I hum gently as I work on the final malfunctioning kitchen light, occasionally muttering a word or two as I do so. Luckily, it's been relatively easy to fix the lights. I think a minor earthquake might've shaken the wiring loose. It's just a matter of having a set of hands that know their way around this sort of thing to put everything back in place. I've also taken the liberty of setting in them in such a way that renders them less likely to become undone again in the future.
Abuela Diaz has been entertaining me with stories about Miguel and casual conversation about cuisine. She's amazing. It's been funny to hear all about the stupid shit Miguel has done over the years, and even the things he's done in the last year or so. It brought me some much needed joy. Consider my serotonin levels raised.
I hardly pay any attention to the door opening. I'm almost done, and I've got a sort of momentum going. It's probably just Ms Diaz coming home anyway.
"Parker?" a confused voice asks, causing me to almost fall off of my ladder. Miguel?! Right, he was supposed to come home today... he told me about that, I can't believe I forgot... I look down, shocked and a little embarrassed.
"Uhh.. hi," I respond, making awkward eye contact for a moment. I look away quickly, face going hot.
"What- what are you doing here?" he asks, seeming just as flustered as I feel.
"I was just uh- I was fixing the lights. I'm almost done though so- I uh- I'll be out of here soon," I stammer. I have somewhere to be somewhere soon. I'm so close to being done. Sam planned another karate session at Miyagi-Do this afternoon and I said that I would definitely be there. As the one with the most experience, I feel as if everyone expects me to always be there, and always be at my best. I completely understand, as I expect the same from myself at all times, and if I don't live up to those expectations, then I'm automatically a disappointment, but the pressure from other people is really daunting.
"The lights have been acting up for days. Parker was nice enough to come and fix them," Ms Diaz says, "has it been going okay?"
"Oh yeah, it's a relatively easy fix. I think some wiring just came loose," I say back. I carefully secure the wires in the last light, put the fixture back in place, then climb back down the ladder.
"There. It should hold for a long time, but if it ever starts being weird again, just let me know."
"Thank you so much, you're too kind," she says upon testing the lights and finding that they work. Thank goodness. I was afraid that they wouldn't.
"Yeah, it was no problem," I say, "I should uh- I should get going now though. I promised a friend I would be somewhere and uhm- yeah. I'm glad you're back at home, Miguel. Nice to- nice to see you."
I'm not entirely sure why I'm getting so worked up, but I guess maybe I just wasn't expecting him to be here and things have been a little weird since when he called me at school earlier this week. Maybe I'm just making a normal situation weird again, I don't know. I don't know.
"You're not staying?" Miguel asks. ¿Perdón?
"I wish I could, but I really do have somewhere to be," I say, "it completely slipped my mind that you were coming home today. If I had remembered then I would've planned around it, but I'm an idiot, so I apologize."
If I had known then I would've came here earlier to avoid an encounter like this. What I really need to do is shut the hell up because I'm really just making a fool out of myself at this point. When talking becomes one of my strong suits, it's over for everybody.
"Don't beat yourself up about it," Ms Diaz says, "you're a lifesaver."
"It was nothing, really," I say, "I'll see you guys around."
With that, I head for the door, waving as I leave. I have a karate session to help lead.
———
"Alright. Now that we've seen a demo and practiced the basic movements, let's pair up and run it slowly, just to get the motions correct. I don't want anybody to get-"
"What do you think you're doing?" Somebody asks, cutting me off. I whip around. Shit... it's Mrs LaRusso... my face gets red hot.
"Uh... would you believe.. study group?" Demetri asks. Good lord.
"Go home," she says, "all of you."
Heavy with shame, I make to follow after my peers, hanging my head so I don't make eye contact with Mrs LaRusso.
"Not you, Parker," she calls after me. Somehow, that's worse. I drag myself back over to where she, Sam, and Anthony stand. Mrs LaRusso looks upset... this is awful; now I feel awful. This place already has me teetering on the edge of flashbacks and panic episodes and tears, but at least every time I've been able to hold onto the fact that I'm helping to prevent people I care about from getting hurt. This... this is the confrontation that I've been terrified about every time I do this. I just want to help people to not get hurt...
"So what part of 'no more karate' did you not understand?" Mrs LaRusso asks. It appears as if the question is directed more towards Sam, because the only thing I was told is that Miyagi-Do was closing.
"Seems pretty straightforward," Anthony adds. Sam shoots him a look. Why is he here again?
"The part where you and Dad think you get to decide that for me or for Parker," Sam says. I appreciate her defending me as well, although I'm not sure if I want to be roped into the family argument.
