Iwagakure no sato…
Haruno Sakura was always proud to be a kunoichi. She was from a civilian family, so she took up her job very seriously… or at least she thought so.
The truth is, because of her civilian family she had no idea what problems shinobi life brings.
That is until Uchiha Sasuke, her long time crush, has left the village. Then she began to take her work seriously… or at least she thought so.
In reality, she just wished for her long last dream to come true. In order to achieve that, she needed strength to bring Sasuke back. And he did return, and she believed everything will be alright, but…
BANG.
Haruno Sakura's world has officially broken like a glass.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Hmhmhmhmhm… HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed like a madman with a smoking gun in his hand. "FINALLY! I can't fucking believe it! After all these years…" He took a deep breath. "The last Uchiha has finally died by my hand."
"No… No…" Sakura cried in Sasuke's unmoving chest. "That's not possible… That cannot be…"
Naruto snorted. "Oh, what a familiar picture! It was years ago, but I still remember like it was yesterday. Remember? Wave mission?"
Sakura looked at him with her watery eyes.
"I know you remember it." The demon continued. "That time dear Uke-chan came back from the dead, maybe he will do this again, huh? What Haku did to him?" He thought for a moment. "Ah yes! He stabbed some senbons in his neck. And I…" Naruto looked at Sasuke, and…
He had a hole instead of his left eye.
"Oh dear, I guess it will be harder to return from that." Naruto stated. "Come on, Sakura! We're his teammates, so we must help him!" And with that… he kicked her right in the face, sending the pink haired kunoichi backwards.
"Gah!" Sakura gasped in pain.
"Don't worry, I will be with you shortly!" Naruto exclaimed and turned to Sasuke's dead body. "Come on, Sasuke! Wake up! You… You have a hole in your skull!" He said and chuckled slightly. "You know, Uke-chan, I take it back. I like you dead much better…"
"Why…? We had so little time together…"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at this. "Together? You mean like yesterday?"
"How do you know?"
"Well, let's just say…" He coughed a few times. "Let me make you forget all your worries." The demon said in Sakura's voice.
Kunoichi's eyes widened. "H-How do you know that?! Were you spying on us?!"
Naruto shrugged. "You can say that… though I really hated when you called me Sasuke."
Sakura gasped in horror.
"I mean, it was kind of humiliating!" He stated. "I was trying my best and you still screamed 'Sasuke!', 'Sasuke!'… It almost took the entire mood away. And you know, just to be sure…" He aimed his gun again and…
BANG.
…Nailed Sasuke in the other eye.
"Ah, even better this way!" The blond stated. "Now every damn Sharingan is out of this world."
"Cough…" Sakura slowly got up on her knees. "You…"
"What?"
"You…"
"What?"
"You…"
"What? What? What?"
"YOU MONSTER!" Sakura screamed. "I never believed it… I couldn't believe it! I wanted to deny it so much… But they were right; you are beyond redemption, Naruto!" She said, throwing him a hateful glare.
"HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Beyond redemption?!" Naruto blurred in front of her and backhanded his ex-teammate across her face. "You still don't get it, you stupid bitch?! I do not believe in redemption! And even if I did, there is no need in it for me. I am right in everything I do!"
"The whole world says you're not!" She shouted.
"Then the whole world is wrong!" Naruto countered. "And if it won't agree with me, then I will destroy it! And from remains a new world will be created! A world where I won't be wronged anymore! The world that I deserve!"
Sakura looked down and shakily got to her feet.
"No… it won't." She stated, still looking down. "One person can't stand against the world… and it doesn't matter how strong that person is." Then she turned her look at him. "The day will come when you'll make a mistake… Naruto. And there will be no one to back you up. That day you will fail and every your sick dream will fail with you. Do you know why?!"
The blond tilted his head to the side.
"Because everyone has darkness! Only that time it will appear somewhere you won't expect!"
Naruto's eyebrows rose, he was really taken aback by this. "I've got to hand it to you, Sakura…" He started. "I never expected something like this to come from your mouth. And I say you are absolutely… right."
Now Sakura was taken aback.
"Maybe someday I will fail. Maybe someday I will be taken down! But until that happened…" He aimed his gun at her and looked around the burning village. "I might as well enjoy! Tell Sasuke I said 'Go fuck yourself'."
The demon started to pull the trigger down, but…
"Naruto!"
Said blond glanced over his shoulder.
"Huh?" There stood some raven haired girl in white robe. "Who in the white hell are you?"
The girl grinned. "You don't remember me? I'm hurt, I really am. After all these years you really have forgotten me…"
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"
"Hmhmhm…" She chuckled. "Still don't remember? Well, I guess I'll just have to refresh your memory then…" Her grin widened. "YOU HAVE FAILED ME, NARUTO!"
The Overlord snorted in amusement. "What the fuck are you talking abo…"
Next moment a memory flashed in front of his eyes…
Flashback…
"Oi, Naruto!"
"Huh?" Four year old Naruto turned around. "Oh, ohayo, Misako-chan!"
"There you are!" The girl exclaimed happily, stopping right in front of him. "Today is your birthday, right?"
The blond nodded his head reluctantly.
"Then here!" Misako presented him a skull-like necklace. "This is for you!" She said smiling from ear to ear.
Naruto's eyes widened. "For… For m-me?"
"Of course, silly!" The girl replied. "Today is your birthday! Everyone should get a present for their birthday!"
"B-But I…"
"Oh, just take it already!" She pushed the necklace into his hands.
Naruto inspected it closer. "Isn't it your family's heirloom?"
"It is."
"Then I can't take it…"
"You can, and you will!" She stated. "It's mine now, and I wish to give it to you."
"B-But why? Something as important as this…"
"Because you are my friend, stupid." She said, smiling kindly at him. "That's what friends for!"
Tears appeared in Naruto's eyes. "Misako-chan…"
"Yes, what is it?"
"I…" He began. "I don't have anything to give you, but… But I swear I will never let anything bad happen to you! I will protect you with my life, that's a promise!"
"Yeah…" She pulled him in a hug. "I will take you on that promise…"
Flashback end…
"No…" For the first time in a long time Naruto's face was graced with a look of true horror.
"Oh shit!" Yamato commented.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
THUNDERCRASH.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Naruto screamed in pain as an enormous lightning struck his body.
"Kyah!" Sakura yelled as she was thrown back by the force of the impact.
"Got you." Unfamiliar male voice said, catching her in midair.
"Huh?" Sakura glanced over her shoulder. "Who are you?"
"My name is Credo, and I'm the captain of the Order of the Sword." He stated.
"The Order of the Sword?"
Credo nodded. "Yes, we hunt down and eliminate demons like Uzumaki Naruto."
Kunoichi's eyes widened. "But why only now?! Why did you wait all this time?!"
"Because we needed the right moment to strike." The girl from before said, landing beside them. "He is too powerful to try and take down without proper preparations."
Credo turned to her. "Everything went as planned?"
The girl smirked. "Can't you see for yourself?" She asked back, pointing at Naruto, who was still engulfed in lightning.
"Y-You think it will be enough?" Sakura asked.
"This won't…" Credo stated. "Only our Savior has the power to destroy Uzumaki Naruto for good."
Sakura's eyebrows rose. "The Savior?"
"Uh-huh." Raven haired girl nodded. "Look there!"
Sakura did, and her eyes widened…
With Neji…
"That should take care of your wounds." The Hyuga commander stated. "Your biju should take care of the rest."
