Naruto spent an hour given to him to wander around his 'precious' home village. He didn't find it any different except for three things. The first was, of course, Godaime Hokage's head on the face of the mountain.
'…Looks ugly.' Was the first thought that came to his mind. 'Well certainly! They forgot to also put there her best part'.
The second discovery was not of such a large scale, but it still gave young man the creeps. The discovery itself was in the form of a small house, no scratch that, it was not even a house, a small hut perhaps. But there was something strange about this place.
'Hot blooded dojo?! What imbecile would name a place like this?'
Something inside Naruto told him to run away, and never look back. Still, jinchuuriki's curiosity was too much and he decided to come closer… that was until he heard crashing sounds of some punches, kicks, and something about the flames of youth. That same second the black clad shinobi decided to follow the advice of whoever was giving it.
The third and the most unsurprising discovery was his apartment building… or the ultimate lack of it.
'As to be expected from the good loving Konoha citizens.' He thought. "Well, it's not like I will be missing it, but… where the fuck am I gonna stay?!'
Good question and no answer… Hmm, actually that's a lie there was many answers. For example…
'I wonder… maybe ask my good Konoha friends? HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one! Fucking friends they are…'
There were other ideas.
'Hmm… kill someone and seize his apartment? A good idea actually, but not right now… maybe later.' He was still searching for an answer when he spotted a pair walking down the street. Suddenly an idea decided to visit his head. 'Hmm… catch a girl and crash in her place… Yes! That's it! Hmm, but who?' The alarm in his pocket interrupted his trail of thoughts. 'Oooh! It's time for me to show my skills! Haha, I bet she asked the cyclops to beat the shit out of me. Hmhmhm. Well, she's in for a big fucking surprise.' With that he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
When Naruto arrived, he found that twice in the same day his expectations were confirmed… the training ground thirty six was absolutely empty. 'Damn! They are so predictable, it's almost scary!' The blond boy ventured to a single tree and sat down. 'Well, it can't be helped. I guess, I'm just gonna wait for them to arrive.' Making himself comfortable, he put his hand behind his back and pulled out… a can of cola. 'There you are, my precious!' With a loud pshhhhht, Naruto opened the can and drank the contents in one go. "Ahhhhhh! The drink of gods!" But his enjoyment was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. 'Well well, almost on time even… should be Sakura…' The jinchuriki turned his head, and yes, that was definitely Sakura. 'Of course there could be a slight chance that it was some other girl that dyed her hair pink… yeah right! My chances of being Hokage are better than this.'
Haruno Sakura was walking to the training ground in a good mood. Sure, how could she be not?! Naruto was back from his training trip! That means soon they will receive the mission to get her oh-so-precious Sasuke-kun back! 'I wonder if that idiot learned something new, he was training under Jiraiya-sama after all.'
Oh if only she knew.
Training ground 36. Time: 15:00.
'Now where is everybody?' The pink haired kunoichi thought. 'I was told to come here, but there is no one… wait, someone's there.' Sakura looked at the bottom of a single tree and saw said someone. 'Oh… Ooh… Oooooh! Is this Naruto?! Damn he's… he's…' 'Hot Shannaro!' Was a sudden response from girl's counterpart. 'Yeah, he is… maybe even as hot as Sasuke-kun!' 'Sasuke-kun is better Shannaro!' 'Hmm… maybe, but still…' SHANNARO!' 'Alright, alright! Calm down, geez…' Ending discussion with… well herself, she went to the boy's location.
"Um… Naruto? Is that you?" 'Damn! We haven't seen each other in three years. What should I say?' Said boy slowly turned his head in her direction.
"Huh? Well if it isn't Sakura! Took you long enough." Turning away from her again, Naruto pulled out another cola can and started drinking.
'Sakura? What happened to chan? Hm… I guess he has changed somewhat.' "Nice outfit by the way. Much better then those jumpsuits you were wearing…" She wasn't allowed to finish.
"Of course it is. One of the bonuses of leaving the village…" Naruto took a sip from his can.
