Ariana ⁂
India Arie - "The Truth" played
"Let me tell you why I love ..."
Ari pulled out her journal, ready to write her feelings to Dave which is something she do every Sunday since she never trusted talking about her emotions to anyone else just to have them thrown back in her face
She started ...
09/09/16
Dear David,
This week has been hell! Between school, work, and my mental health, I'm so unstable. Sometimes it makes me want to lean back over but I know how hard I've tried to keep myself from choosing self-harm. Today marks 6 months since I've done anything! I can't tell you how I've survived for so long. I'm just tired.
I've been dealing with these thoughts so heavily ever since he did that to me. It only got worst when you left, it just started to spiral out of control. If you want me to be honest, I give up but all I hear is how my thoughts are selfish and the people that love me are going to hurt the most.
Crazy how it's so many people that love me yet only one people ask me how I'm doing daily and she is not even my blood. I'm not happy in this world. I can't fake it any longer. I've lost most of the people, I love the most. I try to see it from other people's point of view when they fuck me over but it always falls right back on me. I'm just so tired baby. I really am.
But I'm not going to give up! Like you said 'it might be hard but it's not impossible', I'm going to show myself that it's not impossible!
Closing the journal, putting it back in the desktop storage drawer before locking it. Jumping in the shower to get ready to go to church with Mama B
"...I wonder, does he know?"
Salto de Tiempo
Pulling up to the church, I smelled myself to make sure I didn't smell like weed before rolling the windows up
Seeing a text from Mama B saying she was sitting in the front row, Ari grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and started to walk into the church
Collecting stares from the old ladies that stood at the door greeting people instantly grew her annoyance
Finding her way to the front of the church, seeing Mama B waving at her, Ari smiled
50 minutes later
It was finally time for Mama B to get baptized. This was probably Ari's favorite part of the church
She loved seeing them go down in the water and come back up in peace
Ari recorded the pastor asking Mama B to repeat everything he said before she felt a familiar feeling coming from behind her
Choosing to ignore it, she continues to record
"I believe that Jesus is the Christ," The pastor said before pausing to let Mama B repeat
"The son of the living God," The pastor continued before pausing once again to let Mama B repeat
"And I accept Him as my Lord and Savior."
"Kimberly, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, for the forgiveness of your sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit." The pastor said
Salto de Tiempo
Today was her best friend Tae's sister's birthday, even though Ari got a weird feeling every time so goes out with her - she accidentally said she would go to Tae so she had to go
She just told herself that she wouldn't drink nor smoke anything that she didn't roll up or see getting made
Throwing stuff around in her closet; she got annoyed, she was moments away from calling Tae and lying saying something happened but she heard her mama in the other room and she chose to go out instead of dealing with her
Finally deciding to just wear an all-white body suit
Going to the bathroom to do her makeup and hair decided to do a natural beat and throw some curls in the wig she had installed earlier, knowing she didn't have much time
One hour later
Getting a text from Tae telling her he was outside, she grabbed her purse and locked the door
She wanted to drive herself but Tae begged her to let his sister drive them, saying she'll be late
Getting in Tae's sister's truck seeing it was packed with people she didn't know, instantly regretting not driving herself or even saying she's come
She felt her nose wanting to bleed from all of the smells that were mixing
Instead of saying something, she started to breathe through her mouth instead of her nose and marked this as strike one
15 minutes later
Finally pulling up to the club, Ari was the first one out of the car
On the way there she gained a major headache, from the smells to the heat to all of them yelling in her ear, breathing through her mouth ain't help once the dust start to get caught in her throat but Ari just ignored it
Waiting to see if they were going to stand the line or not, Ari saw Tae's sister, Bri they call her, She didn't know her real name
Ari saw Bri going up to the guard and touching him, Ari tried to hide the disgusting face that her face was feening to show
Once again regretting coming out with them
Walking behind them to their section, Ari gained mad respect for how her boss ran his business
Even without ever stepping foot in there while she started working there, her boss ran his clubs 10x better than what she was seeing
But she told herself she deserve to get out and have fun after only ever going to the club to work
1 hour later
It's one aclock in the morning and Ari has been ready to go since they got here, she hadn't drunk anything since they got here but had eaten an edible from Tae and she felt more paranoid
Tae and his sister have been trying to get her to drink with them, but she hasn't been able to go get one herself and she refuses to get one from somebody else's hand
"Come onn, it's my birthday, and your not making it funn" Bri said obviously sloppy drunk
"I'll drunk with you when I can go get one" Ari replied trying to be reasonable
"We got drunk right heree, the men keep buying them you just won't drink themm" Bri said getting in Ari's face
Ari was getting annoyed
She told herself she wasn't gonna smoke or drink but she was getting tired of being pure pressured
So she decided that she was gonna drink one shot to be left alone, getting up she felt lightheaded from the edible
She didn't understand why it was hitting the way it was, usually, the edible that she eat hit but not to where she had to guide herself to think
Finally walking up to where people crowded around the drinks, Tae shove her one brown shot before rolling his eyes
Ari ignored him knowing how he is when he gets drunk and got ready to throw the shot back
"Okay are y'all ready?" She heard Bri say before she heard everybody echo "yeah"
Throwing the shot back, Ari immediately started to feel more out of it or drunker than she expected
She felt more woozy or drowsy than she did before she had taken the shot, so she just decided to sit down
1:30 am
Ari was so nausea and confused about why she was feeling the way she was feeling
She had a loss of balance, visual problems, feeling more and more sleeper by the minute, and had started to hallucination
She was going to call a Uber but Tae talked her out of it saying that she was too drunk to leave by herself
Tae and them were having a much nicer time than Ari was having, she'd seen them take more than 7 shots each in the last 30 minutes
Feeling a flash on her Ari sightly looked over seeing Tae, Bri, and a light-skinned man talking while pointing at her
Ari felt weird about that so she made sure that her location was on for Mama B and texted her asking was she up
It wasn't long before she started to feel unconscious, she was fighting as best as she could before Tae walked over to her with his phone in his hand laughing
Seeing a flash go off from his phone towards her, wanting to say something but was unsuccessful before of the unconscious feeling that was running throughout her body
3:03 am
They were finally ready to leave and Ari could barely walk, one of the strippers named "Rain" noticed that and offered to take her home
Tae quickly grab Ari and had words with Rain before telling her they were leaving, walking outside Tae walked Ari to a car that was parked next to Bri's car
With the same light skin man from inside the club
Getting a bad feeling Ari tried to push herself into Bri but failed after Tae pushed her into the man's back seat and closed the door
Ari tried to open it before learning it was on the child's lock, feeling defenseless Ari laidback and continued to fight her sleep
4:02
They've been on the highway for a minute now and ever since the two brow-skinned males got in the car they have been touching her
Ari felt more and more defenseless as time moved on, they felt as though she could defend herself and they loved it
Ari hadn't moved since they got in the car before she saw some bright headlights coming toward the left of the car
Since she was on the right side of the car, Ari curled up and hoped that it wouldn't cause too much damage to her
Ari closed her eyes as she felt the car go flipping, feeling the pain from her head hitting different places
The unconsciousness took over, a blackout.
__..._..._..._TBC•Sorry for any mistakes
A/N: My fault for the long chapter, at first "Betrayer", was a three to four-part thing but I'm trying to get it down to a one to two-part thing cause I don't want y'all to get bored of it...Ohh & Vote or I won't update again till next year PWM.