- Year 2014 of December 28th -
(T.V News | Playing on the cars radio)
| Headlines | Motorcycle rider dead, six hurt in Skyway accident.
" Due to heavy rains today, a motorcycle rider loses its control, crashing on a truck which caused heavy traffic. At least seven victims were rushed to the hospital but the motorcycle rider was pronounced dead on arrival."
...
I woke up na kinakabahan mula sa panaginip ko as it seems insanely real. May kulay ang paligid and is also exactly accurate to today's date.
[ 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚢]
Nahalata ni kuya ang nervousness and ang pagiging uneasy sa mga galaw ko.
"Let me guess, you had a bad dream again."
Yup, he knows me well.
"Don't worry, kuya is here for you. As long as you're with me, nothing bad will happen. Ok?" Pag comfort pa niya sa akin.
"Mmm.. ok kuya, I know naman na you always got my back." I answered him with a smile while he smiled at me back.
I felt more calmed and not long after, nadistract na din ako ng excitement ko at nakalimutan ang particular dream na iyon as we are on our way to celebrate mom and dad's anniversary together, I could say that it would be our family quality time.
Us having dinner as a whole, hmm how should I put this.. it is like a limited opportunity with limited time offer only HAHAHA.
*phone chimes*
"Yes, hello mom. Yeah, we'll arrive there soon po. See you." Sagot ni kuya over the phone.
"𝙎𝙞𝙜𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙖𝙮𝙤 𝙝𝙖, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙖 𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙤". Sagot naman ni mom.
" 𝙃𝙖𝙮𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙣𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙪𝙮𝙖. 𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙠𝙤". Comment ko pa after ibaba ni kuya ang phone call. Then he nodded.
"𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 really 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙖 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙙'𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙮". I added.
Sunod-sunod ang daldal ko kay kuya pero hindi siya nagagalit or naiinis manlang sa akin.
" 𝙃𝙢𝙢 𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙖 𝙣𝙜𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙨𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙢𝙤 𝙚𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 ". Sabay ngiti na tugon ni kuya with matching pat sa head ko.
" 𝙆𝙪𝙮𝙖 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 no doubt 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, ah no, It should be in the whole universe rather". Random compliment ko pa sa kaniya.
"𝙊𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙠𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙣𝙖𝙜-𝙞𝙞𝙨𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙠𝙖𝙮𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙖 𝙠𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚". Pang-asar pa niya.
I always feel safe talaga when I'm with my brother. Once in a while na lang kami magbonding ng ganito since he's often busy as he is the heir of our company and he'll be needing to take over it very soon.
Everything seems perfect na para bang there's definitely nothing to worry about.
When suddenly..
*boom*
" Kuya..ku-- (voice started to fade)
Pero sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari, lahat ng saya ay napalitan ng lungkot.
(T.V news)
" 𝘈𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 20'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 9 𝘺𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥 are 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 , 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥. H𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵. According to witnesses, the driver of the car avoided a mother and a child who's crossing the street on that rainy day but as a result, the driver had the accident due to the slippery road. They are identified as the son and daughter of the owners of 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘚 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱."
- The next day -
* ECG beeping *
Binuksan ko ng paunti-unti ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa paligid.
" 𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙣𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙡𝙖. 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡? Okay 𝙣𝙖 𝙗𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙙𝙖𝙢 𝙢𝙤? " Tanong ni tita.
" 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 bit 𝙤𝙠 𝙣𝙖 𝙥𝙤." 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙢 𝙄?"
"𝙒𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙡." sagot ni tita.
" How about kuya po, where is he? I want to go see him and hug him na po.
Napatigil ng sandali si tita sa mga sumunod na tanong.
Sunod sunod akong nangulit pero iisa lang ang sinabi ni tita sa akin.
" 𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧. "
Sinunod ko na lang muna ang sinabi ni tita at nag rest for a while pero iba ang pakiramdam ko, kita din sa eyes ni tita na parang may tutulong luha.
Iba ang pakiramdam ko dito, pansin din sa kinikilos ni tita na there's something that is going on, I just can't put myself onto knowing it unless sabihin na niya sa akin.
Naging matamlay rin ang boses niya, she also became emotional.
