_
This was the demise of your crush on him.
It was nothing of course. It was easy peasy. You just had to get busy or do something to keep your mind off him.
It wasn't like you fell in love or something, but again why, why did it still hurt? Because you wanted something for the first time in your life and didn't get it? Or do you despise how little effort you put into getting him?
Or how your life knew how to go downhill always?
From having difficulty in speech and holding a conversation to attending therapy sessions just because your parents thought you were mentally ill, you went through a lot.
Starting a relationship to maintaining it in your childhood was always a difficult task for you. You have always remained alone until you were put in a normal school and eventually got used to it.
In the end, there wasn't a problem with you but with the surroundings, you were put in. Your parents never interacted much with you, to begin with, they cared less. You weren't kept in a normal nursery school but instead given private lessons until the psychologist decided to put you in a normal school like others.
Your parents didn't like the idea of it, the least they did was care for you and their reputation. As a girl they wanted you to grow up in a close environment but that led you to have an introverted personality and difficulty articulating speech.
After coming to this school you realise where you were placed at. You didn't know how to start a conversation but once you got comfortable you knew how to keep them going on. Lisa was the first one to approach you and here were you both as best friends.
She introduced you to Rosé and the rest others.
If you had a such bubbly personality it was because of Lisa. You were opening up but it was too late. You lost the guy you wanted to fall for.
Jeon Jungkook.
The first wish of yours is to remain unfulfilled.
Life was about success and failures and this was your first failure, so it was fine.
Jungkook finally confessed to Rosé and now you were left with no option other than to let go.
How much ever it hurts, you were the one to sit and see it all happen, if only you were an extrovert like her, or maybe if since the start you had confidence, probably he could've been yours.
Deep inside, you knew who was the one to blame.
"Shall we?" Jungkook opened the car door for you, waiting for you to get out of his car. "Yeah," You answered, getting out to see a small pretty looking cafe.
It was 5 pm. As promised, you and Jungkook got out for lunch.
He approached you first and apologized for acting so intensely in the morning. He asked for Rosé's well-being too and when you said she was with Jimin relief spread through him. He said he was also okay when later Hobi entered the room right after you left.
Since he was feeling better now he took you here to this cafe.
Both of you got in and what you saw made your eyes widen and your heart stuck in one place. There was Jimin wearing the cafe's apron and serving coffee and cupcakes to the customers.
But why was he working in a cafe? Wasn't he financially rich like others?
"Hey," Jungkook calls out for Jimin, and Jimin who was focused on his work looks up at you both to pause and blink in surprise, "Oh, Hey" he dusted his hands approaching you both.
His eyes looked at you and then at Jungkook, confused, it was an odd sight to look at.
"I came with Y/n for a coffee," Jungkook points out, inserting his hands under his pocket, "I needed to talk to you both" he nervously says as you turn to him, "us?"
"Why?" Jimin asks, not understanding.
"Let's talk while we eat," Jungkook sighs, "You Join us too" Jungkook flickers Jimin's hair as Jimin hesitates a little, "The owner won't allow-" and Jungkook cuts him off, "I asked him already,"
And you both stood paused.
What was he on?
+++
Sipping the coffee Jungkook places it down on the bistro table. Wipes the end of his lips with the kerchief.
"So..." Jungkook starts, very carefully, "How's life huh?" He smugs with a chin tilt and both you and Jimin get weirded out.
"Can you just get to the point, I'd prefer that." Jimin crosses his arms. Leans back in his seat. Studies Jungkook's posture and he's nervous. He must be, after that stunt he pulled yesterday.
Jungkook sighed in distress, and scratched his temples, "It's about yesterday you know." You see where this is going. "What I did yesterday was disrespectful and disdainful." He places his hands on his lap and bows down. "I apologize."
You twist your lips. Murmur it's okay and Jungkook still waits until Jimin accepts his apology too. "What you did was childish, you know that right?" Jimin is stern, his voice a few octaves lower.
Jungkook silently bops his head.
It makes Jimin take an exhaled tired sigh, "Well, we provoked you." He is referring to Rose and him plotting the plan to make him jealous which went wrong. "It's okay, just don't do it again."
