Owlpaw padded back into camp with Honeyfrost by her side, the two medicine cats both carrying herbs with them. Honeyfrost had coltsfoot while Honeyfrost carried chickweed, both used to treat coughs. The medicine cats had been hard at work the past few days in an attempt to prepare for the upcoming season, which was approaching fast. Each passing day became colder and colder, the nights were chilly and they would only be getting worse.
Pebblestep had explained that catmint was by for the most important herb during this season, but it was in short supply this season. She had planned to treat each cat as soon as possible with herbs like coltsfoot and chickweed so they could attempt at preventing it the sickness from getting worse.
The two medicine cats reached the den and placed their herbs in the herb store. "Good work." Honeyfrost mewed. "That should be very helpful for us."
"How bad is greencough?" Owlpaw questioned, feeling a small sense of anxiety as she thought about the arrival of leaf-bare.
"It can be bad from what I've heard." Honeyfrost mewed. "The first leaf-bare I experienced was during the journey to the new territories and it claimed the life of a few cats, but none from SunClan." She pawed through the herbs, focused on her task. "Now that I think about I don't think SunClan has lost a cat to greencough in a long time. "Before I was even born, I believe. We've had cats get sick before, but we've usually managed to keep them safe."
Owlpaw let out a breath of relief. "So we should be okay?"
"That depends on us." Honeyfrost turned her attention to Owlpaw. "Cats have been surviving greencough because of the hard work of medicine cats, we will have our work cut out for us. Are you up for it?"
Owlpaw tensed slightly, she wasn't sure exactly how bad it would be, but this was the path she chose. She stepped away from the life of a warrior and she had to find the strength to be a medicine cat, it was her destiny afterall. "I am." She replied, but she couldn't help but feel a slight falter to her voice, she hoped that Honeyfrost didn't notice.
"Good." Honeyfrost waved her tail in satisfaction. "SunClan is lucky to have three medicine cats, we should be just fine this season as long as we're willing to put in the work." Owlpaw nodded and moved to put the rest of her chickweed away. As she did so she stumbled forward, knocking over a pile of dried leaves. Her pelt burned with embarrassment as Honeyfrost looked over at her. "Sorry." She mewed sheepishly. As long as I don't get under anyone's paws. Owlpaw thought as she carefully picked up the stack of dried herbs and tucking them away in a safer location. I should be just fine.
"When is Pebblestep coming back?" Owlpaw mewed once she finished.
"I'm not sure." Honeyfrost replied. "She went out with Yarrowtail to try and search the entire territory for catmint. She'll probably be gone for a while."
"Alright." Owlpaw wasn't quite sure what to do with herself, Honeyfrost seemed capable of finishing her sorting by herself and Owlpaw didn't want to be in the way. She rose to her paws and left the medicine cat den to give Honeyfrost some space. She sat outside the den and began washing the scent of herbs off her paws. Even though she was happy as a medicine cat there was still a part of her that felt like she was always in the way. SunClan had two fully trained medicine cats, it felt like there wasn't much space for her.
Owlpaw shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her head. It's just nerves. I will find my place. I know I will. She took a deep breath and tried to clear her thoughts the best she could, but her silence was quickly broken.
"Owlpaw!" The gray she-cat jumped slightly and her eyes shot up, she found Burnclaw racing towards her.
"What's wrong?" She rose to her paws in alarm, feeling a slight sense of panic.
"I think Petalbreeze is about to kit!" He mewed in a panic. Owlpaw's eyes went wide and she felt her body freeze for a moment. She's kitting? Is this too early? Owlpaw felt a sharp pit in her stomach. "Owlpaw?" Burnclaw's voice pulled her back and she shook away the panic.
"Right." She took a quick shaky breath. "Let me get, Honeyfrost." She quickly turned on her paws and sped into the medicine cat den. Honeyfrost turned around at Owlpaw's sudden interest, her eyes filling with concern. "Petalbreeze is kitting." Owlpaw explained in a slight panic.
