Captain Man x Reader | Henry Danger Reader Insert: SEASON 5

Episode 10: Knight & Danger (SMUT)

*smutlet wasn't planned but I had encouragement and then I was inspired and then this sinfest was born. Nothing extreme (lies), just a light sprinkling of filth to get us started. SKIP IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS, THE HOKEY POKEY, THE TERRIBLE TANGO, THE—you get the picture*

*oh, and this episode features Joker and The Queen by big Ed and Tay-Tay because this is the song for our sweet girl and her doofus and I think it fits the vibe*

~Junk-N-Stuff~

Novelty lamps? Check.
Assorted ping pong balls? Check.
Hula skirts in various sizes? Check.
Creepy clapping monkeys with cymbals? Check.
New shipment of fifty glow-in-the-dark lightbulbs? Ten, fifteen, twenty—wait... Ten, fifteen, twenty... Twenty?

"Doofus, I'm trying to do something here!" (y/n) whined as she tried to count what the store above her home did and didn't have, but her attempts were thwarted by someone trying their best to distract her.

It had been a late start to the morning and she had a lot to do because of said late start; the shop floor needed to be swept, the displays needed to be adjusted and fixed but most importantly, she needed to check her list of items in the storeroom around the back to see what they had plenty of and whether they needed to place an order.

But that was hard when a strong pair of hands were wandering from her waist to her tummy to her hips and...elsewhere.

"It's a fake store, sweetheart. You don't need to worry so much...I don't," Ray replied, kissing down his sweet girl's neck as her shaking hands wandered through the shelves. She was trying to keep counting, hoping to come up with a figure so she could finish up and give him the attention he was so desperately craving but her brain couldn't grasp any numbers right now, even though they were her speciality. He was too good at distracting her.

"Yeah, I know you don't, Raymond. But fake store or not, our customers are going to get suspicious when they come in to buy some junk and find that we have nothing to sell. So, that means I have to take stock, which is easier said than done when you've got hands...there," she scolded him, rolling her eyes when she felt his smirk grow against her skin and she knew that he'd never feel any shame for what he was doing, not when she showed that she loved it just as much as he did.

His fingers were playing with the button and zipper on her jeans, flicking the metal slider and circling his finger around the cold stud, taunting that he might or might not pop it open and slide it down.

"But baby, it's been so long since this morning—since I last had you..." Now, he was the one whining, a high-pitched lilt in the back of his throat that told her that he wanted something and wasn't going to stop until he got it or got pushed away. But his statement was ridiculous; after all, there was a reason why she'd started so late, much later than she normally would on a Saturday morning when the teens were due to come in for work.

"It was an hour ago! And I've been trying to catch up on work ever since, so go...do it yourself," (y/n) muttered, feeling her cheeks heat up at the thought but she didn't have time for "action", not the sort he was after anyway. Henry, Charlotte and Jasper would be in the store any minute and she'd melt into a puddle should they see or hear or sense something that didn't involve them.

Seriously, Henry's poop jokes would end and in the ashes would rise the endless teasing of how they did it in the back room. Nuh-uh, no way, Pedro, no thanks and goodnight. Besides, he'd loved her for years before they'd gotten together, so surely, one more round going solo wouldn't hurt.

"Hour's too long and anyway, I can't fuck my hand, sweet girl."

"And why's that?" She looked over her shoulder, inhaling sharply at how the air in the room had seemingly gone from frigid to suffocatingly hot in point five seconds.

Only he could beat her argument of staying focused by being so crude, only he could say one thing and have her full attention, despite all her big talk about focusing on the task at hand and how he was the culprit who delayed her in the first place. She was intrigued, though. Most guys would happily take self-pleasure over no pleasure at all and they'd also probably think that they'd get lucky next time but not her doofus. He wasn't like most guys.

"I'm not interested in myself...I'm just after this," Ray whispered hotly and nipped at the skin under her ear as his fingers expertly worked the button on her jeans, poking it through the hole in the denim until it was open and then it was just a matter of slowly sliding down the zipper.

Show off; he only had one hand but that was all he needed, just four fingers and a thumb to open her pants and pull them down by just a fraction. Not much, no more than an inch, just enough to loosen them so his fingers could dip past her waistband and into her cotton panties. Okay, so, that was his plan all along.

"Shouldn't have worn these jeans, pretty girl. Shouldn't have reached for the top shelf either," he growled, the throaty noise reverberating in her ear and causing the woman to release a soft, barely audible moan.

Honest, he hadn't come upstairs looking for trouble, he'd actually ventured into his store to see what she was up to and if she needed help since she was on the shorter side when it came to stacking shelves but then, when he'd stepped out of the elevator, all he'd been able to see as she reached for a pink flamingo garden piece was denim pulled tight and smoothed across her ass, which was perfectly on display as her shirt rode up.

"I walk in and I see this," the hand that had been holding her hip came back around to squeeze and knead her flesh briefly, "--this perfect ass practically presented to me," a rough slap to her left cheek and his hand left the part that had made him spiral into temptation in the first place, leaving the handprint there to sting numbly under the jean material.

At this point, (y/n) was breathless, her breathing coming into soft pants as his digits danced and stroked around her mound, pulling back and then returning in a torturous rhythm that left her wanting what she'd originally avoided, but not on the verge of being incoherent. Not yet anyway.

"I was—am working, d—doofus. I needed to s-stretch to get to the—the lightbulbs," the heroine argued, her voice breaking every time a fingertip dipped into her slit and brushed against her clit. There was nearly no pressure, he wouldn't allow her that luxury yet, no, Ray was going at a leisurely pace that suited nine AM and he found the way she jolted in his arms with each touch too hot to stop. A strong arm had curled around her upper body, leaving her torso immobile against his so all she could do was squirm in his hold and take what he gave her. And he had a lot to give.

"Oh, you're working? My sweet, little girl is working? Does that mean she doesn't want my hand down her pants, playing with her little pussy and the mess she made after I fucked her this morning?" He asked in a light, mocking tone, not enough to frustrate her but enough to make her wriggle when he pretended as though he was about to leave her alone.

He would never be that cruel, not when he'd been the one to seek her out in the first place to pull more sweet moans from her lips.

The previous hour hadn't been enough, not when she'd only come once and for a guy like him, who thrived off the pleasure of his partner, it didn't sit right. He wasn't looking for another fuck, that would take time and it would be messy and as much as he wanted to, they couldn't spend the entire day like animals, but he was looking to set the ratio right; three to one, that's how he normally played it. One had been given, two to go, but the lightbulbs still needed counting, even if the idea of a glow-in-the-dark lightbulb was ridiculous.

Running his fingers lightly through her lips once, not enough for a lot of stimulation, but enough to explore, he could feel the wetness that had gathered there earlier and dare he say the cum he'd pumped into her, slowly leaking out, even though it belonged in her pussy and nowhere else.

He groaned gutturally, harshly panting into her ears as she whimpered, bucking her hips into his hand when he returned to her clit, circling it once to smear the pearly stickiness that he'd left behind. Shit, did she know how hot she was?

"No—no, I'm your good g-girl. Please, s-sir—" a harsh tap landed on her clit, causing her whole body to tense and jerk at the rippling pleasure that seized her every nerve. It would've been a harder hit if he'd had the space to pull back his hand properly, but it was enough of a warning to make her bite her lips and be quiet, his good girl. But—good girls know what to call the ones giving them such pleasure.

"What do you call me, little one?"

"Captain!—I-I'm your good girl. Please, Captain, keep playing my pussy. Please, I need it." Had (y/n) not felt the pulsating need in her core, she would've been embarrassed by how needy she was, and even more embarrassed by how slick her blazing cunt was.

It was their dirty, little secret that she sometimes walked around filled with his cum and then when he finally had another chance to get her alone, Ray took great delight in peeling her underwear down her legs and seeing what had stained the fabric. But for now, he also loved how he could switch between rubbing tight, fast circles and doing nothing.

"Precious girl, I know you need it. This cunt is insatiable," Ray murmured, savouring the sensation of silky, velvety slick coating his digits as he ran his fingers back and forth, stopping once to curl his fingertip into her clenching hole just once so he could push his seed into her again, but being filled was what so sorely craved; a fingertip wasn't enough. "But it's like you said. You have work to do."

"Wha—? Noooo, no work now. It's not important—just a—I'll just do it in a minute," the girl whimpered, fighting relentlessly against his iron grip to no avail because the minute she started whining, he began retreating.

It was all part of Ray's game; turn her from a normal, functioning human being to a dripping mess in under five minutes and then refuse to go any further once she was aching with desire and then, he could tease her, taunt her, her until she went crazy...or at least until he decided that teetering on the brink of pleasure wasn't enough to satisfy his need to have her in his arms.

The bulbs needed counting, it was unavoidable and his sweet girl had often said that she was the queen of multitasking.

"Count them."
"W-what?" She blinked in surprise at his sudden command, having no idea what he was talking about since she couldn't think through the haze that clouded her mind.

Count what? The number of orgasms he was going to rip from her body? The number of minutes he'd tease her for? The number of fingers he'd be able to fit inside her? The number of seconds they had left until someone came into the shop, whether they be a friend or stranger?

She didn't know what he wanted, apart from that he wanted her like putty in his hands and wouldn't stop until she was twitching and oversensitive.

"I said, count the fucking lightbulbs, sweet girl. Do your job and I'll do mine," he ordered her, his voice deep and rough yet gentle in his command as his thumb kept its circling pace on her throbbing clit. "I'll push my cum back into your perfect, little pussy and while I do that, you can do the last job on your list. Seems fair, right?"

"No. No, I can't—Ray—I-I can't think or c-count—" (y/n) begged for mercy, knowing that focusing on anything but what he was doing to her was going to be near impossible. The pressure of her clit was heavenly, and so was the occasional finger that slid in to stroke her walls, it was too much...and yet he wanted her to do math at the same time. It couldn't be done, surely. Speech was difficult at that moment, let alone keeping track of what she'd looked at and what still needed attention.

"Yes, you fucking can, smart little girl. You can see if there's fifty bulbs here or not—and you'll take whatever I give you in the meantime," Ray snarled against her neck, dragging his canine down to her pulse point until she gasped at the sensation.

Fuck, he could feel how her cunt clenched around nothing when he did and he suddenly became very aware of how hard he'd grown in his jeans. Rock-solid, twitching, ready to just slide into her pussy—it would take it, he could feel how wet she was—and if he wasn't trained in rarely practised patience, would've pulled her jeans over her ass and fucked her hard against the shelf, game or not.

But, where was the fun in that? He much preferred to see her cum than himself and giving in now would leave a disappointing anticlimax as if he wolfed down what he should've played with first. This was about his darling fiancée, he'd been allowed to make her orgasm more than just the meagre one she'd experienced earlier and he was gonna take that chance. Anything to hear her moans and sighs of pleasure, his be damned.

"Come on. Count." Swallowing harshly, (y/n) looked into the crate of stock that she'd pulled from the top shelf—the action that had caught his attention. There were so many and they all looked the same, how the hell was she supposed to do this properly?

An estimate wasn't allowed, it had to be accurate for the books and giving up would result in her being left to finish herself off and then would be downright abysmal in comparison to what her doofus could give her. His fingers were longer, thicker, faster, leagues in front of hers, so she just had to go for it, and that was precisely Ray decided to plunge into her heat.

"O-one—fuck—two—three—three—four—f-five..." It was a shaky start, but then again, she was shaking quite badly herself. Her knees felt like jelly and her core was pulled tight as one finger curled in and out of her pussy, palm brushing her clit every time it did, making it torture to keep going. Her eyes wanted to snap shut and work on grinding her hips into Ray's hand, anything to chase the climax that was on the horizon, building up in the pit of her stomach, but she knew that he wouldn't like that.

But she was trying her best and that was what he liked, especially when he saw what he was doing to the woman who could do her sixteen times tables in her sleep.

"Good girl, keep going. This cunt is so tight, so needy, it's practically sucking my hand in—you wouldn't think it was fucked an hour ago," the man rambled, spilling whatever filth came to mind because he thrived off it as much as she did. She was so sweet when she whined for him, so sweet when he bit and suckled on her neck to leave fleeting bruises that never lasted long enough for him to admire. It was one downside to her superpower, but not one to dwell on, not when she was piecing her mind together to get the job done.

"Five—t-ten—fifteen—twen—twenty—twenty-five—thirty" her hand brushed over each bulb as she counted, ticking off clouded boxes in her head as the other gripped the metal shelves for dear life and slowly but surely, she started racking up the tally to the rhythm of his pumping finger. She could handle one, one wasn't bad, it wasn't what she needed but it was a start and not too distracting as she counted, so she was grateful. But Ray wasn't feeling merciful and it wasn't meant as a favour either. One was just the beginning.

"Thir—oh, fuck, yes..." her counting was thrown off when a second digit prodded at her entrance before sliding in to join the other, generating a delicious burn at the new thickness. Again, it wasn't enough, nothing would be unless it was his perfect cock but being filled more ever so slightly was enough to short circuit her brain and stop her fingers from tapping each lightbulb as she went.

For a moment, numeracy was out of the window and she lost herself in the one thrust backwards she allowed herself, moaning when the fingers entered her more roughly and his palm gave hard pressure to her bud. She needed more and she found it, but as quickly as it came, Ray caught her and took it away.

"No—no. Don't test me, sweet girl. This pussy is mine to fuck or not fuck, so don't be getting ahead of yourself. Stop pouting, that mouth is better off finishing what you started before I leave you here to make yourself come on the dirty floor of the back room."