Hinintay ko na lang ang sasabihin niya hanggang sa siya na mismo ang lumapit at humawak sa kamay ko. She thought I was sleeping but I'm actually not. Then dad called.
" Hello, saang hospital sila sinugod? Are they both okay? Can I talk to them?." Dad said over the phone.
" Kohana is resting as of this moment, she had minor injuries from the accident so the doctors said that she had to stay here at the hospital for awhile." Tita replied.
" And for Fuji, I'm sorry to say that he didn't make it. When he arrived here, he's barely breathing." Tita added with her stuttering voice.
"𝙏𝙞𝙩𝙖 , 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙟𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙤." bigla kong bangon na ikinabigla ni tita.
Hindi agad ako naniwala sa sinabi ni tita , baka kasi they are just pulling a prank pero it's not a time naman to do jokes.
Mom and Dad was in shock just like me, they were headed to the restaurant coming from a business trip to celebrate their anniversary with us.
The call has not yet ended when we heard a loud honk, the call was cut. Tita and I were in worry because what if something bad happened to them also.
I can't even handle the news that I heard about my brother, what more if the same thing happened to them. I'd be out of it.
Nagpumilit nanaman akong makita si kuya kaya kinuha ni tita ang wheelchair para iupo ako dahil may minor fracture ako from the accident just like tita mentioned. Dinala ako ni tita sa morgue at pumasok kami sa loob.
And there, the truth hit me hard when I saw it with my own two eyes.
I should have been the one laying there instead of him, I couldn't help but to blame myself all over again.
Paunti-unti kong nilapitan ang bangkay niya, I couldn't believe that my bad dream gave me a warning na mangyayari ang kinakatakutan ko.
Ibinalita sa akin ng mga pulis ang mga sinabi ng witness.
Nalaman ko na ginawa ni kuya ang lahat to save and protect me so I'm the one who is alive right now. Hindi ko magawang I let go ang mata ko sa pagtitig sa kaniya. Na halos maubos na din ang mga luha na tumutulo.
"𝙆𝙪𝙮𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙣𝙖 𝙤𝙝 𝙙𝙞𝙗𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙥𝙖 𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙣𝙞𝙡𝙖, 𝙨𝙤𝙗𝙧𝙖 𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙣𝙖. "
"𝙆𝙪𝙮𝙖 𝙙𝙞𝙗𝙖 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙣𝙖 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚."
" Sino na lang ang magmamanage ng company, kuya ikaw ang heir and I wouldn't be able to handle it."
Patuloy na pag-kausap ko pa sa cold corpse niya hoping na there will be a miracle at gumising siya.
Please enough with this, maybe this is just some bad dream a... nightmare.
Patuloy kong kinukumbinsi ang sarili ko na hindi totoo ang nakikita ko.
After kong lapitan si kuya, another miserable news had happened. Mom and Dad was also pronounced as dead while they were in a hurry of going to the hospital that we are in.
I can't even explain the pain that I'm in right this moment. It's as if the wound is still fresh and didn't even get the chance to at least start healing when another wound strikes you. A wound within a wound.
Nanatili akong nakatulala hanggang sa araw ng libing nila.
For not so long after their death, I knew that I was left all alone by myself.
My relatives didn't have the time to at least visit me kasi may personal life din naman sila.
Si tita naman she had to take care of lolo and fix things sa company.
Nagpadala na lang sila ng tauhan to accompany me.
Kahit saan ako tumingin, sa bawat sulok ng mansion ay lagi kong iniimagine na nandoon pa din sila, kasama ko.
...
Sa unang pagkakataon, I wished na sana they were a little bit meaner to me para hindi ko ito dinadamdam nang sobra. That was supposed to be a good, nearly perfect, quality time together with my family but now where are they. They all left me like this instead of having a happy celebration.
Today I'm here again sa grave nila para bumisita so that I won't feel the loneliness.
Madalas pa din na sumagi sa isip ko ang gabing iyon.
Time heals huh..
But even time passes by, I still didn't move on. I'm still stuck within that nightmare.
The pain never ends there. Actually it'll never end unless I also die but of course hindi ko naman dapat sayangin ang sacrifices na ginawa nila.
I will live and bear this kind of life.
I mean I had to. I had to as there's just no other options.