Honeyfrost closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Come on, Owlpaw. I need you to gather some herbs while I go check on Petalbreeze. It's time for your first kitting. Grab chervil, ragwort and raspberry leaves." Without wasting another moment, Honeyfrost left the medicine cat den.
Owlpaw felt her paws shaking slightly, she had to move. She forced her body to move towards the herb store. Her eyes scanned over the leaves, petals and berries but they all seemed to blur together. Chervil...chervil. She felt her heart pounding within her chest. Stop. Owlpaw closed her eyes, taking calmings breaths. It's okay. You're okay. You know this. Owlpaw let out her breath and opened her eyes, focusing back on the herbs.
Owlpaw scanned the herbs, feeling slightly more calm as she finally managed to pick out the raspberry, chervil and ragwort. With her herbs safe in her jaws Owlpaw quickly ran to the nursery. As she arrived she noticed Falconheart and Mudfall attempting to wrangle their kits while their mates were inside presumably helping their sister.
Owlpaw slipped by the toms and six kits and stepped into the nursery. The den suddenly felt crowded and overwhelming to Owlpaw, both Sedgefern and Dovepool were sitting by their sister while Burnclaw was sitting behind her, rasping his tongue over her ears. "There you are." Honeyfrost mewed. "Please hurry."
Owlpaw nodded and set down the herbs in front of Honeyfrost. "What do I do?" Owlpaw asked, feeling exasperation.
Honeyfrost placed her paw on Petalbreeze's belly and Owlpaw watched, trying to see exactly what Honeyfrost was doing. She noticed a faint ripple across Petalbreeze's belly and she leaned in closer to see.
"Owlpaw please step back." Honeyfrost spoke, a slight edge to her voice causing Owlpaw to wince and lean back.
"Sorry." She mewed quietly.
"It's fine, and yes it is time for your kits to be born, Petalbreeze." Honeyfrost took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she began working her paws around to help Petalbreeze. Owlpaw felt useless just standing around doing nothing.
Petalbreeze let out a sudden screech of pain which caused Owlpaw to jump, nearly tripping over her own paws. Honeyfrost let out a sigh. "Owlpaw, please. I need you to remain calm we have to help Petalbreeze. Come here please." Owlpaw carefully crossed the nursery to stand beside her mentor.
"Petalbreeze you're going to have to start pushing. It's going to hurt, but bite down on the stick okay?"
"Okay." Petalbreeze whimpered through panicked breaths. Owlpaw could see Petalbreeze's body tense up as she began to push, letting out another cry that was muffled by the sound of her biting down on the stick.
"Just like that, good work." Honeyfrost praised, keep her eyes focused.
Owlpaw shifted her paw to move closer and without realizing she stepped directly on Honeyfrost's tail. Honeyfrost let out a sharp hiss and jumped to her paws, sending the herbs scattering in front of them. "Owlpaw please!" She snapped. Owlpaw's ears flattened, she wasn't sure she had ever heard Honeyfrost yell before. "I need to focus and I can't do that if you're constantly in my way and stepping on my tail! If you're not going to be helpful then you need leave!"
Owlpaw felt her chest tighten and she turned around, running out of the nursery before she could cause any further issues. "Owlpaw?" She heard a very confused mew from Burnclaw. "Is everything okay with Petalbreeze?"
Owlpaw stopped herself. "Yes, she's fine. Honeyfrost told me to leave so she could take care of it but she's doing good." Owlpaw turned away before the conversation could continue. She finally reached the medicine cat den her paws nearly gave out from sheer guilt. I'm such a failure as a medicine cat. I thought I could do this. If I can't be a medicine cat then what can I do? Her chest became tight and her breathing was out of her control, each breath was shorter than the last as she gasped for breath, her paws shaking like a leaf in the wind.
Owlpaw forced her eyes shut as she desperately tried to take a full breath. I failed a warrior, I failed as a medicine cat, what am I supposed to do? She let her body sit down and she fought against her own breathing continuously for what felt like moons.
"Owlpaw?" A familiar voice spoke, but it was shrouded by the storm of anxiety raging in her head. "Owlpaw." She felt a tail touch her pelt and Owlpaw opened her eyes, it was Rushpaw. She looked towards her brother, focusing on his face to finally get a hold of her breathing. "Are you alright?" Rushpaw questioned, looking incredibly concerned. "I saw you run from the nursery, isn't Petalbreeze giving birth?"