"Thirty," she knew he wasn't joking, he could easily step away and leave her a twitching mess on the floor and the idea of losing the fullness of his fingers made her break into reality again with enough clarity to finish what she started, "—thirty-five—forty—forty-f-five."

"That's it, so close, my love. So nearly there and I just know that you're almost ready to cum, aren't you?" He asked gently, kissing her cheek when she gave him a quick succession of nods. Fuck yes, she wanted to cum and there were only five left to count, not long to bring her to the die, so Ray upped the ante and slid a third finger into her hole.

She was filled fully now, too shaky to try and add a fourth, that only happened on rare occasions when he wanted to keep her up all night, but three were satisfying enough. He pumped them slowly, wanting his girl to get used to them before he broke her into pieces and put her back together again, but for (y/n), even the slow pace was enough to drag her to the edge and hold her there.

"Yes. Yes, please, I want to cum so bad."

"Finish your job then, sweet girl. Finishing counting and you can cream this little pussy for me," he smirked, increasing the pace a little bit to make her walls tighten but not enough to push her over. He knew the signs, he knew when to stop and back off, he knew how to get her right back there because this was his game—and she was determined to finish it.

"O—kay...forty-five. One—two...three—f-four—five—fifty!" The quivering woman gasped, immediately rocking her hips into him when the winning number fell from her lips and she'd never felt relief like it. "Fifty—they're all here! Please, Captain—please, can I cum now?"

"Fuck, of course, you can. You're my good girl, aren't you? Cum on my fingers—that's it—fuck..." Ray groaned as his fingers pumped into her at a lightning speed, rubbing her clit furiously as his crotch met her ass and the ensuing hardness that ground against her taut flesh was enough to shove her across the line.

White, hot light seemed to stab through her body as she came—hard—instinctively pressing her ass further into his hips as if she was trying to pull his cock into her further, only it was his fingers that she was clamping down on. A broken moan fell from her lips as she was crowded against the shelves, completely at his mercy as Ray got off on the sight of her facial expressions, right up until the waves of pleasure started to dissipate.

"Shit—shit, you're so hot, sweet girl, so fucking hot when you cum for me," he panted, feeling an all-to-familiar feeling creeping up his spine as his hips kept gyrating against her plump ass, his cock falling against his zipper perfectly like it was looking to slot in between her cheeks. Fuck, he couldn't take it, not when he felt her twitch again at the feeling of his hardness. Insatiable. "Fuck, pull these jeans down for me. Hurry up, need to see it—need to see your pussy before I—"

Even though the world seemed to be spinning after cumming so hard, (y/n) didn't need to be told twice, not when he practically barked the order at her. Upon hearing the sound of Ray's zipper going down and the rustling of fabric, her thumbs hooked her waistband and shoved her pants down over her ass, not to the floor, just enough to expose her glistening lips as she leaned on the shelves and presented to him. Just because she'd come ten seconds ago didn't mean she wasn't up to take him any time, any place.

"Show me—fuck—I can see my cum oozing out of you, sweet girl—" Ray's eyes darkened to the point of nearly swallowing the brilliant blue of his irises entirely when he saw the creamy mess of her puffy cunt. Dripping, clenching, vulnerable and for his eyes only as she wiggled it at him for a split second and it was enough to cement the idea in his head. He'd wanted this to be about her, he'd wanted to give her more orgasms since they'd woken up late and only had time for one each, which wasn't the usual agenda, but he couldn't ignore his throbbing hard-on any longer.

He opened his fly, popped his jean button and pulled down his underwear, freeing himself in time to position the tip at her molten opening and push in. (y/n) had no time to react as his length slipped in with no resistance, aided by her slick-coated walls and the embarrassing amount of pre-cum that had built up as he watched her fall apart. The sudden thickness made her clench harshly and Ray couldn't stop himself from cumming; it shot up his spine and took them both by surprise the second he bottomed out, tip pressed deep inside of her as he shot his load and painted her walls white.

"Shit, Ray—cum-cumming—again," she gasped when the hot, sticky substance filled her—the oddest sensation that she loved but never got used to—and it was enough to make her quivering walls convulse again. As if it was commanded of her, (y/n) came again, this time being wrung out dry by the perfect cock that she could clench around.

All they could hear were ragged pants and the ticking sound of the wacky clocks on the shop floor as Ray held her to his chest like his life depended on it, pelvis not leaving her ass cheeks until his heart rate had slowed considerably. It was true, he'd cum like a teenager, one second of having her walls around him and he was a goner but to be fair to him, he did get off on her orgasms and any man would ruin themselves if they had her on their dick—not that they'd ever get the chance.

"That was unexpected," (y/n) was the first to speak, gulping with a rather dry mouth after all of her ragged breathing and moans. Ray shuffled behind her so she turned her head to find his lips, sharing a gentle kiss after an intense session to round it off sweetly and she could feel his smile against her cheek when he pulled away to kiss that too, and then her jaw, temple and the top of her head. He got soppy after sex and a quickie in the storeroom was no different, even if the aftercare couldn't be as good.

"Can't help it, sometimes. But I remembered I only made you cum once earlier and then, I definitely couldn't help it," Ray replied goofily, his need to be a dominant sex god draining away and leaving the same old, lovable idiot he was before and she shook her head at his logic. Right, he'd made it his mission and whilst she'd been fine with just one session that morning, considering they were behind in starting the day, it had not sat right with him.

"Whatever you say, doofus. Just warn me next time you want to fuck me upstairs. Y'know, anyone could walk in—"

"Nah, nah, nah, bro, I swear, Club Soda was bought by some rich kid last month."

"Henry, I know what I'm talking about! Trust me, when I went on Friday, the same old guy was still behind the bar!"

"Jasper, aren't you a little old for Club Soda? I mean, did you do your weird dance moves with a bunch of twelve-year-olds?"

"Hey, the J-man Shuffle is not weird! My mom likes it..." they couldn't make it up; they were still catching their breath as the signature sound of the T-Rex breathing fire and three voices entered the store, and they weren't customers.

Ray didn't need to feel his girl tense and wriggle in his arms to know that play time was over and he hastily let her out of his embrace and gently pulled his softening cock from her slick, swollen pussy. A quiet grumble left his lips when he saw the mess he'd left behind; pearly white leaking through soft lips and down to her clit. The sight was glorious but if he stared any longer, he'd find himself running back down to Man Cave for a cold shower and leaving her to give his excuses. No, they were satiated...for now.

"Keep my cum inside you, sweet girl, where it belongs... That's my good girl," he grinned when she pushed her ass towards him even more when he pulled her panties back up, hiding his favourite sight from view until later that night. It was a shame but a man could daydream and they needed to straighten themselves out quickly so normality could resume.

He tucked himself away and buttoned his jeans again as she tugged hers up and did the same, allowing him one last look at how they smoothed and shaped her ass perfectly. It made for a pretty picture, one that he could help but fondle gently one last time.

"You're such an ass man. You never leave it alone."

"I think you mean I'm a you man, babe. I can't leave you alone," he replied smugly, enjoying his dumb little joke when it tugged a smile on her lips that she couldn't smother. That was more accurate; he loved her ass, hips, tummy, thighs, boobs, face, hair, legs, feet, ears, nose, mouth, everything about her. And he didn't love them on anyone else, just her because he was what Henry would call "whipped".

"Okay, scratch that. You're such a dork, Raymond," she smiled and lifted the lightbulb tray back onto the high shelf, only to be helped by him when she couldn't quite stretch. She patted him on his pec as a small thanks and headed for the beaded curtain so they could make an appearance in the store before suspicion could be aroused and of course, Ray followed her heels like a love-sick puppy. Anything to stare at her butt as she walked away.

*AND WE ARE SAFE. Thank you for "coming", the ride is now over, please pick up your tongues and exit the smut with caution. We thank you for choosing Ruth's abomination that has landed us all in hell as we are now all filthy sinners. Bye-bye and have a lovely day.*

"Why's Ray a dork?" Henry's head picked at the noise of the infamous couple coming from the back. The three teens had perfectly clueless faces as they smiled at their boss and his fiancée, appearing like the ideal, idyllic couple as they floated into the store, him trailing after her with droll practically running down the sides of his mouth. They were so in love, it was cute, but what could he have possibly done or said to make him more of a dork than usual?

"Uh—well—he—we—"

"I told (y/n) a really funny story!" Ray quickly lied, seeing how his sweet girl was struggling to come up with something believable to tell their innocent faces. She couldn't tell them that they'd been having a steamy rendezvous in the storeroom, they would never go in there again unless it was hosed down and sterilised.

And of course, being the funny man he was, he had material to back up his claim, so there was no need to worry her pretty little head about anything. All she needed to do was stand there, look gorgeous and admire him in his hot, blue shirt.

"Oh, right...let's hear it then," Charlotte smiled, eager to hear this story that had amused (y/n) and that would hopefully amuse them. She was all for funny stories and even if it was a little corny, enough to label him a dork, they'd never satisfy their curiosity until he spilt the beans.

"Okay, so there's this bowling alley downtown, right? Well, it used to be downtown, it got demolished a few years ago, but it was super popular back in the day, y'know when I was in my...early twenties. Anyray, I was there with a gir—a person once—" he started, plucking the most random funny story he could from his memory. It wasn't the best story, it was long and rambling, old and irrelevant but he was sticking with it. He had to, although some details were rather unfortunate.

"Ray, I don't care if you went on a date with a girl when you were younger. I went on dates with guys too, you can say it," (y/n) told him gently, not missing how he avoided so the g-word with her around. It was silly really, unnecessary; she knew that he'd done some normal things just as she had, dates, sneaking out, making out, driving out, everything that a boy could get up to as he progressed into manhood and through his hero training, she couldn't be mad at him for that.

Hell, he'd once taken three separate girls on three separate dates in the early days of their friendship and they'd still found their way into each other's arms. It was okay, it was normal, not some big secret.

"...Thanks, sweet girl," the hero smiled at her softly and curled an arm around her waist as they stood before the curious kids, who were hanging onto his every word, "—So, the guy that owns the bowling alley, he comes out from the back and he says to me this guy, he says, I got a hundred bucks here for anybody willing to box this kangaroo."

"You mean like...put him in a box?"
"Why would you put a kangaroo in a box?"
"You should not cage animals," the teens told him, finding the tale weird from the get-go. First of all, it had been so long since Ray had confessed to (y/n)—or it felt like it anyway—so it was weird to imagine the man with anyone else. Second of all, they'd never heard of there being a bowling alley downtown, old or not. And third of all, what were these people doing to the kangaroo? They couldn't tell if this was a nice story or not, or more likely, a shaggy dog story that was a figment of Ray's imagination.

"No, box, like boxing. Like, put on boxing gloves and fight," the large man clarified, wanting to make clear that he didn't lock up some poor kangaroo, he intended to fight it instead. Which, of course, was so much better.

"You should not fight animals."
"Yeah, doofus," oh, (y/n) was loving this. Ray gave her a dry look as she smirked up at him, loving how he was forced to tell this story with no prior rehearsal. No frills, no lies, just the truth as he remembered it and as the teens found it hard to believe him, she studied his every facial twitch. A peck on her forehead kept her quiet, but not for long. If he loved to tease then so did she.

"Well, darlin', I didn't. As I put on my boxing gloves, my cousin's car comes smashing through a wall!" Ray exclaimed, letting go of his sweet girl as he got more and more animated and into the story. He could recall the thrill, the adrenaline, the craziness of the story, he almost didn't believe it himself, but he'd been there. They just had to take his word for it...with a pinch of salt.

"So, I dive out of the way before my cousin could run me over with his car, and naturally, the kangaroo, he jumps straight up into the air and he lands right—"
"Uh, do you guys hear that?" Charlotte asked, butting into Ray's big climax with little animosity, merely a curiosity for what the hell was going on outside. Now that she said that, there was an awful racket going on past the glass, not that they could see anything happening on the road. It sounded like screams and crashes? Eh? Should they be concerned or had the circus arrived in town early?

"It's just a bunch of people screaming. Now, the kangaroo lands right on top of the clown! Now, we don't know if the clown is okay at this point—we don't know if he's dead, we don't know if he's alive..." Ray moved on, ignoring whatever was going on because he had started so he'd finish. He even tried to get (y/n) to stay with him, clawing for her waist absentmindedly when she wandered over to the door to see if she could find something out. Who cares? He looked good today, he had one of his best shirts on, and his biceps were out, why would she want to look at anything else as he told the best story ever?

"Uh, those screams are getting louder," Henry pointed out, feeling like the people in trouble were getting closer, not that it made a slight bit of difference.

"Then so am I. My aunt was an amateur lion tamer!" The man shouted at the top of his voice, earning him a pointed look from his sweet girl as she gave up trying to see. The view was too narrow and clearly, he needed supervision, judging by how he wasn't using his inside voice. With her back by his side, or rather, with her arms wrapped around his waist and her cheek smushed against his back in a hug from behind, the hero calmed down and returned to his story.

"Now, everybody thought, hey, she can tame lions, she can probably tame tigers, right? As it turns out...not the case at all," the more random his story got, the worse the situation got outside, up until the point where it was turning into a Captain Man and co sitch. Come on, people were running past, screaming at the top of their voices, clearly terrified of something and trying to get away from it, how could he ignore that? Oh, right, he could ignore anything with the love of his life by his side and an amusing story to tell.

"Ray, sweetheart, those people look scared," (y/n) said to him softly, pulling away from his back so he lost the warmth she gave him and it sucked. Five minutes, that's all he needed. Five short minutes to wrap up his story, kiss her senseless and then go out to see what was going down. Was that too much to ask for? Captain Man waited for Swellview, couldn't they do the same for once?

