Minju's POV:
We are on the last few days of Spring and summer was fast approaching. It was beginning to get hotter and hotter these days. My god, I swear it's making me crazy by the minute that I was exposed under the heat of the sun. It was maddening but I had to still shoot some Magazine covers for Vogue. After the shoot we went ahead and had a break, Hyem of course surprised me again and sent me refreshments, Iced Coffee and a bouquet and her note said to have a great day ahead since she knew it was hot, she hoped I can cool down with the drinks, she also said something more is coming. She's really thoughtful like this and the staff were relentlessly teasing me with their thank you for the drink that Hyewon had sent. Oh gosh, I think I'll be strangling her later. The staffs were nice and kind over all but do they really have to tease me endlessly? I smiled otherwise at them and bowed my head to them whenever they approached me. The last few months had been busy for me, this was because of several projects I had. Several fashion shoots and preparing for my upcoming drama announcement.
She was similarly shooting for her webtoon character. She was receiving some flack with her height, the fans are really either an ally or an anti. We were both busy from all the work we are doing as is the other members who are either preparing for comeback, promotions, acting or shooting magazine covers. Everyone of IZ*ONE were super busy that we rarely saw each other. The group chat was alive though, they still send updates and other miniscule things currently happening with them. We also send snacks and other stuff the two other members in Japan were needing or craving. Hii-chan and I were supposed to hangout once she visits for work with Eunbi Unnie and Chaeyeon Unnie in August. It was a quick weekend trip. Before she comes back to Japan, I planned to take her to several bakeries she wanted to try.
Albeit my schedule was a little jam packed in August, I already made sure to set aside time for Hii-chan. I was updating my Minjoo-dans about my daily life on Bubble except I don't ever mention Hyewon's name. Our life together were still a secret we've kept. Only several staffs knew about us, trusted staffs from both 8D and UrbanWorks, the magazine shoot staffs were same staff who shot our magazine cover once back in IZ*ONE so we basically knew them both, we treated everyone in our line of work with so much respect. That they respected us both, they helped us in the beginning of our relationship, the blossoming feelings between Hyewon and I were palpable, we are never shy in showing subtle moves towards each other. Probably Hyewon was a little shy during IZ*ONE Days, but she always clung to me whenever she gets the chance.
Often she couldn't look me straight in the eye, which later I found out that it was the case because she had blossoming feelings for me too, but she tried her hardest to hold it in, often calling Chaeyeon Unnie her Jagiya, initiating skinship with Sakura Unnie and the rest of the members. She tried her hardest not to show her true 'colors' to me, she tried but failed. Until we got a chance to go out for a walk at the boardwalk in the U.S.A for K-Con, we went to the U.S.A and during a downtime for the one week affair, we had the chance to go and walk. She surprised me when she held my hand and intertwined our hands as we walked at the beach. Then she started to confess to me.
Minjoo... I like you... No, uhm I love you... Like I really really love and like you. Like romantically. She mumbles to me as we walked.
Unnie? You like and love? Like romantically? Are you sure? I asked her back.
Yeah, I'm sure. Like sure sure. Y'know? Aigooo! She stopped walking and held me by both hands and turned me towards her.
Our back drop was the sunsetting behind us.
I really like you, I love you more than my life, like I wanted to have Mini Minjoo's and Hyewons with you, build a family and life with you. I'm bad at professing my love, but hear me out, I have always loved you since the first time I've met you back a year ago, Produce 48 days was my fondest memories of you, I worked hard because I always had the opportunity to sit with you and talk to you, make hearts when the cameras pan our way, I just wish I had the courage to tell you how I always felt. Now, Minjoo, I don't think I can hold myself back any longer than I have. So, I wanted to ask you out on a proper date, be my girlfriend, spend our lives together and and...
She cutely stuttered, finding a coherent sentence. I stepped forward and encircled her in a hug.
Unnie, you don't have to explain it at length. I understand what you meant and I love you too, more than I would ever admit to anyone. It just feels right when I am with you, taking photos of you and hanging out with you like this instance. I love you more than anything else too and yes I will be your girlfriend.