"Of course." He stiffly claims, sits up straight and smiles at the two of you. Jimin pats his shoulders.
He glanced between you two, "So, you two are good right?" He asks you and Jimin and you blink, fold your arms, "What do you mean?"
Jungkook shakes his head, "I mean, it didn't affect your relationship right?"
You frown, "Relationship?"
"He means friendship." Jimin cuts him, "He's stupid, don't pay attention to him."
"But you like her." Jungkook counters.
Your eyes find Jimin's immediately. He's shutting his eyes. Hands pinching his forehead. "Don't compliment things, Kook."
"Huh?" He doesn't understand. Gets a call. Excuses himself and goes out to take the call leaving you and Jimin be.
Jungkook knew Jimin liked you. Since the start. More the reason why he didn't see you as a woman he would like. He closed the doors of your chances with him the moment he must've learnt Jimin likes you.
All the efforts you put in were all wasted?
The question is why would Jimin say that to him? Why ruin your chances with him? Because he likes you? Because he doesn't want you to be with him?
Oh, you can't believe this. Jimin did this? The one who you used to help you get Jungkook. If this was true, he was selfish. So selfish.
Lord. Tears are springing in your eyes. Your chest hurts. Hands clamming up with sweat. Your heart is clenching. More than the pain of not having him you feel betrayed. Betrayed of the trust. Out of all, how could Jimin do this to you?
"Y/n..." Jimin calls for your name. "The other day when I was talking to Rose, did you happen to—"
Oh, he's on it again.
You hold your head. Shut your ears and Jimin pauses. His face dropped. "Y/n?" He reaches for your hand but you retract your hands, don't let him touch you and it feels like Jimin has been stabbed with a knife.
"Are you okay?" He suddenly feels something bad is about to happen. Worries crazy. You don't listen to him. Don't utter a single word to him let alone see him.
"Hey," Jungkook comes in, "I need to urgently leave" He doesn't read the room. Just collects his things from the table, "I paid the bill so you don't need to." he smiles vividly, catching up for the door, "Thanks for forgiving me, see you around then." With bells jingling, he leaves through the door just like that.
You pick up your bag immediately, "I-I gotta go." You clasp your bag to leave immediately but you stop midway when you see Jimin clasp your wrist and not letting you leave. "Hey," he softly calls and you're breaking into so many pieces of betrayal.
"It's going to rain." He mentions, comes closer, "Let me lend you an umbrella. Will you wait until then?" He doesn't want you to get sick in the rain or get drenched.
Your other hand clutches onto your heart. It hurts. "Please." Your voice has faltered and Jimin feels the sting hit his chest. Something was very wrong.
"Let me go." You're trying to take your wrist away from his hold and Jimin isn't letting you go. His chest is heaving up. Worry spreading his entire body. The world has been cruel to him. Doesn't want this to be just another part of it. Not you, please. Please.
"Let's talk outside, okay?" He is taking you outside and you're feeling ew and bad. You're nauseous. Didn't see this coming. Why was this hurting you so much? So so much.
You're out of the cafeteria now. His hands still holding onto yours. You want everything but him around you right now.
"Hey, look at me." Jimin firmly holds your shoulders and wants you to look him in the eye but you're not. You don't plan on doing that either.
He's desperate. "LILY!" He begs, "WHAT'S WRONG?" He whispers and shouts. Doesn't increase his voice at you but is panicking looking at the sudden mood change.
You slap his hand away. "Do not touch me, Jimin." Your face is hidden under your hair. Head still down. Hands tightly holding your bag, knuckles white.
"Why?" He is broken.
"Stop it!" You look up and he gasps. Your eyes have tears. The cheeks were all red. Swelling under your eyes for holding them tears for so long.
"Did I do something?" He asks, immediately. All his fingers pointing at himself. He could go on his knees for you if you ask. Can't see you cry. Feels all kinds of pain and torture to see you this way. He's so wrecked. So so down for you.
You look him straight in his eyes this time, beholding the pain in them. You go closer to him, a distance of an index finger between you two. Your palm rests on your chest, "Tell me it's not true."
