You called Jooheon for the fourth time that day and for the fourth time that day Jooheon didnt pick up the phone.
"Pause," said Hyungwon. "Who said that you can read next?"
"Me," Jooheon defended himself. "I said that I could read next so I did."
At that point, you knew that your dinner plans are bound to be cancelled or yet forgotten. It's November and its comeback season meaning all the idols are bound to be holed up in their companies trying to push out one last hour of rehearsal or writing session before music releases and promotions. This also means that Jooheon practically lives inside his studio writing music, producing his next big hit, or practicing his award-winning aegyo – cause let's face it, the other members could not pull of a proper aegyo to save anyone's life; the only other one who could do it has left the team.
Jooheon paused his reading, biting his lip. He peaked through the top of his paper and tried to look at Wonho and then the rest of the team trying to get a reaction of what has just been read.
He tried to play it cool by wiping the pooling sweat on his hands on his pants. And then squished his nose.
No one reacted. He can't sense the feeling of the people in the room.
From the couch, Shownu looked up from picking the callous on his hands, caught Jooheon's line of sight, and gave him the most reassuring smile.
Jooheon licked his lips and smiled back.
Shownu nodded and Jooheon continued.
You went out of your workplace and went to your favorite spot: that dumpling spot by the corner of his company – it was your favorite because it was the only one that could cook pork dumplings just right, well according to you and Jooheon. You have eaten there so many times that you both have gotten invited to the owner's home and you were taught how to cook the same dumplings. You both attempted to cook it but you preferred how that ahjumma cooked it. It was more fulfilling.
As you stepped on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, you already see the owner running out of the store to greet you. Her grandchildren - who was always there with her - leaned on the store front windows and also gave you a wave.
The friendly old lady opened the door and invited you in. She hugged you then squished your cheeks. She looked behind you then asked where your boyfriend was. You pursed your lips into a forced smile and told her that he cant come today but you will need to deliver the dumplings to him so that you can eat together.
She made you sit at the corner table and her grandchildren soon joined you.
"Eonni", the young girl sat right in front of you closely followed by her brother that wiggled into the seat that was a bit too high for the both of them. "Is Jooheon-samchon really a singer? I think I saw him on tv last night."
You grabbed a few glasses over the counter and a bottle of water pouring each kid a cup as if you three were in a bar. "Yes, he is. And today, he is working that's why he is not with me". You smiled as you gave each kid a glass. Both of them held tightly to the cup and drank the water as if it was the strongest liquor.
You bowed your head and smiled looking at these two cuties acting like grown people. "Why do you drink like that? Who taught you how to drink like that?" you asked them.
"Uncle Jooheon comes by sometimes," the girl reached over the water bottle. "Sometimes he comes with his friends, sometimes he comes alone". She poured water into her cup and her brother. "If he comes alone, we are his drinking buddies while grandma gives us unlimited dumplings."
You imagined these cuties drinking with Jooheon and acting like they are drunk. "He says the best stories like when he farted in front of Uncle Hyunwoo." said the boy.
"He is very strong," said the girl. "One day, he carried us by holding our feet."
"Ok!" their grandma came out the kitchen with two full bags of dumplings – a lot more than you ordered. "Here is your order and the rest is our gift for Jooheon. I havent seen him come here in a long time that means that he is not leaving tthe studio." She placed the bags on the table, took your hand and made sure that you had the bags tightly in your hands. "Make sure that he eats."
You paid them, hugged the kids, and gave them one last pat on the head before heading out the door.
From the dumpling store to the studio it wasnt far of a walk but due to numerous packages in hand, the plastic handles of the bags started to dig into your skin and hurt.
You sat by one of the benches infront of the stores and blew on your hand hoping to numb the pain.
"Yin!" a voice called out for you.
Jooheon halted to a stop, out of breath from running. "I was trying to catch up to you," he said as leaned on the back rest of the bench to catch his breath. "The kids told me that you were here." He kept his head down trying to catch all the air that he can get.
You look at him quizzically. "At the bench?"
He looked at you after a few deep breaths and shook his head. He stood up straight, placed his hands on his hips, drew one big breath and he said: "No, you were here in this direction."
You brought a fist to the cover your mouth as you chuckled. "Yeah! I was on my way to the studio. I brought you distraction". You flourished your hands over the bags that was sitting uninvitingly on the bench.
"Is that what I think he is?" Jooheon gave a naughty smile and wiggled his eyebrows. His dimples are on full display.
"Yes, sir!" you mirrored his cheeky grin and wiggling eyebrows. "It is what you think it is!"
He smiled even bigger. His dimples went even deeper and his eyes turned to slits before making them bigger again. You were drawing your head back preparing yourself just in case he pulls an aegyo in public.
He didnt.
You sighed in relief.
He raised a fist in the air and shouted at the top of his lungs: "Let's get distracted"! His voice bounced of the buildings and unnecessarily echoed everywhere. Someone somewhere shouted back and told him to shut up.
Both of you just grimaced at the reply.
He circled round the bench and finally greeted you with a hug. You hugged him back giving his back a small rub ending in tiny pats.
