Kumogakure no sato… (Starting song: Dead man walking by Bloodsimple)
"Naruto-sama!" Hanabi shouted excitedly.
"Ho! Someone's happy to see me!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! That's him! He's alive!" Some guy from the crowd screamed.
"And I guess someone is not too happy…"
CRASH.
The Raikage landed loudly on the ground.
"UZUMAKI! Couldn't you stay dead?!"
Naruto shrugged. "Of course I could!" Then he grinned evilly. "But where is the fun in that? Besides, if I'm gone, who's gonna kill all of you?!"
Kage box…
"Dammit!" Orochimaru cursed. "We have to get out of here…"
"…"
"Oi, Tsunade!"
"…"
"What's wrong with you?!"
But the not-so-old-anymore Hokage was not paying him any attention.
'He's alive… He really is alive!' She thought, looking down in awe.
'And?! What the fuck are you waiting for?! Go jump down there and hug him!'
'I…' She already began to lean forward…
SLAP.
…When she was suddenly slapped hard across her face.
"Tsunade!"
"Orochimaru? What do you think you're doing?!"
The snake user glared at her. "No, what do you think you're doing?! We need to get out of here!"
The woman looked at him in confusion. "But what about the alliance?"
Orochimaru slapped his forehead. "Are you stupid or what?! It's fucking Naruto, he's back!"
"Thank you, I can see that much!"
"Oh really?!" He replied. "Then here's some question for you, why do you think he's back?!"
Tsunade's eyes widened. "Don't tell me…"
"Exactly! He's going to 'blow this place up and laugh like an imbecile', remember?!"
"Tch." Godaime scowled.
"I don't like this more than you do, but we have to escape this time." The snake sannin explained. "Kumo is already lost, and we shouldn't let its sacrifice to be in vain. We must inform the Order! They are the only ones who can stop him!"
"Dammit…" She looked down again.
'You must choose now!'
"Grr… Fuck!" Tsunade turned around. "Alright, let's go."
Orochimaru smiled. "A wise choice."
'I doubt it…'
'Exactly. Don't regret it later…'
Back with Naruto…
"Ah, so Tsunade has left." Naruto nodded his head. "That's good to know."
"Oh? And why is that?" Ay asked.
The demon grinned. "It's because I don't wish to kill her… not yet at least." His grin widened. "Hmhmhmhmhm… You on the other hand…"
"Uzumaki… Naruto…"
"Huh?" Naruto turned his head once again. "Ho, Gaara. Didn't notice you there. Sorry about that by the way…" He pointed at unconscious Hinata in Kazekage's hands. "I just wanted to give her the stunner so much… Oh! And since she already has the RKO in her collection, now the only thing that's left is a Byakurai through the forehead, and she will have a complete set of my signature techniques, HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Kazekage! Go warn the Order!" Ay spoke.
Gaara's eyes widened. "But I can't! You'll…"
"I'll be alright! Go!"
Gaara hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and disappeared along with Hinata in a swirl of sand.
"Pretty stupid…" Naruto commented. "Now you're all alone. Do you really think you will remain 'alright' for long?"
"You think too highly of yourself, Uzumaki!" The Raikage yelled. "I'm not as weak as I used to be!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow, not impressed in the slightest. "Oh yeah? I see nothing different…"
"That's where you're wrong!" Ay did several handseals. "After our victory over you I was chosen as the next Dragon Summoner! Kuchiose no jutsu!"
A huge puff of smoke and… nothing.
"Bwahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed. "And?! Where are all the dragons?"
The Raikage stared at his hand in shock. "What happened?!" He gritted his teeth. "Dammit! Kuchiose no jutsu!"
Another puff of smoke… and still nothing.
"HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed again, summoning a cola can. "Yeah, keep trying! I have faith in you!" He exclaimed, giving Ay thumbs up.
"Kuchiose no jutsu!"
And again nothing.
Naruto shrugged. "Well, I might as well release girls…"
SMACK.
"Ouch!" Naruto yelped when Hanabi kicked his leg. "What the hell was that for?!"
"Took you long enough!" The Hyuga girl replied. "That was not the most comfortable position, you know."
"Hmhmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled, putting Kurenai down. "Yeah, sorry about that. I'll be faster next time, okay?"
"Naruto…" Kurenai whispered.
"Hey." He responded.
"Is it really you?"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "No, I'm Ezio Auditore de Firenze! An assassin!"
She tilted her head in confusion. "Who?"
"An ass… It doesn't matter who!"
Kurenai smiled warmly. "Yeah, it is you…"
"Kuchiose no jutsu!"
Naruto snorted. "Oh my god, he's still trying?!"
"Looks like it." Hanabi answered.
"Why isn't this working?" Ay asked in shock.
Naruto grinned evilly at him. "Why isn't what working?"
"The summoning!"
"Hmm, an interesting question!" Naruto stated. "Maybe it's just not enough blood? Try using all of it…"
The Raikage just glared at him intensively.
"Oh, scary! Alright, I'll tell you." The blond continued. "Well, perhaps your summoning isn't working… because there's no one really to summon?"
Ay's eyes widened. "What?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow and glanced at Hanabi. "Did I mumble?"
"Not really." She responded.
"Then I don't understand your question, Raikage-chan. I told you that your summoning isn't working, because there is nobody to respond to your call."
"B-but how…?"
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled. "You know, you were perfect as an ally. A huge amount of muscle combined with a complete and total lack of brain."
"What do you mean?"
The demon snorted and glanced at Hanabi again. "See? That's exactly what I mean. As for your question, Raikage-chan, you never could make the right conclusion. For example, if I was to be in your place, I would've asked some really interesting questions, not the shit you're asking."
"Oh yeah? Questions like what?!" The Kumo leader responded.
Naruto's grin widened. "Like… If I've been alive all this time, then where was I hiding? What was the point of leaving my sword behind? And why show up only now? Wanna guess?"
"You were regaining your strength?" Kurenai suggested.
"Nah, Naruto-sama was taking care of some shit, right?" Hanabi exclaimed.
"Haha!" Naruto patted her on the head. "Good girl. You are both correct actually. It took me awhile to get back to my full power, and I was taking care of some shit alright."
"Enough with the mystery talk, Uzumaki!" The Raikage shouted.
"Fine, fine!" The blond raised his hands defensively. "You see, Ay-chan, being the world's enemy is a difficult task… But being the enemy of two worlds is even harder. I tried to take on both of them at the same time and failed. Well, no one is flawless, and the only one who doesn't make mistakes is the one who don't do anything at all."
He then summoned another cola can and drank it down. "Sorry, my throat went dry. Now where was I…? Oh yes, I made a mistake and failed. But since it was not a fatal mistake… well, for me at least, I thought about it and concluded this. If you can't take on two worlds at the same time, well… you just have to take them out one at a time."
Kumo leader's eyes widened. "You what?!"
"Yep!" Naruto nodded. "Remember when I mentioned my sword? Do you think I left it there simply on a whim?! Or do you think that I wanted for you morons to find it and bring back to this world?! If you do, then let me tell you, you are absolutely… right."
"Huh?" Kurenai looked at him in confusion. "But why?"
"Now that's what I was waiting for, an interesting question!" The demon stated. "You see, before starting to try and take out one world I needed to isolate it from the other. And since humans are just so damn stupid, I decided to take out the Netherworld first. Do you think I was right, Ay-chan?"
"You…"
"It doesn't matter what you think!" Naruto interrupted. "The fact of the matter is this, jabroni, I needed to separate one world from the other without revealing the information about my miraculous survival. So I said what the fuck, why should I even try if you are pretty capable of doing all the work for me?! And…"
"What the hell are you talking about, Uzumaki?!" Ay exclaimed. "Have you finally lost it?!"
Naruto was about to respond when…
"Seeing as Naruto-sama was not done speaking…" Hanabi suddenly spoke. "You should know your role and shut your mouth!"
Naruto's jaw fell. "A-A-A..." He pointed at Hanabi.
"Yes, she did say that." Kurenai confirmed.
"Shit… Well anyway, I left Yamato in that crater for one reason, and one reason only." The demon stated. "It was for you morons to find it and bring it back in this world."
Pure confusion graced Raikage's face…
"Still don't get it? Alright, I'll explain." Naruto continued. "You see, Yamato is not your average sword. It is the only weapon in existence that can open the Hell Gate. But if that is a rather common fact, no one knows that it can actually seal off that same gate, denying entrance to both sides. And the only condition needed to achieve that is… What? Take a guess?"
