Hi, so I know I said I wouldn't really do a harem thing, but this one isn't a serious thing. Maybe some serious elements and stuff, but we're mostly here for jokes. Plus I doubt many care since it's Helltaker.
Anyways imma get started.
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"Ah! What the fuck?"
A small surprised shout rang out through the house. The cause of the noise waking up suddenly like he just had a bad dream, only it wasn't a dream.
He shook his head thinking it was just his fucked up head messing with him.
Getting up he goes to do his normal routine for every morning.
After getting through that morning while trying to get the thought of that dream out of his head, he stops in front of the mirror to look at himself and think.
"That was a weird dream."
Oh right I haven't introduced anyone yet.
This young man is Zane Taker. He's an 18 year old student attending Kuoh Academy in Japan.
Zane wasn't your basic bitch anime character, but he wasn't the one with protagonist hair either.
Simple black hair, around 6 feet tall, he does keep the fitness up as well as his fit.
And one thing this guy has that others don't is a dream. One single dream that he refuses to let go of.
A harem full of demon girls.
Now don't mistake him. He's not like those fuckers at school lusting over titties every second if the day, he's a true man of culture, he'll get the real anime titties.
That brings him to the dream he had before waking up.
His dream was something about going to hell and meeting these girls. That's all he really remembers from it though as remembering a dream is like trying to beat Halo 3 on the hardest skill with all the skulls on without dying.
Anyway, he looks to himself and checks his fit. He has to keep the school fit at a hundred all day.
"Ight. Time to head out. I'll make my dream come true one day. That's a promise." He said to himself as he grabbed his stuff and left the house.
Zane lives alone. Typical backstory, grew up in orphanage, it didn't get burned down and he never got hired for the position of son. Didn't bother him much, so he just moves on with his life.
After a short journey, he makes it to the school.
Kuoh Academy was huge, but once you get your bearings, you learn the layout fast. That and he knows how to get around in his own way... No he doesn't have magic he just knows all the shorter routes and even some maybe not recommended ways of getting around.
Zane walks through the gate and makes his way to his classroom. When he gets there the first thing he sees is the trio being their normal selves.
"You three still fuckin around to find out?" He asked as he walked over to his seat.
"Least we're trying asshole!" One of them shouted.
He only knows Issei's name, the rest he's too lazy to learn.
He smirked.
"Hmph. I don't try. I'm not looking for that at the moment. I have a much bigger goal." He told them.
"Oh yeah, like what?" Issei asked.
"My goals are far beyond your understanding."
Issei then smirked and leaned back.
"Heh, say what you want, but guess which one of us has a date tonight? That's right, me!"
'Oh yeah, that girl he said asked him out. Good for him I guess.'
Yeah apparently Issei met some girl after school last week and she was the one to ask him out.
"Makes sense for you though. Statistically, you were bound to find one with low enough standards." Zane said shrugging.
They just ignored him after that and Zane was happy for that to be the case.
He just sat down and waited for this boring day to go by.
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.
.
"Break, finally."
Zane stood up and stretched. Sitting in class for an hour makes you stiff and not in the fun way.
He decided to just blindly wander around the school. If he was lucky something interesting would happen.
Low and behold something interesting did indeed happen, that being the trio of perverts having their daily scheduled beating from the girls in the Kendo club.
"Seems all is right with the world... Guess I'll just chill here." He said sitting down under a tree. "Feel like some edgy fanfic character just sitting here, but I'm already here and I'm too lazy to get up again."
He sat there and started dosing off for a minute.
.
.
.
After what felt like five minutes, he heard movement next to him and peeked to see who it was.
The girl that is considered some sort of mascot for the school or whatever it is, he doesn't pay attention.
This girl was short, around half his height, she had white hair which immediately screamed some sort of important character and gold eyes. Or yellow, whatever colour you prefer to say.
He doesn't know her name yet, he just hasn't asked and doesn't plan to. She never introduced herself and if she wants to stay as the unnamed girl then she can.
Apparently this is her quiet spot and he invaded it, but since he's quiet and sort of chill, she leaves him be.
They talk sometimes, but mostly about school work. Although, there was the time he mentioned his demon girl dream and that got an amused smirk out of her.
That's the most anyone can get from her.
This girl is quiet. Like the definition of silence. Sometimes he barely hears her and when he looks up suddenly she's there.
Anyway, enough details.
Zane looked over to her.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Any luck on that dumb dream?" She asked in her usual monotone voice.
"I'm workin on it."
.
.
.
"Right...... By the way, I want to ask something. You're friends with that perv,
right? I don't know how you are, but whatever." She asked pointing to Issei who was with his buddies.
"Makin a lot of assumptions right now. What about him?"
