Psssssst! Emilie.
I open my eyes at the sound of my name, looking about. It's morning, early since Grace is still in bed and she is usually one to rise with the sun.
Psssssssst!
Quit it. Another voice says. They don't match Sierra's or Grace's voices. They are familiar though, almost as if I am talking to myself and someone else. But who and where are they? Carefully, I peel away from Grace and slid off the bed, tiptoeing towards the portrait on the wall. I shift it aside, punching in the code for my safe. My Glock stares at me for only a second before I snatch it up, edging towards the door with careful steps. I keep my back against the wall as I open it, slip through, and then close it lightly behind me.
The apartment is quiet, and the expensive-looking furniture is deserted. Nothing seems out of place to how we left it last night. Nothing suggests a break-in. I double-check the entrance and the door is still locked. I check Irelee's room and she's still asleep. Sighing with relief, I enter the kitchen and start the coffee. Grace will be up soon, and I know she's going to need a cup before she's functional. I feed Billie, put on some non-caffeinated tea for Sierra, and then go back to brush my teeth.
Psssst! I hear again and pause with the toothbrush in my mouth. Okay, I'm just going to pretend as if I didn't hear that. Yes, that's precisely what I am going to do.
Great, now look at what you've done. You scared her.
Ignoring the voices, I finish brushing my teeth and wash my face. As I dry my hands, I hear them again. Now that that's over and done with, how about we go for a run? You've been lazy with our body.
Okay, that sounds like Emma. "It's my body if you've forgotten." I roll my eyes at her remark. She's such a character. Gotta love her. "Are you in my head?"
Yes. I told you we're always here with you. Oriane answers, and she's so polite.
"Oh, that's cool." It isn't cool. I am freaking out. Am I going insane? Is this another dream because it can't be reality? I don't usually have voices in my head! "So, you're like my intuition?"
Or conscience.
"Does that mean you guys know everything I know? Feel everything-"
Yup! Nice going last night, by the way. DADDY Emilie! Aye! Aye!
I slap a hand on my face, cringing from what Emma said and equally embarrassed on her behalf. "That was mostly Oriane. Oriane, can't you like shut her up or something? Maybe swat her like a fly. I don't know."
Sorry, love. I can't.
She tried, but I'm a goddess. Untouchable.
I'll find a way to shut her up soon. In the meantime, I had fun last night. Oriane says, and she's so polite about it. Thank you for that. It makes me smile. Unlike somebody!
I blush and put my toothbrush away. "You're welcome. So, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Last time you scolded me for trying to access your abilities, but I haven't done anything since so...?"
Sierra is pregnant.
She says, and her voice is light with excitement. "Yes," I say, keeping my voice guarded. "And?"
Congratulations!
My blush deepens. They sound so genuinely happy and excited. Even Emma and she is hard to get a reaction from. A good one, at least. I wash my face, hopefully washing away some of the heat in my cheeks too. "Thank you. But seriously, what's going on? Why are you here? Haunting me."
You have access to my abilities now, Emilie. I'm here to show you how to use them before you hurt yourself or someone else.
"Oh, okay." I grab the hairbrush and start combing through my hair. "Can we start with the projecting?"
No. That's the least important. We're starting with your hearing.
I pause, my hand frozen halfway through a brush stroke. "Why? It doesn't even work half the time. I still must strain my ears to hear shit."
Not anymore.
Just as she says that I can suddenly hear everything. I can hear the water rushing through the pipelines, and the cars honking in the busy traffic seven floors below. I can hear my heartbeat, my blood rushing. The shallowness of Grace's breathing as she sleeps and the unique pattern of her heart beating. It was steady, calming, just like the rest of her. I distinguish Sierra's heartbeat because it's faster and her breathing is deeper. Two other heartbeats steal my attention, beating as fast as lightning, and then there is one that is beating slower than they are.
The brush falls from my grip, hitting the counter before landing on the floor as I slap my hands over my ears. My head is snapping in all different directions as the sounds come to me. The sudden noise makes me wince. I can feel an impending headache brewing.