Thus began our story, we had sweeter moments together during the last few months of being an IZ*ONE Member, she bravely clung to me and even went as far as talking about how beautiful I am with our WIZ*ONEs, it has been a year post IZ*ONE Disbandment, we've since forged our own paths in the industry and we are still holding out strong, despite minor hiccups such as the Sasaeng Fan who found out I was in a relationship with another woman. Thank goodness for Chaeyeon's idea of decorating our house with photos of the whole group, otherwise we will be found out. I trust that we will come out with our truth, by the end of this year, we will come out. Though Hyewon seemed reluctant with the reveal 8D wasn't at all helpful at this point, she often gets nothing these days from 8D. Not even allowing her Hyemdans to send food trucks to her filming. Her Instagram was still unverified, not even an attempt to get her Instagram verified, it was like all her hard work was reduced to nothing, like her work didn't count for her credibility as an artist of the K-Entertainment Industry. Her recent uploads on YouTube also didn't have English Captions, making her International Hyemdans a little upset.
We already talked about our move to a different company. It was a good thing that our contracts will expire in 2023, so far it is everyone's game. We came out to producers as a couple and expressed our want to come out, who ever will support us, we will sign with them. We told them to keep it hush until we come out. So far there was SM Entertainment and YG-X, these two were relentless in pursuing us. SM most especially was interested with Hyewon and I. We honestly fitted SM's pure visuals, great kind of people they were looking for, they even agreed to support us. But we had to tell them we had another company we would consider and hold meetings with and to give us until the end of the year to actually decide on matters. Which they gracefully agreed to do. Soon lunch came and food truck was delivered by Hyewon to the set. It was one of those that offered hot meals. Her message on the truck read as follows.
To Minjoo who likes to take care of everyone around her, this time I took care of your lunch. Please enjoy lunch, I might be busy myself, but you will always be in my mind and heart and soul. Let's fighting through the rest of our days, stay humble and pretty my aegiya. -Hyemu
I nearly melted at her sweetness. She could be either a tsundere or the sweetest soul there ever was. I typed a message on our Kakao Chat Window.
Minguring: Aegiya! You really surprised me! Thank you for the cold drinks and lunch to the shooting staff, we are grateful for your thoughtfulness. Fighting through the day for you too, do great in acting and I'm sorry I can't send a food truck to you, because 8D won't even allow us to send one, your fans and I were on the same boat this time.☹️ But, when my schedule eases up, I will make lunch for your staff and the drama staff. Fighting my Hyemu-rangi! I miss you heaps! I miss being your supportive girlfriend, I promise to really make it up to you one of these days. ☹️ Saranghae. 🥺
Hyemu-rangi: You don't need to tire yourself out, my Minguring. We are fine on set. We are currently eating lunch. My lunch is bingsu, because it's too hot to get something else. 🤣😂 I'm kidding, Naengmyeon and then for dessert bingsu. Have a good lunch, aegiya. 😘🥰 Take care coming home to me. 🥺☹️ I miss you heaps too. Saranghae. 🥺😭
Minguring: We're ridiculously in love, I say it's ridiculous because we say we miss each other despite every end of day, we are together, we always end up in one roof. 🤣😂 I love you so much, Hyemu-rangi. Take care on your way home. I'll finish up this shoot and come home soon. I'll have dinner ready for you before you come home. Saranghae. 😘
Hyemu-rangi: Nado, I'll make sure to work hard so I can get off work early. Take care, aegi~ Stay safe. I have guards guarding you on set, so anyone who tries to visit you will be promptly shot to death. 😤
Minguring: Ah uh! Your guards aren't shooting anyone. Hurry back to me Hyemu-rangi. 🥺 I have to go and eat and finally wrap up the shoot. 😘 Saranghae.