Yugito nodded. "Thanks, Neji…" She looked around. "Looks like Naruto has really turned this battle around."
Neji smirked. "Yeah, he can do that. Now what do you say? Should we let demons do the fighting, or should we just ram in as usual?"
"What do you think, Sherlock?" She asked back with a grin on her face. "Do I look like someone who can just stand aside and…?" Words died in her throat.
"What?" Neji asked in concern.
"Is it my imagination, or do you see that too?" She asked, pointing behind his back.
Neji turned around. "What the fuck is that thing…?!"
THUNDERCRASH.
"Naruto!" Yugito immediately ran forward at top speed.
"No, Yugito, wait!"
With Orochimaru and the rest of his team…
"The fuck is this?!" The snake sannin asked. "They just keep on coming!"
"And they won't stop." Nameless girl stated. "See that big rock?! It's the hell gate, and the only one who can close them is Uzumaki Naruto."
"Tch." Orochimaru scowled. "Then I don't think he will close it even if we ask nicely…"
"Dammit!" The girl cursed. "I need to reload! Sai, cover me!"
"On it!" The ROOT agent replied. "Ninpo: Choujou Giga!" He unleashed his technique, sending a barrage of flying ink birds at incoming demons.
"Shit, there are too many!" Orochimaru cursed… just as one demon appeared right in front of him. "SHIT!"
SLASH.
"What the…?" The sannin muttered in confusion.
The demon was suddenly killed by a… flying armored knight.
"Have I finally lost it?" He asked.
"No, I see him too." Nameless girl stated.
"And it looks like he's not alone." Sai added. "Look!"
Orochimaru turned his head and saw how hundreds of flying knights were killing demons with a terrifying efficiency.
"Does someone share our intentions as well…?" He asked himself. "And… What the fuck is that?!"
Back with Sakura…
"What… is that…?" Sakura muttered, staring in awe at what she believed to be a gigantic flying statue.
"DO NOT FEAR!" Sudden voice shouted.
"W-Who is speaking?" Sakura asked in confusion.
"His Holiness." The raven haired girl stated, smiling from ear to ear. "There, look at the Savior's head."
Sakura did so, and yes, there stood an old man, dressed in a white robe. Though it was different from Credo's.
"THE SAVIOR HAS COME TO DELIVER US SALVATION!" The old man continued. "WE MUST REPENT AND REJOICE FOR THE WORLD HAS NOT YET COME TO AN END!"
The next thing Sakura saw, was that a strange energy beam shot from above of the Savior's head. And it started to eliminate demons… massively. Every demon that got in the way was instantly obliterated.
"GUOH!" Naruto groaned, falling on the ground when lightning has finally stopped. "H-How…?"
The raven haired girl smiled and started to walk closer towards him.
"Oh, little Naruto doesn't feel too good, hm?!" She mocked. "Too bad, that is the price of unfulfilled promise!" She added, kicking him in the face.
"Dah!" Naruto gasped, falling on his back. "But that's impossible! I saw you die! Cough… I buried you with my own damn hands!"
Girl's grin widened. "You should know better than anyone that death is just the beginning."
Naruto's eyes widened. "It can't be… You cannot be…"
"Can't I?" She mocked. "You mean just like you can't?"
"Gh…" Naruto spat some blood. "So you came back to haunt me… Misako…"
Sakura's eyes widened. 'Misako… that is the name of his friend, who got killed when they were little. But if she's alive, then…'
"Everything is possible, you taught me that." Misako stated.
"Fuck…" Naruto tried to stand up and failed.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… You don't look very good, Naruto. Something's wrong? Feeling weak?" She mocked him again.
The blond gritted his teeth. "I still have enough power to send you back where you belong…" He spat.
"Oh? And where is it?"
"In my memory."
Her smirk faded. "You little shit!" She said, kicking him in the ribs.
"Guah!"
"You were nothing!"
SMACK.
"A nobody!"
PUNCH.
"You couldn't even stand up for yourself until I came in!"
KICK.
"Gah!"
"You would've been nothing without me! And you're still nothing!"
Sakura couldn't believe her eyes. 'What is happening? Why isn't he resisting? And what was that lightning? Did it weaken him so much that he can't even stand?'
"You're pathetic, Naruto!" Misako stated. "I'm actually glad I died! Let's face it, what could you possibly give to me, huh?! You're worthless! But now, now I have a new family. A family that loves and appreciates me."
Credo slowly walked and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"The time for our hiding has passed. Now it's time for me to return to this world… and I guess it's also time for you to depart."
Naruto grinned evilly. "Depart, huh? Well, I guess you are still as dumb as before." He exclaimed, making Misako scowl. "That's what got you killed in the first place, you stupid bitch! You just couldn't get your fucking mouth shut!"
Credo drew his sword. "How dare you speak about Misako in such way?! She's a…"
"She's a two dollar slut." Naruto finished for him with a smirk on his face. "And she will never change. You wanna know why? Simple, because everyone has a spare two dollars!"
"Oh, am I?" Misako replied. "You know, I resisted at first. They wanted me to betray you, to do… well, what I did just now. And I refused… but then His Holiness has opened my eyes…"
"Weakling." Naruto interrupted. "I always knew it won't take much to break you."
"You think you can break me, Naruto?" She said in amusement. "Hah, you can't even make me scowl!"
"Hmhmhm… A great idea, I think I'll give it a shot." Naruto said, slowly getting to his feet. "You want to know a secret, Misako-chan?"
"Oh, please do entertain me…"
"Your parents." He interrupted. "They weren't as dead as you thought."
Misako's eyes widened. "W-What?"
"Misako, I think we should…" Credo spoke, but she quickly dismissed him.
"What did you say?!"
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled again. "Interested now, are you? That's right, dear mommy and daddy did NOT die. Oh no, they didn't even send you away for their selfish purposes. The truth is, you were in the hospital the day when Kyuubi attacked the village. And since it collapsed, it's only natural they thought you have died."
"But couldn't they search for me?" The girl asked.
"Of course they could, and they did! But the village was in a critical state and your parents were both ninjas, so they started to take missions for the sake of Konohagakure no sato and left the search to Sandaime Hokage… who of course didn't give a slightest fuck about you."
Misako gritted her teeth in anger. "Where are they?!"
Naruto's grin widened. "Oh, you don't know?" He asked slyly. "Perhaps I should remind you of something; not only your parents were both ninjas, but they were both Uchihas as well."
Her jaw fell. "You…"
"That's right, Misako-chan! I'll even go as far as say that your parents were good people, who rejected the idea of the Uchiha Rebellion… Which in turn got you killed. Oh yes, unlike your parents, the Uchiha clan elders found out about your existence pretty quickly."
"What have you done to them?!"
"Well…" Naruto began. "I must say that it gave me a great pleasure to plunge my sword into your father throat while making your mother watch it. I made her watch how I twisted the blade and beheaded him as well." He paused. "Then I kind of mentioned about your orphanage life and sudden death at the hands of your own clansmen… Unfortunately mommy had not too much time to cry about all this because I kind of sliced her in two shortly afterwards."
"You sick bastard!" Misako kicked Naruto in the chest, knocking him back on the ground, and drew her sword.
"No, Misako!" Credo stopped her. "This is not our job."
The female swordsman smirked. "Hm, you're right." She sheathed her blade. "Then I guess this is farewell, Uzumaki Naruto. I'm sure I won't see you again."
