Jennie's POV
'I am born to be alone' is what my uncle always says.
From childhood to adult, I've been alone ever since, and I was fine with it; I'm used to it, always have been for the whole 19 years of my existence.
I don't give a fuck, my life is fucked up anyway, so what can I do?
Life is a bitch.
It's not like I can do something about it.
But now, as in right at this moment as enter my penthouse,
it felt... weird.
It was eerie silent and... empty.
Just the usual.
So it should not suppose to feel like this. Like what said, I'm used to this usual silence, being alone and coming home to literally no one.
It shouldn't feel like this.
Absent-mindedly, my hand makes its way to my chest, rubbing it as if it is in pain when in fact it was just trying to ease this uncanny feeling inside.
And I have been feeling this way for exactly 82 hours; the time being of her absence.
But instead of being happy, I find myself yearning for someone who could stay by my side and do the things that Lisa had been constantly doing.
Or maybe it is Y/n that I have been longing for.
Shut up mind
Tired from work, I made my way to the living room with some take-outs on hand. I never learned how to cook, so take-outs and instant foods are always my meals for my everyday life.
My maids? I fired them long ago.
Sitting on the couch, I slumped comfortably, turning the television on to fill in the silent atmosphere.
Though comfortable and well, my stomach couldn't seem to digest the food, my appetite is long gone as everything just reminds me of her, my mind replaying every second spent with her.
Take this can of soda in my hands as an example.
---
"Hey, Jennie?" Y/n sat on the couch beside me with an expression full of curiosity. "What is that?" She points at the can of cola that I was holding.
"Coke" I say plainly as my eyes remained glued on the television, too engrossed with what I was watching.
"What's... a coke?" Though I can't see her expression, uncertainty was in her voice.
I faced her, surprised. Who in the world doesn't know a coke?
"Haven't you had one of these?" She only shrugs, shaking her head as a 'no'
"Go get one on the fridge if you want" She quickly rushes to the kitchen, coming back with a can in her hands.
She was examining it, brows creased as she flips the can up and down, probably wondering how to open it.
But before could tell her how, she roughly shook the can, biting it open. Then it burst.
The soda spits right onto her face, scaring her. Out of impulse, she points and threw the can to me which, to my disappointment, wetted my whole face with it.
We bathed in coke and it was her fault, but to my surprise, didn't feel any hint of frustration. Instead, I kind of find our situation funny-she was clumsily funny.
"Sorry" She whispers
---
Reminiscing those times, found myself slightly laughing.
That is until, realized my actions and abruptly stopped, composing myself immediately.
Why am even laughing at something that isn't funny? Sighing, threw the leftovers in the bin and took a short quick shower, changing into a comfy pajama.
If I can't eat, then might as well sleep.
I lay down on my bed and close my eyes, hoping that, just even once, I could get a good night's sleep.
But how can I sleep when my bed smells like her?
It smells like her since she had been sleeping here for the past days, to give me company when I was having a hard time.
Now even my bedroom reminds me of her.
---
"Hey hey, it's fine. Everything's fine" Y/n rushes to my side as she saw my trembling state at the corner of my bed, enveloping me in a hug as she whispers calming words into my ears; her voice though was calming enough for me.
And I was just holding unto her as I continued sobbing violently that shook my whole body.
"I'm here now, your safe" She pats my back soothingly. helping me to relax as my tired eyes don't seem to have any plans of stopping in bringing new tears.
It was fine though, at least having her near me makes me better; safe.
"Y-Y/n-"I choked on a sob. "Shhh"
Keeping my eyes close, exhaustion overtakes my body as Y/n wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer.
"Sleep Jennie, you're not alone, I'll always be here..."
---
'I'll always be here'
Then where is she now?
I stir on my bed for the nth time, but it seems like sleep isn't going to happen any time soon, no matter how much I tightly close my eyes or how comfortable the pillows are.
I glance at the clock, 10:47 pm
It's still early. Grunting in annoyance, roughly pushed myself up and change into some casual clothes.
If I can't sleep, then might as well have some fun,
Grabbing my coat, head outside towards the place that takes me out of the reality, even if it is just temporary
The bar.
A vodka will do to free me from this shit, make me numb, and well- help ease everything. Maybe it could knock me out cold too, bring me to sleep that could be my last and end all this.
Minutes turned into hours as I continued downing a shot or two every now and then.
But it isn't enough. I still need more.
I knew it.
All of them are the same, Y/n's one of them too.
All of them will eventually leave Y/n surely got tired of me that's why she left.
And here i thought she was for real.
Do I regret pushing her away? Hell nah!
She's just like Seulgi!
A good-for-nothing werewolf who falsely claim me as their mate just so they could escape and leave me for good, maybe plot revenge someday.
They are all stupid! Fuck them all!
If she was really my mate, she would always stay at my side or that's what my parents told me about wolves which is apparently not true.
Why do I even think I would have a mate? I'm just a mere human for Jisoos' sake!
Uhg.
I was about to grab another bottle when a hand moves it out of my reach.
"Heeeeey" My eyes were even droopy to look at the stranger properly.
All I know is, it was a girl, a sexy one at that.
She just looks like my Y/n.
I stared at the stranger more but my eyes failed me my vision was blurry and I couldn't see a thing clearly,
I was too weak and drunk- probably wasted to even talk and look around.
The headache and dizziness are killing me. all could do is lay my head on the counter.
At least I felt numb.
Mistakes Are Mine