Silence.
"Damn you're slow! It's for the weapon and its master to be in different worlds! And when you brought Yamato here, you just did the hardest job for me!" The demon laughed. "Hell, you were so happy celebrating my death that you've never even considered what can happen in another world for the entire month!"
Raikage's eyes widened. "You… You destroyed the Netherworld…"
"What?! Of course not!" Naruto responded. "I simply destroyed those damn animals who called themselves 'Clans'. Without them you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"
"Oh, I beg to differ, Uzumaki!" Ay stated. "Can't you see thousands of men that surround you?!"
The blond looked around. "Yep, I do… so?"
"So?!" The Kumo leader snapped at him. "You have no army this time, Uzumaki! It was foolish to come here alone!"
Naruto shrugged and drank from his can. "Yeah, stupid me…"
"Enough! Samui, code 271! You know what to do!"
"Hai!" The blond captain nodded and disappeared in a puff of smoke along with her team.
"Ho?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You even have a plan for a situation like this?!"
"Don't underestimate me, Uzumaki!" The Raikage exclaimed. "Even while I was still under your control I wanted to make sure you can be disposed off in case you ever turn on Kumo or me." He grinned. "Fortunately… or unfortunately in your case, I found just the thing."
"Such a shame…" The demon replied, still not impressed in the slightest.
"Fuck you!" Ay shouted again, powering up his lightning armor. "I won't let you make a fool out of me!"
Naruto snorted. "Too late for that buddy…"
"Darui, come with me! We're going to retrieve it!" The Raikage commanded and pointed at his enemies. "The rest of you, stall them!" He added and jumped away with Darui in tow.
"Hai, Raikage-sama!"
Kurenai grinned evilly. "That's nice. I was getting tired of looking at his fucking face."
"Hell yeah!" Hanabi exclaimed happily. "This is what I was waiting for! Let's kick ass…"
"Whow, whow, whow! Hold it!" Naruto raised his hands.
Everybody looked at him in confusion.
"Say…" The demon began, turning to Kurenai. "What's wrong with me?"
"Huh?" The kunoichi tilted her head to the side.
"Yeah, well according to Naruto's Rolex it's already time to kick ass just as Hanabi said, but… I feel there is something missing…" Naruto said and looked at himself. "Let's see… pants – check, boots – check, jacket – not for long but check, balls…" He looked down in his pants and smirked. "Haha, check! Sunglasses – check, and… Oh, I know what's missing!"
"And?" Kurenai asked.
Naruto's smirk widened as he simply raised his left hand… and summoned Yamato to his side.
"Can you say it again, Hanabi?"
"Fuck yeah! Let's kick ass!"
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Fucking shit!"
"Calm down." Orochimaru replied. "The last thing we need is panic. But still we must act quickly. First…"
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"Oh, Tsunade-sama, you're back!" Shizune said, entering the office. "I did not expect you so soo…"
"Shut up!" The blond Hokage snapped at her apprentice. "Get the fuck out of here and bring Kakashi, Danzou and Nara Shikaku!"
Shizune only stared at her in confusion.
"Are you deaf or what?!" Tsunade exclaimed. "I gave you the order and you will do it now or I will find myself another assistant!"
"B-But…"
"NOW!"
"Come on…" Orochimaru took Shizune's hand and almost dragged her out of the office. "I'll explain everything as we walk."
"What happened, Orochimaru-sama?" The black haired medic asked. "Did something go wrong at the event?"
"Yeah, something's gone ridiculously wrong…" Orochimaru spat.
"It can't be that bad… can it?" The girl asked carefully.
"That depends…" The snake master responded. "Do you think anything can be worse than Uzumaki's return?"
Shizune stopped dead in her tracks.
"Why the hell are you stopping?!" Orochimaru turned around… "We must…" …And words died in his throat when he noticed the look on Shizune's face. "Oh dammit…"
"No…" She whispered quietly.
Flashback…
"Tsunade-sama! I as well…" Shizune stepped forward.
"You still don't get it?!" Naruto interrupted her. "You do not fight me." Then in a quick burst of speed, he appeared right in front of Hokage's first apprentice and stabbed Yamato right into her chest. "I fight you."
"Shizune!" The Hokage screamed.
"T-Tsunade-s-sama…" Shizune muttered as her knees started to weaken.
"Useless." Naruto said, withdrawing his sword and sheathing it in one swift move. Without any form of support, the girl fell down on the ground, as blood flowed out of her like a river.
End flashback…
"No… No…" Shizume mumbled again and again.
"Hey, snap out of it, girl!" Orochimaru grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. "I know you're scared, I know you almost died. But if you don't want for that to happen again, we must act now!"
The girl clenched her fists. "H-Hai! Let's hurry, Orochimaru-sama!"
The snake sannin smirked. "That's the spirit!"
Sunagakure no sato. Kazekage's mansion…
"Temari!" Gaara shouted, appearing in his house with still unconscious Hinata in his arms. "Temari! Dammit, get your ass over here!"
"Gaara? What's wro…?" Suna kunoichi appeared in the doorframe. "What happened?!"
"Temari?" Another female voice sounded. "Is everything alright?"
The Kazekage looked at his sister. "What's she doing here?"
"Oh, Ino? She's…"
"I joined the Order." The Yamanaka girl explained herself. "With both my teammates and my sensei killed I… I just couldn't stay in Konoha. And the Order… they avenged their deaths, so I joined them as a sign of gratitude."
"There, she explained." Temari spoke. "Now you explain."
Gaara laid Hinata down on the couch and walked to the window.
"It's him, Temari… He's back."
"Who's back?" Ino asked.
"A person believed to be dead for two months…"
"Oh my god!" Temari shouted, covering her mouth with her hands.
Gaara turned around to look at their expression. Temari's was just what he expected. And Ino's… well, he just couldn't place what he saw in her eyes at that moment.
"Yes, Naruto is alive." The Kazekage stated. "He appeared in Kumo and interrupted the final execution."
"What about Hinata?" Ino asked.
"He attacked her by surprise and knocked her out." He sighed. "I'm glad he didn't kill her straight of the bat…"
"We…" Temari began. "Gaara, we must inform the Order right now!"
"I'll do that!" Ino stated. "You have enough problems as it is."
Gaara nodded. "That would be appreciated."
Ino nodded back and ran out of the room.
"Gaara…" Temari whispered when Ino left. "What will happen to Kumo?"
"I… I try not to think about it…"
Sunagakure no sato. Order of the Sword's headquarters…
"Let us pray!"
"Your Holiness!" Ino ran into the church, interrupting Sanctus's preaching. "I'm sorry for interrupting…"
"It's nothing, my child." The old man stated. "Tell me what happened."
Ino hesitated. "I… I'm afraid we'll need more privacy for it."
Sanctus looked displeased. "Can it wait?"
"I'm sorry, master, but no. This is a matter of grave importance!"
The Order leader sighed again. "Very well. Gather everyone in the meeting room, I will be there shortly." He turned to the crowd. "I'm very sorry, my children. Please return tomorrow so we can finish."
"Yes, Your Holiness!"
Inner Sanctum…
"What is she doing here?" Misako asked, pointing at Ino. "She's just a recruit! Why must she be allowed into the inner circle?"
"Calm down, my child." Sanctus replied. "Ino has already proven her usefulness, besides; she has something very important to tell us, right Ino?"
"T-T-This is better to be important." Agnus hissed. "I was in the m-m-middle of an important experiment."
"Calm down, Agnus." The Order leader spoke again. "Ino?"
The blond kunoichi nodded. "According to Godaime Kazekage… Uzumaki Naruto has returned."
Three seconds of silence…
"WHAT?!"
"Silence!" Sanctus shouted, trying to suppress his anger. "If this is a joke, my child…"
"I don't think it is." Ino replied. "The Kazekage returned much earlier than expected, and he was carrying Hyuga Hinata who was unconscious at the moment. Gaara-san stated that it was Naruto who knocked her out."
The old man gritted his teeth. "Where is he? In Kumo?"
"I believe so." Ino nodded. "Should we prepare our troops for transportation?"
Sanctus paused. "No, we shouldn't."
"B-But your Holiness…!" Misako tried to argue, but he quickly raised his hand dismissing her.