"What do you mean?"
Naruto chuckled. "Hmhmhm, pretty slow today, are you? What I mean is those jumpsuits were the only thing I was allowed to buy in this village."
That shocked young girl to the core. 'Why would people do this? Well yeah, Naruto did pull some pranks, but this is a bit extreme. Maybe if I ask him…'
"Care to explain?" asked Sakura in her usual bossy type.
Naruto only smirked. "Nope! Besides Kakashi is here… and he made it on time even." Above them on a tree branch said jounin appeared… with ever constant orange book in his hand.
"Yo!" Was jounin's short welcome.
"Ohayo Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura greeted her old mentor. Naruto said nothing. He just stood up and started to look around as if searching for something.
Kakashi jumped from the tree and landed on the ground. "Lost something Naruto?" He said making his usual eye smile.
No response.
"Oi Naruto!"
"Huh… what? You said something?"
Kakashi paled. 'Oh my god! He just… Damn! Did I start to look like Gai or something?'
The grey haired jonin tried not to show emotions. "Well I asked what you have been looking for."
Naruto thought for a second. "Oh yeah! Do you see a hell gate anywhere?"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "What? A hell gate? Why would it be here?"
Now Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking me? After making it on time that is."
Sakura's eyes widened 'Now that you mention it…'
Kakashi just face faulted. "Ha ha ha. Very funny Naruto. Now if the jokes are over…" The jounin put his hand in his weapon pouch and pulled out two bells. "You know what to do, right?" Sakura put her gloves on. Naruto just smirked. "Remember, you have to attack me with intent to kill, or you…" He tried to advice, until was interrupted.
"Hmhmhm, still as arrogant as always…" Naruto said and chuckled.
'What was that? He tried to provoke me? Him provoking ME? Well I'll show him, how it's done.' Kakashi concluded. "Hmm? I see you're still barking as loud as before. Hmm, should have expected that. I think…"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" Naruto responded.
Kakashi's face hardened.
"The fact of the matter is this, jabroni. You are telling an opponent with unknown skills to attack you with intent to kill. And they called me stupid." The jinchuuriki mocked.
Well that was it. The jounin closed his book and prepared to battle. "Okay you may do as you please; it is your test after all. Begin!" With that he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The test has begun.
"Why did you say that to sensei?" Sakura wanted to punch the blond boy right now, but they were in the middle of a test.
Said boy turned to her in surprise. "What stupid question is this? I said that because I wanted to. It's just that simple. Now why don't you make yourself useful and find the cyclops?"
A tick mark appeared on Sakura's forehead. 'Who does this idiot think he is talking to me like that?! I'll make him pay for this… but after the test.'
Two ex-teammates were standing on the plain. One was deep in concentration and the other… wasn't. In that very moment their thoughts were exactly:
'My time has come. I will show my strength and the results of my hard training.' – Sakura.
'I wonder who I should hook up tonight...' – Naruto.
Tracking chakra signatures was hard even for Sakura. Especially, tracking down someone like Kakashi. 'Damn! Can't find him. Hmm, maybe if I use logic… Where could he be?' Sakura looked around. 'Of course!' Gathering chakra into her right fist she jumped high in the air and with a loud scream slammed said fist into the ground, creating a small earthquake.
Between cracked rocks Kakashi laid with a scared look on his face. 'Damn! So she learned not only medical ninjutsu? Better be careful.' He thought.
Standing a little behind Sakura, leaning on the training post, Naruto had different thoughts. 'Well well, maybe this useless bitch is good for something after all.'
"Kakashi-sensei, I found you." Godaime's student said smiling.
The jounin sighed and jumped from the ground. "Well done Sakura… however finding me is only half of the job. Your goal is to get the bell.
Girl's eyes burned with determination. "Hai!" She took a battle stance and prepared to attack, forgetting about Naruto, who was still leaning on the post.
Meanwhile in nearby bushes Tsunade and Jiraiya were observing the events.
"You trained her well." Jiraiya said after some time of observing Sakura and Kakashi's taijutsu fight.
