Somehow things got worse after they got better. Valeria had woken up with a killer hangover and from a nightmare. She had woken up screaming, and though Ray tried to help, it worsened. She wasn't afraid of Ray or how he was around her, but rather that she vastly underestimated Cory's ability to let her go. She realized it in the dream. Cory wouldn't let her go just because she slept with someone else. He wouldn't be able to handle it. The "if I can't have her, no one can" mentality was vividly shown to her in her worst nightmare.
Ray hasn't come near her in three weeks, and Valeria thinks that might be for the best. She can't risk it. Cory would kill not only her but him as well. She can't take that risk, not when Evie needs Ray. Evie has been giving her a purpose in the last several weeks, helping her with school work. She has realized that she wants to return to teaching but knows she can't do it here, not if Cory wins the election. She will have to leave town or even the state. It might be a smart idea anyway. Valeria can't risk Cory getting to her, especially now.
"Valeria, did you hear me?" She is pulled from her mind and turns to look at Dr. Evenson. She nods slightly but still can't wrap her head around it. "I must admit, I didn't see this coming."
"You and me both, Doc," Valeria replies while sitting on the annoying paper on the exam chair. "You told me this couldn't happen."
"No, I said there is a very good chance this couldn't happen. There is a difference." Doctor Evenson is sitting on the rolling stool, looking at her with extreme interest in her eyes and a severe expression. "I am not going to lie to you, Valeria. This is very dangerous, not just for you now."
"I know," Valeria mumbles and puts her head in her hands in frustration. "If Cory finds out, I won't be able to get away from him."
Dr. Evenson scoots closer and places a hand on one of Valeria's when she lowers hers. "If he finds you, you will lose this one, like you lost the other two. You understand that, right?"
Valeria blinks back tears and has to look away. Her leg is shaking, something she does when her anxiety takes over. "Listen to me, Valeria. There is a way to keep Cory away from you and your child, but it is incredibly risky."
"I won't let you lie for me, Doc," Valeria states, knowing already what she means. "Besides, he fell for one document. He will fight the second, and with that whole team of lawyers on his side, I won't stand a chance, and your whole career will go up in flames."
"Valeria, I think if we can find proof he is not the father, then he won't have the legal right to take you or the child." Dr. Evenson states with emphasis.
"What exactly are you saying?" Valeria looks up at her.
"I am a doctor, Valeria. I know the statistics, and I also am human and not blind." The doctor is studying her, but Valeria holds her ground. "It has been nearly two months since you were with Cory, and that is two months you have been living with Ray. I ran the tests, and Cory only had a small chance of being compatible with you, and that is after all the invitro that you tried. With Cory, you had a one in ten million chance of getting pregnant with medical help. However, I also told you that your chances were greater with someone else, though it is still a small chance." She stares Valeria down. "Is there any chance this child is not Cory's? Is there a chance that it is Ray's?"
Valeria shakes her head. "No. We were nearly black-out drunk, but even then, we were safe, and it was just once."
"How safe?" The doctor questions. "Because I know you aren't on anything and every other protective measure has a failure percentage." She hesitates when Valeria looks away from her. "I must admit, I didn't expect to be right about you sleeping with Ray." An edge of humor in the doctor's tone makes Valeria turn back to her with a glare. "Statistically speaking, abused women aren't quick to jump into bed with another man for quite some time."
"Well, what can I say, doc?" Valeria whines in sarcasm and slight anger. "I don't seem to be following statistics."
"There are ways of checking DNA on unborn infants, but in your case, it is extremely dangerous, and I don't advise it until the child is born." The doctor has become serious again. "If there is even the smallest chance that this child is Ray's, isn't it a chance worth taking?"
"No." The word slips out of Valeria's mouth in a half-second. "If there is even the smallest chance that Cory isn't the father, he will kill Ray, the baby, and I. He might even go after Evie. There is no telling what he will do."
"Any luck on the restraining order?" Doctor Evenson questions.
"I was denied. The judge said I didn't have enough evidence, but I know he is in Cory's pocket." She admits.