"You wanna know who was scared? My aunt in a circus tent surrounded by tigers! Now, my cousin comes out of the back, right? And he's like, we gotta go to Florida real quick."
"I think that guy's on fire," Jasper pointed out and everyone turned around to see the horror on some poor man, whose sleeve was ablaze. He was understandably panicking, waving his arm around in an attempt to smother or blow out the flames but nothing was working. All he could do was scream and pray that it didn't spread. So, it was left to the Man Cave team to wonder what the hell was out there that could set something on fire like that.

"Great! We will call the fire department after my story!" Ray told him firmly, growing frustrated at how close to ten minutes had elapsed and he still wasn't near the end. And he would've been able to finish it, probably, had a weirdo not burst through the door, shocking them all to the core. What the—?

"What is this land? Where is Astoria?" The stranger demanded to know, which would've been rude and odd enough had he not been dressed in a full suit of armour. Not like swat team armour, no, proper solid steel, shiny, medieval, knight saves the princess armour, the kind that you'd see in an old castle full of treasures. And not only that, his entire vibe screamed weirdo, plus, he also screamed literally. He spoke with a powerful, commanding tone that held an archaic lilt as if he was from five centuries prior. All around, his sudden presence was a shock but as the teens froze and (y/n) instinctively glued herself to Ray's side, the man knew how to deal with him perfectly.

"Uh, I'll be with you in a second, pal! I'm telling a-storia right here," he replied calmly, keeping her noise down and not rising to the man's challenge. How dare he come into his store and start mouthing off. This asshat could wait patiently like all of his other customers did and maybe if he was lucky and if he didn't scare his precious girl again, he'd be served with a polite smile.

"I need a sword!" The knight demanded and to their surprise, began pushing over displays and rooting through the fallen junk to see if he could find a suitable weapon. It was like he had no etiquette at all, but Ray wasn't diverting from his zero-tolerance policy. Junk-N-Stuff was a front anyway, he didn't care if some of the items broke, as long as he got to speak before this guy did.

"Dude, that guy's breaking a bunch of stuff," Henry pointed to the man, who was seriously testing (y/n)'s patience as he knocked over piles and piles of stuff that she'd straightened out earlier that morning. Hang on, who was this dick? This was her home, her store that she ran and he was tearing everything apart—if it wasn't for the hand suddenly placed on her shoulder, she'd have stormed over there and scratched those stupid face tattoos right off his stupid cheeks. Her doofus needed to do something, use those big muscles, that big mouth, anything before she blew a casket.

"Who cares? It's a fake store."
"Raymond, we went through this earlier. Fake store or not—"
"Now, I don't know if the clown and my aunt were dating or not...I didn't ask any questions," Ray brushed past anyone's concerns and slung an arm around (y/n)'s shoulders as if that would be enough to keep her calm. The woman huffed in frustration, eager to rip that guy's head off if she was given the chance. It was like she'd said earlier; a fake store didn't give the knight a free pass to be a bully and neither did it mean that she wanted to piss away money on the ruined stock, something she wished she could get into her doofus' head.

"Where's the nearest castle?" The intimidating man demanded to know, no manners about him at all. He was used to getting his own way, whether that be in whatever play he was starring in or whether he genuinely had minions to order about, but now, Ray too was getting annoyed. He was the alpha around these parts, when he wanted silence, he generally got it and no one challenged his position as the leader of the team, so he wasn't going to let some asshole with ideas above his station change that.

"Hey, guy. You are interrupting my story!" He growled, but even his authority didn't do much.

"There's a Burger Castle about a mile that way."
"Yeah, turn left when you walk out and keep going until you get hit by the smell of French fries," Jasper and (y/n) told him, not thinking much of it because that was the nearest thing Swellview had to a castle. A medieval-themed fast food restaurant down the road that served normal, cheap food, paper crowns and foam swords, nothing special. But it was the best thing they had to offer and maybe it would please the rude man into leaving them in peace—and apparently, a "castle of burger" was what he was looking for now that he'd found a novelty sword amongst the junk.

"Your loyalty will be rewarded when I am king. I shall consider you as queen consort," The knight pointed his stolen sword at Jasper and bowed his head at (y/n). His reply was shocking but also kinda...satisfying as he turned and stomped through the door with the same pomp that he'd entered with, leaving Ray to silently clench his jaw at how he'd mentioned taking his sweet girl as his queen. He'd quickly that she was already his queen, his love and next he'd find a boot up his ass if he dared to steal her away. Still, he was gone, nothing to worry about...story time?

"Nice!"
"No, not nice!" For Jasper, the idea of a reward sounded quite nice, but (y/n) felt a shiver run down her spine. Queen? She didn't want to be queen, not with someone like that, the worst example of a future king she'd ever seen. She wanted to be a sweet girl to a superhero doofus, nothing more, and so, she labelled the retreating weirdo as a madman.

"Dude, I think we have a bit of a situation here we need to deal with," Henry turned to his boss, deeply perturbed by what had just transpired in the small junk shop. First, he hadn't been filled with confidence by the hoarders of screaming people, then there was the man on fire and now, the storm in a teacup that was the knight was just the cherry on top of a rather worrying cake. Definitely a situation, one that needed three superheroes to swoop in and save the day. Hint-hint, wink-wink.

"You want to talk about a situation, try driving up a mountain with your cousin, your aunt, a clown, a kangaroo—"
"Hey, Ray!" and the story would have to wait yet again. As Ray tried to get it going again, y'know, inspire a bit of enthusiasm in the teens or even his sweet girl who were no longer interested, but it was useless, especially when Schwoz came barrelling onto the shop floor. He rarely came up this far, preferring to hide down in the Man Cave with his gadgets, tools and projects like Gollum, but this looked like an emergency. Why else would he be holding the emergency phone line that was weirdly stretching a hell of a long way? How did he do that?

"What?! What?! What?! Schwoz, I'm trying to tell a story here!" The hero exclaimed, frustration coating his every word. This story was meant to be a cover-up for what had occurred in the storeroom and now it was turning into a nightmare, but one he was going to finish even if it killed him. His sweet girl would listen, right? He listened to all of his stories, even if she'd heard them before and sometimes, even when it wasn't for her benefit—the benefit of being her beloved idiot.

"Emergency call from Bill Evil," Schwoz explained and held the phone out with his hand covering the receiver. Lord forbid that the most irresponsible scientist in Swellview heard someone's name or a scrap of revealing information. However, it had been so long since the portal to another dimension incident that Jasper had forgotten about it completely, including the man responsible for kidnapping Piper, and the trouble his boss and his friends had gone to save her from a really nice alien monster man.

"Who?"
"Bill Evil!"
"Oh, right, he's the Chairman of Evil Science Corp," (y/n) recalled the stress they'd gone through to find Piper after thinking she was being murdered. She also remembered the purple goo that she'd been covered in after going through the portal and how it made her hair smell like candy floss and boot polish for two weeks. And finally, she shivered when the memory of how Ray intimidated the man into confessing everything, using his tall stature and deepest growling voice to make a mouse out of him so he'd cop to being a massive idiot. Come on, who names their company "Evil Science Corp" and not expect to be found out?

"He opened the door to another dimension on Halloween..." Charlotte added, jogging the boy's memory. Right, that's what he split his lip open and talked funny. Fun times. But, more seriously, if the guy was calling, it had to be important, right? No bad guy phoned unless something really bad was happening. Ever.

"I think we should take the call, dude," said Henry, who thought that they should do the sensible thing and at least hear the guy out.

"Fine! We'll take it in the Man Cave," Ray conceded, hearing their arguments and deciding that yes, it might be a good idea to take the emergency call. Something about promising his girl that he'd be a little less selfish and a little more self-aware. But, he did use his head for once though, in the form of agreeing to answer the call but only when he was in his headquarters and his uniform. That way at least, no one would see or hear anything that wasn't meant for them, even if Schwoz had gone to the trouble of coming half a mile up.

"But I brought the phone all the way up here with this hilarious long phone cord," the genius pouted, having thought that his idea was courteous, funny and cool. When was he gonna get another chance to use the mile-long cord again? Probably never.

"I said we'll take it in the Man Cave!!" One snap from Ray and he clammed up.

"You know it's best not to argue with him Schwoz, it makes him moody. Let's go, Hen," (y/n) sighed, throwing the repairman a sympathetic look as she followed after her man-child so she, Miss Danger, could see what Bill had to say. Henry was quick to follow too, looking at his friends one last time before they disappeared through the beaded curtain and into the storeroom. Hopefully, the kid wouldn't pick up on any "vibes".

"Yeah, coming, (y/n/n)—All right, see ya! That guy's still on fire," Henry waved to Jasper and Charlotte, knowing that the time to socialise was over and that he had to do some actual hero work. And so could they if they were feeling humane, after all, the same guy from before came running into the ship with his arm still flaming and smouldering.

Hopefully, they'd find where (y/n) kept the fire extinguisher, something Jasper should've known, because, at the end of the day, they all took an oath to help the citizens of Swellview, even if the action did seem far away sometimes.

~Downstairs~

Having put Bill Evil on hold for a few minutes, Ray, Henry and (y/n) quickly blew their bubbles and changed into their uniforms. They preferred speaking to the man on the computer's monitor rather than crawling on top of each other to hear through one itty-bitty phone; this way, they could read his facial expressions and ensure that he wasn't bullshitting them.

So, as Schwoz sat on the floor with his legs spread out like a teddy bear, reeling in metres upon metres of red cord that had carried across the tiles, up the elevator shaft and into Junk-N-Stuff, they were content to get on with it. After all, no one could see or would pay attention to a little weirdo sitting on his lonesome.

"Okay, Bill, let's make this fast. You kinda caught me in the middle of a story and I got a lot of people who wanna hear the end, including my incredibly hot fiancée," Ray started as he meant to go on - sharp, snappy and to the point. He hadn't let the story idea go, not yet anyway, and neither did he love the idea of talking to this dick when he could be enjoying the company of his lover without the need to act professionally.

"I thought that was the end," Henry frowned, wondering how his tale could still be going when it was already so long and complex and...odd. Far-fetched is how he'd described it, certainly not one of his boss' best stories and honestly, he knew that even (y/n) had struggled to pay attention when he got onto the bit about his aunt. Where did that leave him on the boredom spectrum?

"No! Why would you think that's the end?"
"Probably because you were talking for ages, doo—" the woman tried to comfort him quietly as he gave Henry a semi-betrayed look as if he couldn't believe that he'd just said that. Okay, she knew that it wasn't over but she understood why the boy was reluctant to hear anymore.

She loved Ray, more than anything and she'd pull the stars from the sky if he asked her to, but dear god in heaven, she didn't want to hear any more about his weird cousin whom she'd been introduced to at a family wedding. The guy had suspiciously clammy hands when she went to exchange a handshake but was goofy just like Ray, so it was no wonder that they were like two peas in a pod whoever they were together.

"I just have a question..." Bill piped up, not wanting to interrupt the little domestic they had going on here because it wasn't his place to come between hero and sidekick, man and lover, but he had called for a reason. It would be nice if he got to share that reason.

"What?!"
"If a scientist—not me, but a totally different scientist—were to open an inter-dimensional portal..." he started, his tone cautious as if he could predict their rightly outraged reactions. It was obvious that he was referring to himself, no other scientist would be so reckless, and the fact that he hadn't learnt his lesson from last time got their blood boiling, especially (y/n)'s, given her keen interest in the area. Bad things happen when people stick their noses where they don't belong, why didn't he understand that?

"Aw, come on, Bill! What is wrong with you?! Why?!" Ray growled as Henry and (y/n) pinched their eyes and noses in agitation. The poor computer chair took the brunt of his anger as he pulled and pushed it, back and forth, until it started creaking and then, he finally let go to snarl at the idiotic CEO. This was his life and sometimes, he loved it, but other times, he hated it; someone made a mess, he cleaned it up—all well and good—but then, not five minutes later, it was back to being ruined.

"...And a scary-looking knight with a face tattoo jumped out and punched the scientist right in the face, and then, the scary-looking knight ran off into Swellview..." Evil carried on, sounding more like he was confessing to a massive fuck-up than asking the heroes' advice. Now that they looked closer, they could see that the entirety of his right eye was bruised quite badly, nasty violet patches swelling up to make tender skin painful. Scary-looking knight—what had he done now?

"What's your question, Bill? Enough messing around..." (y/n) asked tightly, trying to keep her calm as he danced around spilling the beans. Ray's hand slipped into hers and squeezed, the gesture small yet reassuring enough to cause her to take a deep breath and let go of the emotions bottled up inside of her.

"Would that scientist be in trouble?"

"Yes!"
"No shit, Sherlock. Of course, you would be!" The sidekicks replied immediately, seeing through his bullshit despite his rubbish attempts to make his question hypothetical and light. His attempts to reflect the blame on himself were poor; they knew that he'd done something, it was obvious, just like it had been obvious on Halloween that his company was evil because it was literally in their job name and description.

"Yes, just like you were in trouble the last time you opened an inter-dimensional portal!" Ray scolded him, a stern finger pointing at the monitor to try and make the man feel bad, but for some reason, he didn't look intimidated by the hero. Maybe it was because they were separated by a virtual barrier and he wasn't in danger of getting beaten up this time, or maybe it was because he didn't fear any repercussions at all.

