One month later...
I glanced up at the neon sign over the small Hawkins bar as I set my bicycle stand down, resting it next to my father's sheriff's van. He was already inside, most likely sitting in one of the booths the Hideaway offered for our meeting. I crossed my arms over my chest with a shiver, my breath easy to see with the winter temperature of Indiana. The grey puff jacket I wore did barely any good to block out the cold, worn thin over the years. I bent my head down to fiddle with the zipper again, pulling it up and down as if it would change anything.
Nancy and Jonathan's recording of Doctor Owens had reached the public, and every time I turned on the television, Hawkins Labs was the ongoing topic. Whoever they had sent it to had kept all supernatural events and reasonings out of the story, turning the tale of experimentation and monsters into a chemical leakage. That was what the town of Hawkins came to easily believe, that Barb's death last year along with Bob's and Diana's had been the result of toxic asphyxiation. With no proof of an actual bear attack, the "truth" spread like wildfire.
That wasn't the only gossip being passed around. The knowledge of my and Steve's relationship was everywhere, and there were even adults I had talked with once or twice coming up to ask me about it. I didn't know whether to blame it on the fact his family was known by almost everyone or that the small town just relished in knowing everything about their neighbors. Maybe it was a bit of both.
Besides him and Charity, I hadn't seen much of anyone else since the funeral. Nancy and Jonathan never left each other's side that I knew of. Will, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Max were always riding around town. Eleven was growing restless in the cabin, feeling much more like herself, and her rambunctiousness was rubbing off on the cat. Perhaps I was allowing myself to relive the past weeks to clear my head... or to give my dad and Doctor Owens more time to speak alone. He had promised to tell me what would happen after that night, but after Hawkins Labs was shut down by the government, it had taken a little bit of time. Then, I was dying to know, but now, I was stalling.
With a huff, I finally left my bike's side, pulling open one of the bar's twin glass doors and entering the building. I found Owens immediately, him giving a small tilt of his head as a welcome, and I beelined to the booth along the side of the wall. I plopped down on the cushioned seat beside my father, who had a thin grey envelope sitting on the table in front of him.
"The lady of the hour- welcome," the doctor greeted me, much cheerier than in our previous encounters. He gestured toward the envelope with a hand. "Go on, you'll want to see this." I glanced at him warily before picking it up and opening it, pulling a blue sheet from inside. It was a birth certificate, but it was the name 'Jane Hopper' written along the first dotted line. "Looks quite official, doesn't it?"
"Quite," I agreed, setting it back down on the table and closing the envelope. This was Owens's deal with my father for saving his life. It should've brought more joy out of me to see my sister share a familial name with me again, but it didn't. It was like I already knew it was meant to lessen whatever blow he was holding back. "Just in time for the holidays. I'd say Merry Christmas, but I don't know if you celebrate."
"I don't, but appreciated," he smiled before pushing the plate in front of him aside. "Now, for our deal... not so holly jolly."
I knew it.
"What are you talking about?" my father asked gruffly, and my chest tightened. I never told him about our conversation in the lab after he and Eleven had left the room. Doctor Owens gave a little bounce of his head, his lips pressed together.
"Jane Hopper... that was easy. The Lynn Ives situation? Not so much."
"Elaborate," I pressed, setting my hands on the table and leaning forward. The doctor gave a quick glance around the room, mostly old people and day drunks, before doing the same.
"The Department of Energy was already documented for having run-ins with Project MKUltra," he started, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. "The government knows about the Terry Ives mishap, the main details only with a few... but more know about the little magic girl who came out of it. Lynn Ives just... disappeared off the radar, that is, until last month." Owens took a manilla folder from his side of the booth and set it between my father and me, twice as thick as the one he had shown me during our first meeting. "Every reported test, every reaction from them is in here. We're talking birth records, MKUltra, and now, last year. The story on the news is that a gas leak shut down the labs. In here, you're linked to it."
"You've got to be shitting me," my father swore, pounding a fist against the table angrily. I shook my head in disbelief, bringing my hands to my face to rub my temples while simultaneously hiding from peering eyes. "This was all you could do? A lousy essay?"
"There was no way to just erase Lynn Ives off of the earth," Owens tried to reason with him. "Believe me, I tried. The full report I wrote as the last scientist of Hawkins Labs is in there; you can see for yourself. As far as the government knows, there is an assumed connection between Lynn and Rachel, but nothing confirmed. The paranormal activity within the lab caused a similar reaction, and following the shut down it is to be monitored."