"What are you going to do, Valeria?" This time, the doctor isn't looking at her as a medical professional but woman-to-woman.
Valeria shakes her head slowly and then shrugs her shoulders softly. "I got to run. I will change my name if I have to, leaving the state or even the country. I can't take the chance of Cory finding me, and I can't take the chance of someone else getting hurt because of me."
"You have to tell Ray." She states very clearly.
"No." Valeria shakes her head again. "I understand why and I respect you wanting to help me, but I can't tell Ray. Even if the child is his...." She trails off, with the nightmare still repaying in her mind.
"Valeria, if you run, that could make your condition even more unstable. You need to lie low for your health, not just because of Cory." Doctor Evenson shakes her head. "You don't know Ray like I do like Damian and Denaya do. He isn't an idiot. He will know there is a chance that child is his. Do you really think he will let you walk out? You think he won't protect you."
"I know he would try, and he will fail, and then where will that put Evie?" Valeria states the obvious.
Doctor Evenson studies Valeria closely. "I think you vastly underestimate Ray's ability to protect you."
"I think you vastly underestimate Cory's twisted ability to get whatever he wants." She counters with an expression to match. "He has his fingers in everything. He has connections everywhere.
"And you don't think Ray does?" The tone in Doctor Evenson's voice makes Valeria hesitate. What is she implying? "Did he tell you how he met Damian or any of those other guys in that building?" Valeria clamps her mouth shut, realizing this doctor might have a point. Valeria thought she knew Ray, but maybe not well enough. "Do you even know what his job is?" Valeria shakes her head slightly. "Maybe you should..., and then you can judge his ability to protect you from Cory." They are silent for a few minutes before the doctor continues. "Okay, if you run, I want weekly calls. I won't tell anyone I talked to you, but as your doctor, I need to know you are okay. And I want you to call me if something is wrong, day or night."
Valeria nods slowly, thankful to still have her doctor on her side. A few minutes later, Valeria walks into the lobby to see Denaya reading a magazine. She looks up when the door opens, drops the magazine on the side table, and approaches her. "Well? Did she give you the all-clear?" Valeria only felt slightly bad for lying to Denaya about why she needed to see the doctor. She needed a ride, and she couldn't ask Ray. She can't tell Denaya the truth.
"Yeah," Valeria states, though not technically lying. Doctor Evenson had told her that her injuries had healed. "Got the all-clear."
"Good!" Denaya squeals and links their arms together. They walk to the exit and out into the parking lot. "We are treating Johnny's fiancé to a bachelorette party tonight, and well, you must join us. Malachai is watching Evie, and all the guys will be at the bar for a bachelor party."
"Oh, I am not really feeling that great, Denaya. I'm not really up for socializing. I just want to stay in." Valeria admits, not lying exactly, but she can't exactly party now that she is pregnant. Denaya pouts but doesn't fight her on it, but something in her friend's words replays in Valeria's mind. "Bar? You mean other than the one in the basement?"
Denaya grins. "Well, yeah." She states in a matter-of-fact tone. "We can't exactly have the two parties together, and half the guys have to work tonight anyway, so it was more fitting that they have the bar, and we get the basement." Denaya glances over at Valeria to see the stumped look on her face. "You didn't know about the bar? Ray didn't tell you where he works?"
"Nope." Valeria pops the word with a hint of anger at the lack of information. No, she doesn't know Ray, it seems.
"What a weirdo." Denaya remarks with a laugh. "He is so proud of that bar and the work he and Damian put into it. They both own it, but Damian does the business side, and Ray keeps the peace. Ray has quite the reputation down there, and he doesn't let any shenanigans take place. He used to work every night but has been taking the weekends off since you got here." Again, more new information. "You want to see the bar?" Denaya questions, and Valeria looks back at her. "I need to drop some tools off to Damian anyway. He and Ray were working on the heater. It has been on the fritz for weeks."
Valeria doesn't talk in the car, but she listens. Denaya can be chatty when she doesn't know it. Perhaps Valeria should have started listening long ago and putting the pieces together. By the time they pull into a parking space, Valeria is already highly aware of the chance that Ray lied to her. She exits the car and follows Denaya into the front door of a small building nestled down an alley. One would never find it unless they were looking for it. Valeria is taken aback immediately because it feels like walking into a sauna. Valeria assumes the heater isn't working, but it works too well.
