helloooo everyone happy wednesday wooooo!!
we're back with this yaaaay! some of you might notice there's a pretty major change from the last janis chapter (nothing that impacts the plot dw) which is fun!! the fun part of this is that y'all basically get to see this book happen in real time so i might occasionalllyyyyy do that as the plot develops just to make sure everything lines up :) sorry :p
anyhoo!! into this woo
tw for
homo/lesbophobia
abuse mention
discussion of bullying
and as always if i've missed something please let me know so i can add it :)
enjoy!
—————
Janis continues suffering through first period math. It's only day two, but still.
The girl wasn't there this morning, so she has nothing to fret over and keep her awake. She tries to pay attention, but she already doesn't know what's going on. Polynomials? Variables? Nothing is clicking.
Janis jumps a bit when the bell rings, signaling the end of class. She grabs her spiky backpack from the ground and shoves her notebook into it. Her pencil gets tucked behind her ear, and she's off. Or so she thinks.
"Janis, can I talk to you for a second?" Ms. Norbury asks gently. Janis freezes and turns around just before she makes it out of the classroom.
Damian turns as well, but Janis waves him off. He gives her a joking salute and heads off on his way to his next class. Janis heads over to the teacher's desk, fiddling with the end of her backpack strap and refusing to meet her eye.
"What do you need?" she mumbles.
"Is everything okay? You seem distracted," Ms. Norbury says. Janis loathes the amount of concern in her tone. "It's only the second day, I don't want to see you slipping. Especially not with you on the football team this year. A lot of people are really proud of you, you know. I'd hate to see you lose that."
"Lose it?"
"If your grade slips below a C in any class you're benched," Ms. Norbury says. "School policy, it's that way for all the sports. If you can't get it back up after a month you'll be kicked off the team."
Shit, Janis thinks. She cannot lose her place now. And especially not like this.
"I-I'm fine," she says hastily. "I'll do better."
"Everything's okay at home?" Ms. Norbury asks gently. "If something is going on we have people to talk to."
"Yeah, whole lotta good they do," Janis scoffs under her breath. "Look, everything's fine. It's just... early. I'm gonna be late for art."
"Of course, go ahead," Ms. Norbury says. "And Janis." Janis pauses to look at her. "We can help you, if you need. You just have to ask."
Janis nods, turning on her heel and heading out.
"You just have to ask," she mocks under her breath.
She hadn't technically lied. Everything is okay at home, now. Her dad finally got enough money together to kick her homophobic and abusive mother to the curb for good. Janis got a cat. Her sister loves her, and her dad has been her rock like always.
The problems are at school.
Regina may not target her directly anymore, but she's still the head bitch in charge. Of everyone.
Ever the dictator, she has every single clique in the school wrapped around her finger. They'll bend over backwards to do whatever she wants. And for what? Fifteen minutes of fame?
Janis is reminded of her power as soon as she steps foot into the halls. Her so called teammates shoving her against the lockers, the girls Regina wouldn't even wipe her shoes with looking in disgust at her clothes and hair and makeup. Like their opinions matter.
But Janis has been through worse. And she knows she'll make it through this.
Just two more years.
————-
"Oh!" Damian says around a mouthful of his tuna sandwich at lunch. "You'll never guess who was at tryouts yesterday."
"Dolly Parton."
"Oh my god, I wish," Damian sighs dramatically. "But no."
"Jolene," Janis says. A glare is her only response. "I give up, who?" she sighs. She's really not in the mood for this sort of thing today, but she'll always humor Damian.
"Your little crush. Her name is Cady, by the way." Damian says.
"She's not my crush!"
"You were totally ogling her the first day!" Damian retaliates. "Not that I blame you. Little slice like that."
"So was she any good?" Janis asks, attempting to steer the conversation away from any hint of crushes.
"Yes, oh my god she's incredible," Damian says, dramatically reaching across the table. "She can do all this crazy tumbling stuff, she's been practicing since she was really little. She didn't even need mats, coach just asked her to show some stuff and she tumbled from one end of the gym to the other. She's our head flyer this year."
"Yeah, I'm sure Regina isn't biased at all," Janis huffs, peeking around him to the Plastics table. Cady is sitting there looking very tense, but smiling and nodding along with the other three. "But if she's good enough then I guess it's not so bad."
"Just wait," Damian says. "It's crazy. She's like one of those wind up toys."
"I'll have to see for myself," Janis chuckles. "Can I have your pickle?"
"Paws off, pickle whore," Damian says, batting her hands away. "Mine."