The clouds go all dark, the wind blowing heavily and mild thunders around. People are running around to get under the shade before it rains.
"What is?" Jimin whispers he wants all of your pain in him. Reads all the emotions in your gaze. Feels full of fear. As if it's going to take you away from him. Forever.
"Did you tell Jungkook you liked me?" You tilt your head, another tear slipping down your cheeks. He wants to kiss all the tears away. Tell you nothing has happened and that he can make you so happy so happy so happy but the probability of that happening is very slim.
He wasn't the one to say it. It happened in the group chat. But he didn't deny it either. The major mistake didn't know you liked Jungkook back then. Didn't know Y/n was Lily when the conversation about this happened.
"I can explain." He answers, hopes you understand, listen to him but you're not in your right mind.
You duck your head down in your palms immediately. Shake in tears. Cry. He is about to cry too.
"Give me a chance to explain, I swear—" You bite your lips, and look up. He can see nothing in your eyes anymore. No emotions. Empty. Oh, he wishes nothing but death.
"I must look so funny." You scoff, tears staining your cheeks, mascara smudged under your eyes. "Must be funny to see me like this, right?"
You've lost it.
He shakes his head and wants to hold you close but it hurts so fucking much that he can't. He does not have the right to. He hates it so much. So much.
You're laughing tears, hands grabbing your hair, droplets of water starting to fall on you two. "Now..." your face is scrunched up, "Now that Jungkook's out of the picture, you can have your way, right?"
He blames himself for bringing you to this point. Knows you're hurt. Deeply hurt.
"Huh?" You use a mocking tone, grab him by his collar, pull him by his collar and your lips are so close. So close. So so close. "Was this your plan?"
"Y/n." He wants to cup your cheeks. Tell you everything but you're not in any position to listen to anything he has to say.
"You selfishly wanted me."
That comment hits him. He's been patient. All he's been is patient. Just because you liked Jungkook he had held out on so much. Wanted to see you happy. Liked you wholeheartedly, and never hesitated to help you get together with Jungkook.
"Don't." He doesn't wanna hear that but you fist his chest. Hit him once, twice, thrice and slip your arm down. Rest your head on his chest. Cry out loud.
Jimin looks away. Holds his tears. Keeps his hands to himself.
"I hate you!" You scream mid-wailing, "How could you do this to me!" You hit him again, head buried in his arms, "You're so—" Jimin doesn't let you complete. "Don't do this Y/n, please."
The rain has increased. You're drenched head to toe with Jimin. The silence around the area. It's just the two of your tears mixing with the rain.
You're shaking and Jimin can't let you be like this. "Let's get home." He lifts your chin, you're still crying, deny going with him. Act all childish. Get stubborn.
"Eight years, it was no joke." You realize you've wasted a lot of time liking someone for eight whole years. "Why?" He questions, "Why not anyone else?" He wants to know, "Why him?"
You part from him. "It wasn't easy." You look at your hands, "He just looked so perfect that it didn't hit my mind to like anyone else."
Jimin pushes his wet hair behind. His white shirt was soaked. You don't look at him. Look away and maintain the little dignity you have. He's scoffing. Wants to scream. Doesn't. Comes and respectfully asks you to go home with him.
You try to whine about it until he doesn't give you a chance to. "I didn't ask you." He reaches for your hand, clasps it with his, "I'm driving you home and that's it."
"Why?" You let him hold you. "Why keep trying?"
Jimin takes a deep gulp, "I've said it Y/n." If he has all the love in this world, he will give it to you. "Don't do this to me." His hold looses, "It's very mean to someone like me who has liked nobody like this but you."
You're losing breath.
"You make me all kinds of crazy." He spills, not having control of his emotions either, "And you have no idea how much I'm willing to do just to make you happy. To see you happy."
You can see the intensity in his eyes. It makes you realize a lot of things. Brings shivers to your skin. It was so strong. His feelings for you are so strong.
"So, Y/n let's leave."
And your feet have decided to follow him.
♡♡♡
Amxnx