You're beautiful to me
Romantic Fluff.
Mental health topics and sh!
I am so fucking done with myself.
I want to take scissors and cut my face off.
"Can I get a black coffee please?" A voice asked, waking me up from my trance.
I looked up at the person.
It was a guy with brown hair that reached his shoulders, an Iron Maiden shirt and a leather jacket.
He didn't look much older then me, probably like 25 or 26.
"Yeah, coming right up" I said blankly.
"Hey I know it's not really my business but are you okay? You look like you've been crying"
"Life's tough man"
"I get that"
I made him his coffee and he handed me a note. "Call me after work, we can talk more" he said.
"Thanks..."
"It's Gerard"
"Y/N" I nodded.
"I'll see you around"
When my shift ended and I was walking home I decided to call Gerard.
"Gerard Way the one and only" he answered the phone.
"Hey, it's me, Y/N" I said.
"Oh hi, how's it going?"
"Could be 10x better"
"That sucks, do you wanna talk?"
I stayed quiet for a moment.
Do I wanna talk with someone I barely know?
Am I just desperate?
Yes I am.
"Yeah uh, do you wanna come over?"
"I don't see why not"
"Ok my address is (insert address)"
"I'll be there in 10"
Then the call cut off.
I put my phone away and went inside.
I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the couch.
There was a knock at the door.
I went to open it and saw Gerard with a box of chocolates. "Hey"
"Hi"
"So I got you some chocolate because when I'm sad chocolate makes me feel better" he said.
"Thanks"
"And did you know that the feeling you get when you eat chocolate is the same feeling when you fall in love?"
"I did not know that" I chuckled.
"Ohhh you have a pretty smile!"
"God no, I hate my smile"
"Nooo, don't say that!"
I giggled at his reaction to my words and he smiled.
I opened the box of chocolates and ate one.
"This is so good!" I said, looking up at Gerard.
"Give me one!"
I grabbed a piece of chocolate and put it in his mouth.
There was a moment of silence but then we both started laughing uncontrollably.
I rested my head against his shoulder as I tried to breathe.
He pat my back and left his hand resting on my shoulder.
"I love seeing you smile, you look so so happy"
"I wish I could look in the mirror and feel like that"
I grabbed onto the sleeve of my shirt.
"I don't wanna see you hating yourself" Gerard said, moving his hand to my cheek. "You're amazing"
5 months later...
My body made me angry at myself, I wanted it gone, destroyed and burned.
I was crying and wanted to go away, forever.
I grabbed the blade and went to the bathroom.
I locked the door behind me and sat down on the floor.
I took out my phone and left Gerard a voicemail.
"Hey Gee, I uh, I think my time's over. If you don't hear from me in the next 2 hours, I'm dead. I didn't want it to end this way but I always knew it was coming. So long"
I put my phone away and rolled up my sleeve.
I started cutting my skin and the blood dripped down onto the cold floor.
I cut deeper and deeper until there was nothing but blood visible.
I was hoping that I'd bleed to death on the bathroom floor.
I dropped the blade and waited for my end.
Then I heard someone come into the house.
"Y/N!!" Gerard screamed.
I could hear from his voice that he had been crying.
There was banging on the bathroom door.
"Y/N!!"
It got louder and louder until the door broke.
"I'm not fucking losing you!"
He sat down on the floor with me and pressed a towel on my cuts.
"Gerard I want to go" I whispered.
"Well I'm not letting you, I'm not letting that happen"
He pulled my head onto his lap and stroked my hair. "You'll be okay"
"I'm sorry how it ends this way"
"Nothing is ending, I'm not letting you go" he sobbed. "I can't let you go"
I took his hand in mine and smiled. "You can start over"
"Y/N, I can't go on without you, I love you!"
"I'm sorry" I whispered, right before I passed out.
Gerard's POV:
"Y/N WAKE UP!!" I cried, shaking him. "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!"
I wrapped the towel around his arm as tight as possible and carried him onto the couch.
"Wake up, please wake up"
I just sat on the floor, holding his hand, praying for him to wake up.
I felt Y/N's hand twitch.
"Y/N are you awake?"
"Gerard" he tightened his grip on my hand.
"I'm here" I whispered, letting myself cry. "I'm right here"
I placed a kiss on his hand. "You're okay"
He looked at me. "It hurts"
"It'll be better soon" I took the towel off his arm, the cuts had stopped bleeding.
Y/N looked at the bloody towel and then his arm. "Oh"
"It's okay" I kissed his arm carefully. "You're still beautiful to me"
Y/N sat up and looked at me in confusion.
"I straight up told you I love you, didn't I?" I asked. "It's fine if you don't love me back"
He threw himself at me and hugged me tightly. "Of course I love you"
I hugged him back. "God I thought I lost you"
He cupped my face and kissed me.
"I'm right here, right now and that's all that matters"