After my nightmare last night, Grey held me in his arms as I cried and tried to regain my composure. To say I was terrified would be an understatement.
I trembled in his arms until eventually, I fell asleep again in the comfort and support he provided.
When I woke up in the morning, I made an effort not to wake grey as I got out of bed. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before I changed into something appropriate.
I tip-toed around the room to find his keys. After a few minutes with no luck, I'd begun to give up until I stepped on his sweatpants that were thrown on the floor.
I bent down and shoved my hand into his pockets. I wrapped my fingers around them so they wouldn't make any noise. I held them tightly in my fist as I grabbed my purse off of the bench in front of our bed. I opened and closed the door slowly making sure not to make any noise. It was around 9 am and no one had woken up yet, too tired from the events of the last 24 hours.
I honestly didn't know how I was functioning.
I went out through the front door and ran to the car quickly.
The sun was bright as the birds chirped. I turned the a/c up and pulled out of the driveway. Remembering Grey's pestering about wearing my seatbelt, I clipped it on. As usual, my phone was already connected to the Bluetooth and immediately played my playlist on shuffle.
'Cry Baby' by Melanie Martinez blasted through the speakers as I sped down the road. I rolled down the windows and sang along to the song like I didn't have a care in the world.
Not long after, I pulled up to the front of the warehouse. I grabbed my phone from the cupholder and removed the seatbelt. As I was about to open the door, it was opened for me.
"Good morning cap..." the man stepped back and bowed, "Good morning, regina."
"Good morning, there's no need to bow. What's your name?" I said stepping out of the car.
"Xavi, mia regina."
"Well Xavi, would you like to be my sparring partner?"
"I'd be honored, but does Mr. Valentino know about this?"
I nodded.
Lie.
"After you then." He smiled and stepped aside so I could walk past him.
As I entered the warehouse everyone stopped what they were doing and bowed. I greeted them and Xavi led me into a glass room.
He handed me the black gauze and I wrapped my hands with it. I took off my sneakers and placed my phone inside.
I cracked my neck as I moved to the center of the room.
"Don't go easy on me now," I said as he joined me. "I'm tougher than I look."
I lunged forward and he fell to the ground. "Come on, I'm pretty sure you can do better than that. We have an audience, let's give them a show." I said motioning towards everyone that surrounded the glass room.
I came here to let off some steam and that's exactly what I was going to do. One way or another, even if I had to fight everyone in here until I was satisfied.
I helped him up and we began. After he'd tapped out, I called four more men in as I was far from finished.
After three of them were down, I jumped on another, pushing him onto his stomach. I bent his arm behind his back and pushed it up. He yelled out in pain, and I jumped off of him as I saw one of the others making their way behind me.
I swiped my leg under him, and he fell. He groaned and just as I was about to kick him in his rib cage, my phone started ringing.
I wiped my upper lip as I walked over and picked up my phone. "Sorry to disappoint boys, but I have to go. I'll see you all very soon for round two." I said and I put my phone into the waistband of my leggings. I slipped my feet into my shoes and exited the glass room. They bowed as I walked past them to the door.
I got into the car and drove off. Grey kept calling my phone until I eventually silenced it. On my way home, I stopped at the bakery and picked up some pastries for us.
When I pulled into the garage Grey busted through the garage door, ran over, and opened the car door.
"Where were you? Are you okay? Why didn't you answer me?"
I stepped out of the car and kissed him. "I was at the warehouse. I needed to get rid of the anger that swirled inside me."
"You can't leave without letting me know. At least leave a note next time, angel." I turned around, bent down, and reach into the car. I grabbed the box of pastries and my purse.
"Am I forgiven?" I asked shoving the box into his hands.
"Hm, did you get tres leches?"
"You know I did." I smiled.
"Then yes. But I mean it, please leave a note next time." I nodded and he kissed my cheek as he took my hand. "Did you manage to let off some steam?" he asked as we entered the house.
I nodded, "Yea a little, the guys weren't anything I couldn't handle."
He laughed, "I guess that means we'll have to toughen them up a bit."
Xile sat on the island, a glass of iced coffee in her hand. Grey placed the box of pastries on the counter and opened the cupboard retrieving the plates.
"Morning mija, what are you doing up so early?" I said hugging her. I pulled away when she didn't respond to find her glaring at Grey. He threw his hands in the air, "I'm sorry shortcake, tell your mother not to leave the house without letting anyone know. Blame her, not me."
"You need to stop worrying so much. I told you she was fine." She said.
"I'll never stop worrying about my girls." He said and she smiled when she saw his tongue sticking out at her.
He plated some pastries and handed them to her. I grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and put it to my head as I left them in the kitchen making my way to the room, in dire need of a shower.
I tore off my clothes and stepped into the shower. I let my hair down and pumped shampoo into my hands.