Focus on my voice, Emilie. Filter through the noise.
But I can't. Everything is just so loud. The toilet flushing in the apartments next to ours. Moaning across the hall. Cleaning service two doors down. Another car honks. The elevator dings before the door open to unload a stampede of footsteps. Grace's heart beating. Sierra's heart beating . The twin's hearts beating. Irelee's heart beating, and her breathing. The blood rushing through my veins. My breathing...
I groan. "Make it stop..."
The pain makes me stumble and I feel as if I'm going to pass out. I grip the counter to steady myself. "Grace..."
No, no! Oriane protests. No Grace. You need to do this on your own. You can. Just focus. Focus on my voice.
"I can't hear anything! There's too much noise."
The shower goes off in the floor above us and I swear it makes my ears begin to bleed. Water is still rushing through the pipes at a deafening volume. The street lights change and it's way too loud. Who fucking knew that would be so loud? The cleaning service is in the hall with carts and the wheels against the floor are like nails dragging against metal. Grace's alarm goes off and that's the final hit that makes me topple over and starts throwing up in the sink.
And it keeps getting worse.
Emilie, focus! Oriane tries again.
She wasn't ready. Emma tries to tell her.
I wasn't ready. I agree because fuck. "I feel like I'm dying."
You're not dying. Just relax and try to breathe. Focus on me.
I try but something else catches my attention. Grace. She stirs in bed. Her heartbeat changes, quickens, and then slows down again. She's searching for me but then relaxes, kissing Sierra's face. A baby is crying in the other apartment building across the street and I wanna seal it's mouth shut. Someone farts and someone else doesn't like it, screaming their displeasure.
I slide to the floor, panting. Cold sweat is beading on my forehead as I struggle against the noise. The chaos.
Focus.
The elevator dings again before they open. Footsteps drum against the hallway. Doors open and close. Carts wheel pass. The cleaners spray and mop and sweep. Coffee pours into a mug. Someone moans Samantha's name. Who the fuck is Samantha?
Grace slaps her alarm quiet and slips out of bed. She's coming towards me. Her footsteps aren't light but they aren't heavy. Her heartbeat is steady, her breathing is steady. Calming. Everything about her is calming. She yawns as she comes, letting me know she's still a bit tired but she has to work. I have to work. I can't go to work like this.
Maybe you should've fed it to her slowly. Emma suggested.
This is me feeding it to her slowly. This isn't full access. She sighs.
"It gets worse?" I fret. "I going to die."
I'll take over if you need me to. Oriane assures and I'm glad.
Grace comes closer. One step, two steps. Her hair falls over her shoulder, falling into her face. She pushes it back and reaches for the doorknob.
Or you can focus on her. Yeah, that works too.
I peel myself off the floor just in time for her to open the door. Our eyes meet through the mirror and I can see the questions brewing in them. I feel Oriane taking over just a bit and I let her, needing the help before I go insane.
"Good morning, baby," I greet, resuming to brush my hair.
"You called for me." She says walking up to me and rubbing one of her eyes.
"Hmmm. I thought I needed your help but I got it. Did I wake you? I'm sorry if I did."
She comes forward, shaking her head. She slips into the tiny space between me and the counter and rests her head against my chest. I smile, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her forehead then her nose and she tilts her head up for me to kiss her lips. I did.
Awww. That's cute.
I ignore Emma, still focusing on Grace's heart beating. It changes ever so slightly now, slightly racing. Her breathing changed, too. Slightly more laden. She wraps her arms around my neck and I lift her so she's sitting on the countertop before me. I kiss the top of her head again. "You okay, baby?" she nods, breathing me in. Her arms tighten around my neck.
"Come home tonight. You hear me?" She pulls back slightly to look at me and the look in her eyes almost brought me to my knees. I keep my hands around her waist, my fingers doing circles on the small of her back.
"I will," I assure her and she hums at me. Her head finds my chest again and I use the brush to brush her hair away from her face. She smiles, showing a shallow dimple on one of her cheeks. I hold her for a minute, just breathing in the sweet scent of cinnamon and apples.