"They do pay the bills as long as you live under their roof," Anthony says. Again, why is he here? What dad possessed him with the 'you live under my roof' spirit? And what would he know about paying bills? Por Dios...
"What about school?" Mrs LaRusos asks, blowing past Sam's response, "Principal Lopez called me. Think you can just ignore their rules too?"
Right, the soccer game... I love my friends, but that was so... infuriating to hear about. I have my engineering class that hour, so I completely missed out on the soccer game aka beating the shit out of Cobra Kai 'without' administration noticing. Needless to say, I think they noticed. While I do wish I could've been there to help in one way or another, I'm also incredibly grateful that I wasn't, because I've finally gotten back on a good track in terms of things like show choir, and one more screw up on my part takes all of that away and I can't have that.
"What, the soccer game?" Sam asks, "that was nothing."
I mean... not really but I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.
"It's not nothing, Sam. You could've gotten suspended again, or gotten people like Parker suspended," Mrs LaRusso says. I guess it's nice to know that she cares about whether or not I get suspended.
"Thought you were smarter than that," Anthony says, "very disappointed in you."
"Go wait in the car, Anthony," Mrs LaRusso finally says. Gracias a Dios. He was getting on my nerves.
"Look, I don't know what's going on with you- with either of you-"
"No, you don't," Sam says, cutting her off, "if you really think karate is the problem, then you have not been paying attention."
Sam storms off, but I don't dare. I stay frozen where I stand, not daring to look up, lest I make eye contact and feel as if my soul is being burned through.
"Parker... you know that Daniel and I can't make decisions for you, but I know that you must've been shaken after the fight and with moving to a new apartment and your dad going to rehab and everything with Robby... why come back to karate?" Mrs LaRusso asks, her voice a little more gentle. My heart pangs with everything she lists. What hurts the most is that she has a point. It hurts. It all hurts so bad. But I keep doing it because if I can prevent others from feeling the pain that I've felt.. then it's all worth it.
"I didn't want to... especially after the big fight and everything that happened... I didn't want to come back to karate. I stopped sparring at tae kwon do. I put all my karate things in a box in my closet and I haven't looked at them since. But... Cobra Kai isn't stopping. They're not sealing away karate just because of what happened, they're not quitting, they're not stopping. But we did. We stopped, and now we're paying the price for it. Nathaniel and I already got beat up, just for trying to help Miguel," I say, lifting up my shirt so she can see the bruise on my side. She gasps a little. Exactly.
"I don't mean to disrespect you or Mr LaRusso or anyone, but... we just don't want to get hurt anymore. We've all spent the better part of lives getting pushed around, but then we had karate. We had each other. And maybe- maybe we just want some piece of that back..."
All of the pent up words just come spilling out. Maybe it's true. Maybe it does hurt like hell to come here and practice without the one person who always had my back no matter what happened, but maybe this is the only way I can feel like I have some part of the good thing that I had. I love tae kwon do with all of my heart, but I didn't feel like things were good in my life until I had the people and the experiences that I gained through karate. And maybe a part of me just desperately wants that back and is willing to do anything for it, no matter how much it hurts.
"But why you, Parker? I know the way you are and I know how Sam is. Why would you take on the burden of leading all these kids?" she asks. Isn't it obvious?
"I've had the most experience. I've been training in martial arts since I was eight years old. Half of my life has been spent learning how to defend myself. I've won two tae kwon do sparring tournaments and placed second in the All Valley karate tournament. Mr LaRusso knew that he could show up an hour late and things would still be fine because I knew what I was doing. I've been leading classes in tae kwon do, I've lead these people before. It's really just a matter of experience," I say. She nods a little.
"I just... I figured you of all people would know better.." she trails off. My heart twinges with guilt.
"Yeah..." I say, "me too."
With that, I will my feet to take me away against my entire brain screaming at me to stay put. I don't know what came over me. All I know is that I had to get out of there, and for once, I felt like it was okay to do something for my own good.
——-
I sit on my bed, kubotan from Robby in hand, trying not to cry. I turn it over absentmindedly, reading the words engraved in it over and over again.
we're in this together... whether we like it or not...
I've got your back... no matter what...
I can't help but wonder if Robby repeats the words in his head over and over again as much as I do... if when things are quiet, all he can think about are those two little lines, two little lines that bound us together from the moment they were said, tying us to each other in a way that we can't have been any the wiser to at the time. I wonder if he ever whispers them to himself in some sort of desperate attempt to bring back a past that feels like it's slipping further and further away with every passing moment. I wonder if he ever thinks about those lines and wonders how much truth they now hold after everything that's happened, driving himself crazy with the thought that someone who once was so steady in his life now may want nothing to do with him and curses those two little lines, those two fucking lines that once were important to me, of course, but now feel like the only tether I have to the one person that I care about more than anyone else in a way that I cannot name. I just wonder if-
My phone suddenly vibrating snaps me back into reality. I blink a little. Tears blur my vision, cascading gently down my face. I didn't even realize I was crying... I pick up my phone, seeing who would possibly contact me. Miguel? If I had a nickel for every time that he contacted me while I was having intense, deep thoughts about Robby Keene, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
Miguel
-hey!