"Such a shame…" Naruto muttered, struggling to his feet once again.
"You, come with us." Misako told Sakura.
Kunoichi's eyes widened. "But Sasuke-kun… I cannot leave him…"
Credo and Misako looked at each other and nodded.
"I'll take him." The swordsman stated. "Come, staying here is really not safe."
"Here, I'll help you." Misako extended her hand… and Sakura took it. "Come, there is not much time!" She added, jumping away with Sakura and Credo on her tail.
"Oh, fuck…" Naruto cursed at himself. "Fucking bitch! She will die very slowly… Dammit!" He fell again. "I can't even stand straight! Never suspected for this divine punishment to be so strong…"
Suddenly…
"HERE IS THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL!"
Naruto raised his head. "Oh shit!"
The Savior was right in front of him.
"HERE IS THE SEED OF THE DEVIL! WITH ITS DESTRUCTION THE WORLD WILL BE PURIFIED!"
Naruto clenched his fists in anger. 'Come on, move! I can't die here, not like this!'
"Hurry, Naruto!" Yamato shouted. "He's starting this beam of his again!"
The Overlord looked up.
'Fuck, fuck! Move, move, move!' Naruto stood on his feet, but shakily. 'I won't let it end like this! I won't!'
"THE PEACE HAS COME!"
Naruto's eyes widened. 'Move god dammit!' He thought in panic as energy beam started to approach him. 'That's not possible! I can't lose, I…'
"NARUTO!"
He managed to turn his head just in time to see… a very worried Yugito, who pushed him out of the way in the last possible moment, but… she herself wasn't so lucky.
Naruto's heart skipped a beat. 'N-No…' He watched in horror as her body disintegrated right before his eyes. "Yugito!" He tried to reach her, but her hand turned to dust just before he touched it…
…But her smile remained in his mind even after she was gone.
"No… Gh… GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" (Starting song: Bleach movie 4 soundtrack – Snakes of despair)
BLAST.
"What the hell was that?!" Misako asked, stopping dead in her tracks. "Did the Savior miss?"
"I don't know if he missed or not…" Credo began. "But this doesn't look good!" He pointed his finger at…
"Is this Naruto?" Misako asked.
"Yes." Sakura nodded. "It's his released form… but I've never seen so much black energy around him…"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARR RRRRRR!" Naruto gave a terrifying roar as a surge of dark energy erupted from his body. "GRAN REY CERO!" He then shouted, firing a massive blue energy beam at the Savior and nailing him right in the stomach.
"Your Holiness!" Credo shouted.
"How dare he to harm the Savior?!" Misako asked in anger.
"AAAAAAAAA! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU TO PIECES!" Enraged Naruto screamed, launching himself forward.
"NO! STOP HIM!"
"Credo, we must help!" Misako stated.
"Right!" The swordsman nodded. "Stay here, Sakura!" He said and… changed his form.
'T-They are demons too!' She thought in sudden realization. 'Just who are they?'
"Dimension Slash!" Naruto unleashed Yamato's power, eradicating those annoying flying trash cans, and also nailing the Savior on his arm. "Not so tough now, motherfucker! Rapid Slash! Judgement Cut!"
Sakura watched in awe how all flying knights around Naruto got killed in a matter of seconds.
'Such power… even in a weakened state…'
"I've got enough of you, flying fools! Shockwave Pulsar!" Naruto said, repeating the technique he beat Itachi with. Of course it gave him a satisfying result.
"Now it's just you and me, Sucker!"
"STOP HIM!"
"Hold it, Naruto!" Credo and Misako appeared in front of him.
"Oh, you two bastards again." Naruto smiled in satisfaction. "I don't care about you, jabroni, but you, little bitch, will die very slowly!"
Misako glared at him in her released form. In fact it was similar to Credo's: a wing, a shield, a sword. Only he had a wing on his right side and held a sword in his right hand. Misako was the opposite.
"The only one who will die today is…"
"Volcanic Viper!" Naruto shouted, quickly appearing in front of her and delivering a blazing uppercut to her belly. "You talk too much, bitch!" He added, throwing her down.
"Misako!" Credo screamed, flying after her, but…
"Gran Rey Cero!"
…A blue beam of energy sent him into the ground faster than Misako.
"Hmhmhm… No one's in my way now!"
Wrong…
BANG.
"Uzumaki!" Black haired girl from before fired at him.
"Tch, you fucking insect!" Naruto spat and threw a fireball at her with his left hand.
"Shit!" She cursed, trying to jump away. "Dammit, not enough space!" The girl closed her eyes, preparing for the pain, but…
"Got ya!" Sai grabbed her in midair and flew away on his ink bird.
BOOM.
Two buildings got completely eradicated by Naruto's fireball.
"Fuck, he's not pulling any punches." Nameless girl exclaimed. "Thanks for the save by the way."
Sai smiled at her. "Don't mention it, lady."
She raised an eyebrow. "Lady, huh…"
"Well, since I don't know your name…"
"Will you two finally shut up and fight?!" Orochimaru shouted at them.
"Everyone…" Sakura muttered to herself.
"You again?" Naruto replied angrily. "Damn fools! You just don't know where to quit! Well, let me show you then!"
"Dammit, disperse!" Orochimaru commanded jumping away.
"Dimension Slash!" Naruto sent another huge shockwave at his enemies.
"Fuck!" The snake sannin cursed, narrowly escaping the fatal blow. "We need everyone! Forget about lesser demons and attack Uzumaki Naruto!"
"You heard the order!" Some squad captain stated. "Commence an all out attack strategy!"
Few moments later Naruto was attacked by many ninjutsus from all sides. Those who didn't knew any long range ninjutsu simply threw kunais at him.
"Useles!" The Overlord responded. "It's time for you to realize the futility of your tries!" He added, swinging his sword in circles above him.
"What is he doing?" Orochimaru asked in confusion, narrowing his eyes.
"Blood Fest!" Naruto quickly did two slashes, creating a cross on the ground… just below many of his attackers. "Shin-ne!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" People screamed as the ground below them split open and they fell down straight to hell… literally.
"I'm not done!" Naruto swung his sword to the other side. "Ungodly Onslaught!"
Unlike Dimension Slash, this time it was a horizontal shockwave, which caused explosions to occur everywhere behind it.
"What is he…?" Orochimaru thought, feeling true fear for the first time in many years.
"Useless garbage! Overlord's Wrath!"
Many fireballs appeared around Naruto.
"Naruto…" Sakura whispered. "What happened to you…?"
"...Sakura-chan!"
"…I will never back down! That is my way of the ninja!"
"…I will definitely bring Sasuke back! That's a promise of a lifetime!"
"…Don't underestimate me!"
"Begone!"
BOOM.
"Well, you've got what you wanted…" The pink haired kunoichi concluded. "No one underestimates you now… was it worth it?"
"Hmhmhm… That will teach…"
"Fuuton: Renkuudan!"
"Tch." Naruto blocked another jutsu with his hand.
"Press the attack! Don't let him get away!" Someone screamed.
"Hn." The Overlord tilted his head to the side. "I envy your persistence." He turned around in midair. "But your attempts are useless. I think I will play with you instead."
"DO ALL YOU WANT; YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH THE POWER OF THE SAVIOR!" The old man stated.