"But of course!" Tsunade said proudly. "Still, what do you think their chances are?"
"Hmm, it's hard to tell, but… what the hell is he waiting for?"
The Hokage didn't need pointers. She knew exactly who Jiraiya was talking about. "I don't know either, but why do you think he is waiting for something to happen?"
"Look at his stance." The hermit made a pause. "He's absolutely relaxed, but ready to jump in action any second. Then why doesn't he? There are actually two explanations. The first is… that he just doesn't give a fuck about this test."
Tsunade sweatdropped at this.
"The other is that he is waiting for something, but what can it be?"
Tsunade turned to the field again. "Hmm… interesting. Well, let's see and find out."
Back on the training field Sakura was throwing punches right and left, knowing that one landed hit will definitely end the test. 'Damn!' Kakashi thought. 'One mistake and I'm done for. Better be careful.' With that thought he pulled his headband up and revealed his precious sharingan eye.
Seeing this Naruto finally pushed himself off the post. 'Finally!' He sighed 'Took you long enough.' With that he started to slowly walk toward the fight.
With sharingan activated the jounin could easily predict Sakura's movements. One sloppy punch was enough for him to turn the tide. Kakashi just caught girl's arm by the wrist and threw her into a tree. 'Huff… huff, well that's one.' He turned left where Naruto stood with his hands in pockets. 'And one more to go.' "Do you think you can take me on by yourself?"
Naruto smirked. "Yep! I can, and I will." His smile grew. "And that's the bottom line, because Naruto said so!" With that he did one hand sign.
Sharingan could see it all. The blonde boy's chakra started to flow much faster. 'What the hell is he doing?' Trying to understand more he closed his normal eye and concentrated on the other one harder.
'NOW!' Thought Naruto, and flared his chakra in all directions.
"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!" Kakashi screamed and clutched his blinded eye.
In the bushes, the sannins could not believe, what they just saw.
"Jiraya! What was that? What has he done?"
"I… don't know." The old man could not believe that he was saying this. "I… really… don't know…"
Meanwhile on the training field, Naruto disappeared, and reappeared behind Kakashi in a crouched position. 'Come on… come on… COME ON!' The genin waited for his first mentor to turn around… and soon his patience was rewarded.
'Argh, little bastard what has he done to me?! Fuck it hurts! When I get him, I'll make him regret ever becoming a shinobi. Where is…?' To Naruto's great pleasure, that was the exact moment Kakashi decided to turn around…
"Heads up!" Naruto jumped high in the air and grabbed Kakashi's head.
"Hey Jiraiya! Isn't this…?!"
"Yeah, that's the move that knocked me out." 'Gotta find some counter.' He thought.
In the meantime Kakashi was occupied with thoughts of his own. 'Shiiit! Quick kawarimi… what didn't work? Oh fuck!' End of thoughts.
Naruto kick-jumped up and smiled at his handy work. "Well, that should do it. Could have taunted him some more and perform a 'thousand years of pain', but sticking fingers into a guy's ass isn't exactly my thing." After making sure that jounin was unconscious the black clad shinobi crouched down and retrieved a pair of bells from Kakashi's belt. "Well, that wasn't so bad." He said, turning to Sakura who finally succeeded in regaining her posture. "Here, catch!" with that Naruto threw one bell to the girl… hitting her right on the forehead.
"Wha… Ow! That hurt! What is…?" The Hokage student's eyes widened, when she saw what hit her. "This is… this is…"
"A bell, yes." Said Naruto, pulling out another can of cola.
The pink haired girl finally understood what happened. "Naruto, you…"
The boy finished her question. "Knocked him out, yes." He said taking a sip from his can. He looked absolutely calm and collected.
'Damn! He's not even winded!' Sakura thought.
"Congratulations. You did better than I expected." Someone said from behind them. Both teenagers turned around to face two sannins. "Still, I wonder about those techniques you used Naruto." The Hokage said.
Naruto tried to look innocent. "What techniques? I don't understand what you're talking about." Tsunade's look hardened.
