of food from. I poked my head around the corner just in time to hear her tell Lafayette that the guy wanted a burger that didn't have aids. My blood boiled and I stormed back grabbing the plate from Arlene. "Oh fudge," she said as I walked away from her back to the table I knew it came from. I could hear Sam say something as him and Lafayette went to follow.
The men at the table all looked up at me as I got to their table with smirks. "Who ordered the burger with aids?" I asked setting the plate down in front of me. They all stayed quiet still smirking, when the man on my left piped up. "I asked for the cheeseburger deluxe," he started to say something else when I slammed my hand on the table. Everyone went quiet and Jason, my brother, readied himself to protect me. "I don't give a shit if this bar belongs to Sam or not, when I'm here it's my house and that beautiful looking man right there," I started and pointed to Lafayette, who now had a smirk of his own, "Makes the food. You come into my house, you eat the food how he mother fuckin makes it are we clear!" The man got angry and puffed out his chest. "I'm an American I gotta say who makes my food now how about you go back and make me a sandwich sweetheart," he said smirking back at me. I laughed and grabbed the top of his bun. "What makes you think he's the one with aids," I said before licking the bun and shoving it in his face. As I turned to walk away I saw Terry and how his body language change just as the man grabbed my wrist, "How about I show you some manners sweet cheeks?"
In that moment it was like I was back overseas. I spun around and hit him yanking my wrist free. His friends jumped up and I quickly hit them both making them fall back in their seats. Suddenly arms were around me and I was being pulled back. "Calm down soldier, you're alright," Terry whispered so only I would hear. I fought to get free a moment before settling down. Terry turned me away and led me towards the back, knowing I was about to go into a panic attack. Lafayette followed behind giving everyone a look that said go back to your drinks and food. Once I was back in Sam's office Terry let me go and I dropped to the ground moving into a corner by sam's desk. My breathing got ragged and Terry was afraid to touch me again understanding what was happening. Lafayette kneeled down in front of me and stopped waiting for me to signal I was ok. "Just breath Selene, ya gotta breath baby girl," he said gently holding his hand out, but not touching me. Sam and Sookie came bursting in the room and i felt my anxiety get worse, not wanting her to see me like this. "Get her out of here now!" I yelled making everyone jump. Terry and Arlene quickly grabbed her and pulled her out as Sam shut the door.
I didn't notice the tears pouring down my face and couldn't hear what Lafayette was saying. Sam tried moving closer but I saw and flinched back further into the corner. Lafayette told him to stop and leave. "Go help Terry in the kitchen or something I got this," he said and Sam nodded before leaving the room. Lafayette turned back to me and slowly reached out until he could hold my hand. "Focus on me, you have to breath," he said in a calm quiet voice. Slowly he pulled me to him. He carefully and slowly laid me back against his chest and left my arms free. "Breath with me, just like I do, you're safe I got you," he said making me focus on the rise and fall of his chests. As I started to calm he slowly wrapped his arms around me, making me feel safe. He was the first person who had been able to calm me like this, not even grams could touch me without me flinching when I was like this. Once I was calmed down and breathing normal again Lafayette relaxed and looked down at me. "You didn't have to do that," he said quietly. I scoffed and pulled away and shakily standing up. "Yes I did, you're like a brother, hell you might as well be and I will be damned if I let anyone treat you with anything but respect and dignity. I don't care who they are," I said as I started cleaning the tears from my face, "Terry shouldn't have grabbed me like that, but it was probably a good thing he did."
Lafayette came over with his make up bag and started fixing my make up looking at me sadly. "Ya ever gonna tell me what happened?" He asked as he put fresh make up on my face and straightened up my hair. I smiled at him, knowing I would just not today. "One day I will tell all of you, but not yet," I said shakily. He nodded and smiled down at me knowing he would be the first one I told. He was always the first to know even before Sookie which made her mad sometimes, but she got it. "Alright how do I look," I said more than asked hoping no one would be able to tell I had been crying. Lafayette looked at me smiling big and snapping his finger, "Baby girl if I wasn't gay.." I laughed at him as he held the door open for me. He walked in front of me as Sookie came running over with concern all over her face. Lafayette stopped her and shook his head, giving me the chance to walk by and back to the bar. "Leave it Sook, she will talk when she's ready," he said gently and walking back to the kitchen. I noticed the men were now gone and I continued about my work at the bar, ignoring the looks from people. A little while later Sam walked up to me cautiously remembering how I flinched in his office. "You good Sel?" He asked giving me a concerned look, "Maybe you should take the rest of the night off." I shook my head and didn't look up as I continued making drinks. "I'm fine Sam," I said as I put the drinks on the bar in front of the people who had asked for them. When I looked up I saw he still had the same look.
"I mean it," I said putting on a smile before turning back to work. Sam stayed up with me the rest of the night helping when needed. I heard the door open and looked up when I heard whispers starting. Merlotte's just had it's first vampire walk through the door. He looked around his eyes resting on mine for a moment before he headed over to a booth, one I knew to be Sookie's. The Rattree's sat behind him and I could see just by their looks what they were thinking. Sam tensed up when he saw Sookie walk over excitedly and talking to the dark haired vampire. "She'll be fine Sam," I said making him shake his head. I went back to work only half listening to Sookie as she ran back and forth between us and the vampire. After a about an hour she came up looking upset. "What's wrong?" I asked as me and Sam walked over. She gave me a guilty look and I knew she had heard something in someones mind, "Out with it Sook." She rambled out how the Rattree's were planning on draining the vampire, Bill, and selling his blood. When she turned back Bill and the Rattree's were gone and she went running towards the door. Sam went to chase him, but I stopped him. "I got it," I said as I set the bar rag down and went to follow. I chased after Sookie and found her sneaking up to a chain. I stopped her and whispered for her to stay behind me. I could the Rattree's had silver holding the vampire down as they hooked up ivs and drained him. Bill saw me with the chain and tried not to give me away, but I also saw concern in his face. Once I was close enough I threw the chain and watched as it wrapped around the guys throat. He fell back and began choking as the chain was tightened around his throat. The woman pulled the chains loose a little and grabbed a knife moving towards me. "Stupid fuckin move bitch," she said glaring at me. I took a fighting stance and smirked at her, "Maybe but you'll be stupider if you try it." We stood staring at each other for a minute before she finally decided not to try taking me on.
"This ain't over," she said seething before grabbing her husband and dragging him off. Sookie ran to help Bill and I walked closer, watching him closely. "Thank you," he said sliding back against a tree as Sook pulled the silver chain off of him. Sook turned to me and I felt a rush of air before we turned to see Bill gone. "C'mon, Sam's gonna be freaking out," I said pulling Sookie back towards the bar. When we walked back in I watched as Sam started checking over Sookie asking if she was ok. "I'm fine Sam, Sel was the one who took them on and she's fine too by the way," Sookie said slightly irritated that Sam had ignored my existence. We went on the rest of the night which stayed uneventful for my sake. Sookie and I left together and the whole time I felt as if we were being watched. When we got home I saw a light on in Grams kitchen and made my way there with Sookie. She told her about Bill, but thankfully left out what happened with the Rattree's. I eventually made my way up to bed and got snuggled in under my blanket after changing. I hope tonight would be a dreamless sleep, but knowing my luck I doubted it.