Tell her we love her. I hear Oriane say. "I love you, Baby."
She smiles. "I love you too, Oriane."
I gasp. "You do?"
She nods. "I do. You're amazing."
"You're amazing," I kiss the side of her face next to her ear and she flinches, covering it. I do it again and she makes a weird sound between a laugh and a scream. She's ticklish with her ears and it's hilarious. She drops her arms from around my neck, trying to cover both ears at the same time. Laughing at her, I pull her back against me, but she's still protecting her ears. I kiss her shoulder a few times. "Get ready or you're going to be late."
She salutes, then slips off the counter. She spins in my arms so she's facing the mirror, and reaches for her toothbrush.
Sierra's heartbeat changes, stealing my attention. She's heaving as she pushes the covers back and hops out of bed. Her steps pat against the floor as she makes for the bathroom. I open the toilet, then the door just in time as she rushes in, burying her head in the toilet without even a glance from us.
I turn back to face the mirror, seeing Grace frown. She switches her toothbrush from her left-to-right hand, offering the now-free one to Sierra. Sierra reaches for it, almost as if she knew Grace was going to do that all along.
I finish brushing my hair, pull it into a ponytail, and then sit on the floor next to Sierra. I hold her hair while my other hand is rubbing her back. She flushes the toilet and sits beside me when she's done. The sound makes me cringe, and I resist the urge to cover my ears.
Do I need to still take it down a notch? Oriane asks.
Yes, please. I can't go to work like this. I'm going to die. Or, you can like... copilot until I get the hang of this?
I can do that.
"Well, that's always fun," Sierra says with a frown, wiping her mouth. She turns to look at me and forces a smile. It doesn't reach her eyes. "Good morning."
"Good morning,"
She gives me a real smile in response and rests her head on my shoulder. She looks up at Grace. "Good morning, lovely."
"Yuck!" Grace gives her a disgusted face, shaking off her hand. She steps over us, heading for the shower. I poke her on the ass as she passes and she yelps.
"Hey, Gracie, leave the water running for me?"
"Sure."
I get up and stretch my hand to her. She grabs it and I help her up. She goes to brush her teeth and I head for the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. Grace joins me after a while, dressed in her uniform, her hair pulled up into a neat bun. She wears a light shade of makeup and nude colour lipstick. She walks up to the counter and pours some coffee to go then slides into a stool around the island. I share a plate and slide it to her.
She glances at her watch, takes a few bites then gets up with her coffee cup in hand. She comes towards me and kisses me lightly. Her eyes peer into me and I can see the worry in them. "I have to go but I'll see you later?"
"I'll be here."
She hesitates, her gaze still lingering. Hoping. Begging. "Come home."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Oh," she breathes. "About that birthday dinner next month?"
"Yeah, are you okay with soloing it? I don't like the idea of leaving Sierra here alone with Lee."
With one last nod, she reaches in and kisses my lips. "Not a problem. I love you. Bye."
"I love you. Have a good day!"
She just smiles and disappears out the front door. I sigh, my eyes dropping to her half-eaten breakfast. As I reach over to snatch it, it levitates into the air and starts floating down the hallway. Some creepy ass shit but I smile at it, knowing it's only Sierra.
Grabbing a glass of orange juice and a bottle of water from the fridge, I follow the floating dish to our room, seeing Sierra sitting up in bed. She has the covers thrown over her legs as she sat back against the headboard. She snatches the plate from the air and starts eating Grace's breakfast. I take the juice to her, resting it down on the bedside table along with the bottle of water.
"Please stay in bed as much as possible," I tell her, my hand finding her bump, caressing it.
"I'll try."
"Good girl." I kiss her stomach before I'm heading into the shower.
The next half hour is just me getting ready for work and sipping my coffee while doing it. The morning was loud and everything around is still distracting but it's manageable now so I must make do with it. At fifteen to seven, I go to Lee's room and wake her.