"Actually, I didn't get in trouble. You three just walked away, covered in goo, Captain Man flirted with Miss Danger, and left me alone, unpunished and free to open up as many portals as I want," the scientist replied nonchalantly and for once, the trio didn't have a smart answer.

Right... After the whole Piper, monster, kidnapping thing, they'd just sort of gone home straight away and left Bill to continue his tricks—having forgotten to punish him for what he'd done because they were tired, fed up and in need of a good shower.

Plus, once Captain Man started flirting with Miss Danger and vice versa, it was hard to get them to focus on anything else anyway, particularly when Henry was distracted and throwing up at their mushy words and kisses.

"He's right, we did that," Henry whispered to the adults, who had gone quiet when they thought about the past and realised that he was right. Their bad.

"Yeah, well, we flirt all of the time! It doesn't mean that he should be opening portals willy-nilly! Come on, Evil, man up, take responsibility!"

"Yeah! Dang it, Bill, why do you keep opening inter-dimensional doors?" Ray agreed with his sweet girl, thinking that whilst it had been their duty to bring him to justice, and fair enough, they'd slipped up on that one, the man still should've taken responsibility to not let another disaster happen. Surely, he should've learnt his lesson after the first incident, y'know, shut the program down and locked the technology away forever.

"It's just so much fun!" Or not. Turns out, Bill Evil was a bigger kid than he was and didn't care what happened to the world as long as he got to play god with the fabric of time and reality.

"You never know who's gonna jump out!"

"Well, starting now, you're not allowed you're not allowed to open any more portals!" Kid Danger told him firmly like he was laying down the law for an unruly child.

"Yeah!"

"What if it's my birthday?" Bill pouted, accepting the general rule, but he also wanted to see if he could push his luck just a little bit. Captain Man was a pushover with Miss Danger, maybe he could tweak the same nerve, not that he was anything like the well-loved heroine.

"Well, I mean, if it's your birthday—"

"No, doofus, no! No more portals, no more messing with stuff that doesn't concern him! Nothing!" (y/n) quickly interrupted her fiancé as he began to debate whether Bill could have birthday privileges, which couldn't be tolerated.

"Yeah! No more portals, Bill!" That was more like it.

"Fiiine," Bill Evil rolled his eyes at their refusal to budge and ended the call a disappointed and morose man. Well, that told him, no more causing unnecessary problems, Captain Man already had enough to deal with and perhaps, next time he wouldn't be around to save the day when an alien what tearing its way through the factory. But, all in all, that went well and the trio turned away from the screen feeling relaxed and good about what they'd just achieved.

"Pfft—that guy..."

"Pffft, yeah...let's go," Henry jerked his head from his boss to the tubes. He hadn't missed the memo in Evil's story about the scary-looking knight, which he had no doubt was the asshole who'd stormed into Junk-N-Stuff earlier, so he figured that they were about to head out to catch the guy and find out why he was terrorising the city. But to his shock—well, not shock, not at this point—Ray wasn't interested, he was too busy trying to touch the back of (y/n)'s throat with his tongue. Jeez, man, they'd been off the video call for, like, three seconds.

"Hmmm? To where?" The hero pulled away from his sweet girl, who pouted at losing contact with his lips so soon. His tongue in her throat was a bit extreme and an overstatement, she wished that they'd had enough time and privacy to go that far but as always, there was an interruption and because they'd been so preoccupied, neither recalled what Bill had said, just the taste of honey clashing with bubblegum.

To stop the scary-looking knight guy, who Jasper and (y/n) just sent to Burger Castle."

"Oh, right. Him," (y/n) didn't need telling twice, getting her head back in the game as soon as Henry looked at her with raised eyebrows and said her name.

"What scary-looking knight guy?" He asked, head titled and arms holding her tight to his chest as he looked between sidekicks. Who were they on about?

"What? The—the face tattoo? That just came into Junk-N-Stuff?" Henry said, not believing that his boss couldn't remember the events of the past hour.

"Was this today?"

"He interrupted your story...and said he'd consider making (y/n) his queen for her loyalty." Dirty tactics were never Henry's favourite method of getting a rise out of his boss, but he felt that on this occasion, they were necessary.

"Oh, that guy! I hate that guy!" Ray's hissed instantly, his arms tensing into his biceps that were rock-solid and his fists were clenched, ready to punch the guy like he was in front of his face.

"Let's go punch his interrupting, fiancée-stealing face right off his face!"

"Yeah, love the energy, doofus, but let's take it down a notch. I wasn't going to accept his offer anyway!" She winced at the snarl lodged in his throat; it was lovely that he was protective, it made her feel safe and warm on the inside when he took care of her and made sure she had everything she wanted, of which violence wasn't present.

Without hesitation, and even if she was offered the world and all its riches, she'd decline his proposal and the knight would never win her hand. It was already promised to someone else; a grumpy, childlike idiot, whose emotions had a habit of running away from him.

"You wouldn't?" Ray murmured questioningly as she and Henry bounced up to the tube pads where he stood, him having crossed the room in record time thanks to his angry stomping. A quick slap of Henry's belt and the tubes fell around them as he didn't want to waste any time when that psycho could be burning the Burger Castle to the ground, and for a brief moment, the world was silent before the rush.

"I mean, he did offer you the chance to be a real-life queen...y'know, jewels, treasure, castles. You'd be marrying a king, sweetheart."

"Raymond, I know you think that what makes a king is gold, a palace and diamond rings, but I don't want any of that. I just want you. Only you," (y/n) whispered to him as her arms slid around his neck and they pressed against each other as the suction pulled them up and out of the building.

She knew he had some ever-lasting doubts floating around in that silly, old head of his but the truth of the matter was that all the kings in the world couldn't give her what she'd been looking for all these years. She wasn't one for people who tried to rule others, after landing with someone like that she'd played her cards close to her foolproof vest, only to find true love with a joker — her beloved doofus.

~The Burger Castle~

This place hadn't changed.

(y/n) had fond memories of Burger Castles, not specifically that one, but the one in her hometown.

Every kid had their birthday party at the fake castles at least once during their childhood; they got to be the king or queen and sit at the head of the table with all of their friends as they ate their food and played with the little free plastic toys that broke two seconds later.

Then, when everything was coming to a close, they got a crown and everyone sang happy birthday to their "ruler" as a bored employee brought out the cheapest, shittiest sheet cake in the world. Ah, good times.

But, this time, there was no cake. No laughter. No room for fun as the three heroes stepped out of the Man Van, much to the awe of the odd passerby on the street, and marched towards the restaurant with taut frowns on their faces. They meant business and that meant using their angry faces, especially when they approached the automatic doors and looked through the glass and saw their culprit borderline threatening the poor people trying to eat.

Hell, even Piper and her dad were in there, although the former looked rather embarrassed to be out with a man who still looked for the crappy toys in the kid's meals. But they were shaking after the knight unsheathed his sword and started brandishing it about the place, demanding that they all kneel before him like the puny peasants they were.

"Okay, tin man, you're coming with us," Captain Man announced in a deep growl as he strode through the door to the thankful applause of the crowd, ignoring how his tummy rumbled when met with the heavenly scent of fried food. No, focus, he had to look tough, he had his sidekicks with him, walking like they had potatoes under their arms, acting like him as they faced the knight. Sure, he had a sword, but they had lasers. Who was gonna win?

"Thanks. Thanks, everybody," he nodded to the wide-eyed citizens, who seemed shocked at their sudden appearance, but the three assumed that it was because they were surprised that they'd swooped in so promptly to save the day.

"I didn't know you guys were part of the show!" Piper exclaimed, standing up from the table she'd plonked at after getting fed up with her humiliating excuse for a father. Her brother and the adults accompanying him gave her a few funny looks, wondering what she was going on about because they weren't there for anyone's entertainment and neither was the psycho with the razor-sharp weapon.

"I'm sorry, let's start again. What show?" (y/n) smiled at her kindly since in her civilian life, she got on with the girl so well. But as she looked from them to the knight, there wasn't a trace of fear on her face, rather, she seemed in wonder about what was going to happen next, something she may have inherited from her dad.

"Piper, be quiet! Let them say their lines," Mr Hart scolded his daughter, childlike excitement in his eyes as he watched the tension rise between the competing sides. Like his daughter, he thought that this was just some medieval-meets-modern-era performance, good vs evil, maybe even a promo for the heroes so they could appeal to the public. After all, there was a knight at a Burger castle, how on-brand could you get?

"Who dares challenge King Ryder?" The knight asked in a booming voice that entertained the crowd to no end.

He looked at the heroes—or intruders—with fury ripped across his harsh features and he clearly didn't understand that a king was made by the opinion of his subjects—not that any Swellviewian was his subject.

"Seriously, what is going on here?" Henry asked (y/n) and Ray quietly, the woman giving him a shrug since she was none the wiser and just as confused as him. However, her doofus didn't look perplexed, instead, all of the fighting talk seemed to excite him and he looked ready to step up to the plate because Ray Manchester could never ignore a challenge, not one that felt like the WWE moment he'd been dreaming of all of his life. And it would give him the chance to superman-punch and clothesline the guy who disrespected him and hit on his girl. Win-win.

"I'll tell you what's going on here, Kid Danger..."

"Oh, dear god..." (y/n) rubbed her temples, massaging away in advance the migraine she knew she was going to have by the end of this as she watched her doofus strut around the room like a peacock ready to brawl. Two egos, locking heads, what could go wrong?

"This guy's comin' onto our turf, trying to take on the undefeated champions of Swellview!" Ray exclaimed, his voice blending into a stereotypical wrestler's tone, and "Ryker" looked around in confusion when the crowd applauded the puny man. Baffled, he looked at their pleased expressions and wondered why they were excited by the man, who was muscular but still smaller than him, and why he felt the need to climb onto a chair.

"Actually, we got defeated last month? Remember, doof? The kid lost his powers?" (y/n) contradicted him, unable to hold her tongue since it was the truth.

"You're goin' down, brother!" Ray declared, patting her hand a few times before she dropped it in defeat. Nothing she said would tempt him away unless she wore a see-through shirt and nothing else, so if he wanted a fight, she'd stand back until he needed back up. It could be fun, to watch him in action and see the way his body used its power so carefully and with such accuracy. Yeah, fun...The crowd certainly thought so.

"I will destroy you!" Ryker bit back, looking down his nose at the hero, which drew many boos from the crowd. Okay, scratch what (y/n) previously thought, she'd take him herself if she had to, this guy was too cocky. Ray didn't seem phased, though, he was loving the fight-talk, sticking his thumbs downwards to taunt his opponent as his people backed him up. Yeah, that's right, his people.

The knight responded in turn and he must've been from out of town because had he been aware that Captain Man was indestructible, y'know, the thing that everyone knew because that was his power, he probably wouldn't have been so calm. Arrogance was thick in the air as Ryker sliced his sword through the air like a madman in danger of taking someone's eye out or cutting a limb off, but it wasn't particularly scary, more like all bark and no bite. A show that impressed the spectators but bored the heroes who didn't flinch at theatrics.

"Yawn."
"Okay, bored now," Henry and (y/n) muttered and rather than engaging with the man and risk losing a few fingers or a head, they simply whipped the laser controllers from their belts and fired two green lasers into his face since it was the only patch of skin not covered by iron. He might have thought he was a tough guy, acting all big with his mean words, weapon and affinity for domination, but like any other man, he stumbled back and clutched his nose in pain as the laser stung just enough to make him drop the steel and teach him a lesson.

If that pleased the crowd then they'd love part two; in perfect synch with his sidekicks, Ray kicked out at the knight, striking him in the chest so he hit the ground like a sack of spuds with a clanging screech. The following applause was breathtaking and the trio were happy to soak it up as the nutter stayed down, although Ray was still weary for his next move and ensured that his precious girl and ward stayed behind him as he approached to place his heavy boot on the metal chest piece. The legendary alpha had retained his throne and the loyalty of his followers.

"M'lord!... Oh, and m'lady!" Mr Hart said rather embarrassingly as he appeared in front of the heroic couple when Ray took up (y/n)'s hand to press a rather sweet kiss to her knuckles, and they blushed awkwardly when he dropped to his knee in a very respectful but unnecessary courtesy. The man was just trying to bring his lover into his victory because if he fought for anyone, it was for her, there was no need to express any devotion to him, hers was enough. And (y/n) didn't agree with towering above someone else, it made her feel...icky.

"I am so sorry about him," Piper interjected shakily, swooping in quickly to drag her father away when she spotted the slightest hint of discomfort on her idols' faces. Talk about an embarrassment; she'd seen him pull some stunts in her lifetime but nothing felt this mortifying, she couldn't believe that he'd done that when Captain Man was having a moment with Miss Danger. Now, all the papers would be talking about was how some weirdo, identified as Jake Hart, was the biggest loser about, not their cute interaction, so now, the poor girl just felt awful.

"Oh, it's fine, no worries. I know what it's like to care for a man-child," (y/n) told the tween kindly, giving her the warmest smile she could before turning to Ray with her most teasing. He was looking at her with raised eyebrows, a faux-offended expression on his face as if he'd taken her joking to heart. A giggle left her lips, finding herself funny more than him and it broke through his annoyed façade, leaving Ray powerless to stop his next actions.

His head dipped and their lips pressed together as the world disappeared around them until nothing but the kiss existed. The crowd cooed, Henry shuffled awkwardly on his feet to mask how he too was silently shipping them and everyone agreed on one thing.

The papers would have something to write about and the photo snapped of them as they smiled and smooched would without a doubt make the front page.

~

There was one thing to say about this Ryker guy; he was a damn difficult man to haul onto a chair.