Hyemu-rangi: Nado, Saranghae. 😘
We went and lined up for food and after went back to the dressing room to eat. Hyemu-rangi was Hyemu + Horangi, I call Hyem that because she looks like a tiger when she's serious and a Hamster when she's being a silly Unnie. Lunch was delicious, we had cold salad, some cold cuts of meat and cold Naengmyeon. It was a refreshing lunch that it made me power through the heat. Soon the photoshoot concluded. The staff clapped their hands and I smiled and bowed to everyone before leaving for home. Soon after changing into my own clothes, I was ready to head home when the Sasaeng Fan showed up to the set together with my other fans. I have ID'd her, I knew what she looked like because the Police shared the information to me. I whispered to Manager Unnie, that she's here. Then pretended to scroll through my phone.
"Soojin Unnie, she's here. The sasaeng fan who threatened Hyem and I." I told her.
"Right, she's here. The nerve of this lady! Ayshe! I'm calling the security now." She replied to me and stopped me from moving towards my van.
We were by the door, I was the only one the fans could see, Soojin Unnie was in my back, I was covering her.
"Chief, please come by the door, the Sasaeng is here. We are waiting behind the door. Okay, yeah, we will wait for you." Soojin Unnie told the Chief of Security.
Soon, Chief of Security Jeon Jung In came, the bulky Oppa positioned himself beside me, the rest of the security team walked ahead to contain the crowd. Another security was to my right. My initial instructions to them is not to hurt my fans or purposefully shove them back, take whatever they wanted to hand me, letters and stuff, but leave the dolls or stuffed toys behind. As an IZ*ONE Member previously, we were only allowed to take things that are safe, fan letters, snacks, candies, flowers are good and acceptable, but the dolls and stuffed animals we would have to leave with the fans, often as a token of our appreciation, we sign those dolls and give them back to fans. The dolls can contain recording devices embedded within them, so we give those back to fans after the event has ended.
I also sign them when I go out and someone approaches me. But recently, I had to stay away from fans not only for my own security but also for my own health. Earlier, I got COVID and I wish not to get that again. Self-isolation took a good chunk of my sanity, I always cried for Hyewon to be able to hug her and hold her close, I was already used to sleeping in one bed with her. So, being cut off through self-isolation earlier in the year gave me so much separation anxieties. Hyewon would stay by my door, she camps just outside, telling me stories about her day, how she went to buy groceries so that our Unnies can cook for me. She told me how cool Chaen and Eunbi Unnie were cooking for me. She eventually learned how to cook for me, because as she said, she felt ashamed not being able to feed me home cooked meals when I was down sick with COVID.
Though for me, it didn't matter who cooked, whether it was me, Chaeyeon or Eunbi Unnie. All I needed was her physical affection. Nothing else, but that time, I was down with COVID. Most of the Korean members have caught COVID on the first year, it was Chaewon, Hyewon, Chaeyeon and I who hasn't caught it but this year I was down with it, so we are being extra careful of our health. My fans were very worried, so I had to come on Bubble to update them from time to time. Isolation took a week, I had to halt all of my activities and really focus on getting better. It was nice to rest but definitely not that way. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, the hardness of breathing and other difficulties in your airway, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone else.
Soon, we were walking towards my van, fans flocking from either sides of me. Waving at me, I flashed a smile at them and waved back. The sasaeng pushed a fan, causing her to go off balance. It was a good thing one of the security caught her before she fell down. Otherwise she would be hurt. The security made sure she wasn't hurt or anything as we walked towards my van. Then another one was shoved by the sasaeng, which was also caught by my security, I had to stop walking and stare her down, it was one thing to threaten me but an entirely different thing when she causes my fans injury. I was more than prepared for what was about to come.
"Yah! Stop pushing everyone! Don't think I didn't see you back there, there's no one behind you! So you don't have any reason to push anyone. Certainly not when there's no one from behind you pushing you and I don't especially like it when my fans are hurting just trying to see me. I want my fans to be safe, just like I am safe! So please stop pushing anyone!" I scolded the sasaeng fan and looked her in the eyes.
My fans took a few moments of silence, it was a standstill. All eyes were on the person who was pushing and shoving them.
