Levi has about a dozen thoughts running in his head as he walks down the corridor and towards his study to get a cloak. Soldiers were already rushing by to get ready for the Expedition that will commence in less than an hour but to Levi, anything else hardly matters as much as you right in that moment.
But just as he was about to leave the room, he found the door blocked by Erwin who stood in front, the piece of parchment in hand and not a sliver of emotion in his face. The same stoic expression he always wears like he's constantly playing poker.
"Get out of my way, Erwin," Levi said, walking past the Deputy Commander of the Scout Regiment.
Levi was already by the door when he heard the commanding voice of Erwin who, for some reason, made Levi instinctively stop in his tracks.
"You do realize what you're doing, Levi."
"It's you who don't know what he's doing," Levi shot back, turning around to face Erwin, his eyes darting down at the parchment for a second before looking back at the man in front of him. "I take it you read the letter."
Levi did not quite like the look Erwin has now. He looks as though he's asking, so, what about it? And Levi wanted nothing but to wipe that off his face, preferably with his fist if this man is not the one of the very few people Levi respects.
"Did you?" Erwin asked, putting the parchment on Levi's desk. "Did you read the entirety of it? Y/n asked the woman who wrote this letter to tell you not to worry about anything but the Expedition."
Levi scoffed. It's clear now to Erwin that even if Levi reads the last part, nothing will change.
"So, you've made your choice, Levi. You chose your wife over the rest of humanity."
"You're talking like my wife is not your sister because I don't see an ounce of worry on that goddamn face of yours."
Erwin didn't look at Levi, he averted his gaze down on the desk and looked at the parchment again, remembering the words written on it. Giving birth is dangerous enough as it is, with one foot on the grave, what more would premature labor be. Everyone knows it's life-threatening, for both the mother and the unborn baby.
"I happen to be good at masking my emotion," Erwin muttered, tearing his gaze from the parchment to finally meet Levi's glare that could murder anyone at that point. "Very well, you can go. I'll tell the Commander."
It was evident that Levi let out a sigh of relief, however inaudible, when he heard Erwin say that. Levi wasn't planning on telling Commander Keith Shadis, the man would interrogate him to no end. Besides, Levi has a feeling that it wouldn't take long until Erwin becomes Commander, during the preparation for this Expedition, Keith Shadis had entrusted almost everything to Erwin.
"But Levi," Erwin said before Levi could open the door. "I hope you're prepared for the consequences of your actions."
He knew that, Levi knew that the moment he decided upon going back to the Interior than going beyond the Walls. Whatever consequence it would be, he is prepared to take it. But right now, anything hardly matters, he reminded himself.
Erwin took a step towards him, put a hand on Levi's shoulder before he continued. "And you will make another choice today, make sure to choose wisely."
Erwin left after that, his hand full of the weight of humanity's burden still lingering on Levi's shoulder along with the words Erwin said. He did not say if he will make another choice today, he said it as though Levi will make another choice and that he is certain of it.
He tried not to dwell on Erwin's riddle and instead headed outside to the stables and took his stallion, mounted it and headed to the woods where he took the shortest route back to the Interior.
The route is rocky and uneven, but his stallion was able to pass it as it sensed Levi's urgency. By the time the sun is at its highest point in the sky, Levi finally got to the Capital and to his residence where he left his stallion and practically ran inside the house.
He took off his cloak and threw it on the couch before he headed upstairs, taking two steps at a time until he got to the corridor where he saw a young woman rushing outside the bedroom holding a basin full of water and a towel.
She almost jumped when she saw Levi. "C-Captain Levi!"
She didn't say anything as she ran past him and Levi walked to where she went from. He stood outside the door, his heart hammering from his chest and he could hear its beat pounding in his ears. The adrenaline is starting to weigh off, in return he started to feel what is closest to fear as he lifted his hand and slowly turned the knob, pushing the door open.
Inside was a middle-aged woman Levi recognized as Ms. Florence. The curtains on the four-poster bed were draped but Levi can see Ms. Florence leaning down. When she put the curtain to the side, Levi saw you lying on the bed, your hair sprawled on the pillow, sticking on your forehead and neck as sweat run down your skin before Ms. Florence wiped them.
It was the first time Levi ever saw you in immense pain, your eyes shut close but you're not asleep, your eyebrows furrowed together and there are tears prickling the side of your shut eyes. Your whimpers could be heard in the room, your hands clutching the sheet and Levi's eyes traveled down until he saw something that made his knees almost give out.
He leaned to the side where a table stood and put his hands on top of it, knocking the flower vase that fell on the floor, shattering to a hundred tiny fragments. And only then did Ms. Florence realized he's right there.
"Captain Levi!" she gasped as she straightened up.
"Is that..." Levi started, his voice trembling for the first time, and for the first time in a long while he felt fear. He couldn't even get a proper sentence out as the pounding in his ears became louder and he gulped down visibly. "...blood."
On the lower part of the bed, the sheet is stained with blood. Levi is no new to seeing blood, hence he even saw limbs during Expeditions and he had been so used to it. But when he saw the blood coming from you, it was as though Levi had lost all the strength in his body.
The young woman from earlier came back, still holding the basin that Levi noticed had now clear water and Ms. Florence took it from her.
"She started bleeding a few minutes ago after her water broke," she said hastily as she went to the edge of the bed and wiped the blood off while the young woman started to wipe off your sweat.
You turned your head to the side and let out a cry as Levi felt his heartbeat spike. It was the first time he felt so helpless like this, he literally couldn't do anything to alleviate the amount of pain you're feeling. If he can only share the pain, he'd gladly take all of it.
Ms. Florence stood up and walked towards Levi who tore his gaze from you to look at the woman in front.
"I'm afraid I have to ask you to make a very important choice," she started. "There will be a possibility that during the delivery, we might not be able to save both of them. Which one..." the woman seemed to hesitate, she seemed to swallow hard as if she didn't want to say it. "Which one would you have us prioritize?"
Just as Levi chose to return here rather than to go with the Expedition outside the Walls, Levi had to make another choice, just as Erwin predicted he would. No one should choose like this, Ms. Florence knew that as well, that's why she seemed to hesitate. But even she cannot do the impossible.
"If..." Levi started, straightening up, finding the strength in his legs again. "If I didn't come here and choose, which one would you prioritize?"
"Naturally, we prioritize the mother's life over the unborn child. But since you're here, we will take your–"
"Then do it," Levi said, cutting her off. Levi swallowed down the bitter taste in his mouth, and the thought that was carried along his choice. He had already chosen you over humanity, he had chosen you over anyone and anything else.
"Prioritize her life over the unborn child. Make sure she lives."
He turned around, ready to leave the room because he felt like he was being suffocated to death. He cannot watch a part of him die again.
But before he could open the door, Levi heard a voice. Your voice calling his name, so faintly yet so clear.
"Levi,"
And the thought that you might have heard him made Levi's heart wrenched in an indescribable amount of pain.