Love and War – Fleurie
Zelda had enough.
She stood with crossed arms amidst the arranged candles on the floor and set them alight with a single blink. They acted as the only source of light when she switched off the headlights. The intense smell of valerian root, rosemary, and thyme made her feel a little lightheaded, causing her to wonder if she'd used too much this time. Since this wasn't like anything she'd done before, she figured it would require more of, well, everything.
Deciding she needed another cigarette, Zelda dropped onto the end of her bed and produced an ashtray as she pulled on her cigarette. The smoke filled up her lungs, and the nicotine soothed her nerves almost instantly. She hadn't heard from Lilith since their last encounter a week ago. And frankly, Zelda had hit a wall there. She'd done her part, and there wasn't more she could offer Lilith as a sacrifice other than her pride. Either she'd come around, or this would be the end of whatever kind of tryst this had been.
Crossing her legs, Zelda looked outside the window to see the moon and perhaps a sign of solidarity from her goddess. It felt so empty without Vinnie T. here, but she'd had to banish him for now as he'd never let her go through with it. Without her faithful companion, Zelda became all too aware of the fact that she had no one left.
Sure, Hilda and Dr Cee had moved into the mortuary again. Technically, Ambrose still lived here as well, but he was concerned with Prudence most of the time. They all had each other. After Sabrina's death and Marie's departure, she was the only one with no real connection or sense of belonging. When Sabrina had still been around, she'd had a mission, and her niece had also been the glue that kept this family together. Most of all, she'd been the one to make Zelda feel included since, truth be told, she wasn't exactly a likeable person.
With Lilith, she'd felt wanted again for the first time since Marie—and everybody knew how that had turned out and how she'd been played yet again. She'd thought herself so clever for marrying Faustus to assume power, and similarly, she'd put her trust in Marie. In the end, they'd given her nothing but grief and humiliation, whether it had been intentional or not.
The candles threatened to burn down, so Zelda hurried with her cigarette and overdid it a little, coughing on the last drags. Clearing her throat, she tapped the last bit of ash into the tray and stubbed the cigarette out. Now there was only the tumbler of whisky resting on the vanity left to empty. Standing up and smoothing down her skirt, Zelda headed over and drank until her throat was positively on fire.
In the end, everyone had their happy endings except for her. She'd been left with nothing but the agony of having to watch the people around her find comfort in their significant other's arms while she'd been utterly betrayed and her life's purpose had been taken away from her.
She envied silly little Hilda's simple life filled with love and pastry. She envied Ambrose for his life full of possibilities, aspirations, and love. She envied Theo, Robin, Roz, and Harvey. She even envied Sabrina.
Zelda had enough.
Putting the tumbler down with a thud, she grabbed the needle, tube, and bucket and stepped into the centre of the circle of candles. Kneeling, she connected the needle to the tube and drew her gaze over the room again, swallowing thickly. It wasn't like there was anything here for her, she reminded herself, and she started palpating for a vein in her arm bend. Reaching for the disinfecting spray, she applied it to her arm and wiped it away. Then she sprayed again and let it air-dry this time while putting the open end of the tube into the bucket.
Here goes nothing, Zelda thought as she took the needle, angled it, and inserted it into her vein. A hiss escaped her when it pierced the skin, and after having to poke around a little, the blood started flowing through the tube into the bucket. To keep the needle in place, Zelda taped a plaster over it and reclined on her back. Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing, feeling the blood drain from her body. Quickly, she entered a meditative state, both by will and induced by the bloodletting, and set about to astral project.
As she attempted to speak the incantation, her lips were so heavy that she could only murmur. "Vola anima per aeterna."
***
"Your Majesty."
Lilith looked up from her work, peering through the glasses she didn't need but still used for sentimental reasons. "Speak, Minion. I don't have all day."
She flicked a page with her thumb, shifting her attention back to the task at hand.
"I have come to inform you that shortly there will be a witch's soul passing the threshold."
"Witches don't concern us," Lilith replied dryly.
Minion shifted from one foot to the other, gnawing at the insides of his cheek before replying. "I thought this one might..."
The colour drained from Lilith's face as her eyes snapped up and she stared at him. Surely, he didn't mean?
Her throat suddenly felt dry and scratchy. "Minion. Who?" Lilith growled, making the demon quiver as though she'd end him presently.
"Who!" she bellowed, pushing up from her seat at the table and slamming her hand on it.
"Sp-ellman," Minion stuttered, taking a couple of steps back. "Z-Zelda Spellman."
"Impossible."
Needing to see it for herself, she pushed past him and got ready to teleport. If this were a lie, he would pay with more than his life. And then she stopped dead in her tracks to reevaluate everything that had just happened. After how Zelda had treated her, when she had shown her nothing but kindness, why should she care?
Clenching her fists and her jaw, she fought against the urge to come to her rescue but failed despite her best effort to reason with herself.