-it was really nice of you to fix
the kitchen lights
-my mom was super worried that
she was gonna have to spend a
bunch of money on someone to
fix them
yeah, it was np! i'm glad I could help-
-thanks again
-actually I wanted to talk to you
-maybe in person?
-idk it just feels a little serious
uhmm... like rn?-
-yeah... ik it's getting late but it's
not like we're going anywhere
okay, let me ask my abuela-
i assume we're meeting at your-
apartment??
-yeah just right outside it
okay one sec-
Despite my strong desire to use all of that charm that I so clearly have- and also maybe the tired card- to convince him to just say whatever it is he needs to talk to me about in a phone call, I drag myself to the living room where Abuelita sits, reading a book on the couch, and ask her. To my surprise, she says it's fine, as long as I don't go anywhere else but down the stairs and right across the pavilion. I'm shocked, honestly.
she said it's okay-
i'm on my way down-
-thank you for agreeing 🙏🏽
yeah yeah yw-
I pull on my shoes, make sure my hair doesn't look like a complete rat's nest, ensure that it's not obvious that I was crying like two minutes ago, then head down the stairs, finding Miguel waiting outside of his apartment.
"Hey," he breathes out, seeming a little flustered, almost. It does not help my pounding heart, turning stomach, or the amount of nervousness that I already had. I hate when people pull the whole 'I need to talk to you' thing, but at least we're talking now instead of at an undetermined time where I have to panic the whole time. You didn't have to tell me in the morning that you 'need to talk' and then wait thirteen hours to tell me. Tell me now, coward.
"Hey..." I respond, "¿qué pasa? Is everything okay?"
He motions for me to sit down and I do, mainly because him sitting in the wheelchair while I stand is a little awkward. Did I do something wrong? I'm assuming the lights work okay and I didn't screw them up or anything because he thanked me for fixing them even after his mom did, so I don't think it's about that... consider me: terrified.
"It's nothing I'm just... worried about you..." Miguel says. My heart pangs. Worried? About me? Why- why would Miguel be worried about me?
"Demetri texted me the other day and he mentioned that you helped him rebuild his science project, but then you also said that you had to finish your own and that you led classes at tae kwon do and even today you fixed our lights and then immediately had to go off to meet a friend and... I don't know. Whenever I talk to you I feel like you're always super busy, but you still make time for other people," he says when I say nothing.
"I've always been busy," I wave away, "I like it that way."
"I know, I know, but this just feels different.." he says, "but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about, I just thought about that while you were walking down."
"Okay... so.. what did you want to talk to me about?" I ask, more confused than before. I see what he means about me being busy, and it's true that I've been busier than usual, but the more stuff I have to do, the less time I have to overthink, and I'm a fan of not overthinking. Miguel takes a deep breath.
"When I called you while you were at school the other day... I know you didn't just trip... I heard Hawk's voice right after I heard something hit the locker and I was thinking about it, and... did he pin you against a locker?" he asks, sounding genuinely concerned. I feel frozen. He was able to conclude all that? I suppose one would have a lot of free time to think about such things while recovering in a hospital bed. Not knowing what to say, I nod, keeping my eyes on my own legs.
"He didn't... do anything to you... right?" he follows up, his tone becoming a little more serious. Oh my gosh... has he gone all this time thinking I was- now I feel awful.
"No! No, it's okay, it's okay. I managed to get the situation under control... I know it doesn't seem like it, but when I want to, I can get under his skin," I reassure.
"Are you sure?"
"I promise, trust me, it's not the worst thing that's happened to me in the past week,"
"About that," he says. Wait what.
"When you were finishing with the light, your shirt lifted a little and... I swear I saw a huge bruise on your side... it looked really bad... I just wanna know what happened..."
He saw..? Ay caramba, I feel like such an idiot. I was so focused on getting the lights fixed that I didn't even think about the bruise, although I sure as hell feel it now. It's been hurting since Sam and I demonstrated the defense technique for the day because she hit it a little hard by accident so my usual dramatized reaction was not so dramatized.
"Do you really wanna know..?" I ask, my voice coming out weak. He nods. I drop my elbows to my knees and my head to my hands, sighing a little.