"Didn't your parents raised you right? Didn't they tell you it's bad to push someone? Well, you need to go back home and stay home until you learned how to treat others nicely!" I scolded her once again.
It felt great to shame her, repercussions be damned. I am not someone she could push, she must've had me mixed up with Hyewon who stays silent most of the time, when she encounters unruly fans or antis. I wasn't down for that, because my fans are so nice and sweet, they are lovely. I walked away from the scene feeling good that I stood up for my fans who had been waiting for me outside the set. My fans were silently judging her, all eyes are on her now, that by the time I got into the van, nobody noticed I was gone. I lowered the window down and waved goodbye to everyone as I waited for my staff to finish loading up some of the stuff I got as gifts from the fans and some of the stuff that I have gotten as a gift from the shooting staffs. They were all nice and sweet to me.
"Take care on your way home, guys. See you next next week on Music Core!" I told my fans.
They are all eagerly waving at me, the sasaeng fan already forgotten. She quietly slipped out of the crowd and I saw her walk away.
"Minju! Thank you for protecting us!" One of the fan site masters shouted towards me.
"Welcome! Of course, we all wanted to be safe." I replied to him.
"Minju, how is everyone doing these days?" One of the original IZ*ONE Master Fan Site asked me.
"We're all busy these days, Master-nim. Chaeyeon and Eunbi Unnies are preparing for Eunbi Unnie's concert, Hyewon is busy with her future release with Stella Jang Sunbae-nim. Hii and Nako-chan are doing fine too, so is Kkura Unnie, Chaewon Unnie, Yujin and Wonyoung are preparing for another comeback. Yuri is preparing for her first K-Drama, then Yena Unnie is also busy preparing for her comeback. I chat with them, I even heard Yena Unnie's comeback, please give her all the love when she comes back." I replied to him.
"Minju, when are we seeing you sing again?" One of my Master Fan Site asked me.
"Soon." I replied smiling at him.
"What about acting debut after IZ*ONE?" Another Master Fan Site asked me.
"Didn't I tell you guys before to wait for me? I did, didn't I? So, please wait for me, patiently I will have good news by tomorrow." I replied to them.
"Alright! Take care on your way home, Minju-yah!" He replied to me.
It was the fourteenth today and tomorrow, the whole of Korea will know that I was casted to play a role. An announcement by MBC will be made and my profiles will be updated to include the said Joseon Ban on Marriage acting credit. I am excited to show my fans a great performance. I will be playing the former Queen whose death will cause the marriage ban. I waved once more to my fans once the driver climbed back in to the van. We travelled back to Mapo-gu for an hour and a half. Once I reached our house, I unlocked the gate and got in. I opened the main door and the lights before sending a message to Soojin Unnie telling her that they can now go as I am inside the house safe.
I started for the Kitchen, I opened the fridge and inspected the fridge for food I can cook. We are almost out and depleted. We have to do a Grocery Run tomorrow. I opened the Notes App on my phone. I started to make a list of ingredients we needed to buy, I also listed the snacks we needed to replenish. Hyem and I were big on snacks. Consuming around half a million won each week on snacks alone. Don't get us started for our meals too, because another 1.5 million won is allotted for meals. Mostly meat, eggs and vegetables. We recently switched to Shirataki Rice and Noodles for a low carb and filling meal. We needed to maintain our figures, Hyem especially because her character Bomi was a skinny and tall girl.
I found that we still had chicken, some eggs, Kimchi, Potatoes, Left over braised Tofu, some greens that were already cooked, some buckwheat noodles and carrots and other uncooked green spring onions. I brought out all the ingredients and started to prepare our dinner of Dakgalbi, Gamja Jeon and Japchae along with the other braised or stir fried banchan to be reheated. I started at around six and seven in the evening, just as I was finishing cooking Japchae, Hyemu arrived and called me.
"Yeobo! I'm home!" She said through the whole house.
"Yeobo, in the kitchen! I'm about to be done cooking!" I replied to her.