"Monitored," I repeated, lifting my head to look at the man. "Not monitored here, I'm assuming." The doctor raised his eyebrows for a moment in agreement. "Where? By who?"
"There are a lot of things I can't discuss in public, and that falls under that category," he admitted. He reached to pull the manilla folder back, but the older Hopper set a hand on top of it warningly. Owens retracted his own, sighing to himself before continuing while my father rifled through the papers. "Our government... not all of it is too fond about what's gone on in Hawkins. If the wrong heads start turning toward you- or... or your sister? Ugly business. Luckily, I'll be there alongside you."
"Explain how that's lucky," my father muttered under his breath, glancing up from the folder with narrowed eyes. His tone made my blood run cold. What I was seeing right now wasn't a normal outburst of anger. This was fiery rage barely being held back.
"I want this to be settled as quickly as you do," Owens reassured the man, gesturing with his hands defensively as he spoke. "We'll ensure that Rachel Hopper has never been connected with Lynn Ives. In fact, the team I'm working with is willing to do pretty much anything."
"Anything?"
"Within reason," Owens answered me, "which is pretty much more than you could imagine. You're an actor, correct?" That sentence caught me off-guard, and I blinked a few times as I tried to regain myself.
"I was," I answered, making sure he heard the past tense. "I mean- I dabbled, for sure. A little here, a little there. I haven't gone back to it since last year." That was when I had taken up cheerleading, and sure that was an act itself, but after everything, it wasn't what I did anymore. "I'm sorry, why is this important?"
"There are... connections," he said slowly. "For your abilities to be monitored, it would mean leaving Hawkins. We have some pull in that Hollywood industry. In exchange for your silence about the labs and your cooperation, you get stardom. A television show? On it. Movies? Might take a second but manageable. Name it, and I'm sure there's something we can do. The power of the name is bigger than you could ever imagine, and Lynn Ives could be hidden from the public for good. You get the dream you always wished for, and I'll be able to do the required monitoring and hide the data in some CIA or FBI abyss."
"This is insane," my father grumbled, leaning forward as I laid back in the seat, my brain spinning. "This is my daughter. She's not some government puppet or a way for you to clear your name! She stays here, end of discussion."
"Unfortunately, Chief-o, this isn't your decision to make," Owens said grimly. "In six months, Rachel turns eighteen, and her situation falls right out of my hands. There's luck here with her legally still being considered a child- and even that protection is starting to fall apart. These people we're trying to hide you all from aren't afraid to get their hands messy. If we play it safe, I could be done monitoring her before then. Back in Hawkins for summer holiday."
"If this is some threat, you can tell the government to screw-"
"I want a week," I piped up, earning a frown of disapproval and a smile of relief. "One week to clear my head." Owens was pleased with the answer, but I wasn't finished. "You said anything within reason, so we'll do that. Eleven... Jane can never be involved. Never. My entire family stays out of it. I want a tutor to help me finish my classes, and I get to walk at Hawkins High for my graduation. Whatever reason we come up with for my disappearance I'll go along with, but I get to graduate."
"Reasonable indeed," he approved. I ignored the burning glare from the older man beside me. I hadn't said yes, but my ultimatums needed to be set in stone. Eleven was finally going to get a chance to live the life she deserved, and as her sister, I felt responsible. It was her time to leave the past behind. If I could keep her safe and happy with just a small sacrifice in my life, I had to do it... and I'd find out who I used to be.
"Rachel... we're going to step outside for a moment," my father growled slowly. My eyes widened for a split second, but I said nothing and began to slide out of the booth. Owens's eyes flicked back and forth between the two of us warily.
"So... I'll just..." he struggled to find words as my father stood and shoved the folder back to him. "I'll call in a week."
"Sounds swell!"
"Dad- shit," I cursed, quickening my pace as the man beelined toward the back alley doors instead of the entrance. He didn't bother to hold the door open for me, and I barely missed getting hit as I followed him. "What the hell? Dad!" The older Hopper turned toward me furiously, his angry and quick breaths visible in the chilly air.