Grace, Sierra, and I had a long conversation about how we were going to make things work with Sierra being on bed rest. We wanted to take as much pressure off her as possible and give Irelee the chance to start mingling and socializing with kids her own age while we're at it. So, we found a summer program to get her into for four hours of the day; eight to twelve, then two hours of Extracurricular activities. Between the three of us, we suggested a bunch of things and in the end, she chose gymnastics, something we didn't consider at all but we move.
She groans when I touch her and roll onto her other side. "Baby, it's time to get up," I tell her kissing the side of her face.
She rolls over to face me and our faces are pressed up to each other. She opens her electric green eyes to look at me then giggles. I smile at her. "Good morning, sleeping beauty."
"Good morning, Mama. You look nice today."
"Thank you, sweetheart." I brush her hair back before I reach for her duvet, peeling it back. "Come on. We gotta go."
She nods, getting up. I help her clean up in the bathroom, then help her get dressed before I leave her in the kitchen with breakfast to finish getting ready.
Snapping my watch onto my wrist, I stand before the mirror, peering at myself. Though my jacket is missing, I wear a black suit with a navy-blue top underneath. My hair is pulled back into a low bun which highlights the shape of my face and brings the focus to my eyes. I turn away from the mirror and left the bathroom, snatching my jacket from the bed and shrugging into it. Sierra gawks at me and I blush, looking away from her as I slip into my shoes.
"I forgot how hot you were wearing stuff like that." She confesses. "Gracie is going to flip when she sees you."
I scuff. "She better control her damn self."
"Or you can control her." She smirks at me.
"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" I grab my things from the ottoman at the foot of our bed, then make my way to her, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead.
"I love watching her get put into her place."
"Your day will come again and when she's putting you into your place, I'll just let her." She gasps at me, but I just silence it as I kiss her on the lips. "Bye, love."
Within the split of a second her demeanour changes and she's nervously gripping the sides of my jacket. Her eyes reflect her fear as they peer into mine. She didn't have to say a word. I knew exactly what she felt. "I'll be careful," I tell her, brushing her hair back. She leans into my embrace as I cup her cheek. "I'll come home."
"You better." She moves back, looking up at me. "Have a good day."
"Thank you. Bye," I say, backing up towards the door. "Call me if you need anything."
She smiles and draws a heart with her fingers, blowing it towards me as she whispers "I love you."
As I whisper back to her, I catch it and slap it onto my chest. "I love you."
The door closes softly behind me as I leave the room. "Lee?"
She meets me in the hall. "What happened?"
"Go say bye to Mom. Hurry, run."
"Okaaaay!" She runs to our room, opens the door, disappears inside and a minute later she comes out with a wide grin on her face.
"Did she cry?"
"Yes!"
I grab her things from the couch and held the front door open as she came. I gave one lingering look inside as I close the door behind me and left.
***
I came home that evening and every other evening for the next six weeks. On time and never late. Convincing Sierra and Grace that nothing was going to happen to me was hard, especially since my job was a dangerous one and trouble always seem to find me. But after six weeks they were relaxing a bit. I was relaxing a bit.
We spent this past weekend moving into our new house. It was mostly move-in ready, except for our nursery. That was a blank slate since we wanted to do it ourselves. Irelee begged to paint her brothers a mural and I caved at her request because I'm a pussy and she has me wrapped around her fingers. So on Saturday, all four of us did a pretty terrible job of painting a safari-style mural on one of the walls. It really didn't look that bad. I'm being dramatic and Irelee feels proud of it so it's a win. On Sunday, Grace and I tried to fit up the cribs. We followed every step in the manuals and at the end of the day, we still had no crib. Just a bunch of impossible crib parts and a wasted day. So today, somebody from the department store is going to come set them up for us. I can't wait to see the finished room.
Andrew finds my side as I exit the elevator. "Late again LaRue... And is that a hickey on your neck? Have you been busy this morning...?"
"Suck my dick, Hall,"
"No, thank you. I don't want your wives to kill me. Especially that little brunette. She's feisty. Bitch shot me-"
I halt, pivoting on my heels towards him as I pull my gun from its holster. I point it at his forehead. He didn't see it coming and take a step back. "Whoa, LaRue..."