Shortly thereafter, I felt a set of hands encircle me from behind, a chaste and loving kiss was placed upon the nook of my shoulder blade and neck. Like she always does every day.
"Wow! You cooked all this?" She asked me.
"Of course, I did. Now freshen up for dinner, wash your hands and sit down at the table." I replied to her.
She places another peck at the nook of my neck before she went ahead and got changed. She reemerged in the dining table for twelve, just as I was serving dinner. She smiled a grateful smile towards me. I served dinner and right after, I changed into comfortable clothes and washed my hands before sitting down with her. We had dinner and talked about how our day went.
"I actually confronted the sasaeng earlier. She was pushing some of my fans." I told her.
I heard Hyewon gasped at my revelation when it was my turn to tell her how my day ended.
"Wow! You did that?" She replied.
"Yeah, I called her out on her bullshit, I even told her to go home and learn not to push anyone. I stared her down too." I replied to her.
"Whoa! My aegi did that? Whoa, how did she react?" She asked me.
"She just kept quiet, all my fans looked at her. It felt good to speak up. She quietly slipped out of the crowd, right after I got into my van." I replied to her.
"Aegiya... Please never do that again. Let security handle it next time. She might be dangerous, she might get to you and hurt you." She replied worriedly.
"She's not going to hurt me. I won't let her." I replied to her.
"I'm just saying. You shouldn't respond or give her attention." She replied to me.
"Not when she's hurting other people. I can't just let her do that either." I replied to her.
"I know. But that's why you have security." She replied.
"Hyewon, I really can't just keep quiet when she's deliberately hurting my fans, that's where I draw the line. I already agreed not to talk to her anymore, to get an extra phone, to have additional security, I already did things your way but did it get better? It didn't didn't it? All I am saying is, I need to speak up for my fans. Because the fans and the whole of IZ*ONE are the only people I could trust apart from my family, IZ*ONE and my fans is all I got. If you don't like what I did, then go find another woman to be with, not me, because I will never be quiet when someone provokes me to speak for the people I hold dear. It feels like you're expecting me to keep mum about us and about this ordeal that seemingly only I gets affected and you, you're just unscathed, no worries for you, because you're not the one who is being harassed." I launched into a passionate sermon.
My voice hardened by her lack of 'care' or worst her lack of empathy for me.
"It's not that I wanted you to keep quiet. She's a sasaeng fan, she dedicated her life finding your private information. She knows a good deal about you. All I wanted is for you to be safe. Jinjja, you don't get to tell me I should look for another woman, because I could but I won't. Because I love you. All I ever wanted was for you to shut your mouth and let me deal with this on my own." She raised her voice.
She was usually soft spoken when she speaks. This was the first time ever I heard her raise her voice to me or to anyone.
"Well, I'm letting you go. You're free to go." I replied to her and stood up from my seat.
I can't just keep quiet anymore than I have. I got into our shared room and sat on my side of the bed. Tears automatically fell down from my eyes that I had to put my head down and wipe the lone tear that escaped. Then I felt the bed dip beside me. I don't dare look up, I was by now a mess. Since she won't leave, I will leave, so I decided to go take a shower and leave right after. I wasn't in the mood to speak to her, I already decided we were over. Once I slipped into the bathroom, I heard her foot steps behind me. I didn't bother locking the door, she can enter the door, but I won't talk to her anymore, if she wanted peace and quiet, I can give her that. I'm an introvert, I can always keep quiet when I need to, in fact I don't speak that much. I will only speak when someone speaks to me, otherwise I'm comfortable with my silence. I can even go on like this for the rest of my life, if she really wanted me not to speak then I won't, it's easy.
I stepped into the shower area and locked the sliding door leading to the shower area. I first removed my clothes and dropped them into a chute I had designed that leads to the laundry room downstairs. Every shower area in the house had this chute that leads to the central laundry room. Hyewon was outside the door, waiting. Before I could start the shower, she speaks to me.
"I'm sorry, Minju." She said.