"Stop playing games Naruto! You know what techniques I'm talking about!"
Naruto sighed. "Alright, alright. Fine. What do you want to know?"
Godaime smirked in triumph. "First, tell me what you did to Kakashi?"
Naruto looked at her in confusion. "Well, I knocked him out obviously."
A tick mark appeared on Tsunade's forehead. "Grrr. I meant his eyes!"
"What about them?"
"What have you done to them dammit!"
Naruto smiled. "Oh… that?" He took a sip of cola; "Just a little technique I created against eye doujutsu users, like Uchiha, and Hyuga."
"What? Naruto, you…" Sakura said trying not to stutter, but was interrupted again.
"Created a technique, yes…" She started to really annoy him.
"Why create such a technique?" That was already Jiraya.
"Why do you ask such a stupid question? Have you already forgotten who they sent for me?"
"I see. Good point." Jiraya made a pause "But tell me about the other move."
Naruto smirked. "Oh! Why would you ask about that? You were my first test subject for that move after all." Naruto chuckled.
The Hokage sweatdopped. "Stop joking Naruto and tell us about the move already!"
Genin's smirk faded. "Well, it's called RKO, and it was created especially for people who can't keep themselves out of Kawarimi no jutsu. That's all I will say."
Tsuinade narrowed her eyes. "Allright, fair enough. Now for your appointment." Godaime made a stoic face. "Uzumaki Naruto!"
"What?"
"Answer me!"
"Yeah, yeah." The genin took another drink from his can.
Tsunade just shook her head negative. Then she made a stoic face again. "Haruna Sakura!"
"Hai!"
"You two together with Hatake Kakashi will make team Kakashi."
Naruto looked behind his back and saw a still unconscious Kakashi, and then looked back at the Hokage. "Why team Kakashi?"
"Want to be a leader Naruto?" Tsunade asked.
Said boy thought for a second. "Nope, I don't."
"Then it's settled. Team Kakashi is to be in my office tomorrow morning at eleven o'clock."
"Yeah that's good and all, but what should we do about him?" Naruto pointed behind himself.
Tsunade looked at unconscious jounin. "Well by the looks of it he has a minor concussion. He will be as good as new after a night's sleep. Jiraiya, take him to hospital." With that said she turned and walked away.
"Fine." The toad sannin said. He walked to Kakashi and pulled him up. "Naruto, can you come here for a minute?" Naruto shrugged, but still walked to the sannin. "Tell me just one thing Naruto, were my teachings not good enough for you?"
The boy sighed. "And tell me what exactly were you going to teach me?" Jiraiya started to sweat. Well, that was an unexpected question.
"Well… um… you see… there was that jutsu and…"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Right, right. You may stop now. Let's face it – you weren't going to teach me anything. You just wanted to take me out of the village for a while, then discard me at Konoha and leave again like nothing happened. And there is Itachi, who will sooner or later come for my furry little friend and say his favorite…" Naruto tried to make his voice sound like Itachi's. "Ahem… It's time for you to come with me Naruto-kun." He coughed a few times to normalize his voice. "And what do you think I should say to him? Maybe… "Sure Itachi-chan! Your place, or mine?" huh? So you know what you can do? You can take your teachings, shine them up real nice, dust them off, and then, in front of the millions… AND MILLIONS of Naruto fans, you can take your teachings, turn them sideways and stick them straight up your candy ass!"
"I see." Jiraiya said and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving two teenagers behind.
'Hmm… we're alone… maybe I should?' 'Yeah, go for it, Shannaro!' 'You're right!' Sakura walked closer to the blonde haired boy. "Hey Naruto! How about we go and celebrate your return?" After two seconds of thinking she added "My treat!"
Naruto just looked at her, then, without saying a word he turned around, and started to walk with his back to her. 'I don't understand, is it yes or no?' 'Of course yes, Shannaro!'
"No." He said and then looked at her over his shoulder. "You're annoying." And after that he disappeared into thin air.
Sakura's world broke into glass.