"What do you think you're doing?" he questioned me, pointing an accusing finger at my chest. We were the only ones in the alley, not even a security camera watching the beginning of our heated discussion. "What the hell was that in there?!"
"Think I'm doing- are you serious?" I exclaimed back in a similar yet quickly growing anger. "You heard him! They know about me, about Ellie! Something has to be done!"
"Owens could be lying to try and save his own skin!"
"He rewrote a birth certificate for Eleven!" I countered. "Saving his skin would be... I don't know... it wouldn't be that!" My father clutched his fists angrily, taking a few steps back to pace between the alley walls. "He isn't asking for me to leave forever. I do this once and we can all live normal lives!" My fingers were running through my hair as I struggled to find the words to calm him down. "Dad, come on!"
"You're being reckless!"
"Better reckless than hunted by the government!"
"You're not thinking!"
"That's all I'm doing right now! We can't ignore who I was... don't you get that?"
"You think I don't get this?" My father was quick in returning to my face, his eyes narrow. "You think I don't see that you want to know what happened to you before you left the lab? I don't doubt that you would do it to protect El, but I know you'd open that can of worms if the chance came!"
"Well, it's my can of worms anyways!" I shot back, and he huffed angrily. "It's my history! You can't keep hiding it away from me anymore! You can't treat me like a little kid when devastating consequences are waiting for me!"
"News flash!" the man yelled at me, raising his arms over his head. "You are my kid!"
"I wasn't always." The sentence came out quick, and my father paled even faster. His jaw dropped about an inch as I stood across from him, my eyes burning with angry tears. I had finally rendered him speechless. "I never tried to revoke being a Hopper, but before I had you, I had my mother," I told him, struggling to hold back a coming vocal crack in my voice. "I didn't even know she was alive... or, or that I have an aunt. I knew nothing... but you did, and you hid it from me!" My rage was coming back, but I didn't care. A storm of emotion was surging from me. "The moment I started to question things, you kept quiet! How long was that box about me and Eleven hidden as you did your own private research? Did you not trust me? You've been lying to my face the entire time!"
"Rachel..."
"The entire time!" Tears were streaming down my face as I grabbed at the pendant necklace from under my jacket and pulled it out for him to see, the chain tight against my neck. "My entire life, I thought this was all I had! I don't even know what's from Lynn anymore! My powers have apparently been here the entire time, and I don't know what I'm doing... and you knew!" I pushed hard against his chest to move the man away from me, shaking my head at him.
"Hey!"
"You knew!" I sobbed. "And you lied!" My emotions were causing my vision to go blurry, but I was able to make out the man's hand slowly reaching toward me. My head jerked toward it in seconds, and I felt blood drip from my nose as I froze it in place in the air. "Don't," I told him darkly, my bottom lip trembling. My father glanced between me and his hand, his brows furrowing as he struggled to move it.
"That's new," he commented dryly, but I didn't give a response. The older Hopper looked over at the bar's back door before hanging his head with a sigh. "I could try to give you an apology, but I know it wouldn't mean much. I could tell you my reasoning behind it, but it would sound like an excuse... I didn't make the right choice. I know that now. Did I do it because I thought it would protect you? Absolutely... and I wish after everything that it could've helped at all."
I stared at him silently, still holding him in place with my powers. The steady droplets had turned into a trickle, and I was jutting out my chin so that it would fall on the cement rather than my clothes. My father bit the inner corner of his lip as he took another breath, meeting my eyes again.
"I've failed you, Rachel," he admitted, and I gave a shaky exhale. "I've failed you more than I ever should have. I let myself go after... after..." He couldn't say Sarah's name. The man eventually gave up, trying to hold back a sniffle of his own. "When I saw you in that hospital bed last year, I swore to myself that I wouldn't let you get hurt again. You were all I had left. I was just trying to figure out El when I realized the connection... and I knew you were in danger. I couldn't bear to think... I can't lose you."
My hold over him dropped at that, and my father gasped as his arm fell back to his side. He clutched it against his chest while I wiped the blood away from under my nose. My hands were shaking. There was a part of me that didn't want to accept what he was saying, but there was another part of me that welcomed it. It wasn't by blood, but he was still family. If there was anything I knew about who he was before Sarah's death, it was that he would do anything for the people he cared about. Maybe he had done it for me when I hadn't seen it, but there was still so much just left behind.