"We'll see about that, old jabroni!" Naruto gathered energy around him. He was still attacked from all sides, but it didn't bother him in the slightest. "You know, I don't care anymore. I think I will simply kill everyone. You all cost me more than your worth!" With that he released his power and turned into his demon form. Now he was about ½ size of the Savior. "Time to end it! Crimson Flare!" He smiled, channeled his energy and…
The world has stopped.
"Wha…?" Naruto asked in confusion… only to feel an all too familiar tug from the inside. "What the fuck?!"
Naruto's mindscape…
"Damn!" Naruto appeared exactly where he thought he would… right in front of Kyuubi's cage.
"What in the blue hell is this?!" He asked. "There is no Kyuubi here, I took care of that. Who is…?"
Suddenly a chain wrapped around his forearm.
"What the…?" Naruto tried to shake it of, but it wouldn't bulge. "Get off, dammit!"
Then another chain wrapped around his other arm, two around his legs and another one around his torso.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Naruto…" He heard unfamiliar female voice.
"Who is it?!"
A sad red haired woman slowly walked out of Kyuubi's cage.
"I'm disappointed in you, Naruto…"
"Well too fucking bad!" The demon spat in response. "Because I don't give a shit if you are disappointed in me or not, and quite frankly, I don't even know who you are. So you can fuck off to wherever you came from and hope that I won't find you!"
The woman frowned. "They didn't even tell you about me…" She said sadly. "Regardless, you must be stopped. It has to be done…"
Naruto's ears perked at that. "I have to be stopped eh? Well, I sure as hell won't be by you!" He stated and tried to rip the chains apart again. "You think these fucking chains will hold me for long?!"
"No…" She shook her head. "Not for long… but long enough."
"What?" He asked in confusion. "Who are you, really?"
"My name is Uzumaki Kushina… I'm your mother."
Naruto's eyes widened. "No fucking way… No way! You're supposed to be dead!"
"Indeed I am." She nodded. "But before I died, Minato was able to seal a part of me inside you."
"Grr, fucking asshole!" Naruto growled. "Couldn't he do at least something right?!"
"He did." Kushina said. "By sealing me inside of you, he gave the world hope."
Naruto raised an eyebrow at this. "Excuse me?"
"You will die today, Naruto." His mother stated.
The Overlord grinned at her evilly. "Oh really?!" He tried to rip the chains again… and they started to bulge. "I don't fucking think so!"
"Guh!" Kushina hissed, adding more energy to her restraining chains. "You will not pass!"
"Fucking assholes! Have you all conspired against me or what?!" Naruto shouted, and with another pull he freed his right hand. "Take that, mommy!"
"Ah!" Kushina was sent flying when Naruto hit her with the chain.
"You useless bitch!" Naruto cursed, tearing the remaining chains from the other parts of his body. "Did you really think that it will be enough to stop me?!"
"Cough…" Kushina stood up slowly. "Of course not…" She whispered. "But it will give others enough time to do what I cannot."
Blonde's eyes widened. "You slut!" He grabbed her by the throat. "Fucking mother you are, trying to kill her own child!"
"You are not my child…" She hissed at him. "You are a demon, a darkness incarnation! I regret bringing you into this world!"
Naruto grinned at her. "You know… I'm actually glad I met you. You wanna know why? Oh, my dear, that's because I made another promise years ago… A promise that if I ever see the bitch who spread her legs for that blond imbecile, I will give her a very special something right from the bottom of my heart!"
With that he threw her up and gave her an RKO.
"Let's hope it's not too late..." He said, watching her body disappear.
Back in the real world…
"Credo! Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I think so…" The swordsman struggled to get up. "He got me good."
"This is not over yet!" Misako stated. "He's… huh?"
"What?"
"He's not moving." The girl replied. "Something is holding him… We must use this chance!"
"Your Holiness!" Credo shouted.
"Grrr…" Naruto slowly opened his eyes… only to… "OH SHIT!"
"THE SAVIOR IS COMING!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Naruto screamed in pain as the Savior's energy beam went right through his chest. The scream was so loud and terrifying, that all fighting has stopped.
Everyone was looking at Naruto.
"Ah…" The Overlord released a breath and started to fall down, changing his form back in the process.
"HE'S NOT DEAD!" The old man stated. "FINISH HIM!"
"Yes, your Holiness!"
Naruto closed his eyes as he was falling down helplessly. 'Why…? How could I…?'
"Got ya!" Someone suddenly caught him in midair.
"Wha… Neji?"
"The one and only!" Hyuga stated. "Come on, let's get out of here!"
"YOU ARE GOING NOWHERE!"
Neji looked up at the huge approaching statue. "Fuck…"
"Oh, I beg to differ!" Four demons appeared in his path.
"Are you alright, Naruto-sama?" Cerberus asked.
"No, he's not." Neji answered for him. "We must withdraw immediately!"
"Got it!" Nevan nodded. "Take him away and we'll deal with this shit!"
With Sakura…
"Sakura!" Misako landed in front of the pink haired kunoichi. "We'll deal with these demons; you and your shinobi forces must stop Uzumaki at all cost!"
"B-But what about Sasuke-kun…?"
"Don't worry about it now..."
Sakura glared. "But he's dead!"
"Death is not the end. Not necessarily." Misako stated, making Sakura gasp. "Now go, warn your troops!"
"H-Hai!"
With Naruto…
"Come on, pal! Hang on!" Neji said, carrying Naruto away as fast as he could.
"Cough… it fucking hurts, man…" Naruto replied.
"Shut up!" Hyuga snapped. "I'm not leaving you anyway, whether you like it or not!"
"Yes you will! Raikiri!"
"Fuck!" Neji cursed, jumping out of the way. "Hatake! You're one persistent son of a bitch!"
"Yes I am, and you will take Naruto nowhere! His execution was delayed for way too long!" He went through a set of handseals. "Katon: Gou…"
"Haya!" A sudden kick to the back interrupted his jutsu. "I told you, I'm your opponent!"
"Mei!" Neji exclaimed happily.
"You both are idiots…" Naruto whispered.
Mizukage's look hardened. "Look here, Hyuga! You take him to safety; I will cover your retreat."
Neji's eyes widened. "No, I won't leave you to fight alone! I…"
"Neji!" She interrupted. "Just do it… please…"
Neji hesitated, but… "Fine. I'll see you back in Kumo, and don't you dare to die on me!" He shouted, jumping away.
"Sorry, Neji…" Mei said, falling on her knees.
"Hmm, I guess fighting the two of us at the same time really weakened you." Gaara said from behind, enveloping deadly tired Mizukage with his sand.
"I guess so too…" Mei whispered.
"Should we follow Naruto?" Gaara asked.
"There's no need." Kakashi shook his head. "They got it covered."
"I see, what about her then?"
Kakashi paused. "She is too dangerous to be left alive."
Gaara nodded his head.
"Such a shame…" Mei whispered as a small tear fell down her eye. "So little time together…"
"Sabaku Sousou!"
Kumogakure no sato. Some large square…
"Fuck!" Naruto was about to fall again, but Neji quickly got under his shoulder.
"Easy, pal, you're safe now…"
"Fuck it!" Naruto interrupted. "This shouldn't have happened! How could I lose?! This is not possible!"
"Yeah… I know…"
"Your 'I know' is not good enough!" Naruto shouted. "You…"
"GAH!"
Naruto's eyes widened once again when… Neji's chest was suddenly pierced by a lightning arrow.