The second thing she notices is Ray standing behind the bar, fiddling with wires in a wall-mounted box. He glances up at hearing the door and does a double take upon seeing Valeria. He clearly sees the look on her face because he turns slightly and leans on the bar. "Hey, Ray, where is Damian?" Denaya questions him, and he motions to a door up a set of stairs at the far end of the bar. Denaya hurries off; a minute later, she is up the stairs. Valeria, all the while, is looking around the bar. Despite having thought it was a small building, it is a decent size. She didn't account for the stairs she took when they walked in, leading to a lower level. Whatever room Damian is in is on the ground floor. Valeria has been to a few bars in her college days, but something about this one stands apart. It looked rustic and older rather than hip and trendy. A few neon signs are unlit, and the main lights are on.
Ray moves, catching her attention, and he walks around the bar to face her better. "Keeping secrets, I see."
Ray shrugs, unfazed by her assumption. "You never asked." That is how it has been between them for the last three weeks. The tension prickles at Valeria, and it hurts her in a way, but she doesn't have a choice.
He turns away from her, sets down a tool, and shuffles a few things on the bar. Valeria notices then that he is wearing shorts and no shirt. Of course, she notices the lack of a shirt when she first sees him, but seeing him, in short, is strange. He never wears them, and he must only be because of the heat. She looks him over, taking in the tattoos on his back she doesn't remember ever seeing. Any time she saw him shirtless, he was facing her, and she was drunk out of her mind when they were together. The tattoos extend from where the neckline of a shirt would be down to his left ankle and wraps around his leg. It is an intricate design, but something stands out on the back of his calf. It is a strange symbol and something she has seen before without realizing it.
Valeria quickly looks away when he moves to face her again, and she pretends to look around the bar. She looks up to see the logo. "Back Alley" is scrawled across the wall and looks hand painted. She wonders if Malachai painted it but then remembers the name of Malachai's band: Back Alley Rockers...BAR. Valeria mentally curses herself, feeling like an idiot. She looks at the logo, painted in spray paint, and between the two words is the same symbol on Ray's leg. Yes, Valeria is an idiot. She couldn't have even realized that Ray, Damian, and Denaya all shared the same tattoo. Looking back, it was drawn in silver sharpie on Malachai's bag, and she knows of one other tenant with it on the back of his neck.
Shaking her head, Valeria gives an airy laugh to hide how angry she is. Ray notices. "What is so funny, Valeria?" He knows that she isn't laughing at something funny. She can tell by the look in his eyes when she flicks her gaze to his.
"This is a gang," Valeria states, not asking a question he can lie about this time.
"Never said it wasn't." Ray had hesitated but must have realized there wasn't a point to denying it. "I told you I could see how you thought that because most people do."
Valeria shakes her head slowly and feels her anger boiling in her veins. She turns around and exits the building, needing air and fast. She vows to wait by the car for Denaya, even in the cold and even if she takes forever. She takes out her phone, one Denaya had helped her get a few weeks back and starts her search.
"Valeria!" Ray's sudden voice makes her shout, and she looks up as he bursts out the bar door. He must have thought she had left, but she is standing not twenty feet from him, and he approaches her. He is slightly angry himself but looks at the phone in her hand. "What are you doing?"
"Looking for a place." Valeria states with an obvious and irritated tone. "Somewhere far away, the mountains maybe." She looks down at her phone.
"You are running away?" Ray doesn't sound as angry as before, but she has to force herself not to look up at him when she hears the hurt in his tone. "Just like that?"
"I don't have a reason to stay, and I can't stay here for obvious reasons, and I am not taking any more chances in Cory finding me." She states and knows she isn't lying. "I have to leave. I don't have a choice."
