;)))))
^ Y'all know what this means.
-
Stirring a little, a breathy whine comes out of my mouth as I shut my eyes harder. Evidently, I'm not planning to wake up yet but it's too bright. Was the sun too high up in the sky?
WAIT.
SUN?!
WASN'T I IN THE CARRIAGE WITH JUNGKOOK?! WE ARRIVED BACK IN HANYANG?! WHEN?!
HE DIDN'T WAKE ME UP?! I FELL ASLEEP DURING THE RIDE BACK AND HE DIDN'T EVEN WAKE ME UP?! HE BROUGHT ME TO OUR CHAMBER?! HOW?! DID HE CARRY ME?!
OR PULL ME WITH MY BODY MOPPING THE FLOOR?!
I opened my eyes, quickly sitting down as I adjust to my surroundings. What time is it? Was it past early morning? The chamber's too light up. I think it's almost noon. That's only my guess.
Unconsciously, my eyes traveled down my body, I'm still wearing the same hanbok I wore yesterday. It ain't changed. Even my hair--only the accessories was gone.
Did he take them off himself? Or asked Jiyoon or anybody else for help? Does he even know how to do that?
Shaking my head, I erased these hooey thoughts, standing up from the bed to begin my everyday routine.
How long was I out? I didn't even feel when the carriage stopped when we arrived at the palace. I slept soundly.
It was too homely to sleep on Jungkook's shoulder, he didn't mind at all, he initiated it when he notices my head moving in different directions as I'm dozing off. He put my head on his shoulder.
My heart began thumping thinking of that. I wasn't able to digest what he just did last night as I was too consumed with drowsiness and basically, just went with the flow and went asleep.
Oh gosh... this has been beating crazily whenever I thought of him. What's with him that makes my heart like this? And my stomach's going crazy as well, my insides were twisting when my heart's beating like a madman to the point it's almost possible to deform my digestive system.
"You're awake." looking up front, I saw him enter our chamber, with a few servants behind him, carrying big trays of foods whose aroma's reached my nostrils.
"You slept too long,"
"How many hours did I?"
"More than eight hours, it's actually lunchtime, I didn't want to disturb and wake you up earlier as you looked like you had just gotten a longer sleep than the last couple of days," he explains.
Well, I did not really get a lot of sleep the previous days. Lots of reports came to me from my Kingdom that requires immediate attention and solution. A few fights had also occurred on the market, one was alarming that they had to put the man in the cell to refrain him from doing any more violent actions towards those he had hurt physically.
It's not that I can't visit my own Kingdom, I do not like to see my family or hear from them in the meantime, if I go there, the news of my return will quickly escalate and reach those ears, my parents included.
"Come," he gestures to me as he walks to the table first. I wore my shoes and followed him with my stomach grumbling in hunger.
"You had a good sleep?" he asks as we sat down in unison. "More than that."
"Good, 'cause if you didn't, I hate to tell you, I have to add a few more tasks on your duties today."
I looked at him, confused. "You're too heavy to even carry,"
He did carry me--
Say what?
"Too heavy?! Excuse me, my body's in good shape and I don't weigh like yours!" I glared at him.
Grazing his tongue to wet his lower lip, the side of his lips rose to a smirk as he chuckled, shaking his head at the same time. "Girls will be girls," he mutters.
"I was just kidding. You know how to manage time well, all your duties are up to you, unless you ask me to add a few." he cocks his brow.
"No, thank you, your "jokes" are enough treat for me."
"That's kind of harsh but accepted."
"You know, sometimes, I get thoughts that you bumped your head on the thickest wall in the palace as to why you changed from a serious and have no time for games, jokes, nonsense but funny talks to an unhumurous jokester," I told him.
"That's out of the line, and that's an insulting way to describe me but I'll allow it, only for one time."
"How about your friends then?"
"That's different. I've known them a long time and we've only been close for what? A couple of weeks? Pfft." he snorts.
"You can't just say those were just a couple of weeks, a lot of things happened in the same couple of weeks you're mentioning, Your Majesty."