As I washed my hair and stood under the cold water, which I was in no way used to, I decided to try my hardest not to let things I couldn't control cause me unrelenting stress.
When I got out of the shower, I dried myself and put on a black sports bra, shorts, and a long cardigan. I left my hair out deciding to let it air dry.
Loud laughter came from the living room as I walked down the hallway. I entered the living room to see Grey and Xile watching Harley Quinn on the pillow and blanket-covered floor. I smiled as I watched them pick their drinks up in unison.
I was so lucky.
I needed to remember that.
I joined them and we watched tv and ordered junk to the house throughout the day.
Eventually the twins, Mariano and Emilio joined us. Although Mariano left not long after to no doubt bless one of his "American beauties" as he liked to call them with his presence.
We'd only seen Carmen and our moms once today; they told us that they were having a blast over in the guest house and would be going out for a girls' day.
Mom being whom she is pulled me to the side and drowned me in questions making sure I was okay.
I assured her I was doing better; I wouldn't lie to her and say I was 100% but I was trying and that was good enough right now.
Grey and I kissed Xile before she headed upstairs with Emilio. The twins went upstairs not long after leaving me and Grey cuddled on the sofa.
I ran the pads of my fingers up and down his arm as he played in my hair. "Are you ready for bed mama?" I nodded and he lifted me into his arms as he stood.
We fell asleep in each other's arms but not long after I woke up.
It was as if Grey had a buzzer in his brain letting him know whenever I woke because he woke up almost instantly.
He made us both a cup of herbal tea and we sat up in bed crisscrossed as we drank it together.
He took the mug from me and placed them on the nightstand before he ordered me to lay back. He went over to the vanity and came back with a bottle of lotion.
He kneeled in between my legs and squeezed the lotion onto my legs. He started massaging my body and laid soft kisses over me. It wasn't long until I fell asleep content with the complete and utter love with every touch.
The next morning, I decided to return to work even though I knew deep down I wasn't feeling up to it. I left the twin's home as they refused to join me, whereas Grey was the opposite and wouldn't let me leave without him.
He stayed with me the whole day. Whether I was in a long meeting, in the bathroom, or just conversing with my employees. He was there for me 24/7. He forced me to eat and drink water and I was grateful for it.
During the day when tears started rolling down my face, he held me as he always did and calmed me down.
Everyone had been long gone when I decided to leave. We went to dairy queen and then he pulled into the same library we'd visited on our first date.
And just like on our first date, we played the same game. This time I made sure to use my time wisely and not pick up any books without looking at them.
The twins and Emilio were asleep on the couch when we got home. We managed to wake up Emilio and he took Xile to bed, however, we gave up after about 5 minutes of trying to wake up the twins.
I wrapped them in blankets and kissed them on their cheeks before Grey and I returned to our room.
We had a long hot bath together before we sat in bed and watched My Little Pony.
"Do you want a baby?" I asked when I finally mustered the courage.
"Before you, having kids never crossed my mind but since meeting you and falling in love with you, it is something I've come to want. Although it's not a dealbreaker for me I'd love to give you kids. To watch a symbol of our love grow and take all of the best qualities of you." he admitted, "Either way, as long as I have you and Xile, I'll be the happiest man in the world. Trust me when I say you, Anaís Solana, are all I need."
"I'm sorry," I whispered in his chest.
"Shh, don't do that."
"I just feel so worthless," I sniffled. And it was true. I did feel worthless, in every way possible.
I was beginning to hate myself more and more as the days passed and I didn't know how to stop it.
Just when I thought I'd put my past behind me, it was here to terrorize me again. Just when I was the happiest, it crept up on me, a reminder that I'd never be truly free from the ghosts that haunted me.
Heat filled my body as a stabbing pain appeared in my abdomen area. I held my stomach and squinted my eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"I think I just got my period, my tummy hurts," I said.
"Stay here, I'll get the heating pad." He said as he got off the bed and went into the bathroom. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain as I tried to steady my breathing.
I'd noticed a little spotting earlier and put on a pad just in case. I wasn't supposed to get my period for another two weeks. My periods had never been irregular, but I guess mother nature had different plans.
I yelled as an excruciating pain shot through my body. A gush of warm fluid ran down my legs and I panicked. Grey ran over with towels and the heating pad.
Grey turned on the lamp as I kicked away the covers and tried to sit up. My back arched and i squeezed my eyes shut as another shock of pain moved through me.
It felt like someone had sharpened my bones and was constantly stabbing me with them.
I rested my head against the headboard and that's when I saw Grey's face. Complete terror covered his expression as he threw the things down on the bed.
I looked down to see a huge pool of blood under me and down the length of my legs. Grey grabbed his keys before he ran to my side of the bed and immediately lifted me into his arms, and ran out of the house.