"She is." Owlpaw spoke, her voice faltering. She suddenly felt incredibly exhausted. Her body felt weak and her breath was still shaky. "I just--I kept getting in the way. I had no idea what I was doing and I was only making things harder on Honeyfrost. She told me to leave."
"I'm sorry, Owlpaw." Rushpaw said sympathetically, sitting down beside her. Owlpaw let herself lean into her brother, feeling safer next to him. "Just because you made a few mistakes doesn't mean you're a bad medicine cat. You're an amazing medicine cat, especially after everything you went through on your journey. You saved a life." Owlpaw briefly thought about Nettleheart, the MountainClan deputy. I saved her life yes, but where did all those skills go? Why am I struggling now.
"I'm not a medicine cat so I can't help with that stuff." Rushpaw rested his chin on Owlpaw's head. "But I am your brother, so I can tell you that you are so much stronger than you know. You always have been. You've gone through so much but you always manage to rise above it no matter what."
Owlpaw closed her eyes, she wanted to believe Rushpaw's words, she really did but there was just a part of her that couldn't after what happened in the nursery. She didn't feel like talking about it anymore, and she was sure that Rushpaw could sense that because he also didn't say anything further about the issue.
Rushpaw stayed with Owlpaw in the medicine cat den while Honeyfrost continued to work in the nursery. He got them a squirrel to share, even if Owlpaw didn't have much of an appetite and he kept her distracted by telling stories of his apprentice training. In this moment Owlpaw was incredibly grateful for her brother in this moment. She was lucky to have such loving siblings.
As the sun was starting to set, Owlpaw heard pawsteps and Honeyfrost appeared in the medicine cat den entrance looking exhausted. Owlpaw's entire body tensed and both she and her brother rose to her paws. "Rushpaw, could you please give me and Owlpaw a moment?" Honeyfrost questioned.
"Of course." Rushpaw touched his muzzle to Owlpaw's cheek and mouthed "good luck" before slipping past Honeyfrost and out of the den. Owlpaw felt anxiety burning in her chest again as she faced her mentor.
"Are the kits okay? Is Petalbreeze okay?"
"Yes, they're all okay." Honeyfrost replied. "She gave birth to two kits. A she-cat named Ivykit and a tom named Lightkit."
"Thats good." Owlpaw sighed, looking at her paws. "I'm sorry, Honeyfrost. I-"
"No." Honeyfrost spoke up, Owlpaw turned her gaze back up at her mentor. Her eyes were filled with guilt. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I was impatient with you when I should've taught you the correct way to help a birthing queen and now I've robbed you of that learning opportunity by shoving you out of the den."
Owlpaw shook her head. "When I was on the journey everything seemed to come so easy to me. I felt like I was finally in the right place. I failed as a warrior apprentice and I thought I finally found my way. Then I became a medicine cat apprentice and suddenly I'm struggling so much. I can't remember basic herbs, I'm making a mess and just getting under everyone's paws."
"I'm your mentor, Owlpaw. If you are struggling to learn then it's because I've failed you. I suppose I never really struggled that much when I was an apprentice. Everything seemed to come so naturally to me. I never should've assumed that it would be the same for you. I also thought that since you learned so much on your journey that I wouldn't have to train you as much, I see now that I was wrong. You are incredibly smart, Owlpaw. I need to rethink my training methods with you. I learned by studying, but it seems to me that you learn by experience. So let's work together to train you properly, okay?"
Owlpaw felt a weight lift off her shoulders at Honeyfrost's words. "I would like that a lot." Owlpaw said softly. "And you're not a bad mentor, you are the best mentor I could've asked for."
"Thank you," Honeyfrost purred. "But I'll accept that compliment once you earn your full medicine cat name."
"Okay." Owlpaw mewed, feeling more hopeful about her future. If Honeyfrost and I work together then I truly hope I can be as good a medicine cat as her and Pebblestep.