"If Uzumaki Naruto is alive, then this time he will be prepared for us." The Order leader stated. "We have lost our element of surprise, so we cannot take this matter lightly."
"Then we shouldn't." Credo said. "I can mobilize all my men within fifteen minutes."
"Oh? And what will you d-d-do then, you hard-headed id-d-diot?!" Agnus mocked.
"You dare to mock me?!"
"How can I call you anything else when you can't realize the simplest things?"
"What things?"
"Tsk." Agnus grinned. "That unlike you and your men, our knights and the Savior won't be able to use instant Transportation!"
"Tch." Credo scowled. "So you suggest we sit this one down and do nothing?!"
"No." Surprisingly it came from Ino. "We must prepare. Because from what I know about Naruto, that son of a bitch is not the one to forget grudges easily. With that being said, I think Suna will be next on his list simply because our headquarters is here…"
"Who are you to order us around…?!" Misako snapped at her.
"Enough." Sanctus interrupted. "She may be a new member of our Order, but that doesn't mean she can't give a suggestion. Besides, I agree with Ino completely on this. Uzumaki will strike Sunagakure not only because we humbled him once, but also because…" His eyes widened suddenly. "Agnus!"
"Y-Yes, Your Holiness?" The dark skinned scientist replied.
"Check on Yamato! NOW!"
Kumogakure no sato…
"BITCH!" Naruto heard the second Yamato appeared in his hand. "You selfish miserable good for nothing cock-sucking, ass-licking, shit-eating son of a BITCH!"
'Haha!' Naruto grinned. 'I'm happy to see you too, buddy!'
"Fuck you, buddy!" The demon blade replied. "You know what, I take it back! Being son of a bitch is too good for you. You're son of a… son of a…"
'Well?'
"Son of a… Sakura!"
Naruto flinched. 'Ouch! That's insulting. What did I do to deserve this?'
"You! You asshole!" Yamato stated. "You left me there in a crater and went off to kill millions…!"
Pause.
"And millions of demons without me!"
'Oh…'
"Yes! And while you were having fun, I was in some fucking tube, almost being dissected by some freak!"
The Overlord grinned. 'Don't worry, I will stick you right up his ass the moment I see him…"
"NO!" Yamato interrupted. "Whatever you do, don't do that! I'd rather see the insides of Orochimaru's ass than that guy…"
'That bad?' Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You'd better not to know…"
'I see… Well, old friend, what do you say we kill some people? Look, there is one right there…' Naruto thought, looking up calmly.
Indeed, there was a shinobi who was descending at him, trying to cut him down in two with his broadsword.
"I'd say about damn ti…"
"Byakurai!"
"Wha…?" Naruto asked in confusion.
"Are you going to stand there all night?! Or maybe you will finally do something?!" Hanabi yelled at him, killing one enemy after another with peerless juuken strikes.
"Eh?"
Apparently while he was talking to his sword the battle was already going. And for some unknown reason enemy shinobi tried their hardest to avoid him, attacking Hanabi or Kurenai instead.
Naruto had other plans though…
"Yeah, sorry. I kind of spaced out…" He stated.
"Couldn't you find a better time?!" Kurenai scolded. "Tsukiyomi!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" A group of shinobi in front of her commited a group suicide.
"Ho, not bad!" Naruto commented. "My turn!" He jumped high in the air. "Blood Fest!"
"Ahhh!" Enemies screamed, falling underground.
"No, help!"
"I don't want to die like this!"
"Who's asking your candy ass?! Medigo Flame!"
BLAST.
"What the…?!" Naruto wondered in confusion, still falling down. Despite him taking out enemy forces in dozens, they were still ignoring him aiming for Hanabi and Kurenai.
"No, you fucking attack me!" He shouted. "Rapid Slash!" The demon landed and instantly ran forward, cutting everything and everyone in his path.
"N-Naruto!" Kurenai exclaimed. "They're overwhelming! We won't be able to hold on much longer!"
"Tch." He scowled and teleported beside the two of them. "Fucking assholes. With you two around my power is limited…"
"Huff… huff…" Hanabi was showing first signs of exhaustion. "Motherfuckers are trying to take us out first! We should…" Her eyes widened suddenly. "Watch out, Kurenai!"
"Huh?" The red eyed kunoichi turned around. A single Kumo jounin with an axe was inches away from her and she was in no position to defend. "D-Dammit!" Kurenai brought her hands up in defense against the incoming slash, but…
BANG.
…Suddenly her attacker's brains were flying away.
Kurenai sighed in relief. "Thanks, Naruto…"
"Umm… wasn't me…" He replied. "Where is… Ah, there you are! What took you so long dammit?!"
The battle stilled for a second. Kurenai turned her head and saw a man dressed in a red cloak and a red hat standing on the hill.
"Hmhmhm…" Said man chuckled, lowering his smoking gun. "Well, a cat tried to cross my path…" He started, walking towards Naruto through enemy lines like they weren't there at all. "So I started to shoot at it with my gun, but the damn cat just kept running around the trees evading my bullets. So I called my familiars…"
Naruto sweatdropped. "Familiars… against a cat… You know, the only cat that could do something like this was killed by me personally. She's the witness." He pointed at Hanabi.
"Yeah, that's true." The girl nodded, confirming his words.
"Besides, I never knew you believed in omens…"
"Hmhmhm…" The stranger chuckled again and smiled maniacally. "Who said anything about omens?! I just wanted to kill it!" He suddenly pointed his gun at nearby shinobi's head and pulled the trigger.
BANG.
"What are you waiting for?!" Someone shouted. "Kill this clown!"
"A clown… It has been some time since anyone mocked me like this…"
"Die!" A young Kumo shinobi appeared in front of him and stabbed the stranger through the heart with his sword. "Heh, loser!" Same ninja added with a grin.
"A pleasure to meet you, loser…"
Young man's eyes widened and he slowly raised his head to look in stranger's mad eyes… his mad red eyes.
The stranger's grin widened, showing his inhuman teeth. "You may call me Alucard."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The young man screamed at the top of his lungs when Alucard leaned down and bit him right on the neck.
Everyone took several steps back from him immediately.
"W-What is he doing?" Hanabi asked in shock.
Naruto shrugged. "What does it look like he's doing?! He's drinking that guy's blood."
"B-But why?" This time it was Kurenai.
"Dunno, ask him."
"I'd rather not…" The kunoichi muttered quietly.
"Hn." Alucard dropped a bloodless body to the ground.
"Well?" Naruto asked.
"Could be better." Alucard stated.
"I take it you two know each other…" Kurenai concluded.
"You damn right I know that blood sucking son of a bitch!"
"Hmhmhm…" Alucard chuckled, appearing in front of Naruto in an instant. "It's still better than that shit you're drinking!"
Naruto's eyebrows rose. "Don't you dare insult cola! It's the best drink in the world!"
"Keep dreaming, blood is best!" Alucard stated.
"Umm…" Kurenai tried to intervene, but to no avail.
"Cola!"
"Blood!"
"COLA!"
"BLOOD!"
"FUCK YOU!" Two men shouted at the same time and pointed their guns at each-other's heads.
BANG.
Two shots happened at the same time, leaving both Naruto and Alucard lying on the ground with a hole in the forehead… and insane smiles on their faces.
"Naruto!" Kurenai shouted.
"T-they killed themselves…" Someone from Kumo mumbled.
"Hm… Hmhmhm…" Echoed from Alucard's body.
"Hmhmhahahahaha…" Naruto's laugh escaped his throat.
"So?
"Uh-huh…"
"Time to start?"
"I guess…"
"Well then…" Alucard raised his hands in front of his face. Each hand had a white glove with a pentagram on it… "Invocation of Cromwell confirmed. Levels three two and one released. Releasing Restraint Control Technique System 2. Situation A."
Naruto grinned, watching how everything darkened and many eyes started to appear.
"Damn, how can you remember all this crap?!" He asked in amusement. "No matter, time to take this up a notch, ne?"
With Raikage…
"Faster, Darui! We don't have much time; I bet Uzumaki has already started the battle!"
"Hai, Raikage-sa…" Darui stopped in mid sentence. "Wait, look there!"
Ay stopped in his tracks and looked where Darui pointed. What he saw made his heart skip a beat. A cloud of some dark mist was where the central square used to be. But that was not what shocked him so much, it was his people…
They were fleeing.
"What the fuck is going on?!" He asked in anger and… disappointment.
