LIZZIE IN LOVE AND DEATH >>>>>>
⚠️TW:⚠️ self-harm
------------------------------------------
I retreated to the bathroom, leaning against the door as soon as it clicked shut.
I couldn't do this. I-I just couldn't.
Bracing myself, I took the few steps needed to walk over to the sink. Putting my hands on the edge, I looked at myself. A mess. My skin pale, my hair messed up, my eyes bloodshot. How was Lizzie so nice to me?
I didn't deserve it.
I seriously thought about just not walk back out, but I could only imagine Lizzie's disappointment if I didn't trust her. So no matter how much I wanted for Lizzie to just forget about this, I'm not a little kid, I understand that some things have to be done.
So, I slowly stripped out of my sweats, leaving me in my sleep shorts. The bandages were peaking out, and I could see a hint of red where they had bled. Yeah, I should probably change the bandages.
I'll do it later. It'll give me some alone time to collect my thoughts.
With that, I picked the pants up off the floor and walked over to the door. I had no clue what was going to happen on the other side, but no matter what, I'll get through it, I always do.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the door and peeked my head out. Lizzie was sitting in the position I left her in, just with her phone in hand. She clearly knew I was going to need some time, and that it might take a while for me to come out.
As soon as she heard me, her head shot up and we locked eyes. "There you are hun, come over here", she motioned in front of her with a smile. She didn't look down at my legs as I walked over, something I appreciated.
She was taking the time to look me in the eyes, as if to show me that it was okay, that nothing about her love for me was going to change. I climbed on to the bed on slightly shaky legs, and as soon as I was positioned in front off her, Lizzie kissed my forehead, looking at me with loving eyes.
"Thank you for trusting me baby, can I take them off?" She asked, motioning towards the bandages. I nodded shakily, not really trusting my words at this time. Carefully, she unwrapped my legs, putting the blood-stained bandages to the side.
I heard her cover up a gasp at the sight, and her eyes were swimming with tears.
"I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could have been there for you", she whispered.
Lizzie's pov:
I couldn't believe she was doing this to herself. I knew she was struggling, but I clearly didn't see just how much. With her empty eyes, every time she would wince when I was unravelling the bandages; my heart shattered.
I wish I could have been there for her, I wish I could have helped her through these dark times. There were so many. Layered on top of each other, like paint on a canvas. I tried not to react as I knew it would make her feel bad about them, but I couldn't help the little gasp that escaped me when I first saw them.
"They look pretty clean so I'll just change the bandages okay?" I suggested, not wanting her to be in more pain than she had to. She just nodded again, looking completely deflated. I gave her hand a squeeze before going to get the first aid kit I knew was in her bathroom.
Returning with it, I put it on the bed next to her before opening it and finding some fitting bandages. "Is it okay if I put them on?" I asked Nova softly, not wanting to overstep some barrier. She nodded shakily, still not saying anything.
"Can you sit on the edge of the bed for me?" I requested and she moved to the edge. I unraveled one of the bandages and began wrapping it around her leg as carefully as I could while still making sure it was tight enough.
She clenched her jaw as soon as I started wrapping, but that was the only indicator she was in pain. "I'm so sorry honey, here-" I said taking her hand and moving it to my bicep. "Squeeze it if you need to okay?" I said, hoping it would help a little.
She nodded, showing she understood, and I got back to work. As I worked, she ended up squeezing me a couple of times, and I was there to reassure her every time that everything would be okay.
"All right, all done", I smiled as I wrapped the last little bit. "Thank you", Nova mumbled. "Of course baby, thank you for trusting me", I answered with ease. "Can you maybe n-not tell Robbie?" She asked me quietly.
"If that's what you want, then I'll respect your wishes. Although, I know that he'd like to know at some point. I'm sure he won't make a big deal out of it", I smiled. "Okay. Thank you."
"It's no problem at all. Now, do you want to stay in bed for a bit? Or do you have to be at the barn?" I asked her. Crap. What if she had to be at the barn? "It's okay, I have the morning off, I just have to do a quick trip sometime today, Luna has a day off", she explained.
"Do you want to get up?" She shook her head. "I'm still a bit tired so I think I'd like to relax for a bit longer." We then got into bed and Nova laid her head on my chest again while lazily throwing an arm around me.
"Before you fall asleep on me, if you ever feel the urge, please tell me, we're going to get through this together okay?"
"But-"
----------------------------------------------
Hello my beautiful people!
How are we doin' today my friends?
I'm okay I guess, we have this trip with my school, where we're going to hike up a mountain and sleep outside which I'm really not looking forward to.
So yeah, it's currently Tuesday for me rn, I'm just writing this beforehand so that I can just post it when I get back. Oh, another thing, we're not allowed to have our phones with us which is a load of bullshit.
So yeah, I'm not in the best mood, but please remember to take care of yourselves guys <3
Love, Frida xx