The Burger Castle goers had calmed down eventually and returned to their tables and food to gossip about how Captain Man seemed to follow Miss Danger around like a lovesick puppy, how Miss Danger was the luckiest girl in the world, and how Kid Danger was so adorably awkward around the two when they teased him for his aversion to PDA. Well, some of them gossiped, and some man-children argued about who had the best toys in the toy box, which was especially difficult for their children trying to maintain control.

With no eyes on them, the heroes were left to sort the situation out without hindrance; the staff didn't care, they were just teenagers who were longing to sneak five minutes of their PearPhones anyway. So since the knight was still dopey from the effects of the laser, Ray, (y/n) and Henry wasted no time in stripping him of his protective armour, starting with the helmet and then working on removing the shoulder plates and chest piece so he wasn't so invincible.

Now, it would be easier for them to take him down should he get rowdy again but interestingly, he seemed placid now, non-threatening, kinda like he knew he'd been placed on the naughty step and needed to think about what he'd done.

"Get up, you weirdo. Let's go, come on. Easy."

"Haul ass, knight-man."

"There you go..." The heroes' pulled Ryker to his feet after removing the last of his armour, tossing the shin plates to the side as he staggered due to the laser's effects. He was just a man now, no metal and no threat, with just his leather under-armour left and that wouldn't protect him that much.

Still, regardless of his weaker state, they were wary of him, well aware that he was still a large, powerful man with the stature and muscle to hurt them or someone else should he want to. Never trust a bad guy, they'd learnt that the hard way, but strangely, he was so...polite now.

"Thank you for helping me—You fools!" Or not. After taking a few steps, the knight spun around and bared his teeth at them as he raised his open palm at them, his hand high-fiving the air whilst Ray instinctively put an arm in front of (y/n), ready to shield her from danger should he need to, but the danger never came. Ryker screwed his face up with the effort of whatever his hand was supposed to do, but he did nothing more than confuse the three, who wondered what the hell he was doing.

"Is something supposed to happen?" (y/n) asked in a mocking tone that showed no trace of fear. He'd expected something awful to happen but had fallen at the last hurdle so he was as harmless as ever, lacking both his offence and defence. It was rather amusing since he'd tried to trick them, playing dead only to attack again and upon realising he was powerless, the knight deflated in defeat, downhearted at being a laughingstock in front of the lady.

"Yes, fair maiden. Usually, smoke comes out of my hand and then, you bear the Mark of Ryker and I can control your mind!" He replied, looking genuinely frustrated at his lack of power, which was probably used to having. Henry turned to Ray, who seemed a tad grumpier at the man's mention of (y/n) as a fair maiden because yes, she was fair, the fairest of them all, but he didn't like how he seemed to notice that.

"Is he controlling your mind, dude?"

"Nah, I'm thinkin' about cheese fries...and Miss Danger," he replied truthfully, looking wistfully into the distance as he daydreamed about food and his sweet girl. Or, better still, sitting in the Man Cave with his sweet girl as they watched a crappy movie and fed each other fried potatoes loaded with mozzarella. Yeah, that sounded nice.

"Now, I'm thinkin' about cheese fries...but not Miss Danger," Henry replied, liking the sound of getting a small snack after they were done here. The only thing he didn't imagine was (y/n) in any capacity similar to what his boss was thinking of. That was just...ew.

"Whoa! I'm controlling your mind!"
"Whaaaat?"
"You two are so weird..." (y/n) rolled her mind as they bantered back and forth about nothing special at all. It was kinda cute, though, the rapport that they had and breaking the tension was nice after being so serious - seriousness didn't come naturally to Ray, not at all.

"The cheese fries in your mind are now covered in chilli!"
"Now, they are!"

"You mock me..." Ryker stated, a melancholy tone in his voice as he recognised that they were taking the piss. Where he came from, no man, woman or boy dared to make fun of him, so it was a blow to see them having fun when they should've been bowing at his feet and begging for mercy. God, he was up his own butt...

"Yeah, we definitely mock you," (y/n) nodded, shrugging nonchalantly since he seemed to get so touchy about people disrespecting him. She'd met plenty of assholes in her time and he was one of them, so she wasn't going to be intimidated because it was clear that too many people had been frightened and it had inflated his ego until he deemed himself a god amongst men. However, her bluntness was not welcome and his fury returned when she dared to speak so freely in his presence.

"Then, taste my steel, wench!" The knight shouted and plucked his sword from the ground in preparation for a second bout against the heroes. But, as before, the lasers were mightier than the sword and within a blink of an eye, Henry and Ray had pulled their controllers from their belts again and blasted him in the face for raising the weapon against Miss Danger when she'd done nothing wrong.

A cry left his mouth as the sting bloomed across his eyes and nose, the sword clattering to the floor when his knees crumpled under the strain. Ray's eyes worriedly scanned (y/n)'s face, looking for any sign that she was scared or upset from the failed attack and he let a breath go that he didn't know he was holding.

"He said taste my steel, doofus. He's a bigger doofus than you!" The heroine giggled, melting his worry since she wasn't threatened at all, more like amused that he thought she'd cower in fear when facing a sword. It was funny; she was standing next to the biggest lump of power and punches she'd ever met and that lump would lay down his life to keep her safe—Ray had never given her a reason to fear for her life and Ryker hadn't changed that one bit.

But, even though she was okay and laughing, a kiss placed between her eyebrows, he was still angry, furious even, because no one, not future kings or the lowest man in the land, got to terrify her.

"Hey, what's your dill, pickle? Why're you so mad?" Ray growled with a pointed stare.

"You'd be mad too if someone stole your kingdom," Ryker replied with a sadness in his eyes that disarmed the heroes, who weren't expecting an answer like that. They were still cautious, highly aware that he'd tricked them before and could do it again just as easily, but they still showed a sliver of concern. Losing an entire kingdom sounded so tragic, like something out of a fantasy film where the burning down of the village is the hero's character-defining moment. It sounded like he'd lost everything and the trio couldn't help but feel a tad sorry for him.

"Huh?"
"How do you lose an entire kingdom?"
"What's up, big dog?"

"I am the rightful ruler of Astoria. But my throne was taken away from me," the knight explained, eyes downcast and staring solemnly at the floor. Well, that tugged at their heartstrings; if it was his right to rule, then it must've been hard to watch the fair land, "Astoria", be lost. Maybe they'd judged him too quickly, maybe his scary look was just that—a look—and he was just a stranded soul in an unfamiliar place.

"Aw, buddy..."
"That's actually pretty sad..."
"That's not goooood." They gave him some very sympathetic looks and Ray pushed away his old anger so he could place a comforting hand on the man's shoulder since he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He'd hate it if he lost his home, followers and lover, he wouldn't know what to do, so as a fellow leader, he kind of empathised with what the man was going through.

"I almost got it back, but I was defeated by a squad of knights. And a wizard banished me from my realm, and suddenly, I was, well, here..." he went on, illustrating a picture and narrative in their heads that were almost heartbreaking. Who were these asshole knights who'd hurt such a...gentle man? He wasn't so bad now that he'd calmed down and although (y/n) was still a bit skittish, which was understandable given that he was, like, double her size, the boys connected with him.

"Ah, I get it. He's not a bad guy, he's just scared."
"Yeah, he's just a lost lil' puppy from another dimension...right, precious girl?" Ray nudged his fiancée as he and the kid softened their looks, but (y/n) was still unsure. Puppy wasn't the term she'd used; Ray was a puppy, adorable and goofy, clumsy and soft but this guy, looked mean and vicious, tough and bitey.

"Yeah...with a very sharp sword, scary face tattoos and a Jackanory story that has me crying my eyes out," she whispered, angling her body so half of it was hidden behind Ray. Could that be classed as cowering? Perhaps. She didn't like to look so weak, not against her possible enemies but she felt nervous and naturally when feeling nervous, she got mouthy to ward off predators.

"You are right to fear me, fair maiden. I am a stranger in your land, but I swear, I mean you nor your companions no harm," Ryker bowed his head and curled his fist to her chest in a respectful gesture and made her slouch slightly, but there was still the feeling that she was the lamb looking at a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Are we supposed to take your word for that? You tried to cut my head off."

"And I apologise most deeply, to you and the one who came to your defence so valiantly. He must be very fond of you," he also bowed his head towards Ray, who practically purred at the respect he was being shown, going from the snarling alpha to a pacified leader in one sentence since his target was now toeing the line perfectly, acknowledging their connection and keeping his distance. Damn right, he was fond of her, more than that.

"Well, pal, she is my beautiful fiancée," Ray replied, looked at the woman dreamily and slung his arm around her shoulders, causing (y/n) to blush since they were still in public. The contact was heavenly and being able to smell his cologne made her feel safe, especially since the display showed the knight who he'd be messing with if he tried something—the prancing hero in his red and blue spandex.

"She is your betrothed? Then you, sir, are a lucky man indeed," it was almost as if Ryker knew every method for stroking his ego, pandering to Ray's every love; being admired for his prowess and being able to bask in the knowledge that he had the most gorgeous woman in the world as his future wife. There was no doubt in his mind now that this knight was a stand-up guy and he needed to get back to his kingdom so he could reclaim his throne, something they could certainly help him with. It was the least they could do.

"We'll get you home, little fella," he smiled and put his arm around his shoulders so they could escort him to the Man Van. Henry looked at (y/n), (y/n) looked at Henry and neither knew why his tune had changed so dramatically but the woman went along with it when the kid gave her a reassuring smile. She had nerve flare-ups sometimes, they came and went with the full moon or something, so she wrote off the uneasiness in her stomach as inter-dimensional waves or particles or something like that. It would be fine, right?

"I'm bigger than you are."
"Sure you are, little buddy!" Ray laughed at the man's analysis, not realising that he was telling the truth. Ryker stood a couple of inches above Ray and whilst the hero could probably take him in a fight, there was no getting away from the fact that on this rare occasion, he wasn't the giant in the room. Well, he still had the biggest head.

"You know...in a way, I'm kinda the king in this town and I suppose that kinda makes Miss Danger my queen..."
"Oh, god..." Henry groaned when the cringiest sentence he'd ever heard came from his boss's lips. Bigheaded, much?
No, he was not the king, he was just the guy who donated all of his time to save the city, he did not rule the place, no matter how much he liked to think that. But in one respect, he was right about something; (y/n) was his queen and he was the lowly joker, basking in her majesty.

~The Man Cave~

It was difficult explaining to a man from an ancient world was technology was. The most advanced kit he knew was a spell book and catapults, so seeing him freak out in the Man Van was an odd experience until they realised that the "metal horse" was frightening him. Of course, they'd never thought about it like that but eventually, he sat comfortably, listening to Ray bragging about their many adventures, which meant they had a plethora of weapons that he could borrow in his bid to regain the throne - it was no biggie, an honour, in fact.

Maybe he'd even reward them for their service once he was crowned king.

"Help meeeeeeeee!" Ryker screamed as he went down a tube, which was a bit embarrassing for him since he was supposed to be this big, strong, emotionally unmovable knight. But the weightless feeling made his tummy flutter like it always did on the first trip and he squeezed his eyes shut, prayed for it to be over and cursed the couple in the next tube who said it would be fun. Filthy liars.

"Hey, man, it's just the tubes."
"Yeah, you don't have to be so scared, they're very safe," Ray and (y/n) comforted him, quickly untangling themselves from each other's arms since he was having a mini breakdown. Whilst they understood why he was scared, it was necessary since Schwoz maintained the tubes like nothing else and if he couldn't handle them, he wasn't going to find his bravery against these enemy knights. Where was his courage?

"I wasn't scared! That was, um...brave screaming," the knight lied, trying to save face as the brave superheroes mollycoddled him. Yeah, because he looked so brave when he was near tears refusing to step into the tube opening and here came Henry, ready to pull that lie apart.

"Dude, you were so scared! I could hear you screaming the whole way down!" The boy laughed, teasing the man for how he'd betrayed his tough-guy persona so utterly. He could lie all he wanted, it was plain that he was shitting himself down and there was no shame in that; it happened to everyone when they first experienced the zero-gravity effect, although, the resident couple were certain that they'd never seen anyone react like that before.

"That was brave screaming!"
"Yeah, I also scream help me when I'm being brave..." Henry rolled his eyes and brushed off the pathetic excuse, shaking his head at the banter. He didn't mean it, it was just some harmful teasing, but either way, Ryker wasn't in the Man Cave to have fun. Get the weapons, get home, get the throne, that was his plan, among friends with these people in court jester's clothes were not.

"I would like to go home now and fight for my throne!"

"Yeah, sure, braveheart, where are we on that, Schwoz?" (y/n) was best pleased with his curt tone but turned to the genius who'd been working away like a busy little bee for the past hour, trying to locate an inter-dimensional chatter on this Astoria place that Ryker was from.

As per Ray's instructions, Charlotte, Jasper and he had gone to Evil Science Corp to confiscate the machine that Bill Evil and his team used to play with portals, so he was using that technology to listen between worlds...freaky. The hat and headphones helmet he'd created was weird but so far, he'd been able to find a few signals, just not the ones he was looking for.

"I'm still working on it," he replied, flicking switches and adjusting his knobs so the search could continue. Now, Schwoz was a wonderful man, very kind, very gentle, very helpful and his family loved him, but none of them could deny that he was weird—both in looks and personality. So, it was no surprise that when the knight took notice of him, he thought he was a creature from his world - an odd, little, scurrying, pitiful slave with a piggy face and smooth head.