"No!" Naruto screamed, finding some strength in his body and managing to catch his friend. "What the fuck?! Who did this?!"
"That would be me."
"Ay?! What the fuck?!" He turned back to Neji. "Hold on! Don't you dare to die! You hear me?! This is a fucking order!"
" Cough…" The Hyuga spat some blood. "Sorry, buddy… I guess I couldn't see it to the end after all…" He said as his eyes started to close. "Give them hell… I know you can. Cough… If you smell what Neji's cooking…"
"Neji! NEJI!"
Nothing.
"Gh… Gh… Ghahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed madly. "Sigh, I guess my little genjutsu is gone then."
"You are correct, Uzumaki." The Raikage stated. "But that's not all."
PUFF.
"What the…?" He asked in confusion as Summons started to puff into existence around him.
"Planned that far ahead, eh?"
"Indeed we did." Another voice replied.
"Danzou? What the fuck are you…?!"
"It's over, Naruto." Tsunade walked to him from behind. "You have lost."
"You're here too, huh? Figures…" Naruto stood up on his knees and chuckled. "I'm glad to see you though…" "
"Why?"
"Because I want to look at something nice if I'm going to go down."
"I see…" Godaime Hokage replied.
"Hmhmhm… so you're going to kill me then?"
"We are."
"Hey, come on, guys, don't do that." The demon said. "I was just playing around, you know…"
Silence.
"Did it work?"
"No." Danzou stated.
"A shame… How about this one? Come on, people, give me another chance! You're the good guys after all!"
"Enough, Naruto!" Tsunade said, fighting with herself to keep her voice from shaking. "Today your insanity will stop."
"Oh… Oh!" Naruto exclaimed. "But you can't kill me! If you do, there will be no more trail blazing… eyebrow raising… mystifying, electrifying! The world will never recover from that!"
"Your jokes won't save you, Uzumaki." Ay stated, gathering lightning around his hand. "Any last words?"
Naruto's smirk fell. "Of course…" He stood up shakily. "I regret nothing! I've had so much fun, and, given the choice, I would've followed my way every step! And even if I die today, the world will forever remember the jabroni beating… pie eating… trail blazing, eyebrow raising… for all people I killed, for all cola I drank, still has the class to go out with a bang Uzumaki Naruto!"
Then he slowly glanced over his shoulder. "As for you, Tsunade… Know this. Every time you will look in the mirror, you will see my face! And that's the bottom line 'cus Naruto said… huh?"
"What is that?" The Raikage asked in sudden concern when Naruto… disappeared in a swirl of sakura petals.
Tsunade's eyes widened. "Genjutsu!"
"Kai!" Everyone cancelled the illusory technique, but Naruto was long gone.
"Find him! Now!"
"Hai, Raikage-sama!"
"Son of a bitch!" Danzou cursed. "How could he slip away like that?! We took every possible precaution!"
"No…" Tsunade spoke. "We forgot about human genjutsu… We also dismissed the possibility of another traitor in our ranks… Foolish."
"You know who did this?" The Raikage asked.
"I think I do…" Godaime Hokage said. "And she will pay dearly for her betrayal…"
With Naruto…
"How much time do we have?" Kurenai asked as she and Hanabi carried Naruto away from Kumo.
"Not much." The Hyuga girl replied. "They're already on our trail…"
"Cough… What are you doing?" Naruto asked.
"Can't you see?! We're saving your ass!" Kurenai stated.
Naruto's eyes widened.
Flashback…
"You know any ruby-eyed women?"
"Ruby-eyed…" Naruto wondered. "Kurenai?"
"That's the one." The old man nodded. "You are linked to her future. And for things to happen the way you want them to happen, you must reject her."
"I beg you pardon?" Naruto asked.
"You heard me. You must reject her next offer to you for the two of you to end up in the right places…"
"And alternative?" The demon asked.
"You both are dead." The old man stated.
"Great…" Naruto muttered. "You sure?"
"I can see that point very clearly." The old man exclaimed. "If you won't do as I say, then at that point she'll be dead already, and you will soon follow."
"I'll be dead… not a very comfortable thought."
End flashback…
'Son of a bitch! He knew!'
"What?" Yamato asked.
'He fucking knew! Old piece of shit! He said we'll end up in the right places… IS THAT HIS DEFINITION OF RIGHT?!' The demon shouted in his mind.
"Naruto." Kurenai brought him out of his thoughts. "You must escape, Naruto…"
"What, but…"
"Just listen to me this once, alright?" She interrupted. "They must not get a hold of you. If they do, then all was in vain."
Naruto gritted his teeth. "Dammit…"
"Company!" Hanabi stated.
"Naruto! We must leave!"
'Where?'
"The Netherworld! I can open another gate here!"
'But… they won't be able to come with me…'
"There is no other way, and you know it."
'Double dammit!'
"Naruto!" Kurenai brought him out of his trance. "You must leave now! We will hold them here!"
"You're crazy! They will…!"
"Naruto-sama." Hanabi suddenly spoke. "Please, have some faith in your personal apprentice."
"My apprentice?"
She grinned at him.
"Hm… Hmhmhm… You want me gone so much?"
"Fuck you, asshole." Kurenai exclaimed.
"Just… try not to die." He said, stabbing Yamato into the ground. "You hear me, both of you. Because I will come back… I promise…" He said, disappearing inside the black stone.
"Well, we have succeeded." Hanabi stated. "Wanna bet?"
"About what?" Kurenai asked in confusion.
"About how many motherfuckers we'll take down before they take us down."
The red eyed kunoichi smiled sadly. "Why not? I say twenty."
"Nah." Hanabi replied with a smirk. "Something's telling me that it will be over two hundreds…"
"Why this much?"
"I only can do this technique twice…"
"Oh… Well, are you ready?"
"I am, let's rock!"
CRASH.
Next moment a large figure landed nearby. That was the Raikage… And he watched in shock and anger how a black square stone slowly disappeared underground.
"No! You fucking bitches! Do you have any idea what you've done?!" He screamed in rage as lightning started to cover his entire body.
"Yup!" Hanabi responded, smiling beamingly.
"Your death will be very slow and painful!" Ay shouted at her.
"Throwing threats at little girls?!" Hanabi mocked. "My, what a man!"
"Silence!" Ay shouted again. "You will…"
"Kurenai." Sudden voice interrupted him.
The Raikage turned to his right and saw… Mitarashi Anko.
"It's over, Kurenai." Orochimaru's student replied. "You have nowhere to go."
"Hahahahahaha!" Kurenai laughed. "You think I don't know that? I knew that this is my end even before it happened!"
"Then why…?"
The red eyed woman sighed. "If you still don't get it, then you will never understand…"
"Enough!" The Raikage shouted.
By this time Kurenai and Hanabi were already surrounded from all sides by enemy shinobi.
"Surrender yourself peacefully and maybe you will be granted a quick death."
"Hahahahahahaha!" Hanabi laughed. "Do you really think Naruto-sama's personal apprentice will actually give up?!"
Ay's eyes narrowed. "Naruto-sama's personal apprentice?"
"Damn right!"
The Raikage scowled. "Are you stupid, little girl? Why give up such information when you're about to get captured?!"
Hanabi grinned evilly. "Because I'm not going to get captured alive!" She stated. "But before that, let me show you how good of a student I am. Now you will see why I'm called 'Fire Cracker'! Art is a blast!" The girl did one-handed seal in front of her face. "KATSU!"
BOOM.
