I squeezed my eyes tightly. I had not cried in years, not since...no. I could not think of that right now. I had to focus on convincing Jayna not to go. I–I loved her. But I couldn't tell her, not now. It would seem like manipulation, and I would never do that to her.
But I tried to reason with her, and she had a response for each point I laid out. No! I could feel her pulling away from me.
I no longer cared about saving Hannah, or anyone else. I broke down, crying openly, at the thought of this beautiful, bright light being extinguished. I knew for a fact that if she was lost to me, I would not be able to go on. "You're all that matters," I told her. Pleading for her to understand.
"Jayna..." I cried, my voice choked with tears. If she was going to Duskwood, then so was I. I switched from my laptop to the phone, started a query on the Ironsplitter Mines, grabbed some gear, and sprinted to my car. I would get there first.
Back in the group chat, the group had turned a new leaf. Now they wished to convince Jayna not to go. Jessica, of course, led the discussion. She had been a true friend to Jayna all along. If anything happened to me, I was confident that Jessica would comfort Jayna.
Thank goodness, I saw Jayna's resolve faltering with the support of her friends. But they wanted to know what they could do instead. I was prepared with an answer. When I offered myself up as a solo rescue volunteer, they were all quite surprised. I suppose I could not blame them; thus far, I had been hiding like a coward in the shadows, letting others like Jayna take all the risks. No more.
Jayna, my little protector, immediately told me no. Thomas also pointed out that the culprit wanted Jayna, not me. So, he was not as on board as the others, was he?
But Thomas needn't worry. Michael Hanson would not see me. I would slip in behind his back. The entrance I chose was an additional 15 minutes away, but I was still closer than Jayna. As I started to explain my plan, Jayna threw in her doubts. I expected no less. She was still trying to save me along with everyone else.
Once he heard that Hannah could be saved, Thomas, of course, was on board immediately. He was nothing if not consistent in his single-mindedness. The others quickly followed suit. Jayna was conspicuously silent.
I continued my drive; I was going far above the speed limit and making good time. I had a little more than an hour to go. I pulled over quickly for this private text because I wanted my full focus on Jayna for this conversation. She said I was making it sound like goodbye, that I would disappear.
No, I would not disappear. Not if I could help it. If everything went to plan, I would save Hannah and Richy, and then run straight to Jayna.
She was resistant to telling Michael that she was going to meet him when it was me going. She wanted to take my place. She would fight me to the end. I smiled grimly. I expected no less from a natural warrior such as herself. So I tried to reason with her again. How long would it take her to get to Duskwood? I chuckled at her sullen response. Yes, it was relevant. I knew she was hours away–too far.
I tried my best with a few more sentences to show her the logic of my choice. I was about to log off when she stopped me. I felt her concern for me, through this bond we had forged. She wanted to know why it was acceptable for me to put myself in danger when I would not let her do the same.
I took a deep breath and told her my truth. Things that nobody knew about me, about my past. That four years ago, I'd lost everything and everyone. I'd grown used to solitude. I wanted her to know how she made everything better for me.
I laid my heart out. Told her that I was at her mercy. And that I would no longer fight my feelings for her. I felt at peace when she said she felt the same. If I died tonight, I would do so knowing that the best possible person in the world cared for me.