"Oh...nice troll slave. How much do you want for him?"
"What?! I'm not a troll!" Schwoz protested, taking great offence that someone would deem him a slimy, grunting, tucked animal that lived under bridges or scratched a living slaving in a grubby kitchen. He was a person, he deserved some respect, which Ray sometimes forgot and took advantage of his skills.

"Quiet down, troll!"
"Ra—Captain Man! Naughty!" (y/n) thumped her lover's shoulder lightly for being so mean to a key member of their team and the hero gave her a slight pout and a small yet genuinely remorseful look as she admonished him. But as he thought about his actions, a brilliant idea came to mind. "Hey, hey, hey!"

"What, what, what?!"
"Let's give this dude some of our sweet weapons to take home with him so he can get his kingdom back!" Ray suggested, pulling his sidekicks close so they could huddle up and whisper, but as ever, Ray's whispering was more like shouting and Ryker perked up when he heard everything.

For Ray, it made sense; Schwoz was forever inventing and discarding older prototypes of blasters and bombs in the Man Cave, so they had plenty to spare and this guy needed some help. Look at his little face, he was giving them puppy-dog eyes and it felt cruel to send him off into the unknown to fend for himself.

"I love that idea and I would like to do that right now," Henry stated seriously, agreeing with everything his boss said because he viewed the knight in the same way - a lost soul in need of guidance onto the right path again.

"I don't know, guys, is this really a good idea? I mean, some of the weapons we have are kinda dangerous and we hardly know this guy," (y/n) argued uneasily, not wanting to be mean or a stick in the mud, but rationality won with her as always.

A part of her wanted to give Ryker the benefit of the doubt and admit that she'd made a judgement of his character but also, there was a tugging on her heart, one that said that giving him proton blasters, molecular shifters or flamethrowers was foolish. This wasn't the first time she and Ray had butted heads on a problem, one thinking against the other but they always worked it out, so this time, she'd trust his judgment...and pray it wasn't misplaced.

"You have weapons here?" Ryker questioned and stepped in, butting in before the couple could debate the suggestion.

"So many weapons!"
"Yeah."
"Maybe..." the heroes replied, ranging from enthusiastic to a little reluctant to divulge what they kept in storage. Henry was excited, Ray was proud and (y/n), well, she was trying to stay on the fence. That way, she could see what was growing in both gardens.

"What, like swords and axes?" He asked, assuming that they'd have weapons like he was used to, basics that cut and chopped rather than blasted and burnt. That drew a few smiles because swords and the like were so five centuries ago, practically Neanderthal to the modern fighter and it was cute how he thought combat was still so brutish.

"Yeah, yeah, swords!"
"Yeah, we got axes!" Ray and Henry laughed, causing (y/n) to roll her eyes as Ryker gave them a confused look. He didn't know what was so funny but Ray was about to wipe that expression clean off and replace it with wonder. Curling an arm around his shoulders, he turned the man towards the tube pads and the rooms that lay beyond them, where they kept some of the older weapons that were no longer regularly used.

"Hey, uh, let me tell you called a thermonuclear hand cannon. And after that, I'm gonna tell you a hilarious story about my cousin, a kangaroo..."

"Doofus, don't touch or give away anything before I look at it! Are you even listening to me?" And off they went. Ray was determined to find a friend in the knight, and so was Henry, whilst he was more interested in this fancy cannon thing they spoke of. That's what worried (y/n), did she need to explain how dangerous they were? Sure, Schwoz had built better things since but that didn't make it deadly, so she stormed after the giggling pack as they stumbled away, leaving the genius to scan the multiverse for an answer that came sooner than expected.

"I found it! I found someone saying Astoria!" Schwoz cried in delight as his boomerang-shaped scanner picked up a frequency of voices. Astoria, Astoria, Astoria...they kept repeating over and over, and he knew that he'd discovered what he was looking for. Sadly, it was a massive shame that there was no one around to pat him on the back for it. "I found someone saying Astori—ahhhh, I'm talking to myself!"

He sighed and continued listening to the distorted voices. A boy and a girl he was sure, they sounded quite nice, not at all evil like he'd been predicting and he figured that he'd just have to report his findings to his boss or (y/n) once the scary man was kitted out with some hand-me-downs.

But, as he stood there, minding his own business, reality seemed to bend and before his very eyes, a blazing portal opened in front of him, revealing two people whose voices were the ones he'd been hearing through the signal. They were in a halo of swirling amber and electric pink, seemingly lost in their conversation until the door closed on their old world and left them in the new one—the Man Cave to be exact.

"Stromboli, Stromboli, strombo—oh my god, where are we?" A tall, blond, good-looking boy screamed as Schwoz turned the machine off, deeming its purpose fulfilled now that he'd found someone to take their guest home. They were an odd-looking pair, that was for certain, although he could say much about that. The boy was wearing what looked like spares from Robin Hood's wardrobe and was accompanied by a pretty, young girl with bouncy curls and a Middle Ages-themed blouse. She had a sword on her hip and Schwoz knew that he'd have to be delicate with the situation, after all, they were bound to be like cornered animals now that he'd pulled them from Astoria.

"Welcome to the Man Cave!" He greeted them warmly, throwing his arms out to show that he carried no weapons and was trying to be non-threatening but of course, most heads-of-house are normally easy on the eye. Schwoz's funny looks did him no favours as the unknown teens took him in with shock in their eyes and as Ryker had, they didn't see that he was a human like them, more like a stubby, mythical slave that was a spawn of evil.

"Oh, it's an evil troll!" The boy exclaimed, looking like he was ready for a fight in his leather armour and fighting stance, no matter how innocent and placid the genius tried to appear.

"I am Schwoz..."
"It's an evil troll named Schwoz!" The girl cried, clearly panicking as Schwoz shuffled closer and her fingers twitched to draw her sword. Anything to save herself and her friend from his filthy, clawed clutches.

"Okay, why don't you just relax and let me explain how—oh, good, you have weapons!" The small man gulped when they took their swords by the ears and yanked them from their sheaths, which meant that quickly, he was facing down two very pointy ends. His heart was hammering in his ears as they charged forward, causing him to back up quickly to avoid being skewered since any time he tried to reason with them led to him taking another step back. And another. And another until he couldn't go any further and found his back pressed to the secret door in between the auto-snacker and supercomputer.

"Let us out of this cave!"
"Why did you bring us here?!"
"You best send us home right now!" They snapped at him and Schwoz found himself losing his grip on his nerve as the metal wavered under his nose. He couldn't answer them all at once but he figured that even if he could, they'd probably cut out his tongue for some misunderstanding because trying to talk with them was futile. They thought he was evil and they were the ones with razor-sharp, folded steel, it was best not to provoke them.

"This is my personal space!" He hissed back, unable to control himself any longer because there was no escape for him. He wanted them to back off or at least drop the swords and for a moment, he thought he'd gotten through to them as the boy's frown cracked, only for him to say something ridiculous.

"Wait! I'm pretty sure that if you tickle trolls, they puke gold," he smirked at the girl, whose eyes lit up at the thought of getting rich quick. Her friend was a bit far-fetched at times, but the troll was right there and it couldn't hurt to try, so she was all up for it, whether the creature agreed or not.

"No, we don't—I mean, no, they don't!" Schwoz tried to brush over his slip of the tongue, wanting to disassociate himself from any connotations of being a troll because it was so damn demeaning. And ridiculous. Very ridiculous, not that the mischievous teens seemed to care; they were willing to try anything once.

"I'll grab him."
"I'll get the treasure. I am great at tickling!" Partners in crime was how Schwoz would describe them and whilst they were smirking at each other, he saw his chance and made a break for it. He didn't like tickling at the best of times, he certainly didn't want it done by two teen strangers with that cunning twinkle in their eyes. Their swords were abandoned to the tiles as they chased after him and predictably, their agility and speed far outshone his, meaning he was their prisoner, not a second later, trapped in the girl's arms as the boy got to dancing his fingers along his ribs.

His laughs filled the room as Ray sauntered back into the main room with (y/n) hot on his heels, totally unaware of what had been going down whilst they and Henry had been enjoying a little weapon fashion show with their new friend—well, his and Henry's friend. It had been great; he now had ample gear to take back his kingdom, including blasters, the cannon, grenades, electrocuting prods, the works and he looked very happy with himself, so it was time to send the knight on his merry way.

"Don't go there, dude. Don't go there!"
"Anyway, my sweet girl designed these and they're sick! You pull the pin, you throw it at your enemy...boom!" Ray explained to Ryker with a huge smile on his face, failing to see what was happening to Schwoz since they were having a great conversation about how a problem could be solved with no more than a classic grenade. One that (y/n) thought up when she was still but an employee with a lot of long, lonely nights and a curious mind. That meant Ray was very fond of them and not shy to show them off to the knight, who was now armed to the teeth with guns strapped to his back and bombs pinned to his chest, all courtesy of Captain Man and Co.

"Yes, doofus, they're great but be careful how you use them. I can't tell you how many walls we've had to hose down because of splattered—what the actual fuck?!" The woman bashfully advised the man, flustered by the praise but also concerned that a grenade used in the wrong place could leave an unfortunate mess. And Ryker seemed to be taking her worries on board, listening carefully until she just so happened to look across the room after hearing a peculiar noise, only to see Schwoz being attacked by two strangers that he knew very well indeed.

"Hey!"
"Whoa!"
"Who are you?! What are you doing with my troll?!" If Henry and (y/n) were shocked, then Ray was infuriated, demanding to know who these strangers in his hideout were.

Nothing happened in those four walls that he didn't know about and the fact that they'd managed to sneak in troubled him deeply, especially since these two looked like Camelot rejects. Well, one of them also bore a striking resemblance to Henry with his fair hair and fine features but that wasn't important. What was essential was finding out why they were in his home and tickling his repairman, torture that only he was allowed to inflict when Schwoz annoyed him.

"Nugget-head, we've been through this. Schwoz is not a troll!" (y/n) snapped her head to her lovable idiot and gave him a pointed stare as his remained on the kids, who looked rather pale-faced as they looked over to see not only some strangers in funny outfits but also, the cruellest, evilest, most brutal man their land had ever known; Ryker, enemy of Astoria. The one who'd laid waste to the kingdom once before and had been trying to do so again for years—looks like he'd found a new land to purge, new people to terrorise and force into his army.

"Arc!"
"Ryker!
"Ciara!" They addressed each other, seemingly shocked to see each other, which was then replaced with a determined fury to claw at each other's throats.

"Schwoz?"
"Hi!" Okay, this was getting a bit weird for Ray, (y/n) and Henry, who found themselves in the middle of a standoff that they didn't understand, merely that Schwoz seemed to be okay now that he had been left alone and that if these kids, Arc and Ciara, were enemies of Ryker, then they had to be their enemies too. Because they were friends now, right?

"And Captain Man as the hero, set to save his pretty girl from the clutches of ev..." Ray joked, turning to (y/n) with a smouldering smirk on his face like he was trying out for the lead role in an action film where a sweaty, muscly underdog defies all the odds to save the sweet chick from a gang of ruffians, only to ride off on his motorcycle into the sunset together. Y'know, that kind of movie. But, as she rolled her eyes and cupped his cheek to accept the kiss he so desperately wanted to share with her, things got heated rather quickly.

Ryker drew the blasters they'd given him and not just any old blasters, some of the most powerful, heavy-duty ones they had, which had been retired due to their tendency to work a little too well. The kids stood steadfast against him, trying not to look afraid and helpless as he pointed the weapons they'd never seen before straight at them. Hang on a second, there seemed to be a little history here and whatever had gone off, it had left some real beef.

"Hang on a second, do you know these guys?" Henry asked, eyeing the boy and the...surprisingly hot girl with a curious eye. Surely, someone as pretty as her couldn't be bad, she looked like perfect girlfriend material—not that he wanted her to be his girlfriend. Yuck, she was bad. He'd had enough date disasters. Ew. Not that he thought she was pretty in the first place, no way.

"Yes! They took my kingdom from me!" Ryker replied and took a few steps towards the unarmed teens and something felt off to (y/n). Their swords were on the ground, not that they'd help against the modern tech, but still, they had no way of defending themselves...and her heart lurched when she looked at the boy. For a second, she could swear that it was her Henry standing there petrified.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't sound very nice but let's not be hasty. Come on, Ryker, let's put the blasters down and—"

"How dare you do that to this sweet man?!" Ray dragged her away from the children, worried about what filthy tricks were up their sleeves because if they could hurt his new friend like that, what could they do to his sweet girl? It wasn't her fault that she was the kindest, gentlest, sweetest soul on Earth and a little too trusting of young faces, those qualities endeared her to him, but so help him god, he was going to teach these punks a lesson. Anything for the man who'd laughed at the story he'd told him like it was the funniest thing in the world, which was more than Henry did.

"Sweet? He enslaved everyone in the kingdom!'
'Then, he used mind control to turn my own sister against me," Arc and Ciara argued, painting Ryker as an awful character, one that (y/n) suddenly found herself backing away from. She knew that he was more than he said he was and despite not knowing anything about them, she found herself siding with the teens, who knew more about this man than they did. Judging by their outfits, they came from the sale oldy-worldy land, so they had to know something and whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"They're making you sound pretty baaaad, dude," Henry whispered in the knight's ear, thinking, or rather, praying that what they were saying wasn't true because he'd been such a nice guy whilst he'd been with them. Kind, courteous, a little blunt after the bad start but capable of great banter as they showed him their stuff. The hot girl and her...friend that was a boy had to be lying, they just had to be.