"I… I don't know…" Darui muttered. Of course, despite his absence at Iwa during the final battle, he too heard countless stories about how unbelievingly strong Uzumaki Naruto was or how hard it was to take him down and how many people died to achieve that. And yet, no one ran that time…
Unlike now.
Darui looked at his running colleagues' faces and saw nothing but pure fear.
'What could scare them so much?' He thought.
"Oi!" The Raikage grabbed one of the fleeing shinobi and slammed him into a wall. "What the hell is happening?! Who ordered the retreat?!"
His subordinate stared back at him with horror and desperation.
"R-Raikage-s-sama…" He said and seemingly regained some senses. "Raikage-sama!" The jounin shouted. "This is insanity! Please, you must do something! They…"
"What?" Ay asked again. "What did Uzumaki do?! And what is that cloud?!"
"Uz-zumaki…?" Scared shinobi stuttered. "Y-Yes, there was Uzumaki. He started to kill…"
Ay's eyes narrowed at this, but before he could say anything…
"But then HE came!" The jounin continued. "H-He is not dying! We tried everything, cut him, burn him, even drown him! He's not dying as if he just can't! And then he… he started eating! Oh, dear Kami-sama, he started to eat our men and drink their blood, it was terrible…!"
Darui's jaw fell. "He can't be serious… can he?"
The Raikage gritted his teeth. "That must've been not the most pleasant sight to behold, but I don't see the reason for fleeing. Don't tell me you all afraid of death so much…"
"NO!" The jounin interrupted with pure horror in his voice. "You don't understand!" He shouted. "The people he ate… or drank… or even bit! They all became monsters, and they turned on us! I… I don't want to become one of these! It's better to just die!"
The Kumo leader looked back at the cloud. 'What the fuck is going on there?!'
And just as he thought that, a single shinobi ran up the building escaping the cloud. He had the same look the guy he just caught had few minutes ago. But shortly after he did that, something distantly reminding a dog caught up to him… and swallowed him whole.
"What the fu…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The jounin screamed. "That's him, run!" He somehow got out of Raikage's grip and left in the opposite direction.
"Tch." Ay scowled.
"What are we going to do, Raikage-sama?" Darui asked.
"What else?!" The Kumo leader jumped off towards the cloud. "Keep up, Darui!"
"Hai!"
Inside the cloud…
"Oi, Naruto?"
SLASH.
"What?" The demon asked, trying to clean his wing from blood.
"Catch!" Alucard shouted, throwing something at Naruto.
"Woah!" The blond barely caught said object and looked at it. "A head…" He concluded.
Indeed it was a head. A torn off head of a man.
"So? What's your point?"
The vampire grinned. "A virgin."
Naruto looked back at the head. "No shit?! I mean he's what, thirty…"
"Forty two." Alucard stated. "A really bad case…"
Suddenly they were interrupted.
"Oi, you two!"
It was Kurenai. She has found a katana somewhere and was now slicing people down with its help.
"Oh, what's up?"
"Let's wrap this up, Naruto!" She shouted. "Unlike you I have a limited amount of chakra and…"
"Actually I don't have any chakra at all. But I see your point, we just have to…"
"Uzumaki!"
"Ah!" Naruto smiled happily, hearing an all too familiar voice. "Raikage-chan, just the man I was dying to see!"
"What have you done to my men?!" Ay yelled in anger.
"Who, me?!" Naruto tried to look innocent… and failed. No wonder, with horns on his head… "I did absolutely nothing… except killing them of course. But if you mean these guys…" He pointed at obviously dead people in Kumo uniform… who were just as obviously disagree with the fact that they're dead and were eagerly attacking their own forces.
"Well, that's not my job, it's his." The demon pointed at Alucard, who was now standing beside him grinning like a maniac.
"Good evening, Raikage-sam… Did I say that right?"
"No, it's 'san', not 'sam'…"
"Well…"
"Time, Naruto!" Kurenai reminded.
"Fine, Fine!" Naruto scowled. "Damn woman, spoiling all the fun. So, which one do you want?"
"Hmm, I think I'll take the fat one…"
"Well, in that case…"
"Stop!" Darui suddenly stepped in front of his leader. "Uzumaki Naruto, I never trusted you!"
"Darui…" Ay muttered.
Naruto and Alucard just glanced at each other with a raised eyebrow.
"And even when we Kumo were on your side I always tried to rally up people against you. I wanted to challenge you to a battle, but I had no proof of your treachery. If I did…"
"Whow, hold it…" Naruto raised his hand, interrupting Darui's rant. "Just one question, pal… Who in the blue hell are you?!"
Young man's eyes narrowed. "My name is Darui, and I am Raikage-sama's right hand!"
"I see." Naruto nodded in satisfaction. "You're the guy who helps him to jerk off!"
The Raikage gritted his teeth. "How dare you insult my…"
"Well, he did call himself a right hand…" Alucard explained.
"Exactly. Hey, catch!" Naruto exclaimed and threw a thorn off head he was still holding at Darui… And when he caught it. "It was nice knowing you…"
The young man only had the time to widen his eyes before…
"KATSU!"
BLAST.
The head exploded, creating a large cloud of smoke.
"Cough… Cough… Damn, as if we hadn't enough already…"
"NO!" Ay shouted. Apparently because of his lightning armor he was almost unharmed by the explosion. "Darui! You killed him!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What did you think I would do, buy him flowers?!"
"UZUMAKI!" The Raikage screamed in rage and… removed a sword from his back.
Naruto's smirk faded immediately.
"Go help the girls."
"Oh? And why should I?" Alucard replied.
"Because I asked."
"And the magic word?" The vampire said grinning.
"Cola." Naruto stated. "Now go."
Alucard's grin fell. "Fuck you and your cola…" He muttered, walking away.
"Ah, so you know." Ay stated with a grin. "About my sword here, right?"
Demon's eyes narrowed.
"That's it, Naruto." Yamato commented. "Alastor, a sword of darkness like myself."
"Realized, haven't you?!" The Raikage continued. "Yes, this weapon can kill even bastards like you!"
"Where did you get this?" Naruto asked through gritted teeth. "I thought it was lost…"
"Oh, it was!" The Kumo leader exclaimed. "But it was found by dragons of ancient times. And as a token of their great will and as a gratitude for taking you down the sword was given to me!"
'Son of a bitch… Still…' The demon smirked. "Well congratulations! But you should know better than anybody that a sword alone is not enough to take me down."
Ay's grin widened. "Maybe…" He said, activating his lightning armor. "But aren't you forgetting something Uzumaki?! Alastor is a sword with full power of lightning inside! And in the hands of a strong lightning user like myself…" With that Ay raised the sword above his head, covering it in lightning completely.
"Grr…" Naruto growled. "I should've killed you years ago!"
"You've lost your chance, demon!" The Raikage stated. "And you won't be able to trick me again, I got your secret!" He said, making Naruto look at him in confusion. "You are using genjutsu by injecting some of your demon energy into your targets, but my lightning armor, combined with Alastor's energy, won't let it through! So if I keep it on all the time, you won't be able to trick me with your phantoms!"
The Overlord only glared at him silently.
"This is it, Uzumaki! No more games, no more tricks, no more running! Let's finish it the old fashioned way! Man against man, one on one, sword against sword!"
"So you want a sword fight?!" Naruto unsheathed his katana and threw the scabbard away. "Then bring it, bitch!"
With that two warriors ran at each other and…
CLASH.
Two blades collided, creating a blinding flash of light.
"You know, I was the only one who was sad about your death!" Ay stated. "That was not the end you should have!"
"Oh, how sweet! I didn't know you care!" Naruto replied, pushing his enemy away and breaking the deadlock.
"Tch." The Raikage gritted his teeth and lunged at Naruto again. Among humans his speed was unmatched… Among demons however…
CLASH.
"Oh? Not bad!" The dark skinned man stated, pushing down with one hand. "Let's see how you handle this!" He shouted and started to bring his sword down again and again on his enemy.
"Hey, look there!" Naruto suddenly pointed his finger to his right… and the Raikage looked.
BLAST.
The Kage tower exploded, creating a massive impact.
"Grr, you will pay for that, Uzumaki!" Ay exclaimed, continuing his attack.
"Sure, do you take credit cards?!" Naruto mocked, sidestepping Ay's vertical slash and kicking him with a roundhouse kick to the face.