"You do have a choice, Valeria!" Ray shouts but not in a mean way. Still, it makes her flinch, and she glances up at him. "Yes, I am in a gang. Yes, Damian runs it, but it isn't what you think. Each and every one of us was in a gang at some point, and we have all done terrible things but banded together to keep each other safe. That is what we do. Damian has alliances, not enemies. I make sure that anyone who seeks refuge with us makes a clean break from their gang."
"What does that mean?" Valeria questions in equal tension.
"It means I protect the people I care about." He insists.
"Good, then we are on the same page," Valeria shouts back at him. "You think I am running because I am afraid of Cory?" She questions, and Ray stares back at her with his dark blue eyes. "I have to leave because if he even catches one rumor of where I could possibly be, he won't stop until I am back under his control. He may have divorced me publicly, but that was a publicity stunt for his political career. I know he intended to keep me locked up in the basement if he had to. If he finds out where I am, he will kill all of you and take me by force. If you don't think that is possible, then you have no idea who you are dealing with. He will be mayor, and I know that for a fact because he has blackmailed every important person in this city to ensure he wins." Valeria is too far into her rant to stop herself from the following phrase coming out in the open. "If he finds out I am pregnant, he won't stop until he takes me back or cuts the child out of me and leaves me for dead. That is who he is, and that is why I have to leave."
Valeria stares at Ray for a minute before truly realizing why he is stunned into silence. She wasn't going to tell him and realizing she just did, she let out a curse and turned away from him. She rests her elbows on the top of the car and buries her face in it, feeling how cold her fingers are.
"You sure it is his?" Ray's voice is quieter, but she hears him.
Valeria doesn't look at him but keeps her head in her hands. "Of course it is."
"When did you find out?" His feet shuffle a few steps closer.
She pushes off the car and turns to face him. "About a half hour ago."
"So, there is a chance it could be mine?" Ray's tone is calm and steady, and it infuriates her. She glares at him. "Don't look at me like I am an idiot, Valeria." He fires off with his eyebrows scrunched together. "I know how that particular biology works and what we did. We were drunk, but I know the likelihood of protection failing. That is how Kylie got pregnant."
Valeria crosses her arms over her chest, feeling the cold through her thick coat. "Come back inside." Ray's voice is quieter, and he motions to the door.
"No." She mumbles. "I can't breathe in there, and I don't know how I feel being in a gang bar." She ignores the deadpan mock-glare she gets from Ray.
"Fine." He states with a bit of frustration. "I will go get Denaya to take you back home." He starts to walk back to the door before turning back to her. "But this conversation isn't over."
"Of course it is!" She yells at him, and he stops and faces her. "I won't be there when you get home in the morning. We are picking Evie up from school, and then I am packing my bag and walking out." She shakes her head. "The only reason I am not getting on a bus right now is because I owe it to Evie to at least tell her goodbye rather than just disappearing like her mother."
Ray angrily stomps back to her, but she holds her ground in matched anger. "There is a chance that the child is mine, and you are not going anywhere."
"What?" She scoffs with a glare. "Are you going to hold me prisoner, now?" Ray looks taken aback, and Valeria knows she struck a nerve. Good, she mentally states. "Cory is going to find me. It is just a matter of time. If he finds out I am pregnant, he will stop at nothing until he gets his hands on this child, and if it is before the baby is born, then I will probably lose it like I lost the other ones." Valeria's voice trembles as she realizes she just admitted something else she said she wouldn't tell anyone.
Valeria looks away from him, but she knows he is taking a step toward her. "Look at me, Valeria." She doesn't look, but she doesn't say anything either. "Fine, then listen to me. I don't make promises I can't keep, but I can make this one. If you stay with us, we will protect you. Cory will not know where you are, and you will be safe." Valeria starts shaking her head, feeling the tears prickling at her eyes as she stares up at the white clouds of the winter sky. "I know what you are risking, and even if that child isn't mine, I am still just as motivated to protect you."
"Why?" She faces him and tries to understand, but she can't.
"Because you deserve to be protected, and if I don't, then who will," Ray admits with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
"Do you own a gun?" Valeria questions, and he doesn't hesitate to nod, though she can see he isn't sure how she will react to his answer. "Good. You will need it."
Ray stares at her for a second, trying to understand her, but not many do. "Does that mean you will stay?"