"Call her a bitch again and I'll shoot you, too. Go ahead, call her a bitch."
"I'm sorry. Jesus, are all of you this overprotective?"
I lower my gun and shove it back into my holster as we enter my office. "You clearly haven't met Grace properly if you think I'm overprotective. Do you need a refresher?" I put my things down and turned to him.
"No thanks."
"Why are you pestering me? It's early."
He hit his palm against the brown folder in his hand. "Can't I just come and say good morning to my partner?" I gave him a bored look and after a second, he sighs. "Captain needs us in the briefing room."
"What for?"
"We're about to find out. Come on."
Pushing myself off the desk, I follow him out of the room, down the hall and into the elevator. We took it down to the second floor and push our way towards briefing room 4. Everyone turns to stare at us as we enter the room. Most of them went back to what they were doing immediately but Harvey keeps his eyes on me.
"It's nice of you to finally join us Agent LaRue."
"Yes, I know I was missed but never fear, the queen is here." I take a seat beside Andrew at the table and reach for the folder in front of me. Harvey just shakes his head and flips the monitor on. My heart stops. She's alive?
"Angelina Kozlov. Female. Age thirty-two. Most of you may remember her from Houston a few months ago. She has been wreaking havoc across the country this past weekend..."
She's alive?
Nothing Harvey is saying is registering in my brain. I'm still stuck on the fact that she's alive and wreaking havoc on the country. Why? What does she want? I'm pretty sure Harvey said it and I would've heard if I was listening. But I can't listen. I'm still stuck on the fact that she is alive.
"LaRue?"
I blink and refocus my attention on Harvey. His face is all concerned. "You still with us."
I nod and he continues. This is the most silent I've been in a briefing. Harvey knows it, Andrew knows it. The entire room of twelve agents knows it. The clock on the wall ticks. Nails jump against the polished oak desk. Harvey's voice lecture on. My heart is racing. The clock is ticking. Chairs pivot around and roll back and forth. Bored mouths devour jelly beans from the bowl in the centre of the table. It's just a normal day for them. A regular high-profile case for them but for me this is personal. This is a threat to my family.
"...find her and bring her in." He finishes.
"Yes sir." They answer in a chorus, pushing back their chairs and leaving the room.
I didn't move and when the room is clear Harvey speaks. "You have a job to do LaRue and it isn't to sit there and look pretty."
"I'm not doing this case," I tell him going straight to the point.
He closes the folder he is studying and meets my eyes. "Excuse me?"
Shifting in my seat, I meet his eyes. I try to rephrase my words in my head, but either way, they would equate to the same thing. "I'm not doing this case."
He leans forward, elbows resting on the tabletop as his narrow gaze scrutinises me. I feel exposed before him, naked. "Is there a specific reason?"
Yes! My women are worried sick about whether I will come home alive every time I leave for work. I have two babies on the way and a six-year-old daughter who I must be there for. I have no room to be reckless.
But I don't say any of that. "There's just a lot going on right now. We moved this weekend. Irelee is still trying to adjust to school and with the adoption and everything, I don't think I'll be able to give this case the attention it needs."
He leans back in his chair. Studying me. "Emilie-"
"Sir, I can't." I push my chair back, standing up to pace the room. I can feel a part of me just itching to jump at it, but that part of me, the reckless part, I can't let her win. "I can't do Houston again. I can't put my family in danger."
"Agent LaRue," he starts in his authoritative voice. "Your family is already in danger. You are in danger. Sierra is in danger. You think skipping this case is going to solve that?"
"With all due respect, sir, you have the entire Bureau at your disposal. Over a thousand agents. I'm just one among that. You don't need me."
"I need you! You are the only agent I need, Emilie. Everyone else is replaceable, not you. If Angelina is alive for the same reason, you and Sierra are, then I need you more than ever. She's coming after your family. She's coming after my daughter and right now you're the only one I have that can stop her, so I need you."
I shake my head. "I'm sorry sir, I'm not going to go knocking on trouble's door. They already have so much anxiety about me not coming home one day. I can't put them through an emotional rollercoaster right now."