"Gh!" The Kumo leader grunted, lashing out with his blade again. But Naruto sidestepped it once more, kneeing his opponent in the gut, and following with a mighty uppercut to the face.
"Ho? Old age is finally getting to you?" Naruto mocked again, but his eyebrows rose when his enemy disappeared with a lightning spark. 'Raiton Bunshin?'
"Die!" Ay shouted from behind. "Girochin Doroppu!"
"Yeow!" The attack was so sudden that Naruto could only block… and he did it with his blade. No, Yamato didn't break, but Ay's heel drop was so strong that it actually made Naruto fall down.
"Oh wait, wait!" The demon raised his hands in defense when Raikage was about to bring Alastor down on him again. "Look there!" He pointed… and Ay looked once more.
And… nothing. Except…
"Sucker." Naruto immediately got to his feet and delivered a hard spinning heel kick to Ay's abdomen. "To trust your enemy like that…"
"Damn you!" The dark skinned man yelled, attacking the demon with a blurry of sword strikes.
Naruto on his side actually found it… challenging. Ay's strikes were strong and his speed was great. And despite him using only one hand to swing his sword, Naruto was holding his with two.
"What's the matter, Uzumaki?!" The Raikage yelled, blurring out of view… and appearing behind the Overlord. "Can't keep up?!"
"Damn." Naruto hissed, somersaulting forward… But when he landed…
"Too slow!" Ay was already there.
Naruto's eyes widened. "Fast…"
The next moment the Kumo leader grabbed Naruto by the face and ran towards the nearby building.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He shouted, ramming demon's head through a stone wall. "Not yet!" Ay grabbed Naruto with both hands. "Raiga Bomu!"
IMPACT.
"Guoh!"
"This is your end, Uzumaki!" The Raikage picked up Alastor and escaped the house. "Sword of Darkness, show me your power!" He brought his blade over his head and a long beam appeared out of it.
"Farevell." Ay finally spoke, bringing his sword down…
CRASH.
The building collapsed, burying Naruto under its weight.
"Huff… Huff…" The Kumo leader panted. "I did it…"
"Did what?" Was suddenly heard from behind.
Ay's eyes widened in shock, and without even looking who it was he span around, doing a horizontal slash with his sword… but…
CLANG.
…His eyes widened even more when it was blocked by a gauntlet on Naruto's left hand.
"H-How…?"
"Hmhmhm…" The demon chuckled. "You didn't actually believe that I was scared, didn't you?"
Silence.
"You did?! Damn, you're slow!"
"B-But the sword…!"
Naruto grinned and simply wrapped the fingers of his left hand around the blade of said sword, holding it in place firmly.
"Huh, what about it?!" The Overlord mocked. "A sword? Yes. A powerful sword? Yes. A sword, powerful enough to bring down the toughest son of a bitch?! Hell no! It was actually fun to see that hopeful look in your eyes when I was 'struggling' against your attacks."
"But the dragons said…"
"It doesn't matter what they said!" Naruto shouted. "They told you some bullshit and you believed. That's why I always said you were slow. Because if that sword is as great as they said, then why didn't they use it against me back in the Netherworld?!"
Ay's eyes widened in realization.
"Ah, I see you finally got it, but…" Naruto brought his katana diagonally upwards, cutting the Raikage across the chest. "It's too late for you, Ay-chan."
"Gah!" Said man fell on one knee, inspecting a large gash on his body. "I won't… go down… Kumogakure is… Guah!"
"Dead." Naruto stated, grabbing his enemy by the throat. "Well, will be soon anyway. But first…" His eyes blazed with fire. "I have a little something, just for you!" The demon added, throwing the Raikage high up in the air.
"Kh! I'm not down yet, Uzumaki!" Ay shouted, bringing Alastor in front of himself after regaining his balance.
Next second Naruto appeared in front of him in a flash of black.
"Yep, you can guard against me…" The Overlord grinned and suddenly another nine Naruto copies appeared in air around him. "But can you do that against all of us?!" They said at the same time. "This is for you, pal! Omnislash!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The Kumo leader screamed when his body was sliced time and time again.
"Don't forget to spit in god's face for me." A single Naruto added, picking Ay by the throat and threw him down on the ground with all his might.
On the ground…
"Cough… cough…" The Raikage was slowly crawling out of the crater, created by his own body. "Cough… Dammit…"
"So you are still alive I see…" Naruto said landing.
"Tch." The dark skinned man just continued to crawl.
"I have to admit, you are one tough son of a bitch." The demon continued. "But I just want to know one thing before I send you in the afterlife… what was it?"
The Raikage stopped. "You…" He got up on his knees and turned around. "What are you talking about?"
"The genjutsu…" Naruto explained. "What made it disperse?"
Ay glared at him. "How dare you to even ask this?! You did it!"
Naruto tilted his head to the side. "Huh?"
"You killed him, you killed my brother!"
Now that caused Naruto to raise not one, but both eyebrows. "I beg you pardon?"
"I've been told! You took his soul!"
"Gh… Gh… GHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The demon laughed madly. "Oh damn, I should've known…"
"What, are you going to deny this?!"
"Haha… No, no I'm not." He grinned. "But let me just tell you a little story about your dear brother. You see, unlike you, dumb imbecile, Kirabi was behind me all the way. He followed me on his own damn will…"
"That's a lie!" The Raikage shouted. "Kirabi would've never…"
"What, betray you?! Betray Kumo?!" Naruto interrupted. "What did Kumo ever give him, huh? Beside loathing I mean…"
"Bullshit! Everyone here respected him, we…"
"Sure you did… But only after he proved his worth for all of you. But me? Eh-eh! I never asked for him to prove anything! I told him and he understood… he understood that your world have no future. That is why I'm going to destroy it."
"Fuck you! That still doesn't cancel the fact that you killed him."
"Yep, I did… one of the toughest decisions in my life. Do you know why I did it? That was because he asked me to, you idiot!"
Rakiage's eyes widened.
"What, surprised?! I was too… But I still did it, because I understood him just like he understood me back in the beginning. He asked me to drain his soul so his power won't go to waste, so he would forever live as a part of me. And if you want to look for his real killers, ask your new Konoha friends!"
Ay just stared silently into space.
"Fascinating!" Naruto stated. "Man, do I enjoy breaking people like that! But…" He raised his hand again. "Time to close the curtains, Raikage-chan. I will really miss your stupid face…"
But the Kumo leader suddenly grinned.
The Overlord raised an eyebrow. "Huh? What are you smiling about?"
Ay spat some blood. "Looks like… it's a checkmate, idiot…"
Naruto tilted his head to the side. 'What the hell is this moron talking about?!'
Suddenly…
"Naruto-sama!"
He heard Hanabi's voice and looked over his shoulder.
"Huh, what?"
But to his surprise there was no Hanabi. Instead there were Samui and another dark skinned girl from before… and in front of them was some pot…
Ay's grin widened. "Game over, Uzumaki!"
And just as he said that, Naruto was instantly sucked into said pot.
"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…!" He only managed to scream before his body disappeared completely.
"Huff…" Ay sighed heavily, falling over.
"Raikage-sama!" Two girls ran up to him immediately. "You are hurt badly! Please don't try to move!"
"It's okay, Samui… cough…" He replied. "We… cough… we did it. This time we got him for good."
"Yes, we understand, Raikage-sama." Samui said. "But still you shouldn't move right now. We'll take you to a safe place…"
Suddenly…
"Raikage-sama!"
Ay's eyes widened. "D-Darui?"
Indeed, the swordsman was back. Though he was bleeding heavily and his left hand was twisted in a very unnatural way.
"Hai."
The Raikage sighed in relief. "Thank god you're alive…"
"Here, let me help you, my lord." Darui said, getting under Ay's right shoulder.
"No, wait! We must finish this fight!" The Kumo leader stated. "Samui, Karui! Find my sword!"
"Hai, Raikage-sama!" Two girls ran off.
"So… you really got him, Raikage-sama…" Darui began. "Was it very hard?"
"It was…" Ay admitted. "He took everything I had to offer and shrugged it off like it was nothing. You can say anything you want about this man, but you can't change the fact that he's incredibly strong and powerful…"
"You forgot handsome, wise and downright awesome…" Darui suddenly exclaimed.
Ay slowly turned to his subordinate in slight shock. "Darui?"
"Hmm?"
"What was the last thing I said to you before we left my office?"