"Quite right, kind of wanted to insult you as much as I can this day," he smirks up again, I gasped in the most dramatic way ever.
"You know what, do what you want, you just be prepared if I get fed up and start beating you up with your own sword."
"I like a good fight, my Queen." he winks, I rolled my eyes in annoyance, returning to eat.
But deep inside, there's this smile I'm refraining to form on my lips and display it. This is just one of our normal bickerings since we get closer and my heart's acting up. It never acted this way during the early times we have been doing this, just now.
Should I seek medical attention? What would the Physician tell me though? He'll see this as normal. He'll probably say I'm just stressed out from doing loads of work on top of another load of work.
I can totally help myself out.
Weren't I?
Later that day, we got a letter, that came from the same official who Jungkook had sent our marriage documents to see and check if we are applicable to apply for divorce. Well, it was Jungkook who applied for one as I can't. Women in Goguryeo can never apply for divorce unless their husbands apply for one.
Only a divorce would be allowed if one of the conditions of Chilgeojiak was not obeyed. Chilgeojiak means Seven Divorce Conditions.
This is the moral code for Korean wives, they are expected to observe their actions and do anything they can to avoid making it seem they are defying these conditions.
The husband can only ask for divorce if the wife; is showing disobedience to her in-laws, inability to bear a son, adultery, jealousy, has a hereditary disease, being talkative, and theft.
Possibly, Jungkook has chosen the sixth option, first and foremost, I have been respectful to his family, I have no any man behind, there's also no way I'll be jealous of him, as I'm contented with what I have, most especially if he's talking with other girls.
What's there to be jealous of, to be honest?
My family has no history of having any terminal diseases that have no cure, I didn't also steal anything from him... but stealing a servant's Eunjangdo can be a yes for this but he didn't know. Or maybe he does.
And most importantly, he can't just say I can't bear a son! Nor a daughter! Heck! We were too eluded from each other the first night we slept on the same bed! We didn't even try doing the intercourse as first and last, I don't want to do it with him just to be impregnated to see and make sure I can bear a son.
So yeah. Those were the reasons I'm certain that crossed his mind before he handed the documents over. There is literally no way he'd pick the other six options other than the one thing he can pick and surely know it suits me because I am born lively and spiritedly and I like talking!
"They say it's a yes. We can file for a divorce," he tells me. "You. You can file for a divorce." I corrected.
"Uh, no, we. You suggested it, I did the rest," he adds. "Anyway, it might take a little while but you can begin like um... you know, pack your things and prepare? Only if you like."
I nodded. Well, he suggested it. I'm sure he'll pay a few golds to those who'll find out to keep their mouths shut to cover up for me. We're doing this to favor each other.
I'm about to leave this place! I can never be happier. I can go back to my own place and have all the time on my own. I'll work when I wanna work. I'll be the boss of my own.
If I wanna play, then I'll go play! There's seriously nothing I could ever worry about once I leave his palace! I'll be free!
But something's not going right.
Thinking about what my life would be after I step out of this palace, I once considered it a hellhole during my early stay, now I see it as a palace that you should slowly start peeling to get to the inside.
This is the most secretive palace I have ever known. If I were given a chance to write some information about our generation's history, I'd like to put what I learned living in the palace of King Jungkook.
He's not as bad... as I thought.
I could notice, that he's getting comfortable with me, the constant teasing, endless bickering over small things, him becoming an unstoppable laughing maniac when he breaks the lone string I have to be as patient as I can, smiling either sarcastically or with his eyes whenever I tell him a joke.
There are still many things aside from these, that I can't put in words to describe.
Oddly enough, this was so satisfying to reminisce. The feeling it gives somewhat differs, I... I can't really explain, it's unprecedented.
It's not a feeling you can figure out right after feeling it. It's hard to discover what truth it carries and the whys, the why am I feeling like this?
I never felt this before. The ticklish feeling in my stomach whenever we talk. My lips, almost immediately curve for a smile when I hear his name being mentioned or him appearing in front of me, or beside me, or behind me as he tries to startle me, trying to earn the much-expected reaction he wants to have.