Valeria lets out a huff of air and takes a few steps away from him. She hadn't noticed how close he got to her, but she felt his absence the further she got away. "I know that you are all good people, and it does make me nervous knowing you all are a gang, but I know how protective you are of each other. When it comes down to Cory threatening them all to get to me, you won't stand in his way."
"Yes, I would," Ray admits with a small shrug. "We all would."
"And if he holds a gun to Evie?" Valeria states, knowing that it would hurt Ray to say it. She has seen it in her nightmares. It was the reason she woke up screaming.
"It won't come to that," Ray states in a dangerous tone that makes Valeria hesitate before trying to contradict him. He stops her with one phrase. "I will kill him first." Somehow, she knows he is telling the truth.
Valeria slowly shakes her head. "I am trying to protect you, Ray. All of you."
"And I am trying to protect you." He takes steps towards her with a look in his eyes that she can't tear her gaze away from. "Stay, and if you don't feel safe at any point, I will help you leave. But I will also camp outside your new door to make sure you are safe."
There is a fierce protectiveness in Ray's tone, one she hasn't heard before. Cory wasn't protective; he was possessive. It is one of the deeper details that made Ray stand apart. She isn't sure whether Ray is protective of her or protecting the baby he thinks could be his. However, she knows that Ray cares, either way, what happens to her. Maybe he is right, and perhaps she believes he could try to protect her, but she is also glaringly aware of what could happen if Cory finds her.
"There you are!" Denaya's voice cuts through the air like a sharp knife causing Valeria to jump. Ray, however, doesn't move or even look away from her. "We need to go get Evie and Malachai. We can be at the front of the line if we leave now." Her heeled boots click on the concrete as she nears them, unlocks the car, and gets in.
Valeria looks back at Ray and hesitates. There is that dark gaze of determination in his blue eyes. She hadn't seen it since that night when they drank an entire bottle of vodka between them. However, there is no liquid courage between them now. "Do not leave, please." His voice is soft despite that look. She shivers but knows it has nothing to do with the weather. "Promise me you will be there when I get home."
"I promise." She mumbles almost in a daze but silently cursing herself for giving in. She should run as fast as she can, but somehow she knows she can't outrun Cory. There is nowhere she can go that he wouldn't find her eventually. She might as well have someone in her corner when he does. She just hopes she doesn't get them all killed in the process.
Valeria doesn't sleep well that night and stays up sitting on the chair in the living room, feeling like a ghost. She offered to watch Evie and Malachai while their parents were out partying. They stayed up and watched movies for a while, and neither said anything about Valeria being extra quiet. She tries to hide it, but kids are not blind. Malachai showed her his drawing of the band logo, and she taught him how to bleach shirts to make them vintage looking. Evie discovered rock music and pretended to be a metal guitarist by racing around the living room and playing air guitar. Eventually, they both crashed.
At some point, she gets up and heads to her room. She curls up on the bed and stares at the exposed wood-paneled ceiling. There is a dark fear in Valeria as tears slide down her face. What she told Ray is the truth. She isn't afraid of Cory, not for her own sake. But it isn't just her now. She has a child to protect, failing the last two times. She can't fail again. It will kill her. She is afraid for Ray and Evie...Damian, Denaya and Malachai. All of them and the family they have created here. She hates that her life has infected theirs. She hates that Cory has so much power. If she was braver and didn't have anything to lose or care about her own life, she would expose him. She wouldn't care about the consequences. She wouldn't care that his legal team would try to silence her, and she wouldn't care that when that failed, he would try to silence her forever. However, she has something she has to protect, and she will protect it.
Valeria closes her eyes suddenly at the sound of her door opening. She hadn't heard the main door and didn't know why she felt the need to act like she was asleep, but she stuck to it. It is Ray. She can tell by his footsteps and the smell of his cologne. She knows that he is checking to make sure she didn't run. He walks up to the bed, and she can feel her blankets move to cover her. He is strategic and makes sure not to touch her. He stands there for a minute, then walks out. She lets out a deep breath, and a few minutes later, she is asleep.