Explosion occurred behind the Rakiage, taking out several units and even causing Ay himself to lose his balance.
Hanabi acted immediately. "Raiton: Byakurai!" She shot a beam of lightning out of her palm straight at the Raikage… but it was instantly absorbed by his lightning shield.
Hanabi gritted her teeth in anger and disappointment. 'Dammit, this fool is tough. Well, on the other hand it was foolish of me to think that the strongest motherfucker of Kumo will be taken out just like that…' She thought and turned to her only ally. "Kurenai, hide somewhere and cover me with your genjutsu to the best of your abilities!"
"But Hanabi…"
"Now! I'll take the fighting, you give offensive support!"
Kurenai's eyes widened slightly. 'I have seen this level of determination from one person only. She really reminds me of you… Naruto.' She thought. "Alright, I've got it covered!"
Hanabi smiled in satisfaction when Kurenai disappeared in sakura petals.
"Alright, boys! Let's rock!"
"You insect!" The Raikage shouted in rage. "How dare you to raise your hand on me?!"
Hanabi's smirk widened. "Just like this!" She did one-handed ram seal in front of her face once again and then pointed it to her right.
BOOM.
"I'm not done!"
BLAST.
"Surprised?! We have come prepared, you mustache moron!"
"Grrrrr!" The Raikage growled. "I wanted to capture you alive, but that does it! You're dead!" Instantly he appeared in front of Hanabi and punched her with all his might.
Girl's eyes widened. "F-Fast…" But then her smirk returned. "Not very smart though…" She said, turning into sakura petals.
"Damn genjutsu!"
"Senei-ta jashu!" Anko managed to capture Hanabi with her snakes… only for her captive to…
"Kaiten!" Hanabi swirled, finding her way out… but while she was still in midair…
"Die!" Ay struck her with his shoulder… only for Hanabi to disappear into sakura petals once again. "Fucking hell!" He cursed. "I need to find the other bitch!" He closed his eyes and concentrated…
But it was in vain.
"Dammit! I need a censor, now!"
"I am!" Someone of his subordinates yelled, only to…
"Raiton: Byakurai!"
…Suddenly find his brains falling out through the hole in his forehead.
"Ficking imbeciles!" Ay shouted. "You are fighting against a little girl!"
"Surround her!" Someone called and everyone started to do just that.
Hanabi grinned evilly when a large mob of shinobi started to close in on her.
'I guess it's finally the time for me to use it…' She thought, taking her specific Hakke stance.
"What the…?" The Raikage tilted his head in confusion.
"Juukenhou: Hakke Hyakurai no Danketsu!"
"Fucking!" Now the Raikage was by no means a coward, but something in this technique's name told him to hide somewhere.
Next moment Hanabi moved into action. "Nirai!"
Two lightning bolts struck two of Raikage's men.
"Gorai!"
Five more fell down with no signs of life in them.
"Holy shit…" Ay muttered, observing from his cover. "A juuken and a lightning user at the same time! Oh, what I would've given to have this girl on my side… a shame."
Suddenly…
"Gah!" Kurenai somersaulted backwards, leaving her cover.
"Found you." Anko stated emotionlessly. "Give up, Kurenai, it's useless."
"I'll give up when I stop breathing!" The red eyed kunoichi shouted, lunging at her former friend.
'Excellent!' Ay thought. 'She's not covering her anymore…' He glanced at Hanabi who was still disposing of his men at an alarming rate. 'But I guess it will be unwise to move in until she finishes her technique.'
Meanwhile…
"You fucking traitor!" Anko yelled, throwing a punch at Kurenai.
"Says snake whore!" Genjutsu mistress replied, sidestepping the punch and throwing Anko over her shoulder.
Orochimaru's student quickly got up and spat some blood. "You will pay for that!" She ran forward again to engage her enemy in close combat.
"Oh pu-lease!" Kurenai ducked under Anko's kick and landed a spinning kick of her own right in her opponent's chin. "You were always weaker than me! But still, taijutsu is not my main field." She quickly did a set of handseals and grinned at her former friend. "Here's something Naruto showed me…"
Anko's eyes widened instantly… when the world around her turned red and black.
"Welcome to Naruto-kun's version of Tsukiyomi!" Kurenai replied cheerfully.
"W-Wh-What is this?" Anko asked in confusion.
"Oh, you don't recognize it?" Kurenai asked back slyly. "Why, you're in Konoha, Anko-chan!"
The snake user bit her lip hard enough to draw blood… but it didn't help.
"This is an illusion…" She muttered. "This isn't real!"
"Maybe not…" Kurenai responded. "But this will be! Rejoice, Anko-chan… because for the next twenty four hours you will be reliving everything you went through after Orochimaru's betrayal!"
Many people started to appear.
"Snake whore!"
"You should die along with your master!"
"No one wants you here!"
"No one loves you!"
"QUIET!" Anko screamed, clutching her head in pain.
"Go away and never come back!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Kurenai chuckled, cancelling her technique. "And all it took was two minutes." She then spotted the Raikage and winked at him… disappearing in sakura petals next second.
"Fuck!" Ay cursed.
"Hakke Hyakurai no Danketsu!" Hanabi shouted, finishing her devastating move.
"Double fuck!"
"Alright!" Hanabi said, panting heavily. "Who else wants a piece of me?"
"I do."
The girl slowly turned around and…
There stood Danzou… Stood among dozens of corpses as if it wasn't bothering him in the slightest.
"Okay, bring it on, old fuck!" Hanabi mocked, taking a battle stance.
"Come." Danzou said calmly.
"Heh!" Hanabi smirked, with byakugan blazing in her eyes. "As you wish!" In a second she was next to him. "Hah!"
Surprisingly… her strike hit the perfect mark. The mark being old man's heart.
"That's it?!" Hanabi raised an eyebrow, watching in surprise how Danzou slowly fell on his knees. "I expected something… guh!" She suddenly fell face first into the ground after being hit by an unknown force.
"You expected something more?" Danzou asked from behind her.
"W-What? But…"
"Impressive, Danzou." The Raikage commented. "But I wonder why she didn't…"
THUD.
Dark skinned man quickly turned around and saw Kurenai's unconscious body on the ground… with Tsunade standing over her.
"It's over." The Hokage stated. "I guess you can handle the rest."
"Tch." The Raikage scowled, cancelling his lightning aura. "Take them away…"
The Netherworld. Some cliff…
"How stupid…" Naruto muttered with his head rested in his hand. "To lose like that… I guess I have forgotten the most basic rule… Always assume that your plans might be a part of someone else's plan…"
"Ho-ho-ho! Stupid indeed!"
"You son of a bitch!" Naruto shouted, lashing out at the old man… but falling down half way due to his injuries and exhaustion. "Fuck!"
"Relax, sonny. I'm here to…"
"I don't care why you're here for, you're fucking dead!" Naruto screamed, struggling to his feet.
"Hohoho! And what can you possibly do to me in your current state?!" The old man mocked. "Look at you, you can't even stand straight!"
"Shut up! It's all because of you!"
"Exactly. Because of me you're still alive."
"But everyone else is dead!"
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" The old man chuckled. "Hmhmhahahahahahaha! Everyone else?! Do you think I give even a slightest damn about any of them?! Well, how do you say it, sonny…? Ah, EH-EH! I absolutely, unquestionably, undoubtedly don't give a fuck if they are alive or dead! I wanted for you to survive, even if it meant the death of all your friends!"