"I just wanted to let you know not to let your guard down around him, not because of him specifically, just that he could end up unintentionally dragging you into trouble."
"... Ok so let's pretend I understand what you're saying...... Actually I never asked your name have I? Just noticed." That was a clear lie.
"Koneko."
"Cool. Anyway, why would you warn me of anything? Not annoyed, just curious. What danger could Issei get me in?"
"I'm just trying to help. Now I need to go."
With that, she left.
"... So her name is Koneko... Cool... What was that warning about though?"
He shrugged it off and got up to go to his class.
The real reason Koneko warned him about that is because of a few things.
Issei might potentially have some hidden power in him and someone might try to kill him to get rid of it.
She's worried that if he's with that perv, then he might die too. He'll be targeted as a witness.
She likes Zane. He's a nice friend to have. He doesn't bother her too much and is just fun to have around.
Koneko won't admit it, but she always deflates a tad bit when she comes to that tree during break and doesn't see him there. Just makes the break boring.
Anyway. Back with Zane, he got back to his class and sat down. He just sat back and waited for the day to be over.
.
.
.
.
.
"Thank fuck that's over... So now what do I do?"
After contemplating what to do after school rather than just going home, he found himself outside the school gate with no plans.
"Guess I'll walk around town and wait for an event to start up or something."
So he started walking in the opposite direction of his home.
Not much was really going on today. He eventually found himself in a fast food place, there he ran into Issei and with him was that girl.
They were indeed on a date.
He didn't want to bother them so he just acted like he never saw them.
After that place, he walked out to see an interesting sight.
Two guys were beating the ever loving shit out of eachother, one of them was doing some sort of breakdance fighting and the other was dodging like an America when someone threatens to call an ambulance.
"This is probably the most entertainment I'll ever see."
He put his bag of stuff down to watch.
It was a pretty good fight too, they both seemed evenly matched too. That is until the guy in the casual white suit picked something up as a weapon.
"Wait isn't that my bag?"
Looking down he sees the bag is indeed not there.
Before he could do or say anything, the bag was swung right at the other guys face throwing him back and ending the fight.
He got up, they exchanged a few words and after that the guy with the eye-patch left.
Everyone went off after that except for Zane and the other participant in the fight.
Zane was just looking at where his bag used to be. He swears the bag just vanished with everything in it after that hit with it.
"Hey, kid. You alright? You know the fight's over right?"
"... Did you have to use my bag as a weapon?" Zane asked.
The guy realised what Zane was talking about.
"Right... That was yours, was it? Sorry about that kid."
"Uh, it's cool. Doubt I could do anything about it anyway. Sick fight tho. You look-"
"Let me guess, I look like Yakuza?"
"Actually I was gonna say you look like that fight took nothing out of you. Bet you could have done that for another ten minutes."
"Oh... Well, I need to get going. See you around kid."
"Yeah, see you."
They both decided to head their separate ways.
Zane wasn't too bothered by that bag thing, he was just dreading having to explain to the head of the student council, Souna, why all of his school stuff some of which belong to the school has just vanished.
Anyway, soon Zane found himself in the park. He stopped at the fountain and just sat there. He looked up to see it was getting quite dark.
Then he heard voices.
'Good thing they aren't in my head.'
He listens to hear a familiar voice.
Issei. He must be here with his date seeing as he hears another voice. Zane was out of school that day for personal reasons. He is so glad that Souna is able to pick up on signs that say "don't pry into it." She only asked one time why he wasn't in on a specific day each month. After he gave her that look, she let him be and just simply wrote it down that he likely won't be in on that specific day.
Anyway, Zane was bored and decided to just sit and listen to their conversation.
Then, she asked a question that sent red flags everywhere.
"Would you die for me?"
"... That's not how you ask for a second date." Zane said quietly.
He got up and turned to see a girl that looked like the girl Issei was with flying. Fucking flying!
Without a word she hurled something that was glowing at Issei and it went right through his chest.
"Ayo!"
She turned to see Zane when she heard him.
"Ah, you're this one's friend correct?"
"Still makin a lot of assumptions!"
"Whatever, I can't have a witness, so I apologise for this."
Before Zane could react, the same thing she threw at Issei was hurled at himself and it did the exact same thing it did to Issei. The light weapon went right through his heart.
"Sorry. Think of this as a "wrong place wrong time" type of thing. It was nothing personal at all." She said before simply vanishing.
Zane fell backwards and couldn't move. He didn't have any strength in him to move at all.
However, even in death, he smiled. All because he had one thought in mind about dying.
"Heh... Jokes on you, I... get the..... opportunity.... for my dream. Fuck it... Hell, here I come!"
In the next few seconds, Zane felt all of his strength leave him as he felt tired. With that, he slipped away.
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.
.