"After the car wash fundraiser, I was about to leave after putting all the posters in my car, but I heard something. The voices sounded familiar, so I went to check it out. Nathaniel had all the money in an envelope... they must've found out somehow... I guess they didn't like us fundraising for you when you're supposed to be their friend or whatever so I tried to negotiate and get to a point where we could all leave and nobody would have to get hurt, but then they punched Nathaniel in the face and I just... I didn't want to fight, but they-"
"Who is 'they'?" he asks, cutting me off. Shit, I forgot to include that.
"Cobra Kai..." I say quietly. Miguel says nothing. I know there's more to tell, but I feel as if I can't say a word. I can't move. I can barely breathe. I hardly manage to hold back tears. The silence grows thicker and heavier with every passing moment, seeming hell bent on suffocating me.
"What did they do to you?" Miguel finally asks, his voice low and... angry... I swallow down tears, which feels equivalent to what I assume swallowing a brick is like.
"They left Nathaniel alone after throwing him to the side. There were three of them. I don't know who the other two were but Hawk was their ringleader. The two other boys and I fought a little, but then I got pushed into Hawk and he grabbed my wrist and I was able to get out of it but then I made the mistake of using a double spin heel kick to deal with the boy who pushed me and Hawk used my daze to kick me in the side. I fell, which is where all the scrapes are from.. I managed to get up and get them to give up the money..." I explain, keeping my eyes on the ground, "that's what they did. Three on one. To steal money from us that we had worked for all day, so they could give it in their name. At least, I hope they were gonna give it to you..."
"How bad is the bruise...?" he asks. I look around a little. The last thing I want is for one of the Cobras to be lurking around, waiting to ambush. Upon finding the coast clear, I lift up my shirt, exposing the bruise to someone for the second time today. It's been almost a week and it's still bad. He kicked me really hard...
"Oh my god, Parker... that's bad..." Miguel says, "he didn't break your rib did he..?"
"I don't know... it hurts, but I don't know if it's broken or cracked or anything... I haven't had time or the money to get it looked at and don't say a word about your mom, I'm not doing that to her. She's already worried enough about you. She doesn't need to be worrying about me on top of it. I'll be okay, I promise. I'm already taking medicine for one cracked rib. What's one more? I'll be fine," I say. Yeah, there's government compensation for the new house, but barely. It barely covered the initial payment and a month's worth of rent. Abuelita works an online job and I have my job at the tae kwon do school, but I know I'm gonna have to take up another one soon. I can't afford another hospital visit, especially one where they have to do x-rays.
"You already have one cracked rib?!"
"You and I both know how bad the school fight was,"
The two of us fall silent once more. I don't believe that I have any broken ribs. I know that there's the one cracked one, and I wouldn't be surprised if something happened to another one last week. True, I've been living in constant pain for one reason or another since the school fight, and that pain has only been amplified since the car wash fight, but there's not much one can do about a cracked rib anyhow besides rest it, which I have not been doing, taking pain medication, which I have been doing, and icing it, something I have also been doing.
"You know you don't always have to take care of everything by yourself, right? You can ask other people for help when you need it," he says, breaking the silence. I nod a little. That's what Mr LaRusso told me...
"You always put other people before yourself... helping Demetri and my mom and all the kids you teach and.. and me... you're allowed to take care of yourself, Parker," he says, his voice gentle. Tears finally start to slip down my cheeks, cascading softly and silently. I don't say anything.
"Thank you for telling me what happened... it just... didn't seem like you had anyone to check on you. I just wanted to make sure you were some degree of okay, since you always do that for me," he finishes out. I finally look up at him, almost confused. He's right, in a way. I have Abuelita, who I feel like I can tell almost anything, but other than that he's right. I have a bad habit of shoving down my own problems and helping other people with their's instead, and that usually leads to a lack of reciprocation from the other person because they assume I'm okay and I can't fault them for it because it's exactly what I want them to believe.
"Thanks..." I say, still a little confused, "that means a lot."
He smiles back at me.
"Just looking out for a friend," he responds. I manage a small smile.
"It's getting late though, and I know my mom is gonna snap at me for keeping us both out here for so long, so uh... goodnight, Parker."
I laugh as I stand up and wipe away the tears on my face.
"Goodnight, Miguel," I reply, and with that and one last exchanged smile, the two of us head back to our apartments and while the pain I feel hasn't been alleviated, I feel as if I can be a little more at ease knowing that someone is looking out for me. That someone cares. And right now... I know I could use someone that cares.
• • •
A/N: I hope this chapter is of quality and, as always, stay safe and take care of yourselves :)