"I want to be better," my father continued, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. It was one of those few times that he didn't seem to fight back tears in front of me. "Not just for Eleven, but for you. I don't want to be the dad who just sits back until life gets really shitty and then decides to do something about it. I want to fix..." He gestured between the two of us with his hand. "... this. I know that's asking for a lot, and given my history, I'd understand if you-"
"I'd like to," I told him quickly with a sad smile, something he returned with a shaky but celebrating chuckle.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," I answered emotionally, my head bobbing up and down as I nodded. My father wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I felt relief wash over me the moment I rested my head against his shoulder. For a moment, the world felt a little smaller, and it was as if I wasn't drowning.
"Your mom lives just outside Hawkins with your aunt," my father said slowly. I glanced up at him. He didn't look too fond to be telling me, but it wasn't out of selfishness. I could see at least that. "Whatever you see, whatever you learn... it's not going to make you feel better. But if doing this provides closure or... or something, I'll take you." The older Hopper spoke with so much conviction that my urge to agree immediately faltered. Here he was, offering exactly what I wanted, and I was stalling. I took a breath before I grit my teeth, removing all evidence of doubt from my face.
"Yes."
♢♦︎————————♦︎♢
The doorbell gave an eery ring the moment I pushed my finger against the button, echoing in my ears after I stepped away despite only touching it for a second. The makeshift stone path from the main road had been a farther distance to the house than I anticipated, hidden away within the woods. The blue outer walls were stained with dry dirt, making the red accents of the front door stand out like a sore thumb. The porch seemed to be in a much better condition than the actual building, and as I continued to wait for someone to answer the door, the creaking wooden boards under my feet made me wonder if I would fall through before seeing the owner.
I could feel my grip on the old newspaper photo growing sweaty from my unease, and I swapped it to my other hand before giving an involuntary shake from the cold. My father had parked his police truck just on the side of the road while he waited, most likely taking a nap or messing around with the radio station. He had offered to come with me, but I declined. This was something I had to do by myself. The sun was maybe an hour away from setting for the night, and I was ready just to turn around and try again a different day until I saw the lace covering the door window from the inside get lifted. An older woman glared at me through the glass in annoyance, some middle ground between my age and my father's. Despite that, several of her features made me feel as if I was looking in a mirror.
"You went a long way to try and sell something," she told me gruffly, her voice somewhat muffled by the barrier. I was taken aback by the abrasiveness, blinking a few times trying to compose myself. "Aren't you freezing? Go home."
"I..." There was no chance for me to speak before she pulled the cover back down, leaving me alone again. I glanced down at the photo in my hand, staring at the image of my mother before gritting my teeth and looking forward again with more determination. "Your name is Becky Ives, right?" My attempt to project my voice came out more like a yell, but it served its purpose. I heard the movement of locks behind the door, and the woman opened it a few inches to narrow her eyes at me.
"That all depends on who is asking," she told me warily. My heart was pounding as I lifted the cut photograph up to her eyesight, watching her gaze flick between it and my face. "How did you get that? Is this some school project to you?"
"I..." There it was again: my lack of words. I didn't know why the question wouldn't just pop out of my mouth like I wanted it to. "A few weeks ago, there was a girl who came by here, right? The thing is... well, I found out she's actually my sister and- and, um... sorry, I'll restart everything. My name's-"
"Lynn," the woman breathed in disbelief. The door swung open slowly as she lost her hold on the handle, both of her hands trembling as she gently cupped my face with them. Her eyes, once narrow and cold to me, were examining every inch of my face as if she needed to memorize it. "How? Terry... we thought we'd never see you again!"
"I've been in Hawkins this entire time," I explained, struggling to catch my breath as I choked down my own tears. "If I had known..." My aunt shook her head and stepped out on the porch to hug me, almost squeezing all of the oxygen out of my lungs as if she needed to prove that I was real. "Is... is my mother in there?"
Becky Ives loosened her hold on me, biting the inner corner of her bottom lip while she released a sigh. "She won't recognize you," she said, and it felt like something had broken inside of me. Was it hope? The fact I even was this close to her after all these years was a miracle enough. "She doesn't recognize anyone. Losing Jane... something happened when she tried to go back."