And my heart.
My heart, never-ending beating thrice the original speed of it beating to keep me alive when he's with me.
And leaving the place... saddens me, surprisingly.
Isn't this what I wanted? I suggested divorce and he agreed with it and went to apply for it and now receiving the news that we can end our marriage gets me suddenly down!
For no reason at all!
Maybe I got too attached to him. Yeah. Maybe this is it. The measureless every kind of bonding we had is only making me feel like this. Makes me feel like it's hard to let go because of the unplanned memories we created together.
Leaning still, I held the edges of the railing for support to be balanced. It was time for sunset when I arrived after having finished my duties for today.
Just wanted to be at ease.
And want to make this as memorable as I can. I'm leaving this place soon and I didn't really discover there's a pavilion built here, not until Jungkook and I spoke to each other when I confronted him.
For the nth time, another smile makes its way to my face upon thinking of his name, my heart fluttering at the same time.
Why does the thought of him make me feel unusual things? Were these magic? Did he cast a spell on me? Do witches even exist here?
"How can the sun displays such magnificent views like this when it's setting down?" I asked myself, too indulged in examining the sky, the sky that flaunts the pastel colors from above to below.
How pretty.
Having to touch one of those clouds, must be such an achievement, it's more than that I presume.
"Aren't you feeling a bit lonely in here?"
I looked back, seeing Jungkook stepping inside the pavilion.
"Not at all," I replied, looking back at the sky, pointing at it to show him the impressive view. "The colors are stunning, weren't they?"
"They are, correct."
"I had thoughts if anyone can be able to touch, or maybe, their fingertip can touch the clouds. It's a great honor to be able to do that, is it?"
"I see no reason why, only that it would require a person a lot of time to figure how will they be able to reach the pleasing sight," he answers, standing right next to me.
"Yeah..." I sighed. Not only time but it's required to have your mind function as you brainstorm on how are you able to bring yourself up there.
"The closest thing a person can do to reach it is by drawing or painting the sky," I added, still looking up, forgetting to spare another glance at the man with me.
"Do you wanna paint?"
His sudden question catches me off-guard, I didn't think of that. I glanced at him. "What?"
"Do you want to paint?" he asks again. "With me?"
A shaky breath emits from my lips as my heart is yet again, beating quicker. My eyelids fluttered, didn't know what to answer right away.
In the end, I nodded, becoming excited as this was the first time in a couple of months since I painted.
The last painting I tried to paint is a painting of a flower field. I did it out of inspiration seeing the flowers that Sana planted after I went to her Kingdom.
"Don't stroke your brush too fast!" I complained, unable to follow his lead due to his fast movements. Of course, he's fast, he's used to paint but let me remind him he's here to teach me!
"This ain't even fast," he replies, ceasing his movements. "It is fast! Try to be slow as possible! You're teaching me!" I whined in annoyance.
"But stroking it slowly is boring unless you have to paint small parts, then you gotta be slow."
I groaned. "I don't want you as my teacher!"
"As if I want you to be my student." I facepalmed. He chuckled.
"Alright, little one, I don't want to get any bruise if you get even more annoyed," glaring at him, I gripped my paintbrush and started hitting him with it.
"Little one?! You take that back!" he raises his arms, blocking himself.
"Stop it."
"No! You're too much! How can a teacher teach as fast as this?!"
"For one, I am King and you forced me to teach you!" he retorts.
"Yah! You're the one who asked if I wanna paint with you!"
"I only asked but I didn't suggest I'd teach you, you brought this to yourself!" getting irritated more by his remarks, I stood up, going forth.
But then.
I tripped.
Quicker than ever, I regret my decision of standing up to give him a good lesson of beating when I tripped over my foot while charging at him.
I screamed. My reflexes made me hold onto his body for support as I wait for my body to collide with the ground.
"Ouch..." I whimpered. Ugh! My back! It's almost like someone forced me to sleep and pushes me to the ground with all the person's might!
"Are you okay?" I heard him.