"Well, at this point I'm not asking you, Emilie." He pushes his chair back and got up, pacing the room as well.
"You can't force me to do a mission I don't want to do."
"I can if you're the only agent I have who's qualified to do it."
"That is not fair!"
"This is what you signed up for, LaRue."
I stop, coming face-to-face with him. Our eyes challenge each other. Many people wouldn't dream to challenge Harvey or go against his orders. I dare to do it. I always have and right now it's probably the stupidest thing for me to do but I do it anyway because what's stopping me? I'm not afraid of him, I'm not afraid of any of them. It's the other way around really and God, I wish they'd finally fire me. The look on Grace's face, when she begs me to come home in the mornings, is just heartbreaking. Sierra never says it but her eyes say it all. Always have and those images are stained in my brain and refreshed every day. I can't make their anxiety worse by jumping at this case. We're in a good place right now. There's a balance. We're calm and happy. I can't ruin that. I won't.
"Then I quit." I take my gun and my badge, placing them on the table. "I didn't sign up for anything. You came to my house when I was barely an adult with your team of agents and helicopters flying all over the place like I was some damn criminal. You held a gun to my head and told me that I would be thrown in jail for the rest of my life if I didn't accept your job offer. YOU pay me five million dollars a year to be YOUR prisoner. I didn't sign up for this. Fuck this!"
"You can't quit, Emilie." He says with frustration.
"Harvey, sometimes I would love it if you were on my side. If you stood up for me more."
"I do the best that I can for you. To protect you when I can." He looks at me with an emphatic frown. "But you are still bound by a contract and breeching that is jail time. Something I can not save you from. You know this."
"How can I forget." I swallow the lump in my throat. "Captain, please,"
He rubs his forehead with frustration. "Emilie, I don't get why you're so... reserved. I thought protecting Sierra would be your main priority."
"It is my main priority." I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Fuck. I'm going to say it. I sigh. "She's pregnant, sir."
He stops to glare at me, making me take a step back. His eyes are dangerous, daring me to repeat what I just said about his daughter. His baby girl. "I beg your pardon?"
"Uhm," my hands find my pocket, shaking slightly. I take another step back. "We were going to tell you sir ...".
"You were going to tell me? How far along is she?"
"Twenty-eight weeks but could be more. It's complicated."
His jaw clenched and I see him form a fist at his side. I round the table, putting more distance between us, knowing he is going to kick my ass. He always told me not to mess around with his daughter. Marriage and family have always been important to her and he wanted to ensure that she got that in a stable secure relationship.
"You hid this from me for damn near seven months?"
"She wanted to be the one to tell you, sir."
He comes towards me and I back away, stumbling against a chair I didn't see. Fuck.
His eyes are dangerous. "What did I tell you, LaRue?"
"Don't sleep with your daughter?" he sent me a glare. No not that? "Uhm... if we're going to start a family, get married first."
"And are you married?"
I shake my head. He clenches his jaw and the next thing I know he's in front of me. He reaches for me and I duck. He grabs at me again and I evade, making him grab my jacket. I shrug it off and he toss it to the table before reaching for me again. His movements are quick, practised but they weren't predictable. I hate that. I block him as much as possible but I wasn't fast enough this time. He caught hold of me, slamming me against the wall. His forearm presses against my neck. I gulp.
"Are you planning on marrying her?"
"Y-Yes, sir."
"When?"
I swallow, my breathing uneven under the weight of his intense glare. "Soon."
"That is not an answer." He removes his hand and I'm able to breathe again. Taking a few deep breaths, I grab my jacket from the table and shrug it on again. I keep my eyes on Harvey. He looks stressed, just as stressed as I feel.
"You have to do this, Emilie." He looks at me and his eyes are begging. "None of you are safe. Those kids aren't if Angelina is still out there. You're the only one who can protect them and you have the power to so do it. For your family, for yourself." My throat aches as I look at him. He's right. He's completely right and I wish he wasn't. "I'll give you the rest of the day to think about how you're going to approach this. Tomorrow, we leave for Houston."
"Yes, sir."