I furrowed my brows in confusion, and my aunt took my hand and led me inside the house. The wallpaper was yellowing from age, a few framed photos decorating the hallway to the living room. The television was on, but I couldn't make out the murmured voices. My eyes caught on a small photo to my left, and I let go of the woman's hand to look at it. My mother looked the same age in it as the newspaper's article photo, caught mid-laughter next to her sister with a baby in her arms. I felt the familiar lump in my throat come back to me as I stared at the little girl, her hair pulled up into two tiny high wispy pigtails.
"Giving you away was the hardest thing we ever did," Becky admitted. I glanced over to her as she crossed her arms against her chest. "The reporters wouldn't stop coming. You were... the media was obsessed with the idea of what you could do. Brenner wanted to keep you at the lab full time for your 'safety.'"
"You met him?"
"On several occasions. Never liked him for a moment. I tried to convince Terry to back out, but she..." There was a murderous look in the woman's eyes. "He had his claws too far deep in her for it to mean anything. I guess sending you away proved that she couldn't be controlled anymore... so we lost Jane. I almost started to believe that she didn't exist until she came knocking on the door."
I nodded silently, taking a final look at the photo before following my aunt into the living room. No, she made her way into the room... I took one step in before freezing in place, my stomach dropping. There sat Terry Ives, her braided hair lacking in color as she sat motionless in a reclining chair. If you didn't look hard enough, you would've assumed that she wasn't breathing at all. My mother's hands were bony, resting ever so carefully on the chair's armrests while she stared off in the direction of the small television set. Her eyes were halfway open, caught in a daze that was clearly holding her prisoner from reality.
"I did try to warn you," Becky reminded me as she sat by her sister's side, not at all phased by the predicament. Maybe she was, but it was clear that the horror that caused me to lose my breath was normal. The woman motioned for me to join them, but I couldn't move. "Terry, we have a visitor. Lynn came home to see you."
"Rainbow room," my mother murmured absentmindedly.
"She... does she know we're even here?" I asked my aunt. She pursed her lips together and lifted her shoulders as a nonverbal answer of uncertainty. "What happened to her?"
"I wish I knew," she said to me defeatedly. I slowly approached my mother, crouching down in front of her, but she didn't even blink. Her eyes were glazed over and her head hung about an inch. "The sad truth is that this is better than how I first saw her in the hospital. All I know is that she went to find Jane on her own and came back like this."
"Four fifty."
I didn't need to know more to know who was responsible: Brenner. I clenched my hands into fists angrily, feeling the newspaper photo crinkle before my nails punctured through the aged paper. This was his handiwork. Even after his death, he managed to hurt my family. How had Eleven taken the news that our mother was permanently scarred?
"What did you want me to tell you, Rachel? That your mom is alive? That she can't even take care of herself and that your own aunt has to spoon-feed her?"
My father's words from the night we closed the Gate echoed in my head, and I felt sick. He had warned me, but it had completely slipped from my mind. He had seen her in this state, known for who knows how long. Would my mother have suffered like this if she hadn't hidden me? Or was Eleven so important to Brenner that he'd erase any trace of family regardless?
"They can't do this again," I whispered, more to myself than anyone else in the room. Seeing my mother in this state should've swayed my decision about going with Doctor Owens, but it cemented it instead. I didn't know what I would do if my father was targeted next or if they tried to bring Eleven back in their custody. I had to end it... for everyone's sakes. Becky looked at me in confusion, but she didn't press. Instead, her brows furrowed as a realization struck her.
"You're the kid Jim adopted." I bit my bottom lip and nodded, shifting from my crouched position to sit on the floor. My aunt's eyes drifted as the dots began to connect. "I'd heard you weren't his through blood, but I never thought... how many times have I possibly walked past you when I'd go into town? If I had known..."
"Maybe that would have been worse," I admitted, my hand reaching up to rub my necklace's pendant between my fingers. "I just found out. If Brenner had known during his search for Eleven..." I paused at that. Doctor Owens seemed well aware of who I was when the agents took Nancy, Jonathan, and me in. He knew everything. Was the connection made about my identity when Eleven escaped, or was two and two put together after the man died? My stomach churned at both ideas. Perhaps my father had already thought about that. "... Safer this way, I guess."
"I see a lot of him in you," Becky told me, her lips pursing in a small smile. "That Hopper attitude, we'll call it. Jane has sparks of it from what I can tell." The smile faded, and the woman's gaze hardened once more. "Time will only tell if she can heal. Time and love... but I'm sure you give as much as you can." I sighed to myself, giving my aunt another nod. "I only hope you're receiving it back from all the loved ones in your life."