"Fuck you!" Naruto shouted. "You knew this was gonna happen! Why didn't you warn me?! I could prevent it then, and…"
"No." The old man interrupted. "I knew it would happen, yes. But I didn't know when, how or why. Can't you see?! It couldn't be prevented."
"But why?"
"Silly boy. It's because it was their destinies, not yours! You could die with them, yes… But I can't just let you die like that. You are far too… entertaining."
"Son of a…"
"Stop this." The old man said in annoyed fashion. "Stop acting like some drama hero, that's not like you. Uzumaki Naruto don't mourn people, he kills them. And he's the best in the world at what he does!"
"Hmhmhm… Thanks, I guess." Naruto paused. "You… You're right! They killed Neji? Well, I won't cry about his death, I'll go and kill his murderer! That's my way!"
"That's my boy!" The old man stated proudly. "But after seeing you almost lose out there, I decided to give you a little test…"
"What fucking test?!"
"A test to see if you still have what it takes to go forward. And here's some last minute advice for you… Sometimes one ally is better then a thousand. There you have it, farewell, sonny… Oh, and by the way, it's never too late to ask one last question."
"Wait, what's with the test…?!" Naruto shouted, but the old man was already gone. "Yeah, fuck you too. Still, what's with this test shit?! Facts say I don't need it!
"What facts?" Yamato asked.
"Fact number one - I still have my balls… right?" He quickly looked down inside of his pants. "Hell yeah I got them!"
"Had you any doubts?"
"Of course not! Just checked… you know, just in case…"
"Suuuuure…"
"By the way!" Naruto continued. "Fact number two – I still have my sword!"
"Well, that's true…"
"And the last, but not least…" He took out a… cola can.
PSHT.
"Aaaah! As long as I have these, life is wonderful!" The blond stated. "Hot naked girls could do too, but I can manage without them for a while. Now where is your fucking test?!"
Suddenly…
"Uzumaki Naruto…" Booming voice sounded from behind. "I have come to fight you."
"What the…?" Naruto turned around… and his eyes widened to their limits. "Oh fuck me from all sides in every hole… Isn't it too much for a 'little' test, you old piece of shit?!"
"Gonna back down?!"
'Where to, you moron?!' The blond replied in his head. 'I already did so by coming here! Besides, do you really think I can outrun that motherfucker in my current state?! I can barely fucking stand!'
"Then what are you gonna do?"
Naruto gritted his teeth. 'I have absolutely no fucking idea…'
Clan Coalition Army's headquarters…
"Lord Throzax! Lord Throzax!"
"What's the matter Kronto?" The dragon king asked his subordinate.
"We have an emergency?" The little dragon stated.
"Can't it wait? We have a Coalition meeting…"
"No, it's red alert, sir!" Kronto stated.
Throzax's eyes widened. "Report."
"King Throazx…" The dragon stopped to gulp a lump in his throat. "Sir, code 666! Overlord Baal has disappeared from his tower!"
"SAY WHAT?!"
...
And that's it for today. I hope you liked it.
It was really hard to write this one. Now for the omake…
...
Omake: Naruto vs. Darthemius' show…
Darthemius's apartment…
Darthemius: "Zzzzzzzz…"
Diana: "Oi."
Darthemius: "Zzzzzzzz…"
Diana: "Oi, Darth!"
Darthemius: "Zzzzzzzz…"
Diana: "Get your lazy ass up!"
Darthemius: "Zzzzzzzzz…"
Diana (Smirking): "Oh, look! Free cola!"
Darthemius (Jumping to his feet): "WHERE?!"
Diana (Smiling beamingly): "Good morning!"
Darthemius (Scowling): "Damn woman… What the hell do you want?" (Turning around with wide eyes) "Forget it! Today is Naruto's turn!"
Diana: "But Darthy! He's not around, and…"
Darthemius: "Hell no! My crouch still aches from yesterday!"
Diana (With feral grin): "You forgot something."
Darthemius (Raising an eyebrow): "What?"
Diana: "Unlike you I have super powers. So if you won't do what I say, I will simply kick the shit out of you."
Darthemius (Backing away): "H-Hey, come on now! Let's not be hasty!"
Diana (Tearing Darthemius' shirt open): "Know your role and shut your mouth!"
Darthemius: "No, wait! Aaaaaaa!"
Naruto: "Hey, why are there screams without me?"
Darthemius (Sighing in relief): "Saved by the bell…"
Diana (With the same feral grin): "Hey there, Naruto!"
Naruto: "Ho! My turn, huh? Sorry, babe, but we have some problems."
Diana: "What problems?"
Naruto (Pointing behind himself): "The police is here."
Darthemius: "What did you do this time?"
Naruto: "Actually they're here for you."
Darthemius: "Wha…?"
Police officer: "Mister Darthemius, you are under arrest for killing Mister Jerry Springer."
Darthemius: "You have no proof!"
Police officer: "You killed him when the show already started."
Diana (Raising an eyebrow): "You mean…"
Police officer: "You killed him live on TV."
Darthemius: "Out of every stupid thing I did in my life…"
Naruto: "That was the stupidest?"
Darthemius: "Nah, that actually was the second stupidest…"
Diana: "What was the first one?"
Darthemius: "I pissed on a high voltage cable…"
Naruto and Police officer: "Ouch!"
Darthemius: "Exactly. So, what happens to me now?"
Police officer: "You have two options, Mister Darthemius. The first is the most obvious – you are going to prison."
Darthemius: "How original. And the second one?"
Police officer: "Well… Since we have no host for Jerry Springer's show and also since many people liked your broadcast last week you have the option to become the new host for this show."
Darthemius: "I'm going to regret it…"
Studio…
Darthemius: "I feel ridiculous in this suit…"
Diana: "Consider yourself lucky. You would've liked the other suit even less."
Darthemius: "Dammit, well why don't you… Eh, my throat is dry, where is my cola?"
Staff member: "Here is it, sir!"
Darthemius (Drinking from his can): "Gulp… Gulp…"
Camera man: "We're on the air!"
Darthemius: "Pffffffffft!"
Diana: "Son of a 'CENSORED'! My 'CENSORED' dress!"
Darthemius: "Oppa… sorry. Haha, umm… welcome to Darthemius' show!"
Diana: "It won't stay Darthemius' show for very long since I will tear your 'CENSORED' head off right now! Look at what you've done, you 'CENSORED'!"
Darthemius: "Now calm down, babe. We are live already… Besides, you said it yourself; it was a 'CENSORED' dress…"
Diana: "A 'CENSORED' dress that costs twenty thousand dollars!"
Darthemius: "'CENSOOOOOOOOOORED'! Super powers or not, I will kick your 'CENSORED' for wasting so much money on a 'CENSORED' dress!"
Crowd: "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Darthemius: "Tch, we'll talk about it later. Now then, welcome to Darthemius' show! By the way, if you're really wondering, Uchiha Mikoto won last week."
Crowd: "CHEEEEER!"
Darthemiius: "But since our security was… well wasted, allow me to introduce to you the new members of our security staff! First of all, say hello to Mister Uchiha Itachi!"
Itachi: "Hn."
Darthemius: "Do you wish to say anything, Itachi-san?"
Itachi: "…Hn."
Darthemius: "Short, easy to remember. Now please welcome our second new member! Mister Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash himself!"
Minato: "Umm… hello."