I shook my head, indicating a no as an answer. "My back," I complained, whining. Oh, gosh, did it got dislocated?! The fall isn't that high but the impact was strong!
"I think my back's dislocated," he laughed. "Silly girl," he comments. I looked up to meet his face, but got startled when I realized how close it was to mine!
That's when it came to my mind that I was on the ground, laying down, with him on top of me, keeping his arm on my side to support himself from not literally falling on top of me and his other--now I'm feeling it on my head!
Did he put his hand before we fell to make sure it won't hit the ground or if it did, at least it had protection?
My face flushed red thinking about it. "You can do some exercises if your back doesn't feel right," he says.
"Except if it was your head that hit the ground first, I might cut off my ties with you right away,"
I rolled my eyes at him, pushing him off of me, he laughed as he does what I said.
A gasp left my mouth when he pulled me with him, it happened so fast that it got my legs wobbly and I had to have my arms clung around him as if my life was about to be taken.
My body reacted to his actions differently. Basically, I felt like he pulled me out of the water, and here I am, gasping for air.
"Woah, woah... get your legs together," he reminds me after I almost fell sideways, unable to keep my composure straight.
"Did I scare you?" he asks, solemnly. I nodded, not knowing why I can't open my lips and form any word to explain what I felt.
No one's ever done that to me. I did fall many many times but when someone helps me stand back on my feet, they just don't pull me as he did. They make sure I'm in charge of checking if I can really stand up or needed to be carried on the way back to the palace.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, audible only to both of us.
It's gut-wrenching. It almost feels like my soul's being ripped out of me. And I can't do anything as my mind's blocked with the thought of when I fell on the ground and there is no way I can stop this person or entity or someone who wants my soul and lifted me up by my arms.
I felt him lean closer, his nose almost brushing with mine. His hands encircled my waist, pulling me closer to his embrace.
"I'm sorry,"
Shivers ran down my spine, sending signals to the nerves in my body. My hands gripped his clothes tighter.
He took his other hand off my waist, placing it on my cheek instead, feeling the natural luke-warm warmth it carries, my eyes instantly closed as I focus on breathing heavily rather than still gasping.
"Breathe slowly for me." he continued to whisper comforting words, helping me to breathe normally.
He didn't mean that. He just wanted to help me stand up. He first protected my head from bumping into the hard surface. And he helped me go back to my feet, however, I reacted contrastingly to the reaction he thought I'd have.
People will say I overreacted, and scared the heck out of him with my bewildered reaction but speaking frankly, it's scary. Hard to imagine being pulled as if your bones won't bend or get dislocated.
Minute by minute, my breathing slowly goes back to its natural pace, and the grip on his clothes began to lose as I calm down.
"You're fine."
I again, looked up, to meet his eyes. There was a hint of concern in his eyes, he was worried and... relieved when my breathing went back to normal.
"I'm sorry." he again says, more softly than ever this time.
I nodded, still breathing heavily to maintain being as calm as I can. Don't think about it, Tzu. Don't. He apologized already, he realized his mistake and he quickly apologizes for that.
He's noticed the consternation he put you in as the consequence of his actions.
But he apologized in an instance.
I did not mind our position at all. He's helping me to calm down. My forehead leaning against his, his hand on my cheek, the other wrapped in my waist and mine gripping his shoulders.
I can't see why there should be anything wrong with this. Maybe for me who lived here for a few weeks, she would probably feel revolted after seeing this.
"Are you okay?" he asks, keeping still. I again bob my head upward and downward, giving an answer. "Still feeling tensed?"
"A-a bit..." I replied, stuttering at first. "I'm sorry, I didn't think through past what I'm about to do," he says. "I thought it would be okay but seeing your initial reaction, it terrified me, thinking you'd undergo a trauma."
"I-i'm fine, I-i just needs a few more minutes to recover fully," I told him, inhaling and exhaling.
He nodded. He didn't say anything after that but gave me a couple of gentle strokes on my cheek and the side of my waist.
He's showing affection through his actions. He can put those in words but decided it'd be better if he acts them.