"Ahaha…" Darui smiled sheepishly. "Aha umm… ups! Alright, you got me here." He then dropped Raikage down and twisted his hand back in place.
"N-No! That's not possible!" Ay shouted. "I saw you got sealed!"
'Darui' grinned evilly. "Are you so sure about that? After all, your lightning armor is long gone… Raikage-sama." He said, causing the Kumo leader to gasp in shock.
"Raikage-sama!" Samui's voice sounded from behind him. "We have your sword…"
"No!" Ay interrupted them. "Run, this is not…!"
But he never got the chance to finish because…
"Byakurai!" A lightning bolt pierced Karui's throat from behind.
"Karui!" The blond kunoichi ran up to her subordinate… or tried to run. Because Hanabi suddenly appeared in her path and struck Samui in the heart with juuken.
"All Naruto-sama's enemies shall die!" The girl stated.
"Hmhmhm…" 'Darui' chuckled, turning back to the Raikage. "You see, old man, everything was in vain because…" But he stopped in mid sentence when he noticed the absence of his enemy. "Huh?"
"Raigyaku Suihei!"
"Kyah!"
'Darui' slowly turned around. There lied Hanabi flat on her chest… and that chest was not moving. And there sat Raikage. He was panting heavily, but he still had a very satisfied look on his face.
"Heh… hahah!" Ay laughed. "Looks like I couldn't take you down… Huff… But at least I will deny you your prize!"
'Darui's face twisted in anger and after a quick burst of flames it was Naruto's face.
"Not so happy now, eh Uzumaki?"
Anger and hatred were quickly overcoming Naruto's other senses. He then quickly teleported to Raikage's position, grabbed him by the face, and slammed said face hard into the ground.
"Gh… Gh!" A sheathed Yamato appeared in his left hand.
"Naruto, calm down! Kill him because of joy, not anger!"
The demon pointed Yamato's tip at Ay's throat… but then stopped.
"No, that won't do." He sheathed his sword and went to Hanabi… to notice that she was in fact alive. "Alucard! Get your ass over here, now!"
"What?" The vampire appeared in a swarm of bats. "I was having my way with…"
"Your party is over." Naruto interrupted. "Where is Kurenai?"
"I'm here." The red eyed kunoichi said, landing beside him. "I saw Alucard disappear and immediately went to search for you… Oh my god, what happened to Hanabi?!" She kneeled in front of her new best friend. "All ribs are broken… several organs have been punctured. We need to do something quick!"
"We will." The Overlord pointed his finger. "Now gather around." He said and everyone came closer. "As for you… No, killing you won't be enough! Before that you will see everything you care about die! Crimson Flare!"
Ay's eyes widened as he looked up at the red sky. "Oh no… Uzumaki, please don't! You will kill millions; there are many people outside of Kumo shinobi forces here! They don't deserve this!"
"What a shame. I guess it's up to god to decide. KATSU!"
Sunagakure no sato. The Order of the Sword headquarters…
"Y-Y-Your Holiness! It's gone! Yamato is gone!" A very disturbed Agnus yelled, bursting into the chamber.
"Oh my god… What now, master?" Misako asked.
Old man's fists clenched. "This isn't over, Uzumaki! This is just the beginning!"
Kumogakure… or what's left…
"No…" Ay whispered in desperation.
"Quick!" Naruto shouted. "Alucard, do it!" He shouted, pointing at Hanabi's unmoving body.
The vampire raised an eyebrow. "Eh? Is she a virgin?"
"No, but…"
"Then you know it's useless. I can't make her a vampire, she will turn in a ghoul…"
"Shut up and do it!" Naruto said through gritted teeth. "I've got a plan."
"Hn." Alucard exclaimed. "Very well. But don't say I didn't warn you." With that he kneeled in front of dying girl and bit her on the neck.
"W-What's he doing?" Kurenai asked in confusion.
"Trying to prevent her from dying…" He said, unsheathing Yamato. "Watch Raikage-chan for me. If he even does as much as twitch…" The demon shoved Alastor in her hands. "Cut him to fucking pieces."
"Okay…" The kunoichi responded. "But what are you…?"
Ignoring her words, Naruto cut his own wrist open and kneeled too. 'Let's hope this works…' He thought, opening Hanabi's throat…
"What the fuck are you doing?!" Alucard suddenly shouted. "Are you insane?! Your blood is…"
"Don't stop now!" The Overlord responded and closed his eyes. 'Tell me it's not too late…'
Hanabi's mindscape...
"I always wondered if there will be another severs…" Naruto said looking around. But unfortunately to him it wasn't. What he saw now was something alike of a castle… or maybe a dungeon. No windows, no furniture, no decorations. Just a labyrinth with stone grey walls.
"Okay, I bet the place is the same…" He muttered, walking in the direction where Kyuubi's cage was in his mind.
And soon enough…
"Ah, there you are." The demon stated.
There in a large room was Hanabi. Unlike him, she was not dressed at all. She was only lying on the cold stone floor, pressing her knees to her chest, and shivering madly.
"Cold…" The girl whispered quietly. "Where am I…? Why is it so cold…?"
"Easy, girl…" Naruto spoke, picking her up bridal style.
"What's happening to me…? Who are you?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at this. "Huh? Forgot me already?"
Hanabi slowly looked at his face. "N-Naruto-sama…"
"Yep, the one and only."
"Naruto-sama… Why is it so cold?"
The demon sighed. "That's because you're dying, Hanabi…"
"I'm dying…" She repeated.
"Yeah… Sad, isn't it?"
Hanabi said nothing and Naruto sighed. "Look here, girl, do you want to live?"
"What do you think?" Hanabi said with obvious sarcasm in her voice.
The blond grinned. "I think you do, and that's good. Because you see, we are trying to break every law of the Underworld right now."
Hanabi raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"Yep." Naruto nodded and took out a cola can. "We're trying to do something that was never done before… simply because this is your only chance."
"Hurray…" Hanabi muttered.
"That's the spirit!" The demon exclaimed, kneeling in front of her. "Because in such case it all depends on your will to live."
Hanabi's eyes widened slightly and she looked up at Naruto. No hint of smile was present on his face, and she understood that the time for jokes is over.
Naruto was deadly serious. "Do you want to live?"
"H-Hai…" She whispered.
"Why?"
"What…?"
"Why do you want to live? What is your reason to keep going?"
Hanabi paused and looked down. "You are…" She stated. "I don't have anything else… I gave up everything else…"
Naruto's lips perked up slightly. "That's nice…" He touched her shoulder and Hanabi suddenly felt a wave of strength wash over her. "Stand up."
The girl did so slowly.
"Now I'll even go as far as say that I will be really… REALLY unhappy if you die." He exclaimed. "That's why I will do something I have never… AND NARUTO MEANS NEVER done before. Catch!"
Hanabi did… It was a cola can he recently summoned. "N-Naruto-sama?"
"Yep." He smiled and took out another can. "I guess this will show you how much faith I have in my personal apprentice."
The girl just stared at him in awe.
"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Naruto asked slyly, opening his can. "Cheers!"
Back in the real world…
"Foolish girl!" The Raikage screamed at Kurenai. "He will throw you away the moment he's done with you! He believes people are tools for his own usage! And you are following a man like this?!"
Kurenai's eyes suddenly widened and she removed Alastor from Ay's throat.
"Oh my god…" She started. "How could I be so blind?! Please, Raikage-sama, help me redeem myself by taking Naruto down!"
"You… You're going to help me?"
"Kh… Kh…" Kurenai snorted. "Khahahahaha! Don't tell me you really bought it!" She looked at his stunned face. "You did?! Shit, Naruto was right, you are a moron. Look, look there!" The ruby eyed kunoichi pointed at Naruto. "See that?! He's not giving up where everyone else would have. That's the man I'm following."
The dark skinned man gritted his teeth. "Do as you wish, you will regret it in the end."
"We'll see…"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" A sudden scream interrupted her.
"Woah!" A beam of blinding light erupted from Hanabi's chest, throwing Naruto and Alucard backwards.
"That was your idea." The vampire stated.
"I know, I know!" Naruto replied, dusting himself off.
"What happened?" Kurenai asked.
"Hell if I know…" The demon replied. No one could see, a cloud of smoke was blocking their view. Then…
"Huh? I'm alive?"
…They heard a very familiar, and yet slightly different voice.