Janis grabs it anyway and takes a bite, grinning mischievously. "Ours."
"You're so mean to me."
————-
There are three decent places in school, according to Janis.
The art room, which has always been Janis' safe haven. Everyone in there knows her. They're on her side. None of Regina's little cronies.
The gym. Specifically, for football practices. Damian was right, most of her teammates suck. They're merciless, and they don't listen, and think that she's incapable. But she's found an... acquaintance, in Aaron Samuels. And she always gets to work on tackling. Sometimes getting her rage out is extra fun.
She likes to think her old therapist would be proud. Probably not, but she can dream.
The last place, surprisingly, is her chemistry class. The work doesn't necessarily come easy to her. At least not as easily as it does to Damian. But it's interesting stuff, and right after lunch, which makes it easier to focus on.
Or it would be, if not for a certain girl.
Janis doesn't even know her name. All she knows is that she sits directly in front of her. That she has the most beautiful auburn curls which are apparently totally natural. That she's absolutely brilliant.
Oh, and that she's Regina's latest prized catch.
It would be almost perfect if not for that. None of the other Plastics are in their chemistry class, nobody who reports to them. It's a perfect haven. If only Regina hadn't gotten to her first.
Janis doesn't even know if she should risk it. Talking to her. God only knows what twisted tales Regina has put in her head already. What she already knows about her.
So much for chemistry.
————-
Janis grumbles quietly to herself as she gets changed in the locker room after school. She really is not in the mood for practice today. At least they don't have to wear all the padding yet.
She texts her dad to let her know when she'll be home as she exits the locker room and heads into the main gym.
"Heads up!"
Janis snaps her head up from her phone when she hears the scattered warnings from around the gym. One of the cheerleaders is working on a tumbling pass and heading right towards her. She doesn't have enough time to get out of the way, so, instinctively, Janis drops her phone and holds her arms out.
The girl winds up landing in them perfectly, leaving Janis holding her bridal style and both of them blinking at each other in surprise. It turns out to be the new girl Janis saw on their first day. The one from chemistry class. The one that Damian teases her so mercilessly about. Of course.
"Nice catch!" the girl chirps. What did Damian say her name was? "Sorry about that, are you okay?"
"Uh... yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Janis replies as she gently sets the girl back down on her feet. "Nice... um... flippy thing."
"Thanks," the girl giggles. She spies Janis' phone on the ground and bends to pick it up. "I really am sorry, I should've paid more attention before I started tumbling."
"No, I wasn't here when you started. My fault," Janis chuckles shyly, dusting off her phone and sliding it back into her pocket. "I was in the locker room and walked in your way."
"Locker room? Are you on the team too?"
"Not this one," Janis says. "I'm on the football team."
"Really?"
"Yep. First girl ever on the team," Janis mumbles, trying not to show how proud of herself she is.
"That's really cool, um..."
"Janis."
"That's really cool, Janis," the girl grins. "I'm Cady."
"That's it!" Janis says. Cady looks at her in confusion. "Sorry, uh... Damian, there, is my best friend. He tells me about you guys sometimes. I couldn't remember what he said your name was."
"Oh!" Cady says with a nod. "He's really nice."
"Yeah," Janis sighs, begrudgingly waving back as Damian waves at her. He gestures between the two of them and wags his eyebrows. "He can be."
"Cady, stop talking to that dyke and get over here, we need to get back to work," Regina yells. Cady looks apologetic as she starts making her way back over.
"Sorry," she mouths. Janis shrugs.
"It's fine. I have my own practice I'm late for anyway," she says back. Cady grins and turns around to run back to her team. Janis flips Damian off as she heads outside to the field for warm ups. He blows her a kiss in return and starts stretching.
-
Janis is deep in thought during conditioning. She only really met the girl twenty minutes ago, but something just felt... right. Cady fit into her arms so well. Her giggles were so sweet, her eyes so green. And she even apologized for Regina being mean.
Damn it, not again.
—————
"So you finally met Cady," Damian says as they walk home together.
"Yeah."
"Thoughts?"
"No."
"Mood," Damian says. "But really, what did you think of her?"
"What does it matter? Regina already has her under her wing, she'll be brainwashed against me before much longer," Janis huffs, adjusting her bag of gear. "She already knows I'm gay, too, that's not gonna do me any favors."
"Just because Regina called you a... that, doesn't mean Cady thinks it's true," Damian says. "I don't even think Cady would know what it means."
"How could she not know?"