Just as he had passed, a crimson light was seen from the treeline. Three figures came out from the trees. The one with red hair, the leader, went over to Issei to do her thing.
The other two were a blonde guy and Koneko. She looked around and froze completely when she saw the other body.
Zane. Her human friend that she liked spending time with.
She didn't react, just stared.
"Everything alright?" The blonde guy asked her.
"... No... We should have been here faster."
She just turned away and went back to her leader.
She didn't pay much attention to what happened, her focus was on her friend.
Just as the whole resurrection thing was done, Koneko pointed over to Zane's body before they left.
"Oh... He was your friend, right?"
Koneko just nodded. She wasn't in tears, she didn't know why, probably still in shock from it.
Or maybe she just doesn't believe that he's gone forever. For whatever reason, she has this feeling in her that's telling her he will be back and soon.
They left and got back to their club room where they do most of their work and stuff.
The leader, Rias from the school, looked to Koneko with regret in her eyes.
"I'm sorry we couldn't get to him any faster."
Koneko shook her head.
"It's... fine... He's probably down there getting his harem full of demon girls." She stated, resisting the urge to even smirk at that.
"Wait, down there? You think he's going to hell?"
"Rias, he wants to go to hell."
She decided to leave it at that.
Even though Koneko did have that feeling of him coming back eventually, she would absolutely miss him.
He was a perv at times when he wanted to be and although she hates perverts, he was one of the good ones.
She decided that she should just head home for the night rather than dwell on it.
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Zane was sort of confused at the moment. He thinks he's in hell? The red certainly gives that impression, but he's not seeing a lot of fire. Then again, if I was Satan, I wouldn't want my house to be on fire permanently either.
Also, it's not as hot here as he expected it to be. It felt nice and cool.
"Ahem! Next soul."
His attention was drawn to the opposite end of the huge room. The voice sounded like a woman's voice. Was this a reception area? Hell has a reception area, at least it's organised, Zane can't stand being unorganised.
"Are you going to stand there or what?"
The voice sounded like it was growing impatient.
"Shit, sorry." He said before walking forward.
When he got to the other end of the room he was at a desk. There was a woman standing on the other side. She had long white hair, red eyes, horns on her head, a tail behind her and finally she was wearing a very sharp looking suit.
'New fetish unlocked. Girls in business suits.' He thought as he looked at her.
"Now let's see... Zane Taker. Shitty way to die, those Fallen Angels are always casing problems." She said looking at a sheet of paper. She had this sort of hot British accent and it was nice to listen to. She had one of those voices that was satisfying to listen to.
Zane was focused more on her than anything. Just her entire being.
This was it. This was a demon girl.
"Didn't know hell was so organised. Which is good cause I hate when something isn't organised right." He said looking around.
"Seems we have that in common then. Now. First, introductions I suppose." She cleared her throat. "I am Lucifer, the CEO of Hell."
"... Like... Actual Lucifer? Cool... Now why are you telling me that? Wouldn't it be quicker to just send my soul off?" He asked her.
That's when she nodded with a smile.
"That is exactly what I was going to do. Good to know you catch on quick, you'll need that." She went around the desk and stood next to him. "However, you caught my eye. Every soul I've ever gone through does the same thing. They're surprised to be in Hell, either accept it sadly or beg for second chances, and that's about it. Some don't sound as desperate, but they're the same regardless."
She poked a finger at his chest. She was a head shorter than him, but she still gave off this aura of being a dominant woman. Zane couldn't sense power in any way, but he still felt like this woman had a lot of it.
Challenge accepted, Zane says.
"You, however, gave no such reaction at all. It was obvious to you that you had been sent to hell, yet no panicking, no pleading, nothing. If I had to guess, I'd say you want to be down here. You want something, don't you."
He decided to challenge her.
"What if I do?"
She laughed a little. Then turned to go back around to her side of the desk.
"If you do and you are as daring as I believe you to be, then I offer you a challenge. One that, if you win, ends in you getting your life back."
"First you had my curiousity, now you have my erection."
Lucifer paused at that.
"You... You mean attention, right?"
"I know what I said."
She just stared at him. Shaking her head she continues.
"Anyway, you can take on a challenge that I have created specifically for you. A series of puzzles with a "reward" at the end of each one." She then goes into thinking.
"Something wrong?"
"Yes, I've been thinking of a name for this challenge and I can't think of o- Wait! How about we call it the HellTaker Challenge?"
"... Is that just using my second name?"
"Oh look at that we've started already!" She snapped her fingers and Zane teleported to a random place in hell.
He looked around and saw a lot of shit. Rocks mainly. They were in his way.
"Demon girls here I come."
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And that is chapter 1. Probably shit as usual, but nothing new.
Anyway, imma fuck off. Peace.