"Hanabi!" Kurenai rushed to her friend's side. Yes, after two month spent together in prison cell they became best friends. But when she saw… "What the…?!"
"What, what happened?" Naruto walked closer, only to… "Ho-Ho-Holy shit!"
"W-What?" Hanabi asked, sitting up on the ground.
"Hmhmhm…" Alucard chuckled. "I guess you should look down there." He pointed.
Hanabi looked down at herself and her jaw fell. "Shit, I have boobs!"
But it was not just about boobs. For some reason her body was now of a full grown woman. Her hair also grew, now they were falling way past her 'lower back'.
"Damn you're hot!" Naruto exclaimed, helping her up.
"Wasn't I hot before?" The girl asked taking his hand.
"More like cute…"
"Son of a bitch…" She hit him in the shoulder… and then hugged tightly. "Thanks for saving me."
"Sure." Naruto replied with a grin. "Just don't tell anyone I did that to save you. It will ruin all my reputation."
Hanabi grinned back. "Thanks for giving me a good reason for your blackmailing."
Naruto's eyes widened. "You…" He smiled. "You really are my student."
"Aww, how sweet…"
Hanabi turned her head and glared. "You."
Naruto glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, Ay-chan! I forgot you're still here, thank you for reminding me."
"He won't be here for long." Alucard said, aiming his gun.
"Whow, whow, whow! Hold it!" The demon forced vampire's hand down. "I have a better idea."
"Hai, master." Hanabi suddenly said and began walking toward the Raikage… who was probably the only Kage that retired because of annihilation of his village.
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "But I haven't even said anything yet…"
She stopped. "Strange, I heard it pretty clearly."
"No wonders here." Alucard spoke. "A mental link is a common thing between master and apprentice. Especially if created willingly on both sides."
"I see…" Naruto smirked. "Well, then you know what to do."
"Yes, master." Hanabi grinned maniacally and continued to walk toward the fallen Raikage.
"Cough… Stay away, you damn bitch!" Ay tried to crawl again, but his wounds were too severe.
"Tried to kill me, ne?" Hanabi mocked. "Tough luck, sucker! Everything you have accomplished by that act is made Naruto-sama angry. And when Naruto-sama's angry, I have a burning desire to kill someone!" She stated and picked him by the throat… finding it incredibly easy to do as well. "But you? No, no, you caused Naruto-sama too much trouble, so simply killing you won't be enough!"
Ay's face showed true fear when Hanabi's eyes turned from pale white to blood red.
"After everything you've done, I will make you serve Naruto-sama once again!" She yelled, sinking her teeth in his neck.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"What… is she doing?" Kurenai asked.
"She's enslaving his soul." Alucard stated. "That's what we vampires do."
"So she is a vampire now? What did you do to her?"
"Naruto and I tried to enslave her soul at the same time." The vampire exclaimed. "But since she lived her life for him, Naruto prevailed… Though it seems like my attempt didn't go unnoticed as well…"
"Done." Hanabi stated, dropping Ay's bloodless body to the ground.
"A job well done." Naruto commented with a smile.
"I guess you did so as well. Damn…" Hanabi looked around. A scorched plain greeted her sight. No buildings, no trees, no nothing. The entire village got completely eradicated. There was nothing for miles in every direction.
"That's the right word." Kurenai agreed. "You don't seem too impressed though."
Alucard shrugged. "We did this shit with every Summon Clan we came across. I saw it dozens of times already."
"Oh…"
"Naruto?"
"Yes, Kurenai?"
"I… When you gave this sword to me…" She began, pointing at Alastor in her hands. "It felt strange… Like I suddenly took a soldier pill…"
The demon smirked. "Did you like it?"
"Hell yeah! It was fabulous, I felt incredible!"
"Well, consider this a slight demonstration of being a demon."
"A… A demon?"
"Yep." He raised his arm and stroke her cheek. "Would you like to become one permanently?"
"Mmm…" She moaned. "If it's just as good…"
"It's better…"
"Then yeah, I do."
"Excellent. Now we just have to…"
But he was suddenly interrupted by Alucard. "What the…?" The vampire crouched and picked some small object up.
It was a ring.
"How did it stay intact when buildings didn't?" Hanabi asked.
"I don't know…" Alucard stated. "Hmm, it's vibrating…" He pushed on the ring with his finger… and a silhouette appeared.
"Umm… can I speak to Raikage-sama?" The silhouette started.
Alucard looked around. "I guess his battery is empty…"
"W-Well… then can I speak with Darui-san?"
"He's out of coverage area…"
"Then… can I speak to anyone with authority here?"
Alucard shrugged. "Hey, there's someone who wishes to talk to you." He said, throwing the ring to Naruto.
"Who the hell is this?!"
The silhouette's eyes widened.
"Ho, it's Sakura!" The blond exclaimed happily. "Did you miss me?"
"N-N-Narut-to…?"
"No, I'm Bond, James Bond!" The demon replied. "Nice seeing your pink ass again! Are you happy to see me too?"
"Oi, Naruto? Who is this?" Kurenai asked, walking closer.
"Hey, babe! Wanna say hello to Sakura-chan?"
"K-Kurenai… But you were executed!"
"Uh-uh!" The red eyed woman smiled, wrapping her arms around Naruto's neck from behind. "Actually you can consider me a ghost because it doesn't matter what you…"
"Whow, whow, whow! Hold it! Don't steal Naruto's catchphrases…"
"Oh, suck it up." Hanabi exclaimed, hugging him from the left. "Ho, it's pink bitch-san! How are you doing?"
"Pink bitch-san?" Kurenai asked with raised eyebrow.
Hanabi waved her hand. "Nah, well when I was little, I always had fun following my bitch of a sister on her little 'Naruto' raids. And it's only naturally that I saw you as well. You were always around that bitch, but since I didn't know her name that had to do."
"I guess she meant why bitch-san?" Naruto asked.
Hanabi shrugged. "Father taught me to be polite."
The demon held himself from slapping his face. "Well, as you can… or cannot see, Sakura, there is not really anyone you can talk to.
"What…" The pink haired kunoichi tried to overcome her shock. "What… have you done to the Raikage?"
"Oh, I see tears! You're that happy to see me? I'm surprised, I really am! Especially after I took your…"
"Her what?" Hanabi asked dangerously.
"Umm well… mirror… Yes, it was mirror!"
Hanabi grinned. "Oh? And how tight was her mirror."
"Very… fuck…"
"Damn, Naruto, no shame at all." Kurenai said, shaking her head.
"Enough damn it! As for your question, Sakura… How should I… Ah-ha! Since this was Kirabi's home, I'll do it his way. Check this out…" Naruto started to snap his fingers in rhythm.
"Another dawn has come and you ain't got to worry!
Ay is a looser and he has no class.
And just before the night was over
Naruto whopped his ass!
I said what?
I said Naruto whopped his ass!
I said WHAT?!
I said NARUTO WHOPPED YOUR ASS!"
With that he took out his gun and threw the ring high in the air.
"And that's all I've got to say about that!"
BANG.
...
Omake: Naruto versus villain conference…
Darthemius's flat…
Darthemius (Crying in his pillow): "Unfair… Unfair! Even if she has super powers doesn't mean she can screw me whenever she wants!"
?: "Don't worry about it. This is in girl's nature."
Darthemius (Looking up from his sofa): "Thanks. It's good to see someone who… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Alucard (Grinning down at Darthemius): "Am I that scary?"
Darthemius (Taking several deep breaths): "You don't believe how much… But say, how did you get in here?"
Alucard (Shrugging): "Well, if you read Hellsing, you know I'm everywhere and nowhere. But since you included me in EHD, I just decided to come say hello."
Darthemius (Opening a cola can): "Well thanks, but if you do this one more time I will surely have a heart attack…"
Alucard (Grinning evilly): "I'll keep that in mind."
Darthemius: "So, do you want something else? I have my show tonight and I thought I could take a nap before it starts."
Alucard (Excitedly): "Your show?! Damn I like it! Can you include me?"
Darthemius: "Well, not tonight but I will think about it."
Alucard: "Alright… So what am I gonna do tonight?"
Darthemius (Thinking for a few seconds): "You know, I got just the idea!" (Taking out a "Twilight" DVD) "Here, watch this. You can use my TV."
Alucard (Taking the DVD): "Thanks… But what is this?"
Darthemius (Smiling evilly): "Oh, don't worry, you will definitely like this!" (To the side) "I hope they all die veeeeeery slowly…"
The studio…
Diana: "Oh, hey there, Darthy!"