I cried and held my stomach as I tried my best not to pass out from the pain.
He placed me in the passenger seat and strapped me in.
"Grey, I-"
"I know, baby, you're going to be okay." He said as he placed his hand on the back of my seat and reversed out.
As he sped down the road constantly checking if I was okay, I found it hard to stay awake.
The pain was too much.
I was on the verge of passing out and I didn't know if it was because of the blood loss or the pain.
I rested my head on my shoulder and closed my eyes. "Hey, hey, I need you to stay awake for me baby. Can you do that for me?" he pleaded, and I nodded my head slowly.
I heard Emilio's voice on the speakers as Grey informed him of what was going on.
What in heaven was going on?
He yelled at me to keep my eyes open, and I genuinely tried my best to. I screamed and grabbed onto the door as another wave of pain ran up my spine. I was sweating and bleeding uncontrollably.
I closed my eyes not being able to take it any longer. I wanted it to end. No, I needed it to.
The car stopped and before I knew it Grey had me in his arms as he ran into the hospital yelling.
Bright lights shined in my eyes as the nurses took me from him and laid me on a hospital bed.
"I'm right here baby, I'm right here." He said as he took my hand.
I was so dizzy; that I could only barely make out what was happening.
The last thing I saw was Grey as the operating room doors closed.
When I heard her yell, I instantly knew something was wrong. It wasn't until I entered the room and switched on the lamp did I realize how wrong it was. I froze as I saw the blood decorating the sheets.
Something clicked in my mind and all I knew was that I needed to get her to a hospital. The blood coating her legs and soaking the mattress wasn't normal.
I threw the heating pad and towel on the bed, grabbed my keys off of the nightstand, and ran over to her side of the bed.
She cried out in pain as I lifted her into my arms.
I ran out of the house and placed her in the car.
The drive to the hospital was haunting. There was so much blood. I was freaking out as I sped down the road trying to keep her awake.
I gripped onto the steering and floored the gas pedal yelling for her to keep her eyes open. She screamed in pain and held her stomach, her face drenched in tears.
I tried my best to comfort her from the driver's seat, but I knew it would never be enough.
I pressed Emilio's name on the car's dashboard screen and slammed my hand on the steering when he let it ring more than twice. I prayed to God he would answer as he was the only one I could count on to hear the phone ringing in his sleep.
He answered on the next ring, "Yes?" he said still consumed by sleep.
"I'm taking Anaís to the hospital," I said, my hands trembling as I looked over at her.
"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.
"There's just so much blood," I said my voice breaking as I looked at her.
"I'm on my way." He said before cutting the call.
I pulled into the hospital and parked in front of the automatic doors. I didn't bother turning off the car as I jumped out and ran over to the passenger side.
Her eyes were closed as I lifted her in my arms, and I panicked. I ran into the hospital at lightning speed. "I need help," I yelled, "God please, someone help her" I yelled at the staff.
About three nurses rushed out with a bed. Tears welled in my eyes as I tried to stay strong for her. They took her from my arms and placed her on the bed.
I took her hand in mine and ran with them as they pushed the bed through the hallway.
I was trying my best to stay strong but when they closed the operation room doors and I saw the light leave her eyes completely, I lost it.
I couldn't breathe as I stumbled back. One of the nurses came up to me and tried to get me to calm down but I couldn't
I needed her to be okay, I needed her to.
I didn't even know what the hell was going on. This was all so random. She was fine the whole day.
It was only when the security guards got me to sit down and handed me my car keys that I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes, just grey sweatpants. I was covered in blood but none of that mattered.
I rested my elbows on my thighs and dropped my head into my hands. Not long after Xile, Emilio and the twins showed up. Emilio unzipped his jacket and handed it to me.
They bombarded me with questions I couldn't answer, and I felt useless.
I paced the waiting room for what felt like years as I awaited news about the love of my life.
I hated being useless in this situation.
I hated not knowing what was happening to her.
I hated everything about everything right now.
They tried to calm me down but nothing, and I mean nothing would calm me down until I knew that she was okay.
So many thoughts and scenarios flew through my mind it was beginning to give me a headache.
"Mr. Valentino?" the doctor asked drawing me from my thoughts.
"My wife, is she okay?" I said frantically as I stepped closer to him.
"I'm sorry sir, your wife suffered a miscarriage. She should be awake in the next thirty minutes or so, you can see her now."
"Miscarriage?" I asked confused, "Are you sure? She had her tubes burnt a long time ago."
"I'm sure, she was about 9 weeks pregnant."
"No, you need to check again. That's not possible."
"Her tubes were only tied. It's rare but children can be conceived when they've only been tied. They are very high-risk pregnancies, which resulted in the loss of your baby. I'm sorry."
"Where is she?" I asked still not wrapping my head around the situation. I just needed to see her.
"Follow me, I'll take you to her."