Darthemius: "Say, Minato-san, why did you agree for this job?"
Minato (Shrugging): "Actually I have no idea. One moment I was in Shinigami's stomach, and next moment he spits me out, saying that I must accept this job…"
Diana (Whispering): "Psst, psst! Hey, how did you do it?"
Darthemius (Whispering): "Oh, I just gave him a cola can…"
Diana (Raising an eyebrow): "That's it?"
Darthemius: "Yep, he said that it's far tastier than this blonde motherfucker." (Loud) "Okay, thank you Minato-san! And the last, but not the least, please welcome! Straight from the hell, Hidan!"
Crowd: "CHEEER!"
Darthemius: "So, Hidan-san, why did you accept this job?"
Hidan: "As if you don't know you 'CENSORED' 'CENSORED'! You came to me and said that I can 'CENSORED' kill everyone who you're 'CENSORED' pointing at!"
Darthemius (Smiling sheepishly): "Ahehehe… we'll cut that out later. Now since we're done with introductions, here's today's guest! Mister Massasi Kishimoto!"
Kishimoto (Dragged into by the staff): "You can't do that to me, you 'CENSORED'! This is a 'CENSORED' kidnapping! Don't you know that I'm famous! One 'CENSORED' phone call and you all will be deeply 'CENSORED'!"
Diana: "It's nice to see you too, Kishimoto-san. Tell me, are you ready?"
Kishimoto: "Ready for what, you stupid 'CENSORED'?!"
Diana (Forcing a smile on her face): "To meet some of your friends of course!"
Kishimoto (Paling slightly): "What friends?"
Darthemius: "Well, that's a surprise! Let's see if you can recognize any of them! Here's the voice of your first friend!"
Reporter: "Tell us when it all started."
Voice #1: "I don't really know… I first appeared as a cool guy. Girls loved me, teachers praised me… But then that orange moron came in."
Reporter: "Oh, and?"
Voice #1: "And everything went straight to hell! Not immediately, but once I decided to go to Orochimaru for power the entire world considers me a 'CENSORED' gay! What the 'CENSORED' is that?! Couldn't that piece of 'CENSORED' at least make a bearable villain?! But that didn't stop there, oh no! I gave interviews, press conferences; I even went to several of my own fan club's meetings! 'CENSORED' no! They still think I'm a 'CENSORED' gay! Hell, I even went as far as killing that snake 'CENSORED'! And it still didn't help! So if I ever meet the son of a 'CENSORED', who wrote that piece of 'CENSORED', I will run him through with a 'CENSORED' chidori!"
Reporter: "A 'CENSORED' chidori?"
Voice #1: "Yes, a 'CENSORED' chidori. Allow me to show you! Chidori!"
Reporter: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Darthemius: "So, do you recognize this voice, Kishimoto-san?"
Kishimoto: "N-Not really…"
Darthemius: "Well then, please welcome! Uchiha Sasuke!"
Sasuke: "Huh? I'm here again?"
Diana: "Hey, I thought you said Mikoto won…"
Darthemius: "Yep."
Diana: "Then why is these two alive?"
Darthemius: "Shinigami was very grateful for my cola…"
Diana: "Oh…"
Sasuke (Noticing Kishimoto): "You!"
Kishimoto: "M-Me?"
Sasuke: "Yeah, you! Why did you make that snake piece of 'CENSORED'… well… snake piece of 'CENSORED'?!"
Kishimoto: "Umm… you see, back in my childhood I was bitten by a snake, and…"
Sasuke: "Are you sure you were only bitten?! Maybe you were also 'CENSORED' by the same snake?!"
Crowd: "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Sasuke: "I am a man of my word! Yes, I'm a MAN! CHIDORI!"
Darthemius: "Oh, not now! Stop him!"
Itachi (Appearing between Sasuke and Kishimoto): "Stand down, foolish little brother."
Sasuke (With a slight blush on his cheek): "N-Nii-san!"
Itachi: "Stand down."
Sasuke: "Hai, nii-san!"
Darthemius: "Well, that went better than expected. Now, Kishimoto-san, voice #2!"
Hidan: "Enough with the 'CENSORED' voices! Where are my 'CENSORED' victims?!"
Darthemius: "Know your 'CENSORED' role and shut you 'CENSORED' mouth! Now, voice #2!"
Reporter (Another one): "So, tell us about yourself."
Voice #2: "Well, I came in as a real badass. I had piercing, a cloak with red clouds, a bunch of 'CENSORED' morons who called me 'leader', a hot chick with a lot of paper… But then in a moment it was all taken away!"
Reporter: "What, paper?"
Voice #2: "Everything! In reality I happened to be some half-dead freak in a wheelchair without the 'CENSORED' cloak, and quite frankly I lost my leader position as well!"
Reporter: "Umm… what about the hot chick?"
Voice #2: "What do you think I can do with her when I 'CENSORED' can't even lift a finger?!"
Reporter: "So, what are you going to do with the source of your problems?"
Voice #2: "Shinra Tensei!"
Repoprter: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Voice #2: "That's what!"
Darthemius: "Shit, I really should hire someone indestructible as a reporter… Anyway, please welcome – the former leader of Akatsuki Pain!"
Pain (Entering): "At last." (To Kishimoto) "You will know pain!"
Kishimoto: "How?! You can't walk by yourself!"
Pain (Grinning): "Plastic surgery. Now…"
Darthemius: "No, no, no! We have not done yet!"
Pain: "You dare to stand in the way of god?"
Darthemius: "Sure, if I paid for that god's surgery."
Pain (Scowling): "Do what you wish."
Darthemius: "Alright then! And your last voice…"
Voice #3: "That 'CEEEEENSOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEE EED! I will 'CENSORED' him so much that his own 'CENSORED' mother won't be able to distinguish his 'CENSORED' from his 'CENSORED'! Speaking of his mother! I've had her in the 'CENSORED' with my 'CENSORED'! And I also swirled her on this very same 'CENSORED' afterwards! So he'd better commit a 'CENSORED' suicide before I get to him!"
Reporter: "Umm…"
Voice #3: "What?!"
Reporter: "I just asked for your name…"
BANG.
Darthemius: "Ups, I guess his patience has run out. Well, please welcome…"
Naruto (Running at Kishimoto with rasengan in hand): "SHIN-NE!"
Minato (Appearing between them): "Wait, Naruto! You are better than this!"
Naruto: "Father…" (Running at Minato with rasengan in hand): "SHIN-NE!"
Darthemius: "Oppa… Security!"
Hidan: "'CENSORED' yeah! I'm your security!"
Naruto and Minato: "RASENGAN!"
BOOM.
Hidan: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Pain: "Now you will know pain!"
Itachi (Sitting as if nothing has happened): "Hn."
Darthemius: "W-Well…"
Naruto: "Get this son of a bitch!"
Kishimoto (Running away): "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Crowd: "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Darthemius (Sighing): "Well, I guess my role is done. Thanks for watching." (To Diana) "Come on, let's drink something."
Diana: "Uh-uh! Now you are going to pay for my ruined dress!"
Darthemius: "But I don't have any money with me…"
Diana (With feral grin): "You won't need them.
Darthemius: "Oh shit…"
Director: "CUT!"
KO!
Winner…
Kishimoto: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Winner: Not Massasi Kishimoto.
Naruto: "Hold him, guys! I'm gonna show him where exactly I had his 'CENSORED' dattebayo!"
Kishimoto: "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
...