He kissed you on the forehead before letting go. He grabbed the bags sitting idly by and swung one of them over his shoulder. "Shall we?" he looked over at you and nudged his head to the studio's direction.
You responded with a nod, followed by shaking your head. Smiling, you made him lead the way.
After half-walking and half-skipping for 10 minutes, you arrived at the studio.
You were a bit surprised that the studio does not stink or at least you were lucky enough that you got there before it did. Judging by the packages that piled up outside the door, a few more days and the smell would be close to unbearable for you. But then again, you barely go to the studio when Jooheon and his team are busy.
You saw the piles of paper with dozens of scribbles on his desk, some were taped over the numerous monitors, some were taped on the ears of the Honeygom that sat by him, and some were taped over the nobs on the mixers. There was also an empty box of Chinese behind one of the monitors with the chopsticks sticking out. There weren't any clothes hanging around, which is a good sign - you think.
"I'll clean up," Jooheon said as he placed the packages on the coffee table and started fiddling with things that were scattered everywhere. "Take a seat."
"Jooheon," you said as you turned around and making him sit. "I think you need to sit more than I do". Seeing that he wasnt sitting you told him that he can just stand there and not move but you will do the moving. He nodded his head and watched as you expertly moved around the place.
You cleared the coffee table of anything unrelated to eating or anything related to writing - you know that if its within his reach, he would start working again. You placed all his caps that were strewn around on a neat pile on top of the glass container holding his shoes.
You found his cats in their cages having a nice peaceful nap on top of what looks like his sock; you didnt disturb them anymore.
You looked at the working table and decided not to touch it at all. You just grabbed the pens and pencils scattered all over and placed them on the empty cup by the corner.
Jooheon finally sat down and smiled at you. You came close to him, held his face and kissed his forehead and then his cheeks. "Take a break. I got it from here," you said. He closed his eyes and a tear fell from his tired eyes.
You wiped them off.
The kitchenette wasnt much of a mess either. It actually smelled of cleaning agents, that was the only spot in the studio that was most kept clean. There were only some bits of plastic that missed the garbage bin, but otherwise it was pristine. You knew what their priorities were.
You grabbed a few cups and made cups of coffee. Next you microwaved 6 cups of rice. 3 for him and the other for you. Putting them all on a tray your brought it out to the coffee table.
Jooheon opened his eyes as soon as he heard the wooden tray hit the glass table. He scratched his eyes before helping you out; he opened all the packages and set them on the table. Some of the packages were designated to have a seat on the couch because there was no more space.
You both said a little prayer before quietly digging in to the food that you brought.
"Do you want some music," you asked him with cheeks full of dumplings.
"Up to you," he replied as he inhaled another dumpling.
"Leave some for me, Jooeheon". You got up to put some music on. You played one of those YouTube mixes that was curated for something. "I want dumplings too."
He nodded through the steam of dumplings. "You have no idea how happy I am that you are here".
"You're just happy cause I brought dumplings." You adjusted the volume on the speaker.
Jooheon took a bowl of rice and started putting dumplings on it. "Yin!" He got the chopsticks and prepped a bite for you. "Come! Start eating. The music can wait."
You sat opposite Jooheon, reached for the bowl that he prepared and inhaled the dumplings just like he did. He looked at you in amazement. You weren't the mandu couple for nothing.
"What?" You looked at him looking at you. You slurped that juicy dumpling followed by a smile that made your eye squint.
"Nothing," he smiled back. "I sometimes wonder how I got lucky, you know?"
You chuckled covering your mouth trying not to spill anything out.
"What?" he said defensively.
"That was corny, Honey. But its sweet, so I will take it." you wiped your mouth. "I think you have been hanging out with Shownu too much."
He threw his head back in laughter.
"I'm serious! His jokes have gone worse since he started dating her."
"They are dad jokes apparently. He said he wants to be ready."
"As if he isnt ready yet". You placed another dumpling on his plate and told him to start eating again. "Babe, eat."
"I love you." he said in a whisper.
You stopped midway as you brought a dumpling to your mouth and bit the chopsticks.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Show me what you are working on, Joo." You stood up and went to the monitors. Jooheon closely followed behind and placed the headphones on you.
He turned the monitors on and looked for the most recent piece that he has been working on. You looked at his very skilful hands that were working their magic. It was red and - if you werent mistaken - they were a tad bit shaky. But his eyes were glistening as he quickly got absorbed with what he was doing.
You put your hand over his shoulders, rubbed your thumb on his shoulder blade. Then you brought your hand to the top of his head and pushed aside the hair that was falling to his eyes. You combed through his hair with your hands and rested it finally on his nape. Slowly, you moved your hand along the length of his shoulders before resting them right in the middle.
Slowly, you moved closer and leaned into him. Not so much, but just enough that he can feel your weight on him. You placed your chin on the crown of his head.
It's either he was too absorbed with what he was doing that he didnt notice or he is simply just letting you be.
You stayed there for a while looking at the music sheet in front of you while the music started filling the head phones.
You brought both arms around his shoulder.
He held on to your hands that crossed across his chest and interlaced his fingers with yours.
You rested your cheek on top of his head and swayed a little.