Darthemius: "I'm not talking to you!"
Diana (Pouting): "Why?"
Darthemius: "You're screwing me whenever you wish!"
Diana: "What's so bad about it?!"
Darthemius: "Well nothing… But I'm a man dammit! I shouldn't be screwed like that, super powers or not."
Diana: "So that's what this is about?! Tell you what, tonight I will let you tie me up and have your way with me. Sounds good?"
Darthemius: "Maybe. But you'd better get ready since I'm gonna take that ass of yours and…"
Operator: "We're on the air."
Darthemius: "…And welcome to Darthemius' show! Tonight we have something special just for you."
Diana: "That's right; many people believe that villains are better than heroes. We totally agree and tonight we decided to give your favorite villains a chance to speak their mind!"
Crowd: "CHEER!"
Darthemius: "Well, who will we have first?"
Diana: "Hard choice… But since this is actually a 'Naruto' story why not start with 'Naruto's main villain?"
Darthemius: "An excellent idea! Please welcome, Uchiha Madara!"
Crowd: "CHEER!"
Madara (Coming out): "Hooo… I'm on TV?! Cool."
Minato (Standing up from his seat): "You 'CENSORED'! You killed me and my 'CENSORED' wife!"
Madara (Waving his hand dismissively): "Oh, come on. That was long in the past… Besides, that's not even true. Pure Kishimoto fabrication to keep ratings up."
Minato (In confusion): "So… that wasn't you?"
Madara: "Of course not."
Minato: "The why the 'CENSORED' did Kyuubi attack my village?!"
Madara (Raising an eyebrow): "Do you really want to know?"
Minato: "Speak up, you 'CENSORED'!"
Madara: "Fine, fine! You see, Kyuubi had a really bad day. He was dumped and decided to get drunk. He did and went to sleep. But for some reason he woke up and had a huge hangover. His head was killing him and he decided to kill someone too. Apparently Konoha was nearby…"
Minato (With wide eyes): "You mean that… Kyuubi almost destroyed my village because of a 'CENSORED' hangover?!"
Madara (Nodding): "Sure! Many things can be done because of that. Take Itachi and the Uchiha clan for example."
Darthemius: "Is that true, Uchiha-san? We thought you destroyed it on Konoha's orders."
Itachi: "That's true…"
Madara: "Stop that. Or have you forgotten how you came to me, barely standing on your feet, and complained how 'the Uchiha clan ended so quickly'?"
Itachi (Blushing hard from the embarrassment): "No comment."
Darthemius: "Alright, if this matter has been settled, would you please answer some questions, Madara-san?"
Madara: "Sure! After all I got paid for coming here. Might as well answer."
Darthemius: "Very well then. First and the most important question: why do you wear a mask?"
Madara: "You people still don't get it?! I wear this mask because I'm Rey Misterio!"
Silence.
Darthemius: "Really?"
Madara: "Are you dumb?! Of course not! In reality I wear a mask for two reasons. First is that I'm ugly…"
Diana (Raising an eyebrow): "Well, at least he's honest…"
Madara: "And second is… so people will wonder how I look behind this mask. Because in reality 'Naruto's rating is falling and many people are still watching it because they want to see what's behind this mask."
Darthemius: "Thank you for your answer, Madara-san!" (Turning to camera) "And now you people have the exclusive right to ask Madara-san yourself! Call the number on your screen and ask anything you want! The call is free if you're a Matrix agent, Pokemon, or dead."
Diana: "Ha, and we got our first call already. Come on, you're on the air. Ask away!"
Reluctant voice: "N-N-Neo?"
Darthemius: "'CENSOOOOOORED'! Track the 'CENSORED' signal! I said track it right now! I will drown this 'CENSORED' in my 'CENSORED' and then I will make his mother eat this same 'CENSORED'!"
Staff worker: "Sorry, sir… but we've got a 'System Failure'…"
Darthemius (In anger): "Damn that 'CENSORED'! I will have him in the end!"
Diana (Face faulting): "I guess we should ask our second guest to come out. Please welcome, directly from Sereitei's prison, Aizen Sosuke!"
Aizen: "Ho… Nice being out of that 'CENSORED' cell for once."
Crowd: "Aizen-sama!" "We're your fangirls!" "Please look this way!"
Aizen (Looking that way): "Damn, why are they so ugly?"
Darthemius: "Sorry, but they paid the best. Anyway, here is the first question: Why in the blue 'CENSORED' were you trying to kill the Soul King?!"
Aizen: "Well, this is a long story… You see, before 'Bleach' began, the Soul King borrowed ten thousand bucks from me and didn't give it back. When 'Bleach' began, the Soul King borrowed five thousand bucks from me and didn't give it back. When I left Soul Society, the Soul King borrowed three thousand bucks from me and didn't give it back. And finally when I became the ruler of Hueko Mondo, the Soul King borrowed only fifty bucks from me… but still didn't give it back. That was the last straw."
Darthemius: "Shit, for this sum I would've destroyed Karakura myself!"
Aizen: "Finally someone who understands!"
Darthemius: "Well, now is your time! Ask Aizen Sosuke anything you want!"
Voice from the crowd: "Aizen-sama, how big is your 'CENSORED'?"
Aizen: "Umm…"
Another voice from the crowd: "Aizen-sama, how long can you 'CENSORED'?"
Aizen: "Are you people interested in something beside the size of my 'CENSORED' or 'CENSORED'?!"
Crowd: "No!"
Aizen (Frowning): "They're not even interested in my bankai…"
Darthemius: "Well, that's fangirls for you. And now it's time for our third guest! Please welcome, Albert Wesker!"
Wesker: "Well I'll be damned…"
Darthemius: "You already are. So tell us, Mr. Wesker. Why did you want to destroy the world?"
Wesker: "Well you see, I had a hard childhood…"
Crowd: "Awww…"
Wesker: "No, I'm just shitting you. I simply wanted to do this, hahaha!"
Darthemius: "And why didn't you kill Jill Valentine?"
Wesker: "Ho, that girl blows like a vacuum cleaner! There ain't no way I would've killed her if I could help it!"
Darthemius: "O-kay… now you can…"
Diana: "Sorry to interrupt, but we already got a call."
Darthemius: "Really? Let's hear it then."
Female voice: "There you are, you son of a 'CENSORED'!"
Wesker (With raised eyebrows): "Jill?"
Jill: "That's right, you 'CENSORED'! Where have you been, eh?! You promised me the world and then what, faked your own death and disappeared?!"
Aizen and Madara (Looking at Wesker skeptically): "Wanted to destroy the world, huh…"
Wesker: "Hey, come on guys! It was in the heat of the… moment. That moment…"
Aizen and Madara: "Oh…"
Jill: "I'll show you in the heat of the moment! Because of you I have to 'CENSORED' every night and when I get my hands on you, I'll…"
Wesker: (To Darthemius): "Cover me; I'll give you a hundred bucks!"
Darthemius: "Deal! I'm sorry, but we have lost your signal, Miss Valentine. And we're also almost out of time…"
Wesker (Giving Darthemius one hundred dollars): "Thanks."
Darthemius (Taking the money): "Don't mention it. Anyway, it's time to vote for your favorite villain! If it's Uchiha Madara, send 'SHARINGAN' to the number on your screen. If it's Aizen Sosuke send 'HOGYOKU', and if your favorite villain is Albert Wesker send 'SUNGLASSES'. The winner of each vote will advance to the grand voting where villain of a decade will be chosen. Next time – three more villains will compete for your support. Be ready to cheer for Darth Sidious, Sephiroth and Yagami Light. That's it, Darthemius is out."
Operator: "Cut!"
Darthemius: "'CENSORED' I'm fucking tired…"
Diana: "Well, let's have a nice…"
Alucard: "Darthemius!"
Darthemius: "Waah! What?! What is it?!"
Alucard: "What was that about Sidious, Sephiroth and Light?! What about me?! You said you will think about it!"
Darthemius (Sweatdropping): "Hey, don't blame me. It's just that people don't really see you as a bad guy. I mean come on, you're serving a human! Besides, you kill, maim, enslave… 'CENSORED', you're an icon!"
Alucard: "Don't see me as a bad guy, huh?! We'll see about that!" (Taking out a cell phone) "Hello, tell me where I can find Eduard Cullen…"
...