Collin didn't hear from Heather for two days. He kept his phone charged, and the volume was on, but no calls. No messages.
Not that he reached out to her, either.
Something had changed on Saturday. A spark had flown and landed in some kindling, causing some smoke to rise. It looked like it was going to catch fire. But Avery had been a damp rag, snuffing out the flame before it had a chance to blaze.
Maybe they both needed a little space to dry off. To think, reflect, breathe. And that was okay. If it was meant to be, there'd be another spark, another chance for some heat. Collin was sure of it.
He and Sam spent Sunday drinking foamy beer from the keg while doing a shit job completing homework and studying for finals. Then he spent Monday regretting his life decisions as he sat through both Latin and his discussion session for Ancient Greek Literature while hung over. And his discussion session was led by Jordan, super gay TA extraordinaire, who always expected Collin to participate.
Now it was Tuesday morning, which meant another work day. Collin opened up the store with Tom as usual, and right before seven, he ran across the street for coffee.
There were two people in line when he walked in through the door, but he caught Heather's eye right away. The corner of her lips twitched, and then she turned her attention back to the woman she was ringing up.
Collin let his eyes wander the cafe, not wanting to stare awkwardly at her while she worked. The chalkboard menu boasted that they now served breakfast sandwiches. The ficus tree in the corner had a few brown leaves. They had hung new art on the exposed-brick walls: black and white photographs of surfers, some up close on a paddling arm, others silhouettes against waves and a setting sun.
When the person in front of him was done being helped, Collin stepped forward and met Heather's smile with one of his own. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Long time no see," she responded, and immediately Collin regretted not texting her Sunday morning to invite her over to destroy her liver along with him and Sam.
"Sorry, this is the first time I've been sober since..." He scrunched up his face. "Since the Saturn Cafe."
"Oh, really?" She cocked a brow.
"And that keg is still stubbornly full."
"I have faith in you."
Someone behind Collin shuffled impatiently.
"The usual, please. Two black coffees." He pulled out his wallet.
"You know, telling me your order defeats the purpose of calling it 'the usual.'" She rolled her eyes and turned around to fill two paper cups.
"Well, I don't always get a coffee for Tom, do I?" he asked her back.
"If it's seven on a Tuesday, you do," she answered as she turned back around.
"Are you getting off at the usual time today?"
"Yeah." She bit her bottom lip.
"Then maybe I'll see you around." He winked, turned around, and strutted out the door with a coffee in each hand. He didn't need to look back to know she was shaking her head and trying not to laugh.
Collin was still smiling when he walked back into the smoothie shop and handed Tom his cup.
"So, did you two finally hook up at that party?" Tom asked, taking a tentative sip from the steaming cup.
"Dude, the night was crazy. Cops busted the party up before I'd even had my second drink." Collin set his coffee down by the second register, hidden from a customer's view, then he proactively placed a blender under the orange juicer, and picked up a rag to wipe down around the toaster.
"Is that a no?" Tom rubbed at his chin.
"Don't be crass." Collin chucked the rag at Tom.
Tom caught the rag and tossed it back. "I could tell that things are beginning to vibe between you two, man. I totally set myself up to lose two weeks of summer tips, didn't I? Why couldn't Avery have dumped you in the winter when things are slow?"
Collin laughed. And he was about to say something about the bet being off when Marvin came into the store. "Good morning, Marvin."
Tom rang up his usual order as Collin turned on the orange crushing monster and then got to work cutting wheatgrass and feeding it through the juicer.
The first part of the morning was busier than usual. A lot of juices were ordered, which took longer to make than smoothies because you couldn't multi-task: there was only one of each type of juicing machine; there were five blenders that could go at once.
But, at around ten, orders hit a lull. By that time, there were four people on the clock. Tom and Collin had already taken their first ten-minute breaks, so it was Christy's turn. As she walked out the front door, Sam walked in.
"Hey Sam, what are you doing here?" Collin asked. She didn't pop around the smoothie shop very often.
"Sorry to bug you at work, but I thought you'd want to know." she said, leaning against the pickup counter.
"Know what?" Collin asked, a sudden trepidation tingling at the base of his spine.
"Avery and Gina broke up." She delivered the news with the same grim expression as if she was telling him her grandmother had died unexpectedly.
Tom looked up from washing dishes, stopped what he was doing, and turned around for a better view.
Collin took a slow breath. "Why would I care?"
Sam's lips flattened into a line and her eyebrows raised and met in the middle.
Collin just shook his head. "She's still a lesbian, isn't she?"
His insides felt hallow. Carved out. He had no more emotion to give to Avery. She was the one who had ended things, not him. He would have happily leased an apartment with her, mixed their laundry together, and split groceries. But she'd messed everything up, and some things just can't be undone. You can't unscramble an egg.
"She said you two shared a moment at the party. In your room?" Sam asked it as a question, but it felt like an accusation.
"A moment? You mean how I caught her sneaking into my room to use the bathroom because the one off the hallway was occupied and then she showed me the tattoo she got to prove that her heart was now free?" Anger flashed in Collin's chest.
Tom took a step forward, as if he sensed trouble.
Sam held up her hands. "Sorry," she said. "I just know that what you and Avery had was really special."
"Yeah, and she threw it away for a fling that lasted less than a month."
The door opened, and a customer came in. Collin turned towards the sink, too full of rage to plaster on a fake smile and ask a stranger how they were doing today.
Tom wiped his hands and stepped up to the register.
After Collin made the smoothie and the customer left, Sam walked back over to him. "Listen, Heather's nice and all, but... isn't she just a distraction? You wouldn't have even approached her if Tom here hadn't dared you to." She gestured over to the register where Tom was eavesdropping with all the stealth of a marching band at a parade.
"It was a bet, not a dare," Tom clarified, unhelpfully. "And I'd totally allow Collin to call the bet off without having to pay up if Avery is who he wants, but I don't–"
"The bet is still on?" Sam cut him off, incredulous.
"No," Collin answered at the same time that Tom answered in the affirmative.
Sam shook her head in disbelief. "Boys are so stupid," she muttered. "Listen, Collin, I just thought you should know. Didn't want you to hear it and have it come from out of left field. But Avery told me, in no uncertain terms, that she messed up and is kicking herself for it. So, something to think about, okay?"
Collin didn't have a response, so he just said, "Okay." And he was grateful when Sam turned and exited.
But it wasn't okay. He wasn't okay. And there wasn't anything to think about.
Except, in the back of his mind, the question "What if?" bubbled up. What if Avery just needed to see that the grass wasn't greener? What if this was just a bump in the road? What if he ignored this opportunity to get back with Avery, and Heather was never actually interested in him at all and then he was just alone forever? What if?