"I am," I said back, but it sounded more like a lie despite not being one. "I mean... this isn't coming out right, I just- Hawkins is safe now. I should be thrilled, but... I'm not. I keep thinking that something worse is coming and that I won't be strong enough to protect everyone. It's not my job, and no one's asked me to do it... but if shit goes down, all eyes turn to Ellie. She's just a kid."
"And so are you," she stopped me. I suddenly found the blood stains on my shoes more interesting to look at. "
Lynn... Rachel." I flinched at the use of my name, the way Becky said it with such care and compassion. "I know that feeling of fear more than I like to admit. That helplessness? It's much too late for me to move on; there isn't really anything for me to move to if I'm honest. You have good people in your life. If they can't convince you that you're enough, I don't know how to tell you to fix that."
Hesitantly, I let go of my necklace and pushed my hand out to the empty hallway. Becky glanced over her shoulder in confusion, but I saw her body tense as the shadows seemed to melt and sway. The manipulated darkness snuck up the walls, moving eagerly toward the windows and ceiling light, but I dropped my arm as warm blood dripped down from my nostrils. Everything dissipated, and I slid my index finger across my skin to catch the consequences of my power usage before it could reach my clothes.
"The government knows I exist," I told my aunt as she stared at me with wide stricken eyes. "I don't know how many people. Doctor Owens- he worked at the lab... if I go away with him and do a few tests, he's gonna make sure that everything disappears and my family stays safe. I can end all of it."
"That's a fool's wish," she disagreed. It was harsh, but she meant every word. "You'll get some time, but nothing goes away forever. That lab is a curse. It spreads like mold, and it will take every piece of you if you go in with golden hopes."
"You don't think I should go."
"It doesn't matter what I think if your name is known to the military," Becky said. "We live in a broken world. It's all about those goddamn Russians now. You'd be a weapon, or worse, a lab rat all over again. I wouldn't put it against them to dissect you, figure out how you tick. They'd go after Jane to see if she's like you, then Jim for hiding you. Anyone who knows about you would pay a deadly price." I felt a shiver go down my spine. I must have paled, and my aunt fidgeted with her fingers. "You'll learn everything you've wanted to know, but sometimes... sometimes we shouldn't know that much."
"Three to the right." We both looked at my mother, whose head seemed to droop more toward the television. "Four to the left."
"You can't come back here again." My heart stopped briefly at my aunt's words. "It's not that I want you gone; I'd do anything to still get to see you. It's just too risky, especially if you're being watched. That target on your back would get a lot bigger... and I don't know what I'd do to myself if I lost my niece again. I'm sorry."
Becky meant everything in that apology, and as much as it hurt, she was right. Every choice, every action I did had to be thought out. For Eleven, for my father, for Steve, and now for my father. I reached up to my neck and unclasped my necklace, letting the chain pool in my hand. Carefully, I put it on the tranced woman, adjusting the pendant so that it was centered on her chest.
"Breathe."
"This was all I've had of you," I told her, not caring if she truly heard it. I just wanted it spoken. "When I was younger, I thought maybe you just didn't want me, or that you were trying to find a way back. I'm sorry it took so long." My mother's eyes didn't move, and I struggled to push the lump down in my throat. "I want you to know I'm home. I'm here, Mom." Still, nothing.
All I heard was a ringing in my ears as Becky escorted me out, giving me a final hug before closing the front door. It was dark, and I could barely see the path of stones leading back to my father's car. He was leaning against the outside of it, a cigarette between his fingers glowing bright every once and a while. The older man's head lifted at the presumable sound of my approach, and I could see the pain he felt in his face. Not his pain, but pain for me. He dropped the cigarette on the gravel and crushed it under his boot, swiveling his foot a few times. The moment I felt his arms wrap around me, I choked out the sob I had been holding back the entire time."
"I know," he told me gingerly, his hand reaching up to rub the back of my head protectively as my tears soaked into his jacket. "I know. It's gonna be okay, I swear it's gonna be okay." While he tried to comfort me, I felt my eyes burn angrily through my tears. Leaving that house for the first and final time... I knew that I couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever. "You're gonna get through this, I promise."