She ended up following Zelda's magic signature to the mortal plane and arriving in a bedroom of the Spellman Mortuary. Soon, she spotted Zelda's body lying on the floor, surrounded by candles. Lilith froze as her mind tried to process what she was seeing: Zelda's pale skin, her heaving chest, and, at last, the blood-filled tube hanging from a bucket full of red liquid. Her eyes widened, sweat broke out on her forehead, and fear made her stomach turn.
To avoid burning her dress, she extinguished the candles with a sway of her arms and crouched beside Zelda's body, aimlessly touching and shaking her. Pulling the needle out of her arm, Lilith pressed down on the spot as hard as she could, unfazed by the tube falling and spilling blood everywhere. Her focus was on Zelda, whose head was moving slowly, lips were opening and closing as she muttered "Sabrina" over and over again.
A suspicion creeped up on Lilith as to what Zelda had been trying to do. Patting Zelda's cheek, Lilith uttered, "Stupid witch. You... stupid..."
Feeling her pulse, Lilith found it racing and weak from the blood loss, and her skin was laced with cold sweat. Panic took over; she didn't have a clue how to handle this. The only thing she knew was that she seemed to be alone in the house, as her telepathic call for help hadn't reached anyone.
Holding on to Zelda tightly, she tried to think clearly. For one, Zelda was halfway conscious and breathing. Good thing. The bleeding had stopped. Also good. Now, the problems to solve were breathing, pulse, and body temperature.
Unable to come up with a solution for the first two issues, Lilith decided to tend to the one she could handle first. Scooping Zelda up, she carried her limp body to the bed and gently lowered her before picking up all the blankets she could find in this room to cover her.
She had to wipe at her eyes as she tried to think of what to do next. Zelda needed blood, but she was hardly qualified to conduct a transfusion. The only thing she could do was try to get some fluids into her, but again, for that, Zelda needed to be conscious, and that meant bringing her back from the Nether Realm.
Struggling to contain her panic, Lilith lied down next to Zelda and tried to gain control of her own breathing to focus on what she wanted to do next. Cupping Zelda's damp, cold cheek, she closed her eyes and commanded her soul to track down Zelda's. Passing a concerning number of psychopomps, she followed Zelda's essence and found her deep in the mist. She grasped for her, and since her body's fading was also affecting the projection, Zelda could only weakly resist. Grabbing her, Lilith dragged Zelda with her until she could pull her out of the Nether Realm and back into her body.
With a gasp, Zelda's eyes shot open at the feeling of Lilith's soft hand on her cheek and then her lips on her mouth. She kissed her repeatedly, and warm droplets landed on Zelda's face. Then Lilith pulled away, wiping her eyes and mouth as if to wash off the hint of emotion there.
"Lil-What are you—" Zelda started, but her head was spinning, and she could hardly speak.
Tentatively, she moved her fingers, tapping on the mattress to test her abilities, then reached out for Lilith. She couldn't pretend it didn't hurt when she scooted backwards and stood up, leaving to fetch some water and grab a banana from the fruit basket Hilda must have left there for her sister.
For a moment, Zelda was alone with the nauseating metallic smell of a bucket of blood standing in the middle of the room, left to ponder her humiliating situation. She needed Lilith to leave, but the way she had held her cheek before made it hard to want that. The truth was, Zelda wanted her as an ally, as a confidant, as more.
"Here, drink that," Lilith instructed, a sharp tone in her voice as she held the glass to her mouth.
Before Zelda could protest against how patronising this felt, she had to gulp the cold water down, or she would've choked on it. Lilith forced the whole glass into her, then pressed a half-peeled banana into her hand. "Eat."
And then Lilith was up and about again, unable to sit or be close to her for too long, it appeared. She returned with a damp cloth, starting to wash the sweat off Zelda without any warning or word. That's when Zelda had enough and pushed her away. Lilith didn't take it well, and she fired the cloth to the floor with a grunt, causing it to hit the bucket and almost push it over.
She grabbed Zelda by the collar and tugged, her mouth in a frown and her nose scrunching as she spoke. "You do so love your self-pity, Zelda, don't you?"
Zelda, caught off guard, escaped a short whimpering sound as she stared up at Lilith, and all she felt was... tired. She was tired of fighting Lilith.
For a moment, they just stared into each other's eyes, Lilith's chest heaving with so much anger and Zelda in complete surrender. Feeling the tears burning in her eyes, Zelda swallowed them and breathed, "Could you please stop being angry for a minute?"
Then her back hit the mattress. Lilith's hand was still on her clothes but not tugging anymore. Her eyes moved rapidly, and she sniffed before letting go and turning away. Pushing herself up, Zelda once again had to accept defeat as her body simply wouldn't let her move into an upright position, so she sank back into the pillow and groaned in frustration.
Trying to calm herself, Lilith closed her eyes to breathe. Zelda was right; she was so angry that it blinded her. At the same time, anger was not something she felt often. Vengefulness? Yes. The urge to destroy? Yes. Grandiosity? Also yes. But anger—that was reserved for people... people who she cared about, who she'd let in close enough to hurt her—and hell knew, Zelda had.