"Oh, I am bad."
"Ooooh...wait, what?" The heroes recoiled from him slightly, not liking how cool he was with that admission. It was like it didn't phase him at all and (y/n) looked at Ray with fear in her eyes for what they'd done to help this evil man. But he wasn't giving up hope yet and reasoned that maybe Ryker was just a bad boy, kinda like he was a baaaad boy when he pinched her butt when no one was looking.

"Wait, hold on. Bad, like bad bad? Or bad like I'm a bad mamma-jamma?"

"Whatever bad means evil," Ryker, the villainous coward shrugged and instantly, the trio gasped in horror and took a step back. Brutus, is that you? Why didn't he just stab in the heart as well as the back? Ray hoped (y/n) behind him and shared a wide-eyed, disgusted look with Henry as they gave the knight an appalled glare because what the hell? They'd given him their weapons, their time, their help, their everything and now, he was a bad guy. Talk about not knowing a guy.

"What?!"
"You're evil?!
"I told you so, doofus! I told you so! I said to be careful and you ignore my tummy again!" (y/n) facepalmed, practically shaking Ray by the shoulders as he tried to sound out a desperate apology to her but all he could do was open and close his mouth like a goldfish - his shock had stolen his voice. Whatever, she'd deal with him and his too-trusting nature later, right now she had a villain in her home, one that had more weapons than her.

"Oh, yeah...wait, aren't you guys evil? I mean, I thought the girl was a bit soft and flowery but you guys..." Ryker frowned, making them scoff at such a rude presumption. First of all, (y/n) wasn't some dainty mascot that they brought along for the fun, she was a fighter and a good one at that. And secondly, they were as pure as they came, fighting for the light or whatever and it was offensive that he thought otherwise. Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger bad? He should've washed his mouth out with soap.

"No!"
"We're good guys!"
"I'm not soft, okay?! And why would you think we're evil?"

"Uh, 'cause you've got this underground lair, tons of weapons, a troll slave and he threatens to break the arm of any man who disrespects his queen?"
"I am not a troll!" The villain did make a fair point, some things did look a little shady in the wrong light but that was just semantics and didn't mean that they were plotting the enslavement of humanity. Ray had dedicated his entire life to the city of Swellview and its people, and so had his future wife and if he was overprotective of her then that was that, it didn't make him evil. And neither did Schwoz's coconut head make him a troll, not that anyone was listening.

"...I see what happened here. Classic misunderstanding," Ray chuckled dryly and put his arm around Ryker just as he'd done earlier as he tried to mop up his mistakes, "Sooooo...gonna need those weapons back real quick." He grabbed the end of one blaster as Henry and (y/n) took the other, and together, they pulled with all their might, only to discover that the man's grip was like iron; relentless and unbreakable. He refused to return the weapons because they'd given him a chance of stealing back the kingdom that had managed to slip the reigns of his tyranny once and he sure as hell wasn't going to let this chance go—or those blasters.

"Pretty firm grip, dude," Henry nodded to Ray, who gestured for them to relinquish the guns. Time for a change of tactics.

"Tell you what, on the count of three, you're just gonna let go and give those—" Ray smiled at his former acquaintance, doing the decent thing and giving him a chance to give up the blaster before things turned ugly. But, unlike the adored Captain Man, Ryker wasn't known as a decent or kindhearted man, hell, even his mercy was as icy as his frozen heart. So he didn't bat an eyelid when he squeezed the trigger as Miss Danger had demonstrated, sending Ray flying backwards onto the floor with burning pain in his chest, much to his sidekicks' horror. Thank god for his indestructibility.

"Shit, shit—back, everybody, back!" (y/n) shouted to Schwoz, Henry and the two kids from Astoria the moment the plasma was released from the chamber, fearful of what might happen should one of them get hit. She'd be fine, they wouldn't and since Ray was now officially preoccupied, she got to pull rank and make the decisions. So, they took covered behind the couch, ducking so the foam would take the blasts and not their bodies, but when they were safe, she made another decision, one that was rather reckless.

"That means you too, (y/n)!" Henry hissed when she dashed to run to her fiancé's side, thinking that she'd be able to help him in some way, even though no ideas were springing to mind. His harm seized her forearm, keeping her by his side, kneeling on the ground and not charging off into the fray when she'd get blown to bits. If she got squashed into jelly, would her super-regeneration be able to de-jellify itself? Now there was a question, one he didn't want to find the answer to.

"But Ray needs help! I can't just leave him with—with him!" She cried, feeling her heart break as her doofus clawed at the ground whilst fighting through the pain. And to make matters worse, the look on Ryker's face was murderous as if he enjoyed the pain he'd inflicted on his opponent, who might not have splattered on the walls like he'd been told, but then again, he had always enjoyed toying with his prey before the killing blow.

That alone made her want to rip his head off or at the very least rush to soothe any of her doofus' hurts and it was only because Henry refused to let her go that she wasn't facing the mouth of the gun herself.

"He'll be fine, you know that! Look at him, he can take Ryker!" The boy reassured her, aware of how worried she became when her lover was in danger because on countless occasions they'd both made no secret of the fact that they couldn't live without the other. But Ray had super density on his side and that would protect him no matter what that bastard threw his way, so it was safer and wiser for her to stay leading the group. After all, the man was already getting to his feet, looking for round two.

"Get ready to suffer," Ray spat, standing to his full height so he and Ryker could begin to circle. Those blasters didn't scare him, he'd faced much, much, much darker forces and won, so this would be like a light workout, an opportunity to beat this guy up for tricking him so well.

"How? You gonna finish telling me that boring story about your mom and that clown she was dating?"
"It was my aunt and I'm not sure if they were dating!" Oooh, now that was a low blow, one that had Henry and (y/n)'s jaws on the floor because they didn't know how their boss was gonna react. He loved that story and he'd loved how much Ryker had seemed to enjoy it, which was now just another lie, one that fuelled his rage enough for him to pull the laser controller from his belt.

However, the traitorous knight was quicker and before the hero could fire, it was shot from his hand and a piece of melted garbage before it even hit the floor. Then, there was another blast, which this time hit his arm...and another and another, so he had no choice but to duck, weave and roll his way across the Man Cave as Ryker became a madman, intent on destroying this man or causing him agony at the very least.

Most shots missed since his aim wasn't good with the newfangled tech but occasionally, Ray took one to the back or leg and had to limp away the pain just to stay on his feet. This fight wasn't fair and it showed.

"What are you doing? We should help him!" Ciara bent down to address the boy and woman as Ray hid behind an electricity pillar, but they seemed to be reluctant to help their companion. She didn't understand, wasn't the older man his master and her lover? Why would they not want to help? If he was her friend, she wouldn't hesitate to swoop in to save him from the enemy and yet they were buying their time.

"Uh, trust me, sweetie, he insulted Captain Man's story. Now it's personal," (y/n) soothed her concerns, understanding that it looked a bit mean and mutinous to not step in but it was like Henry had said. Ray could take care of himself, as per his reputation as the greatest fighter ever and the fury fuelling his movements—she knew that better than anyone. She knew him.

So, they settled down to watch the fight, rooting for Ray since she spoke so highly of him. However, all of the prowess in the world wouldn't help Ray right now; he was seriously outgunned and unable to get even a single punch as he worked more on his defence than an offence. Another plasma bolt to the back had him yelling in pain, enough to make the spectators cringe as he started to slow down, no doubt a side effect of his body trying to recover from the excessive amounts of pain.

"So, uh, you and your boyfriend go into different dimensions a lot, or...?" Henry asked the pretty girl and the annoyingly handsome guy next to her, thinking that despite the drama going on, he could at least make some small talk and perhaps, maybe, possibly get cosy with this girl. Given that she wasn't already taken, of course, and it didn't take long for (y/n) to see what he was doing. She'd given him all the training she could give in terms of wooing girls, it was time for the student to become the master, but boy, was he bad at it.

"Uh, we're not—"
"He's not my boyfriend," the girl laughed off his assumption and the boy crawled off to go and talk to Schwoz or something. Great, now he was alone with her and single which meant he was free to turn up the charm, even though he was setting himself up for heartbreak since she was from another dimension and everything.

"Nice," he whispered and made a mental note for his later flirting when (y/n) jerked her head towards the fight and gave him a knowing smirk. Right, pay attention, Hart. Ray was doing better; he'd managed to land a kick on Ryker's chest, although it was merely a way of getting him to back off for a moment to allow him to retreat and the firing didn't stop. A well-executed shot landed square on his back, causing the hero to stumble mid-leap as he hopped from the back of the room to the couch. Okay, this wasn't going so well.

"I don't know if they have music in your dimension, but I'm in a band."
"Bullshit," (y/n) coughed into her hand to hide the cackle that threaten to break through her lips when she heard the outrageous lie. Rule number one when flirting; be yourself and don't make stuff up. She'd taught him that and yet he was saying ridiculous things to get some girl he'd know for five minutes to fancy him, even when Ray was getting his ass handed to him. And then, he had the gall to give her a sharp glare. Ugh, teenagers.

"You know your friend's husband is getting beat up pretty bad, right?" Ciara asked, wondering why he was acting calm enough to flirt at a time like this, and why the lady's cheeks seemed to match her satin skirt when she said that. This dimension was weird.

"Oh, uh, they're not married—not yet, and they get touchy when people mention it. And you got me, I'm not in a band—but I'm thinking about joining one...as the star," the boy deflected her question, picking out bits that he felt comfortable talking about and leaving the part about Ray sucking against Ryker. (y/n) had her eye on him, it was fine, even if she did look like she was having a breakdown every time he got hit. He was trying to impress the hot girl and those were few and far between in his life. A few fibs couldn't hurt...

"Hey..." Arc whispered, crawling back to their huddle after interacting with Schwoz. And that wasn't the only thing he'd been doing. " Check it out! I just stole the troll's wallet!" He grinned and held up the leather item that Schwoz angrily snatched back when he saw that it was missing. He had no idea how he'd been able to steal it from under his nose but he wasn't going to let those sticky fingers near him again. Jerk.

"Arc, can you stop stealing for one second?" His friend asked tiredly. Obviously, this kinda thing happened a lot with him.

"I can't help it. It's my thing!" He replied, giving the curious sidekicks a small smirk. That was his skill set, a lowly thief training to be a knight, although he was pretty damn good at the first. But, the joking mood turned sour as Ryker tired of his puny, pathetic blasters, which had probably overheated after so much use, so he switched to the handheld cannons that had been strapped to his back. Oh, god, if Ray thought the old ones hurt, he was in for a nasty shock, one that could take him down if he wasn't careful.

"Getting tired?" The villain taunted.
"I'm just getting started," he replied, staggering to his feet like a drunkard and raising his shaking fists to his chest. He wasn't fooling anyone, the man was on his last legs, barely able to stand up, let alone fight but being the most stubborn on Earth, Ray didn't surrender, merely carried on lamely dodging when Ryker ploughed on. Oh, he did love it when they fought to the bitter, bitter end.

"Uh-oh...he always says I'm just getting started right before he's about to collapse, the silly doofus!" (y/n) murmured, knowing that hardheaded comment from anywhere, as well as the sway in his step and the slur in his speech. He'd be no good to them if he fainted or strained himself and what would they do once Ryker turned on them? Henry would be squished, Arc and Ciara would be squashed and Schwoz really would be taken a troll slave, perhaps even Ryker would make good on his word and steal (y/n) to be his evil queen.

"We have to go!" Henry told his fellow teens and nodded at (y/n) so they could charge in together. Teamwork was the only way they'd managed to get to this guy if they distracted him whilst one of them hit him.

"Let us help!"
"Yeah, we're knights!...in training." However, they weren't gonna have to do it alone. Ciara and Arc offered because they knew Ryker better than anyone and were certain that they could help take him down. After all, that was in their future job descriptions and even though, the hero man was able to land one punch on the villain's face, he looked like he needed all the help he could get. Three were on-target shots as he ran away and he was back on the floor, ready to give up as his body felt numb from soothing pain only for it to rush in again. He hadn't had a beating like this in ages, so his sidekicks scrambled for an idea.

"You're a thief, right?" Henry asked his double, a plan forming in his head that might just work if they were sneaky, clever and very, very lucky.

"Okay, you got me. I stole your wallet too..." Arc confessed, holding up the Man Cave-issued wallet that Henry had for whatever Kid Danger needed to purchase on the company card. Ray and (y/n) trusted him with it, how did that guy manage to take it? Why? Was it because he flirted with the girl? She said she was single...

"What?! No!"
"Oh..."
"Yeah, no, give me back my wallet. Never steal from me again," Henry said sharply, snatching back his wallet quickly since he was well aware that they didn't have time to stand around chatting when Ray needed help. (y/n) was the verge of charging in headfirst and then all hell would break loose, right before he got to divulge his plan.

"I just told you, it's kinda my thing—"
"Listen, I got an idea!" He cut him off, pulling everyone in close so he could whisper about what they were gonna do. Meanwhile, Ray truly was on the verge of collapsing, having resorted to pulling a drawer from a cabinet to use a shield, anything to slow the onslaught of plasma coming his way. He saved himself from a few, but lifting the heavy metal was difficult for his exhausted muscles, which begged for him to put it back down the second he pulled it over his face. He couldn't go on...

"Wait...wait, did you just say time out? I mean, I don't need one myself but if you want to take five, I'll let ya," he panted, staring at the bad guy with blurry vision, praying that he took the bait. Of course, Ryker was still at one hundred per cent, ready to finish the fight and claim victory but the small conversation had been enough to distract him from the group hiding behind the couch and Ray couldn't believe his eyes.