Her voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm so sorry for raising my voice, for all this things you are going through. I just wanted for us to wait for the right time to come out. Now isn't the right time, both of us have upcoming projects, both of us are busy, if we can push it back to the end of the year, I am willing to do that, because I don't want your show to be a flop. It's not hard to understand now is it? Am I the only one thinking about you and the longevity of your career? Am I the sole person to think of that? Minju, we're no longer kids, we're young adults, we can't just come out because we thought no one will care about us, your fans are the sole reason why I don't want to come out just yet. You aren't ready. When the spotlight fades just like after we concluded IZ*ONE, there will be no one left and I would hate myself knowing that I caused it." She said and sobbed.
"I would hate myself if we failed to be an actress." She follows up as she sobbed uncontrollably.
I started to shower and let her sob, the shower have helped in drowning out her sobbing. I just can't anymore, I'm tired and drained, I just needed to rest. I needed to leave this place, probably see Eunbi Unnie, Yena Unnie or Chaeyeon Unnie. After showering, I went ahead and got my towel from the hanging drying rack. Just beside the door. I dried myself using the towel. Then wrapped myself in the towel. I stepped out of the shower and got back into our room. I started to pick out four change of clothes. I dressed myself in a jogging pants, sweatshirt from Citybreeze and my white sneakers and cap. She was still sobbing in the bathroom, I made my quick escape and called a taxi company. Soon the taxi arrived and I got in. I told the driver to take me to Yeonnam-dong where Eunbi Unnie lives. I called Unnie to let her know I'm going to her place and crash there for a few days.
Unnie, I'm going to your place. I'm on my way. I told her once she picked up my call.
Aegi? What happened? Why so sudden?
I'll explain once I get there, Unnie. I replied shakily to her.
Okay. Where's Hyemu? She asked.
Home. I replied to her.
Oh. I gotcha. I get it. Everything will be alright. Aegi. She'll say sorry eventually. She replied.
Unnie... I broke us off. I replied to her.
Then tears continued to spill down from my eyes. Just when I thought I was done crying. It doesn't stop there.
Oh. Oh no. She'll come around, don't finalize things you would both regret. You'll cool down tonight and I am bringing you back home tomorrow, okay? She replied to my sobbing.
Unnie. I can't anymore. Everything is just rules between us. I don't know if I want to go back. I replied to her.
Mingju... You both would have to talk. But right now, you can't talk to her, because there is too much emotions running through the both of you. I just know Hyewon isn't a bossy person. If this is about the Sasaeng, she's right aegi. These type of fans dedicated so much of their time researching god knows whatever about the idol they like. She's just worried. Where are you exactly? Geumbi and I will come meet you. She replied to me.
About two blocks away from your place. I replied to her.
Okay, Geumbi and I will come now, Geumbi! Your favorite Aunt Ming is coming, come let's welcome her. I was Geumbi's Favorite Aunt because every IZ*ONE Member was Geumbi's Favorite Aunts.
Geumbi yapped in the background, he's cute. He looks like Hyewon's ZeeZee. Only ZeeZee was a female and Geumbi a male. They are the same breed and color. Soon I reached Eunbi Unnie's house. I saw her and Geumbi already waiting for me. I paid the taxi and got down immediately. Eunbi Unnie encircled me in a hug. Her warmth consumed me shortly thereafter. I let her engulf me in a hug. Eventually I hugged her back. Making the hug even tighter with Geumbi in between us. Geumbi barked a tiny one, he's so cute.
"I'm glad you are safe." I heard Eunbi Unnie whisper to me.
"Yeah, I am always safe, Unnie." I replied and paused.
"Hyewon knows how to take care of me." I whispered quietly at the realization that indeed, Hyewon have made my life easier and more secured.
I have had it easy this past few months and I just let her figure out some things I should be worried about myself. But instead, she was the one who is worried and have taken even more steps to clear out some of the tangle we've been in. She was always the one ready to catch me when I fall into a spiral out of control. Heck, she even learned how to cook for me. I quickly realized just how much I've been being unreasonable with Hyewon with all these demands to be free to love her, no, each other. I was unreasonably unfair to her.