Pressing her lips together, Lilith didn't even look at Zelda as she went on to ask, "What was this about? Did you really think you could just pull your niece from the Nether Realm?"
"Well, you didn't want to help, so what choice did I have?" Zelda scoffed, craving a cigarette.
"Don't you dare, Zelda," Lilith growled, digging her nails into the mattress next to her thighs. "It's not my fault you don't have any sense of self-preservation left."
"Because I also don't have anyone left," Zelda explained cynically, diverting her gaze.
"How nice of you."
She hadn't expected this kind of reaction from Lilith, hadn't expected her to still care—although the fact that she came to her rescue could've been a clue. Zelda, being her usual self, didn't know how to deal with people caring about her and chose to argue. "Don't act all offended. You practically told me to go fuck myself."
Unwilling to engage in the bickering any longer, Lilith changed the topic. "I've tried to find Sabrina."
"You have?" Zelda asked, stunned. Her lips parted, and she tried to prop herself up.
Nodding, Lilith went on to explain with a sigh. "A long time ago, actually. Even before you called. It took me a while to figure out that she isn't in one of the usual places."
"Well, where is she then?" Zelda pressed, impatient. Her heart was pumping rapidly, struggling to keep her circulation going. A wave of dizziness reminded her to stay calm, although this was easier said than done.
"I figured she must be in the realm of the Loa."
"Guinee," Zelda concluded, and Lilith confirmed.
"Exactly."
It sounded too good to be true, and Zelda got excited. Her pale face lit up for the first time in almost a year. "So, what are we waiting for? We both know Marie! Surely she—"
"No." Lilith stopped her right there, hating to be the one to kill the spark of hope in Zelda's eyes. "You might've had the privilege to be an object of interest for one of them, but you cannot underestimate them."
Object—that hit the nail on the head as to how Zelda had felt after Marie's revelation.
"How would you know?" Zelda asked, furrowing her brows. "As far as I can remember, you were smitten with her too."
Lilith let out a long breath, looking at the ceiling in search of the strength to think back on her days with Lucifer. Her thumbs were twirling around each other, fingers laced together, a distraction.
"There was a time," she struggled to get the words out, "when I was still Lucifer's right hand. It was millennia ago. We had a war with them, and we... lost."
"You lost? That's rather hard to believe." The way Lilith spoke led Zelda to think it was more than a lost battle to Lilith, but she decided not to pry. "And how come we, his worshippers, never knew about that?"
"You just answered your own question."
Zelda opened and closed her mouth, tilting her head. There was still some reflection to do about her former confession, her blind following, and her bending her knee for the wrong people.
"Lucifer wanted you all to think of him as a god. And what kind of God would he be if he'd been defeated?"
"I see."
It made sense.
Zelda needed a moment to process yet another deception fabricated by the King of Lies before focusing on Sabrina again. "But we don't have to start a war, do we? If Marie really had a sweet spot for me, why shouldn't she agree to a deal? She gave me this peculiar box before she left and said I could call on her."
Lilith turned and reached over Zelda's legs, leaning on the mattress. "Don't even think about it, Zelda. It's too dangerous."
Sighing, Zelda shifted around, trying to see if her strength was returning. "So what should we do then?"
"You lie down and rest, Miss Spellman," Lilith insisted, arching a brow.
Zelda rolled her eyes but couldn't help but agree that she was in no state to be cooking up schemes. Hesitant, she licked her dry lips. "And what will you do?"
Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, Lilith thought of what to say, then released it with a smack. "I shall stay and make sure you don't decide to die on me in your sleep."
"You don't have t—"
"Zelda..." Her heart was pounding in her chest, so much so that she could hear it in her ears. "I can't believe I'm saying this," she shook her head, "but I find myself worried about you and that sc—" She swallowed the word and started again. "I find it unpleasant."
"Very well," Zelda rasped, puzzled by the confession, and watched with big eyes as Lilith reclined beside her. Shifting from her back to her side, she took in her features. They appeared softened, and the traces of anger had faded. It made Zelda feel calmer immediately. "Does that mean you don't hate me anymore?"
It had a humorous tone to it, but Zelda genuinely wanted to know.
"I never hated you," Lilith said sincerely, reaching for Zelda's wrist to draw her thumb over it in thought.
"Why do I feel there's a 'but'?"
Lilith, inhaling through her nose, couldn't find it in her to elaborate since her little rescue operation—the fear of losing Zelda—had worn her out. "Just be patient with me."
With that, she closed her eyes, nuzzling into the arm that she was using as a pillow. She moved her hand from Zelda's wrist to her waist and pulled her closer.
Lilith's unexpected tender care for her touched Zelda, and she scooted closer, breathing a kiss on her cupid's bow. "I can do that."
Being so close to each other, their own distinct scents mixed and replaced the smell of blood. There would be some cleaning up to do in the morning, but for now, all they needed was rest.
Neither of them had been lucky in life thus far, but there was no point in envying others' merry lives if one didn't have the patience to wait for their own to turn around.
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edited 03/09/23