"She's from Africa," Damian says. Janis stops in her tracks.
"She what?!" she says. "Then why is she-"
"Her parents are, like, animal scientists or something, they were there for research. Cady said her mom got a new job and they had to move back here," Damian says.
"Oh. That's... kinda cool, actually," Janis says, resuming their trek home.
"So Regina aside, how do we feel about her?" Damian urges.
"Again, why does it matter? She's probably straight," Janis sighs.
"No straight person wears that much flannel," Damian says. "Just humor me, come on."
"Fine. She seemed sweet, and I think she's cute," Janis says. "But again, nothing is gonna happen, because she's probably straight and she's been kidnapped by Regina."
"Ooooooh," Damian teases, decidedly ignoring the second half of her sentence. "You think she's cuuuuuuuute. Janis likes a giiiiiiiiiirl."
"I didn't stand a chance, she literally fell into my arms," Janis says pleadingly. "She's so tiny. And her hair is so pretty, and her eyes are this really pretty green. And she's nice."
"Damn," Damian chuckles. "You're in deep."
"I only talked to her once, shut up," Janis huffs, unlocking her front door and dropping all her gear in a pile. "I have chem homework, help me."
"Bossy."
"I'll help you with English."
"Fine," Damian grumbles. "Will you at least feed me first?"
"Yeah, come on," Janis sighs. Damian claps and follows her to the kitchen. Janis lets him raid the fridge while she grabs a few of her protein packs to snack on.
"Do you have any classes with the Plastics this year?" Damian asks as he pours himself some cereal.
"Well, Gretchen is in our algebra class, you've seen her," Janis replies around some almonds. "And Karen is in my study hall. But no Regina, luckily."
"Any Cady?"
"Would you give it a rest?" Janis huffs. "I don't even like her that much."
"That implies that you like her," Damian says. "Dish, bitch, c'mon. Chop chop."
"If you must know, we have chemistry together," Janis sighs.
"Hell yeah you do."
"Get out of my house," Janis huffs.
"You can't get rid of me," Damian teases. "You need me for my brains."
"Yeah right," Janis chuckles. "I need you for your hugs."
"Come here," Damian coaxes. Janis shuffles over and leans into him lazily. Damian wraps his arms around her and gives her his best hug. "Not to, like, reiterate my point or anything, but if you ever want Cady's number..."
"Oh my god!"
"Janny?" a voice calls, accompanying footsteps on the stairs. "Is that you?"
"No, I'm a robber," Janis calls back. Her little sister, Stevie, glares at her as she makes her way to the kitchen. "Hey, TV."
"Hey, doofus," Stevie says.
"How was school?" Janis says, ruffling her hair as Stevie shuffles up for a hug. Stevie shrugs.
"School."
"Fair enough. Homework?" Janis hums.
"Already done," Stevie beams. "It's fourth grade. Not like it's hard."
"Alright, Elle Woods," Janis snorts. Realization dawns on her and she glares at Damian, who waggles his eyebrows in delight. "Fuck you, that's your fault."
Stevie gasps in horror at the profanity. "Janny, you have to put a dollar in the swear jar."
"Oh, do I?" Janis hums teasingly. "I don't see Dad anywhere. Unless... you're gonna snitch."
"I might," Stevie hums. "What's in it for me?"
"You're getting too clever for your own good," Janis sighs. "I'll make dinner."
"Deal," Stevie grins, extending a hand for her to shake. Janis takes it and rolls her eyes.
"Dad working late again?"
"Yeah. He left a note, he should be home by eight," Stevie sighs. Janis grins sadly.
Their dad is a lawyer, often working strange hours or long days. He's always home in time to tuck them in, but beyond that, they can never be sure when he'll be home. Janis is happy to step in to help with Stevie whenever she can. Stevie is less happy with the arrangement, but knows complaining won't help anything. Plus, it gives her ample opportunity to annoy her big sister.
"What do you want to eat?" Janis asks.
"We have dino nuggets," Stevie offers.
"I can't feed you dino nuggets every time, Steve," Janis hums. "Something healthy this time, c'mon."
"You guys have chicken and some vegetables," Damian offers, rifling through their fridge again.
"That and I get to watch a horror movie," Stevie insists.
"No way. You're nine, go watch... Disney Channel or something," Janis says. "You're not getting another deal out of me."
"Fiiiiine," Stevie sighs, picking up their cat and huffing off to the living room to go watch TV.
"I love you!" Janis calls, almost teasing.
"Yeah, yeah," Stevie huffs. "Love you too."