"I know you realized it just now, she was right. Our fans are merely fans, you don't need to show off your love for Hyewon. Don't aspire to be the conventional relationship, because the both of you are special. What you have with her is special, it's not conventional, yes. But you are both special." She replied.
"Geumbi, say hi to Auntie Mingju!" Eunbi Unnie follows up to Geumbi this time.
Geumbi licked me on the cheek. Causing some giggles out of me. He barked a little dog's bark. He's intelligent like ZeeZee is, he's very well mannered and behaved mostly. He never ran around during the times he went with Eunbi Unnie through several of IZ*ONE's Promotions. Before we could make it back to her front door, another Taxi stopped.
"Yeobo..." She called out to me.
"I'll leave you two alone. You can come inside both of you when you're done talking." Eunbi Unnie replied to us.
"Let's go Geumbi, we'll wait for Auntie Mingju and Auntie Hyemu inside." Eunbi Unnie told Geumbi and went inside her house.
I was left with Hyewon outside and so I faced h⁰er.
"Yeobo... I'm really sorry." She said to me.
"Forgiven. I just need sometime off, off of you and off of being your domestic partner. If it's okay, I'll stay here for two days." I replied to her.
"Yeobo..." She replied.
A sigh escaped her lips.
"Okay. I'll allow you to stay here for two days. But you have to come home right after. I will pick you up here myself." She replied to me.
"Okay. Yeobo. Pick me up on the seventeenth. Friday, evening. Thanks." I replied to her.
"Okay. Have fun with Eunbi Unnie." She replied.
"I will. You too with your alone time. I'm sorry, I just need time to cool off. To think things through, because I'm also confused with what I want. I'll come back renewed and stronger." I replied to her.
She encircles me in a hug, I sank into her hug almost instantaneously. I hugged her back and patted her back ever so lightly. She tightens her hug as if she didn't want to let me go. She sobbed into the hug, for whatever reason, I have no idea.
"Yeobo, stop crying. I'll only be gone for two days, we both need this break. I need to stop for a while and have a break from all the things that's happening, I need to know if I really can fight Kyu-jin, I need to know if I can continue being silent, not answering any of the allegations, because you know, I will always tell my fans the truth and nothing but it. I do love you, but it's just taking a toll on me. So this break will be good to realign myself with my values and other things that truly matters. Right now, I'm becoming agitated because I wanted to show off this amazing person that I love, but we can't do that just yet. Because we are just starting out our lives as previous members of IZ*ONE. You are right, we can't speak up now, but the question is, will I be amenable with all this? Would I be able to keep everything to myself and would I be able to hold on to your hand and never lose it? We almost broke up tonight, Yeobo. I just need to cool down for a bit and rethink everything, how I see my life with you for the next five years, ten, fifteen and the rest of eternity. Will I be able to stand with you under the spotlight that's seeking us? See, these are the questions I have to answer by being apart from you. I hope you get your answers on your own too." I whispered to her and left tiny little kisses trailing up to her temple.
I pulled away slightly and held her face up. My thumbs brushed her incessant tears. It hurt to see her like this, but I need to know if I can fight Kyu-jin the sasaeng fan who is threatening to out us. She's been posting photos, cut out photos of my face, counting down the day she will reveal a secret. She started with my left side of my face. I knew it was my photo, because I had distinct ears and hair. I smiled softly at her, holding back my own tears.
"I need to go now. You need to go and rest, you have shooting tomorrow. Message me when you get home." I followed up to her.
"Okay." She replied and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Okay." I replied and took a step towards Eunbi Unnie's house.
I closed the gate and made my way inside. I had three days off, because Music Core won't be filming this week. Eunbi Unnie was preparing something in the Kitchen. I set down my bag in the couch and Geumbi came and excitedly greeted me. I lifted him up and gave him a proper hug. He in turn licked my cheek again. Typical of Geumbi to greet me this way. I sat on the couch with Geumbi still in my arms.
A/N:
Thank you for reading this chapter. Spread light and love always!
- Sky