Gosh, i-is this the right time to say I'm admiring him for that? In this situation? Whereas I'm close to hyperventilating?
"My King. My Queen."
My breathing comes to a halt. Jungkook leaned back, turning to the person who had caught us in this position no servant, palace guard, general, or anyone would have thought we can be this close to each other. But this general was given a great opportunity to see us like this.
Even I was still stunned, that we ended up in this position.
"I deeply apologize for interrupting but we've received such important news, and you are required to attend as a meeting is called between all Kings of Kingdoms surrounding Goguryeo," he explained briefly.
"What's the matter about?"
"They did not say, only that it was personal and needed to be discussed as soon as possible. They expect you to arrive at King Shinjo's palace within two hours."
He nodded his head, sinking the information in his head. "Prepare the carriage," he ordered. The general nods his head. "Once again, I deeply apologize for interrupting. I'll take my leave, Your Majesty," he bows again before leaving as he said.
What's the meeting all about then? Why sudden? It's personal, that could either mean it is just about King Shinjo or a matter seen more serious than it seems, meaning it's significant.
And what? King Shinjo's? Wasn't he one of those Kingdoms who displayed his hate towards Jungkook since he became King?
What's this? Is this a setup? It doesn't look or feel like one. The general wouldn't come and tell his King if he knew they were planning something to sabotage him or set him up.
"I gotta go," he told me as if I didn't listen to their conversation when my ears are as wide open as he thinks.
"I'll come back later but don't wait for me. I'll be late." I gave him a slight nod. "Please eat your meal right on time. The servants are just around the palace, you can call anybody other than Jiyoon only."
"I understand," I said, holding his hand that was still on my cheek. "Be safe, both on your way to the palace and back here. We don't know if they really have something important to discuss or--"
"He won't be asking for my attendance if it wasn't. Don't overthink. I can handle myself. A thing like this can be more crucial than you think, it may be a threat to the country or anything relevant that is qualified to be a threat not only to Goguryeo but to us living on its lands." he cuts me off, explaining.
Okay then, he's got me. I'm just worried. That King is known for his hateful remarks towards my husband.
"I'll come back, that's a promise."
I gasped, feeling him dampen his lips on my forehead, giving it a long and soft kiss. Oh God, my heart. My heart's acting up!
Jungkook left quickly. I noticed the number of palace guards on duty when I went out to see him get inside the carriage that will send him to the place he's going, why are they doubled? Or maybe, tripled? They weren't this many before.
Or maybe I'm seeing things?
Yeah. Probably.
For the first time since we had gotten closer, I had my last meal for today eaten alone in the silent chamber. Something's off. I didn't even taste what I ate and went on finishing it despite not having any appetite.
He's not here. It doesn't feel complete. There's something missing. He's missing.
I stayed up a few hours late to wait for him but he didn't. It only gave me the confirmation that what they're discussing is significant. And needed all Kings in Kingdoms to discuss it with.
May 24.
I waited all day for Jungkook to come back. As he promised but he didn't. The next day, the general who informed him about the meeting had ordered his personal servant to pack a few of his clothes.
That's when I found out he can't come home yet. I know whatever their topic is all about is as serious as heck but he can write me a letter he can't come back yet, right? To give assurance, right?
I waited. And waited. Until it was the second week since he went gone, and still no sign of him.
But a rumor.
Going around in every district of Goguryeo, in all its places, even the secret passages.
"Jiyoon, what's happening? Why is everybody panicking?" I asked after seeing the people of the town panicking as they pick the products they sell, hastily putting them into bags and running away after.
"My Queen, please get back to the palace!" Jiyoon's panicked as well.
"Jiyoon, what's happening?" I asked, with a serious tone this time. "M-my Queen, I'll tell you once you are back inside the palace. I-it's not safe outside!"
"Jiyoon."
"P-please, I beg you, my Queen." she's getting frightened every second. Not because of the attitude I'm showing to her but the information she's received earlier.
"What is it?!"
"Korea's under attack by the Japanese, my Queen! They have come to conquer the whole of Korea!"