Henry and those strangers had climbed onto the sofa and were diving onto Ryker, piling on him together so he fell to the floor from their combined weight and velocity. That gave (y/n) the opportunity to slide across the floor and kneel by his side, her arms rushing to wrap around and support him when he practically fell into her. Her embrace had never been softer, her words had never been gentler and her kiss had never been sweeter to his tired soul as he bathed in her care, leaving the kids to resume the fighting for him.

"Oh, wait, wait! I don't need help!" He slurred, his stubbornness rearing its ugly head again since he saw this as his responsibility, his problem, his fight, therefore, he should've been the one to finish it. His body was screaming yes, let them get on with it so he could lay and regain his strength with his sweet girl but his head was ordering him to suck it up and fight like a man. He couldn't choose, both sounded like the better option so when he moved to stand up, someone else decided for him.

"Yes, you do, Raymond. Let us help you," (y/n) whispered hotly in his ear, dragging her lips over the shell and that made his mind up then and there. He slumped into her hold again, arms loosely around her waist so he could get closer and he accepted that they knew what they were doing. Fighting would be good, but the medicine she dished out was better.

"Well, if you want to help me, darlin' I'll let ya..." he murmured back and for a moment, she thought that he was going to try and doze on her shoulder - Lord knows he needed the rest. But, in true Ray fashion, as his head dipped, it turned to the right and his lips found their place against hers, the honey taste invigorating him more than sleep ever could. It was brief, too brief to be satisfying but he still wanted to watch the fight and just having her holding him was enough.

Henry groaned as he was tossed from Ryker's back with one throw, landing awkwardly as Arc and Ciara had but he hoped that the brief pileup had been enough for the boy to work his magic in the chaos. He owed him his life too; as Ryker went to blast his new ally, Arc moved quicker and kicked the cannon from his head, meaning Henry was free to wriggle away as man and boy engaged in hand-to-hand combat. He blocked whatever punched came his way and managed to triumph against his opponent, holding back his arm as he sucker-punched him in the nose.

Ryker stumbled backwards, towards Henry, and the kid was able to react in time to try and kick him, but not fast enough to stop him from grabbing his foot. As he was hit down, Ciara came from behind, ducking when the evil man tried to swipe at her and kicked him from the chin harshly. In a flurry of punches, she pushed toward Arc and Henry once more, who was able to land a blow on his face and then a swipe to the back of his legs, meaning he fell to the floor when she dealt the final kick.

"Schwoz, get the elevator button!" Henry cried to the genius, who scurried out from his hiding place near the controls for the portal machine as Ray found it in himself to finish the fight. Peeling himself from his sweet girl's arms, he took up his drawer again and glared at Ryker woozily, striking him on the fore hump with a satisfying thump. He was down, for now, disoriented from their attacks and they were ready to shove him in the elevator as per Henry's plan but poor Charlotte and Jasper had made an innocent trip down, unaware of the carnage.

"Oh my god!" Jasper shouted, looking at the scene with fear and confusion. Wasn't that the scary knight who'd promised to reward him? And who were these people? Why did one look exactly like his best friend? Why were they fighting? No one questioned by they were wearing the Task Bunny uniform, all pink and cute and fluffy, it was adamant that they remove the self from the danger before they seriously hurt themselves.

"Get out of the elevator, you two!" (y/n) yelled, beckoning the kids into the room as Ryker stood up like a newborn foal, wobbly and unsure. They scattered, diving to the side as Henry and Ciara came charging forward, kicking the villain hard in the chest so he stumbled backwards into the open elevator.

"Did you get the pin?" Henry asked Arc, hoping that his part of his idea had gone smoothly. Ryker was covered in so many grenades, all it would take was one to defeat him. Not necessarily blow him up, god, they weren't sick, and the teen knights promised him that his armour would keep him alive so that he'd just feel the immense pain of the blast. Hopefully, that would then be enough to subdue him, if not, they were all out of ideas.

"Oh, I got all ten!" Arc replied cheerfully and held up his fingers so they could all see that he had a small key of metal hanging off every finger. Okay, ten grenades going off at once would be a bit of an overkill but whatever. It paid to be thorough.

"I said just get one!"
"No, I know, I really hate Ryker. Plus, it looks neat with one on each finger," he smiled at Henry's concern for the asshole who'd attacked his home and jingled the pins a little bit. It was less than he deserved, only a fraction of the pain he'd caused to others, so Ryker had it coming and the boy was not one bit sorry.

"Hey, Ryker..." Ray suddenly piped up, having fallen silent and back into (y/n)'s arm after smacking the villain on the head. He was exhausted, lounging in her lap but dear god, he was the king of having the last word and he wasn't going to let this fool burn without saying something cool to round off the fight. Or something stupid, his head wasn't in the best place right now. "Your story's boring!"

'What? I wasn't telling a story," he replied with a perplexed look on his face because this weirdo was talking nonsense. Charlotte closed the elevator door, which was blast-resistant so it would contain the explosion from all of those flickering grenades going off and now that he was safe in the knowledge that he'd said something vaguely witty, Ray was free to drop his head onto his girl's shoulder. She giggled at her dumb he was, but said well done all the same and rewarded him with a kiss on his damp forehead, which had him smiling more dopily than any comeback could.

And as Ray let himself be carried off into relaxation, Ryker's time was up. The explosion rocked the Man Cave but still, the elevator held up, releasing nothing but vibrations and a little smoke as ten bombs went off all at once. Some did cringe at the agony the guy was no doubt feeling, it was hard not to and the minute the dust settled, Charlotte tentatively pressed the button again, eager to see if she needed to get the hosepipe for this intimidating man.

They gathered around, seeing nothing through the thick smoke, only hearing the coughs and splutters of Ryker as (y/n) helped Ray to his feet and slung one of his arms around her shoulder. Preferably, he'd be sat down right now as she got him a hot drink and a snack but he was insistent, eager to see what had become of his enemy, even if he couldn't see properly.

"Ohhhhh..."
"Yeah...."
"That does not look right."
"Burned mamma jamma," they winced at how crispy the man looked and boy, were they glad that that was not them. But for Ray, it was a job well done, after all, there was no way he'd have ever been able to take him down himself, so he was thankful to his fiancée for taking care of him and proud of his sidekick for saving the day. However, a slight problem came about when he stood next to Arc and patted him on the shoulder instead because both boys looked identical through a sober man's eyes, let alone ones that had been beaten up.

"Nice job, Henry..."
"Doofus, what are you tal—oh, no, no, no!—Too late..." (y/n) flinched as he smiled at the wrong kid and then felt his body slump next to hers. She was holding him up, sure, but her small frame could never hold up his six-foot body unaided, so she had no choice but to let go and regretfully watch him fall, lest he drag her down and hurt her too. He'd be fine, a little nap would probably do him good and besides, it's not like face planting the floor could ruin his perfect face.

"Who's Henry?" All's well that ends well, but the thing was, it wasn't over yet.

~

Half an hour later and Ray was back to his normal self in every sense. He'd been a little too handsy and kissy with (y/n) as per usual, which led to some awkward explanations to Arc and Ciara, he'd been as bigheaded as ever, bragging about the fight and now, with his sweet girl curled into his side, he was retelling his lame story to Schwoz.

No one cared, no one wanted to listen to something with a non-existent plot line, so the genius just nodded and smiled occasionally as he scanned the multiverse to send the knights home, leaving (y/n) to make her doofus feel like he wasn't talking to a brick wall. She'd rather talk about something else, but as ever, she listened patiently like it was the most interesting tale in the world.

"So, now I'm in the truck with the clown, my aunt, the kangaroo and my cousin!" He exclaimed happily to the confused group. His team were used to it but the Astorians were wondering what the hell was wrong with this man as he kept rambling. Ryker had been peeled from the elevator wall too, just so he could sit and be tortured by the hero and his sucky story and his neck brace and head wrap for the burns didn't do much in blocking out the racket.

"And we're on our way back to the bowling alley when we realise—"
"The portal's about to open!" Schwoz suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the story, much to everyone's relief.

"Yes!"
"Oh, thank god...." For Arc and Ciara, it was time to say goodbye and whilst the new world had been fun and slightly terrifying, they couldn't wait to get home...and away from the man who wouldn't shut up. The same violet and pink portal opened as before, showing the gateway back to Astoria and they quickly rushed towards it. It could close again at any moment and they weren't going to live the rest of their lives here, although one of them was...

"Wait, aren't you taking this guy with you?" Jasper called after them and pointed at Ryker, who they'd naughtily left behind as they strode towards the inter-dimensional door. Hang on, they didn't want to have him living with them but to the knights, it made sense that the villain stayed with them.

"Uh, no."
"No way!" They chuckled, knowing that if Ryker returned to their kingdom then he'd regain his powers and try to invade again. No, it was much safer that he stay here, in the realm of twinkling lights and shiny screens and they didn't care what happened to him, not one bit as long as he stayed away from Astoria.

"Well, what should we do with him?" Charlotte asked, shocked that they were having some evil guy dumped on them by two mischievous knights.

"Anything."
"Don't care. Your dimension is weird!" Arc replied, thinking that he much preferred the simple life he had back home, where normal things happened like magic and sword fights. He understood that stuff, not the strange weapons and clothes they had here, so he was more than happy to leave Ryker where he was in over his head. He was their problem now, he was glad to say.

"Good luck with your band!" Ciara, however, said kindly to Henry. She wasn't sure exactly why he'd been so weird but he was quite cute at the end of the day. Not cute enough for her to want to stay behind, no way, and cross-dimensional relationships weren't her thing but a parting smile couldn't hurt anything...except for Henry's lonely heart.

"Hey! I never got your number!" Henry jumped up from the couch and stared longingly at Ciara, hoping by some miracle that Schwoz could create a phone strong enough to send signals to her world. But, there was one small issue; Astoria was a medieval world and in olden times, people didn't use phones, so it made sense that the pretty girl had no idea what he was talking about.

"Uh, four?" She offered, thinking that he was after her lucky number or something. And just like that, before he could explain or find an answer, the portal closed forever, leaving Henry loveless once again as he would never see Ciara or Arc ever again. Passing faces in his life and for a moment, he allowed himself to be sad at the thought of another girl who'd gotten away, but as ever, he had his wingman to boost his confidence.

"That number does not help me!"
"Still got it, though," Jasper commented, causing Henry to smirk and high-five him. Yeah, it was a small success on his part and he didn't let it trouble him, well aware that there were plenty more girls out there and they wouldn't be from a different dimension. They'd be perfect.

"So! I was in high school, yeah?" Ray clapped his hands, smiling that all-too-familiar smile and instantly, the teens knew that he was back on story patrol. Right, yeah, they wanted no part of that and even though it seemed cruel to leave (y/n) with him to listen to it alone, they figured that she secretly enjoyed it. After all, she got to spend time with her doofus, her most favourite thing in the world, what was not for her to love?

"Hey, you guys want to go upstairs and do anything else?"
"Yes!"
"Absolutely!"
"Yeah, I love anything else!" Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz quickly agreed with him and they speedily walked towards the elevator, intent on going up to Junk-N-Stuff to "work" and gossip about what had happened that day. That caused (y/n) to give them a raised-eyebrow look, but her telling smile told them that it was fine for them to go off and have fun, no matter how offended Ray looked. She got it, no one else could listen to his stories as she could and that was okay, it just left her with more time to admire everything about him.

"Hey! Who's gonna hear my story?!" Ray asked with a pout, not liking how everyone, bar his sweet girl, was walking out on him.

"Uhhhh, (y/n), obviously, she always listens to your stories, anddddd...him! Byeeeeeee!" Henry smiled happily, a glint of cunning in his eye when he saw how Ryker tensed at the thought of being alone with the loved-up couple. He'd seen how they acted, they were handsy and sickeningly cute to the point where he wanted to vomit. No, no, no, they couldn't leave him like this, it was inhumane and god, that story. That story would end him, but for Ray and (y/n), it was a perfect idea.

So, slowly, the hero guided his lover over to the couch, slightly unsure of where to start since the villain had already said he hated it earlier. The best place to start was probably getting comfortable, so Ray sat on the end of the cushion and brought (y/n) into his lap, allowing her to snuggle in for the very long haul. She sat with her legs thrown across his, her arms around his neck with one of his around her back as she rubbed her nose into his neck and relaxed. Ryker was tugging at his chains for dear life, wishing that he'd taken a better path in life as the story/torture began.

"So, I was in high school, right? And my aunt, she met this clown. Now, I don't know if they were dating or not, I didn't ask questions. But something was definitely going on 'cause they had...a connection—" Ray started, remembering how weirdly his auntie used to look at this clown and now, that he looked back, it was pretty similar to how he looked at his beloved girl. She was drawing circles on his neck, enjoying his voice in her ears more than what he was saying, but for the dark knight, he didn't enjoy any of it. He flopped backwards in frustration and prayed for it to end soon, even though they were only getting started.

"You mean like how we have a connection, doofus?" (y/n) asked teasingly, her fingers sliding up Ray's neck, leaving shivers where they went as they moved over his jaw. She was being deliberately annoying and flirtatious, having a little fun since she saw how much their enemy hated anything fun or loving, plus, it had been a long day and Ray seemed to feed off of her smirk to fuel his own steadily growing, internal blaze.

"Yeah, sweet girl, just like that..." the man smiled and Ryker felt like puking as he saw their lips connect for the fiftieth time that day out of the corner of his eye. The ensuing smacking noises made his stomach feel queasy and he wondered how their friends put up with their constant need for affection.

Seriously, he didn't know what was worse, the lame-ass story or this joker and his queen.