"Ever the charmer," Damian grins.
"Runs in the family," Janis smirks back. "Alright, help me while I cook and you get dinner too."
"Works for me."
————
"I'm home! Jan, you got a package, sweetheart," Janis' dad calls as he opens the door a few hours later. Janis peeks up from her algebra homework she and Damian had been struggling through.
"Ooh, package," Damian teases. "Sweetheart."
"Shut up," Janis scoffs, shoving him slightly and going to greet her father. "Hey, Papa."
"Hey, rock star," her father grins.
"How was work? Any murderers?"
"You know I'm not that kind of lawyer, Janis," her father hums with a chuckle.
"Doesn't mean I can't hope," Janis grins. "Dinner's in the fridge. Steve's in the shower."
"Thank you, hon," her dad says, relief visible in his eyes as he pecks Janis' forehead and heads to the kitchen. "Hi, Damian, how are you, son?"
"I'm good, thanks, Mr. Sarkisian," Damian says back. "Jan, I gotta go home. Curfew."
"Okay. Goodnight," Janis says. Damian gives her a hug goodbye and grabs his bag before he heads out.
"How was school, rock star?" her father asks, sitting next to her at the table with his reheated dinner while Janis tries to keep going with her homework.
"Fine," Janis says, refusing to meet his eye.
"You teenagers and your one word answers," her dad huffs. "You have that Ms. Norbury again? My coworker handled her latest divorce. Poor woman."
"Yeah. Algebra," Janis sighs, tapping the end of her pencil against her workbook.
"How's that going?"
"Kind of like a baby giraffe taking its first steps," Janis sighs. "I'm two days in and I already got a talking to."
"Well, baby giraffes all learn to walk eventually. You'll get there," her dad says. "Why don't you take a break? Open your box?"
"Okay," Janis says. Her dad offers the knife he has yet to use on his dinner. Janis takes it to slice through the tape on the box and pulls the flaps open.
Her dad grins as she pulls out her official jersey and varsity jacket for the year. "Put it on."
Janis tugs the soft fabric over her shoulders, shrugging her way into blue and yellow. She holds her arms out and does a spin so her dad can assess it.
"Look at that quarterback," her dad says. "Best that school ever did see."
"I dunno about that," Janis chuckles sardonically.
"What makes you say that?"
"Nothing," Janis says hastily. Her dad raises an eyebrow, and Janis crumbles. "My teammates... don't exactly like me."
"Are they hurting you?" her dad asks in concern, gently grabbing her arm.
"Not... really," Janis says. "I get... shoved around. Stuff on my locker. Y'know, normal stuff."
"That's not normal, pumpkin," her dad says.
"Can we drop it? Please? There's nothing we can do about it. You can't pull me out of school and save the day again," Janis huffs. Her dad blinks at her in shock. "Sorry. I'm sorry, I just... I don't wanna talk about it."
"Alright," her dad murmurs, gently brushing Janis' hair out of her face. "If you change your mind..."
"I know where to find you," Janis replies.
"Good," her dad says gently. Janis sneaks one of his green beans, and promptly chokes on it when her father asks, "So are there any cute girls around this year?"
"What?!"
"That's not a no," her dad teases gently.
"Not you too," Janis groans. She catches onto her mistake as soon as her dad raises an eyebrow. "Forget I said that."
"Whatever you say, hon," her dad says knowingly.
"There is... one," Janis mumbles. "She's new."
"Oh?" her dad hums. "Tell me more."
"She's head cheerleader," Janis sighs. "Regina already got to her."
"Doesn't mean you can't get to her too," her dad says. "Show her the right way. If she's new this year she's gonna need a good friend to show her what Regina's really about."
"I don't know how to talk to her, though," Janis whines. "Like, 'hey, your friend is a scum sucking fart mouth life ruiner who almost killed me, you should come be my friend instead'? She'd think I'm nuts!"
"Well, maybe don't come off quite that strong," her dad chuckles, swallowing his last bite and heading to wash his dishes. Janis follows, perching on the counter and pouting down at her tights-covered legs. "Just... be a friend. Nothing says you have to replace Regina. If this girl has any sense she'll catch on soon enough."
"But how do I even start talking to her? We only spoke for the first time today and it was, like, four sentences before Regina called me a dyke and I had to go to practice," Janis says.
"I think you can work that out on your own," her dad says, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You're a big girl."
"But-"
"But for now, I think you need to get back to that algebra, missy."
"Fiiiine."
——————
thanks for reading!
lots of love,
ezzy