Tilting your head just a little, you brought your lips just close enough to his temples: "I love you, too."
Then you quickly pulled your hands from his, uncrossed your arms from him, took the headphones off and scrambled to the recording booth locking yourself inside.
You faced the wall where he couldnt see you and covered your face. You felt all your blood come to your face.
"Yin," Jooheons voice came through the speakers inside the studio. "Babe, I can hear you breathing too loud. Please dont hyperventilate. You locked me out aand I cant come to you."
You turned around and went to one of the microphones. "You can hear me?" You looked at him with pure amazement.
Jooheon gave a thumbs up pretty much like the ones that he gives his members when they hit the right emotion or the right note.
"Everything?"
He nodded this time.
You went to the nearest microphone and put the headset that hung limply on the music stand. You adjust the height of the microphone so that the headpiece falls directly on your mouth.
You started mouthing something, pretending to be singing something but no actual sound came out of your mouth. You began to dance to the music that was playing in your head. Tilting your head to the side of the microphone, you checked if Jooheon was looking at you.
Yes, he was. And he was completely weirded out by what you were doing. But instead of covering his face or leaving, he leaned forward putting his elbow on the table and cupping his chin on his palm.
You twirled on the microphone cord coil and smiled back at him. Squinting your eyes and baring your teeth, you know that you have finally annoyed him. And you do love teasing him, so you kept on miming and singing.
He shook his head and stood up. He pressed a button that allowed him to project his voice inside the booth and excused himself to the kitchenette.
Alone on your own agency, you took a deep breath and...
"I love you too, Lee Jooheon". You bit your lip and kept your head down. You know that the microphone was not really off and that he could hear everything with alarming clarity.
Calmly, he walked out the kitchen stirring the teaspoon sticking out his cup of coffee. Sat on his chair, spun around to face you. After sipping some coffee, his mouth pursed into a line and flashed a dimple.
"I'm sorry, Yin. Did you say something?" The red light on the microphone went out as he lifted his finger from the button.
"I said 'I love you', dumpling man."
You can't hear him but you can see how he jumped from his chair and spun around the room with his hands in hair almost knocking over the food on the table. His claps were so thunderous you can feel the vibrations through the glass. You can not help but laugh out loud. You covered your face and laughed into your palms.
Jooheon came close to the microphone once again and pressed the button. "Is it ok if I come in the studio, Ms. Yin?"
You nodded through the window.
He got up and pushed his chair back. He sleeked his hair back and took a rather deep breath.
You went closer to the door just as he too got closer and unlocked it.
You swallowed real hard as you saw that door knob turn ever so slowly. You held your cheeks in your hands and bit your lip.
Jooheon slowly pushed the door. Firstly, he took a peek through the tiny crack that he has made trying to have a look at where you were. You were doing the same: mimicking his peeping face trying to smile through the cracks of your hands that were shielding your embarrassed face.
He fully pushed the door open. You closed all the gaps on your hands, shut your eyes, and smiled through your palm.
Jooheon grabbed you by the wrists and tried to take your hands away from your face. You held steadfast. He knew better than to try to pry your hands off, but he still tried to look through the cracks of your fingers if he can sneak in a dimpled smile.
You allowed a sliver of crack and smiled back at him.
He was content with that.
He wrapped his arms around you until you are fully enveloped. Your face is right on his chest. Your body filled every empty space of his.
You unstick your face from your palms and looked for a way to wiggle your arms into freedom from his squeezing embrace. The more you moved, the more Jooheon squeezed.
You were laughing when you successfully let your arms free.
Wrapping you arms around Jooheon, you gave him a squeeze back.
Still in the tight embrace, you looked up at him resting your chin on the dip of chest.
He looked down at you before resting his cheek on yours. From the plumpiness of his cheekbones, you know that he still hasnt stopped smiling since he stood up from his chair.
You started rubbing your thumb on the small of his back. "Honey, are you ok?"
"I thought you weren't gonna say it back," Jooheon said through your hair. He still hasnt moved from the embrace. You were slightly focused on his weight being on you. "But I am happy that you did."
He pulled back ever so slightly. Now, the tips of your noses are touching. You went on the tip of your toes and gave the tip of his nose a kiss.
You watched him go scarlet.
"Yin, I just wanted to let you know that I love you." His dimples went a lot deeper. "I actually love you more than dumplings."
He went in and gave your smiling lips an innocent kiss. He pulled away slowly, unsure if he really wanted to separate from you.
Then you went in and kissed him back before he can go any further.
He released you from the hug. He needed his hands to grab your face closer and shower you with more kisses. He left you no chances to kiss him back nor to leave.
"How. Can. You. Think. I. Don't. Love . You. Back. Dumpling?"
He stopped kissing you and squeezed your cheeks with both his hands until your lips pushed out.
"I always loved you, Honey." You pushed those words out your poofed lips. "I just did not know how to say it. I thought the dumplings would help."
He let you go after this. "I love you, Lee Jooheon. You got me. I just want to let you know that." You took his hands in yours, tiptoed, and kissed him again. "The dumplings are getting cold now."
"Baksu!"